drakey92 Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 my boyfriend and I have been arguing like crazy lately. we were long distance, and I have moved back as of three weeks. I have alot problems right now with my ovaries and uterus which I am close to having completely taken care of it. it has me stressed out... and I am afraid to have sex right now because of it. My boyfriend has shown worry and a bit of understanding. he has always been obsessed with getting head... he loves it. And I honestly, would rather do anything BUT give head... I dunno what happened, I just hate it now. But I do it because it makes him happy. the thing is... he asks for it all day... every hour, every five minutes. etc. he even has a click sound he makes with his tongue, which signifies he wants head. he will make this sound out in public, at his mothers, at our house. he thinks it is funny but I find it rude and degrading. we got in a big fight this morning.. because I got up to watch my morning news instead of laying in bed waiting for him to wake up so I can give him head. he said that it's been a week !!! (it has not it's been about two days) and he even went to the point to say he regretted ever dating me (in the heat of argument, but still you don't say that). I don't know what it is lately, but my sex drive is like zero. I have bled after we had sex the past three times.. which has caused me to be super scared to have sex now I feel like I'm running a nonstop marathon. he makes me feel super super low and horrible for not wanting to please him 24/7 and if I were to try and talk to him, he will get defensive and start fighting. any guys, can you please give me advice without telling me it's my job to do it, I should just make my guy happy? I dunno what to do.. and I'd be willing to please him more if he wasn't so pushy, and annoying about it, and asking for it all day every day. .. .. I've tried telling him that. please help. thank you. Link to comment
guynextdoor Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Easy fix... That laptop you are using now, give it to him. Let him watch some porn. If you want to be nice you can go get him some lotion and tissue. The aloe lotion makes his weiner smell better. Seriously he needs to grow up, its not all about him. Link to comment
Davie Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 I think the click sound is a little weird and he should maybe stop doing that. Have you spoken to him about that? And... every 5 minutes? I didn't even know men could cum that much!! Hmm, I'd tell him how you feel and if he's understanding like you said then maybe he'll go with once every few days or less even. As for the things he said, he'll probably realise he was wrong and appologise. You're right nobody should say that stuff... but sadly when we're angry (we - people in general) we do say things we wish we hadn't... Link to comment
waveseer Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 I wonder if he realizes how odd it is that he communicates that way with you. I honestly wouldn't mind how much he wants it, but didn't anyone ever teach him to say please? And what's in it for you? Think of something you'd really like (doesn't have to be sexual) and ask him for it so you can feel a bit more considered in the relationship. Link to comment
happyfrank Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 I think you should tell him for every click sound will be one month without any form of sex. He will pick up real quick and not do it anymore. I think he feel very comfortable with you and it time to give him a reality check. Link to comment
drakey92 Posted August 21, 2009 Author Share Posted August 21, 2009 ok, he's not as bad as you guys are thinking... the clicking sound I do agree is degrading and I am putting a stop to that. After reading it outloud to myself I realize how it is. he does it thinking he is funny, I don't laugh. you'd think he get the hint. and it's not like I give him head.. then five minutes later he is asking again. if I decide not to give him head say in the morning.. he will ask repeatedly until I get so sick of him asking I give in to it. it shouldn't be like this I dunno I think I need to have a talk with him. I know you guys think he is horrible! Link to comment
drakey92 Posted August 21, 2009 Author Share Posted August 21, 2009 I'm really not a naive idiot... I understand your points of view. that is why I asked for it. it is starting to make me realize that this all needs to stop. and if I were to hold out head on him... I really don't want to see the results of that one. Link to comment
metwo Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 this relationship is no good right now... due to your last comment... really not good... i mean what the hell... it seems like he has the upper hand in this relationship.. he's controlling you... then remember... that you are your own person.. and you don't have to be told by anyone what to do or not to do... a relationship means comprimising with each other and pleasing each other.. making each other happy.. you are not a sex slave, i don't know why you are putting up with this.. Link to comment
DN Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 How long were you apart when you were long distance and how often did you see each other? Link to comment
russ978 Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Being sexually frustrated while in a relationship sucks! You could let him do the butt... Link to comment
mr.mac Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 You could let him do the butt... Seriously, though, if I demanded anything from my girlfriend she would laugh in my face...or break up with me. Making demands is not what being in a relationship is about. And is it just me or is every other thread in this section about blow jobs? Craziness! Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Sheesh, no offense but your b/f sounds like a real a$$. It always amazes me what incredibly boorish male behavior that (some) women will put up with. I can't imagine what is going through his heading thinking that any woman wants to respond sexually to a "clicking" noise as a head request. Who does he think he is anyway? Sorry, this made me kinda mad. Perhaps you should re-think continueing this relationship. This man is arrogent beyond belief! Either that, or he still hasn't left high school... i agree!!!!! omg. you better set this guy straight. i understand he's frustrated, but a 'clicking' sound, in front of his mother, even if she doesn't know what that means.... omg. he is awful, not funny! Link to comment
