Prostitution as a solution for the overly shy male virgin

[Organs]

[chauvinist pig/] Claiming victory over bagging an ugly semi-drunk broad in a bar is like the US claiming victory over knocking an unfinished airport in Grenada [/chauvinist pig] :splat:

 

Not to be an antagonist, but both would be kind of empty to me, the virgin guy would be settling in both accounts, and I guess you can create a better illusion with a supra hot prostitute, than with a woman who may regret it in the morning.

 

Either way, there's something to be said for actually getting naked with a girl and sticking your member in her vagina. To me, it's like when someone backseat drives you to their home from...wherever you meet them....and after that you know how to get to their place. Going through with the deed--whether by practical means or "I give up" means--helps put your mind at ease and gets that monkey off your back.

[ProtestTheHero]

Incidentally...this is so far and away just an exercise in speculation (not advice), but if I were a male virgin "having" to choose between an unattractive bar fly who wants a one night stand vs. a gorgeous, hot-looking prostitute, I'd still feel better losing it to the unattractive bar fly.

 

Simply because money can buy you anything. And that to me is too much of a sell-out to claim any victory at all.

 

Buy the gorgeous woman with money or with your looks. Either way, you have "won" her with qualities society as a whole would deem "shallow." If you're so good looking that it takes no effort, he shouldn't enjoy his "victory" either (as you have defined it).

[Ramm Zwei]

I think it's time that a true involuntary celibate weighed in here. With all due respect I think that TOV is just fishing for ways of changing the original parameters of the original post just to win her argument. My dear lady I must say that I am such a male (as in I'm 29 years old, I'm not a virgin by choice) and I can't even bring myself to talk to other MEN in a casual manner because I'm just that anxious. So you see, even if I did want to try and lose it to some bar hag, I wouldn't be able to bring myself to do it.

 

Now here's the real kicker. As much as I hate to admit it to myself, I still am somewhat of a sensitive guy. Before I was really sensitive and naive and wanted to be in a relationship. But since then I've learned to look at things from an objective point of view and once I realized that what we call "love" is really nothing more than a chemical reaction in the brain that merely facilitates sex and not a reason to have sex in itself, I've come to the conclusion that since I can't really feel romantic love for a woman yet unfortunately I'm still a human male with drives and urges, then all I really crave is to have sex. What I guess what I'm trying to say is that most of the "sensitive shy guys" your referring to here are still young and haven't lived long enough to see things the way I do so in the end, should they make it to their 30's-40's and still not have sex then they WILL go the hooker route. I know that I will be doing the same.

 

Yous see. I'm planning on writing a book of memoirs based on my life experiences. A sort of post-modern epic tale of geekiness and loserdom if you will. And not too long ago I came to the realization that perhaps the greatest climax I can give my book is when I write about how I have finally become a man and lose my virginity. I've determined that I just can't get any girl to help me with this so I've decided that even in the highly unlikely chance that a woman showed any interest in me and wanted to have sex with me, I cannot lose my virginity to just any woman. I must lose it to a PORN STAR. The only place where this can happen is over at the now famous Bunny Ranch outside of Reno as they are famous for sometimes having porn star "guest prostitutes". I figure that if I lose it to a porn star it will make the chapter more interesting and unlike a regular woman who for the sake of "intimacy" wouldn't allow me to mention her name and how exactly we had sex, a porn star wouldn't mind and in fact might even appreciate the publicity. I'm hitting 30 and at this point in the game I have nothing to lose. Besides, I doubt that a regular girlfriend would allow her man to do nearly half the crazy things you see in porn.

 

I'm also want to do this because just like Diabolik has mentioned about his friend, doing this would allow me to demystify women but not to see them as people, but as mere entities. For if people make me anxious, then I fail to see how seeing a woman as a human being would help me feel at ease with them if I hate people to begin with! I'd much rather see people as interactive objects than as people. Paying for sex and going through the motions will help with that. I've never made the connection between feeling something for someone and having sex with them in the first place so I don't think I'll be missing out on anything. From what I've seen and read about sex, it's just two (or more) people thrusting their pelvises in to various orfices in creative ways.

 

I also hope to kill my inner Nice Guy by doing this as I've come to loathe the man I used to be yet I can't fully shake him off. It's thanks to "him" that nobody is willing to extend me at least a tiny amount of respect. Face it. Nice Guys get used and it sucks to be one.

 

I know that maybe someone will tread out the tired ol' "have you thought about getting therapy?" advice. But I can't for the reason that if I do, then it will go on my record and therefore impede me from buying guns. No I don't plan on killing people. But in this crazy world, you can never be too careful.

 

So in the end all I ask of the women who think they can speak for us older shy guys is to please never speak on our behalf and say that a guy should be proud of something he never made the choice of keeping or giving in the first place. You have about as much an idea about what it's lime to be an involuntary male virgin as I have an idea about what it's like to be a woman on a bad hair day.

[Capricorn3]

My dear lady I must say that I am such a male (as in I'm 29 years old, I'm not a virgin by choice) and I can't even bring myself to talk to other MEN in a casual manner because I'm just that anxious.

