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i think i know what went wrong between us. and i think you panicked way to much. we both had to parts in it, and if we step backed and look at it we would have figured it out. and if you didnt ignore feelings and speak up we probably would still be together. you always do that after you promised me the first time you wouldnt, but i still love you. come home. i know this can work, but you got to give it time. not push the escape button every time you cant figure s__t out. seriously lets work this out. i can see that it wont take much but more open communication so we surely will understand each other. i tried everything, and alot of times i wasnt even smothering you so you cant say that either cause you so dang confusing. you ask for this and that, i did it. but you still have to ask why didnt u do anything to fix it. you need to work on that. we are a good couple and match and i know it regaurdless what ppl say. there is chemistry there. we didnt have to end. i hope you realize it soon, IF you even realize anything.

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I believed and believed and believed for so long in something that simply wasn't. My level of delusion over us has me now second guessing myself in everything I do.

 

I need to be free of this. I need to be free of you. Please please do not contact me again. Let me heal in peace and find my dream life ... I know it's out there, I need to be free of obstacles. I need to be free of you and your head games and lies.

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I hope with the next person youre with, you learn to express your good feelings & love towards her. Because if all someone has are the negative criticisms and bad feelings told to them all the time, love doesn't survive or thrive. I'm seeking happy times and a greater intimacy with someone! Much more good stuff than bad. How can you not get that about life?

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missing you allot today. i dunno why. i see all these couples holding hands, watch how the girls interact with the guy.. i miss it. i remember back when we had that..

 

i wonder what your doing. i wish i could call to say hi, whats happening.. but your at work with your boyfriend.

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Ive felt good the past couple weeks. This week i felt as tho you missed me which is why you wanted me to sit with u and talk to you when we were all out on thursday night. It hurt to know you went over to A's on Saturday night and it hurt that J said your changing which I can agree too. I wanted to see you today, just you and me and even just hang out as mates. Lets give each other space but lets not call it over forever!

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I'd get you a copy of "The 40 Year Old Virgin," except that as of today--unless you went to a prostitute after dumping me, which is quite possible--you likely are one.

 

Maybe some day you won't be so terrified of intimacy and commitment, and will start acting like a normal person. Good thing I won't be around to see it, though.

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I miss you so much. I listened to "What if you," and I broke down and sobbed because I remember we'd listen to that song together. I also specifically remember when you told me how much you thought of me when you listened to that song. I miss you, and I hope that throughout the day, even for a short bit, you're thinking about me as much as I'm thinking about you.

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Does it make you feel better about yourself knowing that I can never contact you again - it dissolves you of any responsibility - you can just kid yourself that I never existed and you never did any of that bad stuff to me - erase me from ever being on this planet.

One day your conscience will catch up with you - if not I pity you for what kind of person you are.

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I miss you. Do you think one day we'll have a chance again? It's such a silly thing to ask and I don't want to know the answer. I don't think we did anything unforgivable and I know where I am at right now I'd be an even better girlfriend, but i don't think you've spent this time apart working on yourself. I don't think you think you did anything wrong. So I guess I'll enjoy being single and eventually be that better girlfriend for someone else. but maybe i'm kidding myself. maybe i'm still in denial. denial is a tricky thing to spot sometimes. I'm doing really great working on myself but this is going to be the worst GPA I've ever gotten in my life. I just don't care about my classes anymore. did you wish HER a happy easter? does your family ever ask about me? i wonder what they say...

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Our candle burns away, the ashes full of lies

I gave my soul to you

You cut me from behind

No where to run

And no where to hide

You're scared of the truth

I'm tired of the lies

Cause who I am

Is where you wanna be

 

Don't act like an angel

You're fallen again

You're no superhero

I've found in the end

So lie to me once again

And tell me everything will be alright

Lie to me once again

And ask yourself before we say goodbye

Well goodbye

 

 

You said you were there for me

You wouldn't let me fall

All the times I shared with you

Were you even there at all?

No where to run

And no where to hide

You're scared of the truth

I'm tired of the lies

Cause who I am

Is where you wanna be

 

Don't act like an angel

You're fallen again

You're no superhero

I've found in the end

So lie to me once again

And tell me everything will be alright

Lie to me once again

And ask yourself before we say goodbye

Well goodbye

Was it worth it in the end?

 

Why'd you have to up a run away?