DN Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 The clicking sound is not funny only if you don't think it is and have asked him to stop. Lots of couples have secret signals like that they use in public for similar reasons and find it amusing, arousing or intimate. It's fine providing both agree. Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 sure, if it's agreed upon..... but if it's not..... that would annoy me and NOT turn me on! Link to comment
drakey92 Posted August 21, 2009 Author Share Posted August 21, 2009 How long were you apart when you were long distance and how often did you see each other? we have been together for four years, and we were long distance almost 2. we saw each other every weekend or other weekend... and when we did our sex life was good. I just recently starting having the issues with my ovaries and uterus. so the past two months have not been good on our sex life. Link to comment
drakey92 Posted August 21, 2009 Author Share Posted August 21, 2009 like... tonight I was planning on trying to get back into the swing of things in the bedroom with him, but then this fight happened this morning and now I am mad at him for what was said. I do plan on having a talk with him now that I have heard what you all have to say. maybe if he realizes how degraded I feel he wont be this way... Link to comment
DN Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 You need to have a calm and non-accusative talk with him. Don't be angry and don't lay guilt trips. Make this about what will make you feel better not about what he does that makes you feel bad. If you start accusing him of being a bad boyfriend it won't go well. But if you can show him what makes you feel warm, fuzzy and appreciated it might work better. And you also need to listen as well as talk - try to find a way to make him feel better as well. Link to comment
oldenoughtoknow Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Absolutely right. He is treating you like a sex slave. That's not part of a balanced, happy relationship. You are having some medical issues, and are willing to do it for him every couple of days to keep him happy. That alone SHOULD make him happy. He's acting like a self centered high school twerp. I would tell him the clicking has to stop. He might think he's being cute or funny, but it makes you feel degraded. That should be all the reason he needs to stop it immediately. And when he starts whining and pestering you every five minutes, I would tell him to take his problem into his own hands. Link to comment
XxJustMexX Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 and if I were to hold out head on him... I really don't want to see the results of that one. OK... do you really want to spend the rest of your life stepping on egg shells and doing what he wants because you're afraid of what will happen? If you were on the outside looking in, wouldn't that look like it slightly borders a mentally abusive relationship...? I mean come on, you're not holding out on bjs because you're afraid of what will happen? What do you think might happen? If any of them are a bad thing, then I think it's time you start thinking of either setting your foot down or walking out the door. I don't think spending your days worrying about a negative outcome from something so small as not giving a bj is how you should be spending the rest of your days. Link to comment
SighSob Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 I think there are reasons behind his behaviour. For example, he may have noticed that there's something wrong when you two are in the bedroom, and he tries to fix that by making other sexual activities more frequent. At least, that's why I did it, so I'm just guessing. Link to comment
Elena1607308080 Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 He sounds really, really immature. Have you had a talk about this with him? Did you tell him how you feel about this issue? But honestly, that is a kind of behavior I personally would not put up with. I wanted to be treated like a girlfriend, not like a sex slave. I wonder how he would feel if you demanded oral sex from him every 10 minutes - I'm sure he would refuse to do that too... What he is doing is very disrespectful. If you don't want to give him head all the time, he should accept this and stop acting like a child. If you had no intimate contact at all or once every month/every two weeks, that would be another story... If I were you he'd be out the door, but you decide what to do about this. Remember to keep your dignity, girl, and stand up for yourself. Link to comment
Elena1607308080 Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 I think there are reasons behind his behaviour. For example, he may have noticed that there's something wrong when you two are in the bedroom, and he tries to fix that by making other sexual activities more frequent. At least, that's why I did it, so I'm just guessing. More frequent as in every 5 minutes? Erm... he must have a very twisted idea of what "fixing" an issue is. Link to comment
starlight40 Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 A Click sound!!!!! that is completely ridiculous, the head would be given but teeth would be involved Link to comment
DN Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 like... tonight I was planning on trying to get back into the swing of things in the bedroom with him, but then this fight happened this morning and now I am mad at him for what was said. Do you mean having sex? Link to comment
Papillion Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 I can see both sides here. I can completely get how you feel, and it must be very frustrating. And hunny, you have so got to put a stop to the clicking thing, cos that is just plain wrong. But i also get how he feels, cos i'm the same. Well, the same but opposite if thats possible. I dont have a thing about receiving head, for me its giving oral to my woman, and i honestly cant live without it. If she said to me at the start of our relationship that she didnt want to receive oral more than once or twice a month, i would have to have said sorry but we cant be together. Fortunately, she loves receiving it as much as i love giving it, so its a win/win for all concerned. I give it every day, often twice. But do i receive head from her? Pah, 2 or 3 times a year i reckon. Doesnt bother me in the slightest. I guess you have to decide whether you can be a head queen for him, cos i believe this problem wont go away. He needs it. Link to comment
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