 

I cannot lose my virginity to just any woman. I must lose it to a PORN STAR.

If you're that anxious that you cannot even talk to MEN, let alone women, then how do you think you'll be able to go through with visiting a porn star/ prostitute?

(Btw, I don't mean for it to sound sarcastic or anything, but I'm genuinely curious).

[DunwichChild]

If you're that anxious that you cannot even talk to MEN, let alone women, then how do you think you'll be able to go through with visiting a porn star/ prostitute?

(Btw, I don't mean for it to sound sarcastic or anything, but I'm genuinely curious).

 

The porn star would be an object, figuratively speaking.

[Capricorn3]

The porn star would be an object, figuratively speaking.

I understand that completely, but it's still a living, breathing, woman object, lol.

[DunwichChild]

I understand that completely, but it's still a living, breathing, woman object, lol.

 

It doesn't matter, she's still an object. I can't say I can relate to that line of thinking, and can't wrap my head around the objectification of human beings, but who am I to judge?.

[AWT]

After my marriage ended two years ago, I learned the hard way that sex without emotional involvement has negative effects I find hard to put into words.

 

After I sabotaged a first 'rebound' relationship because of my confusion and anger, my self-esteem plummeted to the point where I decided that I would never get emotionally involved again, and after reminding myself I was 'free to do what I wanted' I went through a phase of casual online hookups (and even paid someome 'out of my league') to indulge a fantasy or two.

 

The point is, I would now rather be celibate than do this sort of thing - I came away from these encounters feeling more and more detached from myself and numb, realising that sensation wise cold and clinical sex is no more fun than masturbation

[diabolik]

After my marriage ended two years ago, I learned the hard way that sex without emotional involvement has negative effects I find hard to put into words.

I think that depends on the guy. Emotional involvement is like icing on the cake - I'm not turning down the cake just b/c there's no icing.

[DunwichChild]

So, I frequent this other forum, and there's this 29 year old virgin who had talked about getting with a prostitute, well, he did, now he's got herpes, poor chap.

[Luke Skywalker]

So, I frequent this other forum, and there's this 29 year old virgin who had talked about getting with a prostitute, well, he did, now he's got herpes, poor chap.

 

Most prostitutes have herpes of some form of STD -- or even if you meet a random girl for a hook-up it`s likely she`ll have herpes or some STD. He`s lucky he didn`t get aids.

 

That`s a double-whammy. You had to pay money for that, and you have to pay for it with your health and potential any future long-term romantic interest will get turned off if you got herpes from losing your virginity with a prostitute because no normal girl wanted to have sex with you. But then again, better getting herpes than committing suicide on the issue, what can I say.

 

I just looked at `herpes`on wikipedia the other day and just said, that is not my reality, wheew.

[Brightest Dark]

Haven't read all 19 pages of this (actually only read the first and last) but I reckon it'd be better to be known for being a virgin than being a guy who's only slept with a prostitute. I think it would be pretty gross just to go to a prostitute. I agree with everyone who says if the guy's shy and hasn't been with a 'normal' girl how is gonna have the courage to go with a prostitute? I mean, I'm a single female and there's no way I'd go to a male escort. I think it's almost degrading to think 'I couldn't get someone of the opposite sex so I've gone to a prostitute instead'. And as a female I'd rather a guy I liked was a virgin that was someone who'd gone to a prostitute. It almost seems like the person doesn't respect himself if he needs to go to a prostitute. Ok, maybe I don't know what it feels like to be an older male virgin but I think it would be better to pay for counseling or something to get you over wanting to pay a prostitute. I don't think it's really THAT BAD to be an older virgin (I'm not one but just saying). Sure, there's the stigma, but do you have to tell people? Keep your private life to yourself - and if you ever do meet a girl I'm sure she won't care that much if you tell her you're a virgin. I honestly wouldn't care if a guy I met was a virgin. I'd probably be like 'wow' and shocked, but it wouldn't be me off him. I'd be more likely to go off a guy if I'd known he'd paid a prostitute.

[diabolik]

Most prostitutes have herpes of some form of STD -- or even if you meet a random girl for a hook-up it`s likely she`ll have herpes or some STD.

I posted in another thread only partially joking that no STD worries is the best thing about being a virgin.

 

~80% of the adult population has some strain of HSV; probably even higher if you exclude all the 'involuntary' virgins. And I think TOV quoted some horrifyingly high HPV statistic, but at least the body can usually fight off HPV. HSV is the gift that keeps on giving.

[DunwichChild]

I posted in another thread only partially joking that no STD worries is the best thing about being a virgin.

 

~80% of the adult population has some strain of HSV; probably even higher if you exclude all the 'involuntary' virgins. And I think TOV quoted some horrifyingly high HPV statistic, but at least the body can usually fight off HPV. HSV is the gift that keeps on giving.

 

Holy * * * * that's high, funny to think he could have gotten it by having sex with a nice lady he met at church, not the same risk of course, but still.