A million miles away

I wanna close my eyes and make believe

That I never found you

Just when I put my guard away

It's the same old story

You left me broken and betrayed

It's the same old story

 

Don't act like an angel

You're fallen again

You're no superhero

I've found in the end

So lie to me once again

And tell me everything will be alright

Lie to me once again

And ask yourself before we say goodbye

Well goodbye

Was it worth it in the end?

 

Lie to me once again

It's the same old story

Lie to me once again

It's the same old story

Was it worth it in the end?

 

"Lie to Me" - Twelve Stones

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I honestly think we can still work things out. We just need to sit down and talk about our issues. But you have to want things to work out too and you have to put effort into it. I won't chase after you for this. I'm going to move on and heal. I won't ever deny how precious you are to me, however. You know where to find me.

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funny i see you changed your facebook picture. i wonder why.

 

i wonder what your feeling. are you thinking about me? i thoought about you all day of course but it is getting better. i still havn't found any place to move to. i wish you were here, to help.. its going to be tough not having you around this time.

 

i am slowly starting todo all the house work. i regret not giving you more for doing this.. it is allot of work.

 

i miss you.

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Hey, thanks for cutting me loose to be with someone who has a sense of humor. B and I went to the grocery store and we were laughing and tickling each other in the isle like little kids. You were too "cool" to do things like that, remember? God forbid WHAT WOULD EVERYBODY THINK?! What I did reflected on YOU! OMG! But B doesn't care what anyone thinks. He says whatever he thinks is funny and is as corny as heck, but it's cute. He bumped into something and made a joke about himself. You'd play it off, all cool, and not even have a sense of humor about it. You were dull, come to think about it. You never wanted to do anything adventurous or out of the ordinary. Your idea of a challenge was a new videogame. BOY, I'm so glad that B doesn't like videogames!!! He enjoys taking walks with me and he actually thinks I sing well! He told me I have a beautiful voice and he stared at me while I was singing in church. You always tried to outdo me. I could never sing in front of you unless I was whsipering. Also, I can make silly voices with B and he will laugh and tell me I'm so cute. You'd just look at me weird like it was out of character for me to be silly. I like that B accepts those little things about me that you didn't. He is also romantic, which is sooooooo nice! He tells me he loves me all the time and I feel fulfilled in that way. I always felt you were holding back. But it is nice that we can be affectionate and I am not the one to always intiate it. It is nice to feel truly wanted and desired and I am really and truly forgetting you for the most part and appreciating what I have with B. I could not go back to you because I am spoiled now. He treats me like a queen. You treated me like a child. Why would I want to go back now?

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Its been a month and a half. I dont expect to hear from you. I didnt plan on contacting you, just still feel a hole where you are missing from my life, and not necessarily as a boyfriend, just as a person I was once close with. I know a friendship wouldnt work, and part of me is too angry with you to want a friendship. I switch from being understanding about why you left, to being angry for leaving me so easily, for finding someone else so fast. If she is the right one for you than I need to accept that it is better off this way. But I just have never had a relationship end like this, where it was just a wall. Totally gone. I never had a relationship end where I question so much if I even meant anything. Not hearing from you and only seeing you out with someone else is so hard to see..How did your feelings switch so easily....I will always wonder this and always hope for answers, or a sign that you still think of me or care....It is really hard, and I cant help but to wish it was harder for you. I know that is not loving to say, but the fact that I am still unable to be with anyone, and you were with someone a week later should show who really cared. I dont know. I know in time it will be okay, like with everything. I just hate that you are not part of my life anymore.

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I didn't even know you.

You are a stranger to me. I hope you get what you deserve for treating women as if they are the one for you then you split when it becomes serious

Especially when that woman,ME, has a child, who got attached, who you told you were his best friend then you stoppped coming around after two months because you KNEW it was going to end and you had me fooled into thinking it wasn't

 

UGH I could scream now that I know what you are.

KARMA.

It will get you twice as hard, especially for screwing around with a childs emotions

Jerk.

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I hope you're okay, and had a fun Easter. I've been doing fine, but missing you really hit me today. I was doing okay before I accidentally caught a glimpse of our old photos, they were only taken a couple of months ago, we look really happy. They actually made me laugh a lot, remembering some of the stuff we got up to on that trip! I'm dying to reminisce with you.

 

I wish you hadn't left me with so many mixed messages, you know I tend to over-think, haha. I wish you'd call. I'm wondering if you ever loved me at all... I've never really doubted it like this before.

 

I'm sorry I couldn't make you happy, but I truly hope you are now. I'm forgiving you for hurting me, and I am thinking of nothing but good memories of you. I love you xxx

 

P.S. Do you miss me? That's all I really want to know.

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