I feel so empty inside

[raining.stars]

Lots of Hugs wildflower.

Have you thought about going to a grief support group, or are you in one?

[wildflower_65]

Thank you chocolatecookies. I think a grief support group would help but unfortunately there isn't one in my area.

[raining.stars]

Can you do some research on grief?

I know that helped me just to understand what I was going through, and even though it feels like you will die from the pain you will not.

 

A time to Grieve By Carol Staudacher is a book I really found helpful.

 

Most of all go easy on yourself and be patient. This is the hardest struggle you will ever do in your life, so be patient with yourself, the emotions are already painful and confusing enough without berating yourself for feeling those feelings. And everyone grieves differently, only you know what is best for you, so honor yourself and be your own best friend and don't worry about what others think you "should" be doing.

 

The heart doesn't know time, so no matter how long its been don't push yourself to heal, because the heart will very slowly heal at snail's pace until it is ready.

You will always miss him, and even though he is gone, you find a new place for the love you shared, in a place that is untouchable and forever loved. A place that will give you strength when you feel like the world will crumble.

Yes Life will go on, but the love will never fade and will never lose any of its strength.

Love and Peace

Thinking of you

CC

[wildflower_65]

It is a a beautiful summer's day with blue skies and sunshine. All around me there are couples in love holding hands. I have just left work to start my annual leave and I feel like I am crumbling. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything if he isn't with me yet I feel I can't stay at work as I need to get away from the general public and their petty demands. My grief seems to be getting worse not better so I need to try and shake it. Otherwise I am scared I'll be like this forever - like a modern day Miss Haversham from Great Expectations. I must have done something really bad in a former life to have all this visited on me.

[KG]

Wildflower,

Most funeral homes can refer you a grief group. There should be one somewhere near you.

 

As for being overwhelmed, stay busy. Easier said than done, I know, but it helps.

 

))HUGS(( to you.

[Hendy]

hello

i understand what you ar going through, like yourself i met an amazing man 6mths ago.

i didnt think a man like this exsisted, he was funny, caring, generous, inteligent and we got on like like a house on fire, he touched my soul in ways that i can not find the right words to describe

3mths ago he died of an anuresim to the brain, i dont know what to think, i feel lost, alone, and i ask myself why.

the advice i can give you is it takes time and to be grateful to have really felt loved by someone special, no everyone ever gets to feel that way.

everything happens for a reason, even horrible and painful and unfair at first, but in refelection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realsied your potential, strength willpower or heart.

nothing will make sense to you right now but it will in time, and know there a lot of people going through the same things as yourself,

hope ive helped you a bit,

[Hendy]

hello

i understand what you ar going through, like yourself i met an amazing man 6mths ago.

i didnt think a man like this exsisted, he was funny, caring, generous, inteligent and we got on like like a house on fire, he touched my soul in ways that i can not find the right words to describe

3mths ago he died of an anuresim to the brain, i dont know what to think, i feel lost, alone, and i ask myself why.

the advice i can give you is it takes time and to be grateful to have really felt loved by someone special, no everyone ever gets to feel that way.

everything happens for a reason, even horrible and painful and unfair at first, but in refelection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realsied your potential, strength willpower or heart.

nothing will make sense to you right now but it will in time, and know there a lot of people going through the same things as yourself,

hope ive helped you a bit,

[wildflower_65]

I am so sorry Hendy. Hugs to you and thank you for your kind words when you are in the midst of your own grief

[wildflower_65]

Something happened on Friday - something quite simple but it made all the difference in the world. Someone asked me what happened and then listened as I told our story. They just listened and then held me as my body was racked with sobbing. Since I have felt that something has changed - I no longer feel as if I am mired and floundered.

[KG]

Something happened on Friday - something quite simple but it made all the difference in the world. Someone asked me what happened and then listened as I told our story. They just listened and then held me as my body was racked with sobbing. Since I have felt that something has changed - I no longer feel as if I am mired and floundered.

 

That's you letting it out to someone. Good for you. You are on your way!

[Lonewing]

a Bereavement group would be very theraputic, and it is essentially a support group for people who have lost their spouses or SOs, I know the local jewish center has one that meets often. Look around in your area, there might be something you simply don;t know about.

[KG]

a Bereavement group would be very theraputic, and it is essentially a support group for people who have lost their spouses or SOs, I know the local jewish center has one that meets often. Look around in your area, there might be something you simply don;t know about.