[diabolik]

Holy * * * * that's high, funny to think he could have gotten it by having sex with a nice lady he met at church, not the same risk of course, but still.

So not only do you guys have to muster up the courage to flirt with and date women, but if you absolutely, positively, want to avoid any risk of catching herpes, you'd have to weed out the 80% that has either oral H or genital H or both.

 

Fleshlights don't seem so bad now, do they? :splat:

[DunwichChild]

So not only do you guys have to muster up the courage to flirt with and date women, but if you absolutely, positively, want to avoid any risk of catching herpes, you'd have to weed out the 80% that has either oral H or genital H or both.

 

Fleshlights don't seem so bad now, do they?

 

They didn't seem so bad to begin with.

[Organs]

So not only do you guys have to muster up the courage to flirt with and date women, but if you absolutely, positively, want to avoid any risk of catching herpes, you'd have to weed out the 80% that has either oral H or genital H or both.

 

Fleshlights don't seem so bad now, do they?

 

Not to be a jerk--and I'm really not trying to be one--but where do you get those figures?

 

Like I said before, there's a difference between going to an agency and cruising down a seedy part of town for a $20 street walker. And if the girl works for a reputable agency, then chances are she's probably not as dirty as one would stereotype.

 

Now, I don't know for certain, but I don't think you do, either.

[LightbulbSun]

A reason why you should always wrap it. Unless you know for sure that the person you're having sex with doesn't have an STD.

[Ramm Zwei]

If you're that anxious that you cannot even talk to MEN, let alone women, then how do you think you'll be able to go through with visiting a porn star/ prostitute?

(Btw, I don't mean for it to sound sarcastic or anything, but I'm genuinely curious).

 

Well since I have no problem interacting with people in a formal manner (i.e. ordering at a restaurant, buying something or calling a tech support line) and seeing as how going to a brothel is a business transaction and in return you are receiving a service then there is no problem. I'll just ask her to talk dirty to me and do some nasty stuff for me before we get down to business. I won't have to talk to her much.

[Ramm Zwei]

Women say one thing, but they always end up doing the opposite, even if they consciously and truly believe what they say. Hence why you find a lot of guys complaining about how no girl would give him a chance because she got "weirded out" by his being a virgin. You also have to understand that society holds a double standard for men. While virginity is lauded in women, in men it's something that is to be mocked and ridiculed. Hence why being a virgin is such a big deal with guys. Especially if you're older.

 

As I said. In my case, I figure that I have nothing to lose as I don't expect some nice girl to drop into my arms anytime soon and if she does have issues with my going with a prostitute then she's a prude and doesn't want to understand me. I would rather get it over with and not have anyone come into my life than not do it and have someone come into my life only to reject me because not only have I never had a girlfriend, but I've never had sex either. It's happened before and after every single woman I managed to go out with tell me that we just wouldn't work, I can take a hint.

[Capricorn3]

Well since I have no problem interacting with people in a formal manner (i.e. ordering at a restaurant, buying something or calling a tech support line) and seeing as how going to a brothel is a business transaction and in return you are receiving a service then there is no problem. I'll just ask her to talk dirty to me and do some nasty stuff for me before we get down to business. I won't have to talk to her much.

Fair enough. I see where you're coming from. I was thinking more in terms of the anxiety part. I was wondering if a guy who is as anxious as you are (where you said you can barely talk to men, nevermind a woman), then wouldn't that anxiety be equal, if not worse, when you are faced with having sex for the very first time with a stranger? I'm talking performace anxiety here - as in, would it be able to actually get up, stay up and actually do the deed? I have no idea, I'm not a guy but have read about these things often enough, lol.

 

(I think that was maybe too much info, but was wondering how guys see it).

[Organs]

Fair enough. I see where you're coming from. I was thinking more in terms of the anxiety part. I was wondering if a guy who is as anxious as you are (where you said you can barely talk to men, nevermind a woman), then wouldn't that anxiety be equal, if not worse, when you are faced with having sex for the very first time with a stranger? I'm talking performace anxiety here - as in, would it be able to actually get up, stay up and actually do the deed? I have no idea, I'm not a guy but have read about these things often enough, lol.

 

(I think that was maybe too much info, but was wondering how guys see it).

 

I was pretty damn nervous when I lost mine, and I performed okay.

[Capricorn3]

I was pretty damn nervous when I lost mine, and I performed okay.

I have no doubt that the majority of guys get through it just fine. My question was aimed mainly at Ramm Twei because he mentioned his extreme anxiety issues so I was wondering how it would possibly effect him in such a situation.

[Organs]

I have no doubt that the majority of guys get through it just fine. My question was aimed mainly at Ramm Twei because he mentioned his extreme anxiety issues so I was wondering how it would possibly effect him in such a situation.

 

Well, I was trying to encourage him.

 

A glass of wine would help, too, maybe some soft music, just to ease the tension...

[Ramm Zwei]

I imagine that they must have a well stocked bar over at the Bunny Ranch.