sniperz

I was wrong at major parts of the relationship. Sorry miss L, you were enduring so much. I wanted to tell you that from afar, I still deeply have feelings for you. I wished I can put more love to you. It ended around 400 to 450 days in between which is kind of sad. Relevant to my first relationship and your my second, I wished we could last more than 700 days and even more to the eternal. It's no joke. I can't afford to hurt you anymore or longer. Your a great girl but naivety has always been your actual weakness. I pray to god and kneel down and hope you will become a great woman, I wished I can win you back but you know how much I hurt you. But if you can overlooked it next time, I'll make sure you won't feel it anymore.

Oh... 50+ days counting after the break I issued. Many things got exposed , spread. My flaws or so as yours, girl. Time to say it. Karma strikes! I know the sin of beauty is in you. You have a black dot on your cheek's left side. You SHOULD not have even cut away natural things. Now your going to give problems of insecurity and confidence to your other second level, downgraded people for the rest of your life. Cutting off black dots when it doesn't even affect your health is totally an insult to the true you. Mark my words. I am hate/love but soon it's going to set me free. Being over 365 days or more with you is a blessing to me but you have bestowed lots of problem as a woman. To be honest, you lost everything. You could have swallowed all your ego and pride after the breakup. No. You did not. Your problem of insecurity and confidence brought my super confidence and security down to the minimum. It's all because of what your thinking , perceive makes this relationship a goner. I may have wrongs. And that only results in word violence. But I have changed, be careful. Knowing women are sensitive creatures. Now what you do, girl? Cling on some wastage guys out there? Some friends? Oh. Giving less fortunate the things maybe quite deserving. It's there that I blocked entirely of your existence , your social media and everything from the mail side. It's your loss and my pathetic waste of years being with you. Who asked you? What's wrong with you? Damn. Speaking of it, you lack faith in the names of Christianity. I have been attending churches around which give me some gospel and blessings. So I can look forward to what I want and help the society. That is but all. You wanted to change your handphone number? Do so! I wouldn't even a crap about it. Expect me to call you again? Nah. Change it for your less fortunate future boyfriends or husband? Do so. If you even know my account at ENA or LS, you'll be ashamed I have been nice earlier on. You took it down the drain! R.I.P to the second ex of my relationship.

In this world, all I can say is love hurts. It has to whether be it a good or bad one. I did NC for few weeks and broke it few times to contact. It didn't go well. We need to change , improve better. Yes. Mine is where she and I had a long hours of talk then ask never call again or she'll change her phone number. It made me not even dare to call. I respect her decision. But it's going to be hard for me. From mails to phone calls, I see a few hints of how she wished who I was. But I hope there's a second chance but if not, then it could be her loss entirely. She really loved me I heard from friends. Hey... So your not alone but it sucks we're facing this heart ache all alone or so.

Remember, your not the only one facing this dilemma. I am facing it for this few months too. But my case, the girls don't usually go other guys. That's all for I know. The girl prefer being alone etc. Probably meant to be or not. I feel what you think. That's exactly what I am grieving and moving on with. Stronger resolve. Ok. Now back to me. I wanted to see myself happy with you. That's all even if it's a sweet dream. Second chance? Not sure I'll be deserved. It's your decision.

It's almost two months after I issued that break. I attended more social activities, searching answers for the selfish and foolish side of me. I learn much from churches. Something about men and women which realizes of the importance you have brought upon me. I can't never thank you more. I have a feeling we will meet again in determined areas of life. Would that be the time you will see me differently or so? I don't wish to see you waver too far and end up stepping on more dangerous people outside. That's all I wanted to say. Although I'm getting better, my heart still seems to be missing you. I pray that the hurt you have will slowly be removed.

I never wanted to hurt you. It's unintentionally. I may have been making use of "word violence" last time. Never. If we were to meet again, I really will go through as a gentleman.

We had an hours of talk, I was glad you picked up the phone after going soon to be two months after break up. Your so cold, I can feel it girl... But there is something different about you, your points of view and life have changed. I hope you stay true to whom you are. That classy , picky personality that you and I once had. I do loved you before. But I tend to take things for granted, I am sorry. Miss L, your a wonderful girl and I know you won't easily give yourself away to other guys. You have to aware. I hope we could reunite and create new feelings instead of the old ones.

I'm from Asia Pacific. I am proud to say the second girl of my life was an important route to a better me. Both of us have flaws , big struggles ending up having to get more answers from friends she knew that's linked to my network. I know you don't want the word of wait. If I'm deserving, you said I would be a friend again depending on your courage. You may have been too fresh despite 20s. You get your freedom but you pledged that you won't find any guy and expect for this 1~2 months after break moments. Your classy, picky and I know your type. Who knows what your up to now? You said your heart is closed. God bless your healing. May it be fast. You almost had your life off because of overdose beer. You should learn to appreciate. I'm panicking because of all those one years experience together. Maybe I can look through it someday. You must stand strong. I have cried once in a while all because you gave me a proper light of hope.

I had applied NC for 4-5 days and then another 1 weeks more which in between I have broke it. I felt that even if I do apply NC, does it really goes effective if your EX really isn't truly loving you and finds someone?

I went until Day 9 or 10 and stopped using NC rule but will begin with it again. Healing is important. Even if your ex or girlfriend gives up easily, you should not. Try that maybe it's the true love you wanted.

I did a few NC rules but not to say I break. I just send some messages to confirm my acceptance and healing process. I do think we can be together but it'll be a tough road ahead after breakups. I know if she knew and I have changed, I hope she can consider although I'm the dumper. She's my second and I feel pretty much that way for now.