 

That is something that helped me. Even if you have to travel a bit, well worth it!

[EQD]

i almost hate to ask this but... you did say it was an internet relationship, did you ever meet this guy?

how much did you know about him as far as talking on the phone, skype, meeting up, etc.?

 

how did you find out he died?

[wildflower_65]

That is something that helped me. Even if you have to travel a bit, well worth it!

 

Thanks KG. I will do some checking as I think you are right - it would help.

[wildflower_65]

Thanks for your concern EQD but none of that is an issue.

[EQD]

didnt say they were issues. they were questions. i'll go ahead and assume what the answers are then.

 

sorry for your loss..

[wildflower_65]

That's you letting it out to someone. Good for you. You are on your way!

 

Thanks KG. It felt like a dam bursting at the time and I thought I'd never stop crying but it was such a relief to let go of that emotion and it was a positive experience in all this. I felt the benefit of it for a couple days almost like a break in the clouds that had been hanging over me.

 

a Bereavement group would be very theraputic, and it is essentially a support group for people who have lost their spouses or SOs, I know the local jewish center has one that meets often. Look around in your area, there might be something you simply don;t know about.

 

Lonewing, I have found a bereavement counsellor nearby and I shall follow it up because it really made a difference just being able to talk/cry and have someone listen.

[wildflower_65]

Bad day - the gloom has descended once again. I hate the feeling of hopelessness that accompanies it. I just want it to stop. Part of me wishes I could get rid of every reminder of him and make like it never happened - just blot it out of my mind or even convince myself it would never have worked out. I just feel if I don't get back some hope for the future I will never leave the place I'm at now. Something died inside me when he died.

[KG]

Bad day - the gloom has descended once again. I hate the feeling of hopelessness that accompanies it. I just want it to stop. Part of me wishes I could get rid of every reminder of him and make like it never happened - just blot it out of my mind or even convince myself it would never have worked out. I just feel if I don't get back some hope for the future I will never leave the place I'm at now. Something died inside me when he died.

 

You will have these bad days. But they will slowly become less frequent. It's how grief works.

 

Don't lose faith. Give into the bad days, acknowledge them. But let yourself know that it will be over, and a good day will follow.

 

Trust me, you can do this.

[wildflower_65]

Thanks again for your kind words KG. As you say I just have to go with it. There is no way out of it only through it. It is just that I get scared by what I'm feeling. It's like the light at the end of the tunnel is permanently extinguished.

[KG]

Thanks again for your kind words KG. As you say I just have to go with it. There is no way out of it only through it. It is just that I get scared by what I'm feeling. It's like the light at the end of the tunnel is permanently extinguished.

 

No, it's still there. Hard to see through the tears, though.

 

Been through it. I know. I've got the scars to prove it.

 

You'll see that light, but be patient with your heart.

[wildflower_65]

I am missing having someone in my corner. That someone that you can tell everything to without being judged. The someone who loves you unconditionally for the person you are - embracing all your quirks and idiosyncrasies. I miss the sunshine I felt on the inside whenever we spent time together even if it was just a moment. I miss the feeling of infinite possibilities that used to fill me after time with him. I miss his words which were like balm in times of trouble and a spark in times of joy. I miss the butterflies in my tummy from simply hearing his voice. I long to have him whisper loving words in my ear as he holds me in his strong arms.

[wildflower_65]

You know that awful feeling you get when you have forgotten to do something really important - your stomach lurches, you feel hot and the panic/agitation starts to build within you - I keep getting that. I get it when I suddenly realize I have left something unsaid; when I need his opinion about something; when something funny happens and I want to share the mirth; when I see something so beautiful and I want to share the moment; when I hear a song with lyrics I know he would appreciate; when I read something that would spark a lively conversation between us; etc. The list is neverending and I hate that feeling so much. Nothing is going to bring him back yet I still seem to bear him in mind in everything I do. There is no "we" anymore; there is just "I".

[Dagless]

It's going to take time to get use to that wildflower ((hugs)) It can drive you crazy I know but it does get better I promise.

[wildflower_65]

it is said, "Grief is like falling in love - backwards". I loved his voice - it was so soothing yet it had a seductive quality to it that used to make my tummy somersault on hearing it. Now I am finding it difficult to recall the memory of it. How can I forget something that I used to delight in hearing? It is such a cruel thing.