LightbulbSun Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 For what it's worth, if you find your prostitute through a reputable escort service, chances are she'll be clean or she won't have a job there. Businesses take pride in clean girls, I think. If you make a living having sex with people, you're going to come accross plenty of people with different sexual backgrounds. Including those with STDs. I'd be more shocked if a prostitute I went to didn't have an STD. Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 There are also window periods. So between tests, she may pick up something. Link to comment
bostonbruins24 Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 What good would going to a prostitute do?Would it help a shy guy in his future interactions with women ? No.Lack of experience in the physical act of sex[which doesn't take any sort of intelligence or training,it's instinctual,not that one wouldn't improve with more experience]isn't the problem for shy men.It is everything leading up to that point,the socialization prior to the sex. Link to comment
diabolik Posted July 21, 2009 Author Share Posted July 21, 2009 What good would going to a prostitute do?Would it help a shy guy in his future interactions with women ? No.Lack of experience in the physical act of sex[which doesn't take any sort of intelligence or training,it's instinctual,not that one wouldn't improve with more experience]isn't the problem for shy men.It is everything leading up to that point,the socialization prior to the sex. This has been addressed, but you'd actually have to read the thread. Link to comment
LightbulbSun Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Virginity is just a label. I know I'm more than just a 26 year old virgin, and I'm sure if a woman is worth worrying about, she wouldn't care about a label. There's more to relationships than sex. Link to comment
Shinobie Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 You’re very young. If you get to be 40 and are still a virgin, you may not feel the same way. I know for a fact that I'll be the same way by that age and besides if I'm a virgin still by that age I probably would have found a way to be rid of this world and be gone completely. Link to comment
Shinobie Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Virginity is just a label. I know I'm more than just a 26 year old virgin, and I'm sure if a woman is worth worrying about, she wouldn't care about a label. There's more to relationships than sex. I agree completely but by the time you get to be over like 30 it becomes completely abnormal for a human being to still be one.It would probably be like a one in a million chance to find someone who doesn't find it strange. Link to comment
diabolik Posted July 21, 2009 Author Share Posted July 21, 2009 I know for a fact that I'll be the same way by that age . . . You know that you'll feel the same way two decades from now? Only a 20yr old could be so naively confident. Link to comment
Shinobie Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 You know that you'll feel the same way two decades from now? Only a 20yr old could be so naively confident. There is no way in hell that I would go for one I promise that.I find it completely immoral and outright disgusting as a matter of fact and just the thought of paying for one would make me even more depressed than I was before. Why pay for one anyways when there are millions of hot jerks out there have one night stands and get it free?This world is strange not many nice people get what they deserve and jerks get everything they want I just hope theres a life after death that is different. Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 This world is strange not many nice people get what they deserve and jerks get everything they want I just hope theres a life after death that is different. Jerks get everything they want sometimes. But they don't win. In the end, they are still -- or I should say -- JUST jerks. If I was 40 and still a virgin, I'd consider a life of voluntary celibacy, with life focused on other attainments. Don't throw away your whole life for sex, relationships, or romance. There's more to life than that. Link to comment
diabolik Posted July 21, 2009 Author Share Posted July 21, 2009 If I was 40 and still a virgin, I'd consider a life of voluntary celibacy, with life focused on other attainments. Don't throw away your whole life for sex, relationships, or romance. There's more to life than that. TOV, with all due respect (and you know I mean that), I think it is practically impossible for a woman to understand involuntary virginity and its impact on the male psyche. It simply is not an issue for 99.99% of women. In any event, shinobie is still very young, and I'm sure he will find someone in due time. Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 TOV, with all due respect (and you know I mean that), I think it is practically impossible for a woman to understand involuntary virginity and its impact on the male psyche. It simply is not an issue for 99.99% of women. In any event, shinobie is still very young, and I'm sure he will find someone in due time. I don't think involuntary celibacy (or virginity)'s effect on the male psyche is any different from a woman's. I am not a virgin, and I'm glad about that, but I don't believe that if I were a virgin now, it would be any better for me. I do know that celibacy and virginity are a chosen option for many (they are mostly monastics). I'm not suggesting anyone become a monk, but I'm saying that if enough had gone wrong in my life that I was a virgin at 40, and I couldn't resolve it through counseling (which I feel is imperative), I would take what I still had of life. I'm proposing an alternative to Shinobie to suicide. I have been involuntarily celibate in my life before (and when I say that, perhaps I should qualify that by saying I don't count any ol' skanky encounter as an option for sex, because at that point I might as well hire a gigolo, myself -- no one is technically completely involuntarily a virgin, if you count guns for hire), and the difference between wanting to dump all my sleep meds down my throat and feeling like going on was deciding to make it a CHOICE. CHOICE is such an empowering way to live, if you can't have something -- choose something else. But the male psyche and sex are no more powerful than the female one, and deprivation is deprivation. It's what you do with it. And with all due respect to you as well, I think you do see that the consensus of male virgins on this thread is that the involuntary pain of not being desired for a relationship is the issue, not the virginal status itself. I haven't read one post by the target population here that is claiming his virginity itself is the ball and chain. Only one poster has said that he'd consider this route (prostitution), and he's not even a virgin. And I agree, Shinobie is far from having to worry about that kind of future. (Edit: So I'm meeting an extreme hypothetical problem with an extreme hypothetical solution.) Link to comment
diabolik Posted July 21, 2009 Author Share Posted July 21, 2009 And with all due respect to you as well, I think you do see that the consensus of male virgins on this thread is that the involuntary pain of not being desired for a relationship is the issue, not the virginal status itself. I'm not surprised by that. But I am surprised that none of the virgins in this thread is even contemplating hiring a prostitute. Then again, perhaps there is a bit of self-selection. I'm aware of some older male virgins on ENA who have not participated in this thread. Link to comment
Luke Skywalker Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 About a year and a half ago I purchased a fleshlight device and think that this is a better route than using a prostitute or even going with any girl that you are not sure what she has or how many guys she's been with. The device feels very cool, and it gives you some sort of virtual sex experience and makes viewing porn even more real. I remember feeling quite happy afterwards whenever I used it, and more connected with women around in my environment feeling like I was getting some -- at some times -- and felt like a more sexual person. This is stored away (since earlier this year while I make an effort to try and find a girlfriend by some sort of dead-line date, where if I can't find one, then I'll allow myself to use it again to avoid this turning to a crutch. My rationale behind using it is to have as real an sexual experience as possible, without having sex. I don't see what a prostitute can really do to teach you about sex. All you are doing is putting a penis inside a vagina, which you can do with a fleshlight anyway. Link to comment
DunwichChild Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 I'm not surprised by that. But I am surprised that none of the virgins in this thread is even contemplating hiring a prostitute. Then again, perhaps there is a bit of self-selection. I'm aware of some older male virgins on ENA who have not participated in this thread. I have, but the thought always ends with her not taking the money because I was so awesome to her...I might as well try to get a threesome with an unicorn and a mermaid. Needless to say I haven't taken this option that seriously. I don't know if that may change when I find myself being a 40 year old virgin who hasn't kissed. I've got 17 years to go. Have you talked with your friend? I'm also curious of his take on the situation, seeing that he lived it. I think he's riding the high, because releasing close to 30 years of sexual tension at one go, must be sort of overwhelming. Link to comment
bostonbruins24 Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 This has been addressed, but you'd actually have to read the thread. Sorry I am not going to read the entire thread whose advice would be counterproductive to shy men .All going to a prostitiute would do is fullfill most shy guy's erroneous false perceptions about themselves that they have to pay for sex. Link to comment
BronzedSkin123 Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 I say go for it. If you are at a certain age where the pressure is just too much for you, get a prostitute. Most people regret their first time anyway. If you are past 25 and still a virgin, and it's really getting to you and getting you down, waiting longer is not going to get any better. The peer pressure is steadily building up. A lot of the ppl giving advice are probably folks who lost their virignity in the standard age range, and had relatively good success finding love and relationships early in life. They really don't know what its like. Link to comment
diabolik Posted July 22, 2009 Author Share Posted July 22, 2009 Have you talked with your friend? I'm also curious of his take on the situation, seeing that he lived it. I think he's riding the high, because releasing close to 30 years of sexual tension at one go, must be sort of overwhelming. Not yet, but I'll report back when I do. Link to comment
ProtestTheHero Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 Diabolik, the point you made about women not understanding involuntary celibacy is a good one. It is so interesting to see women talk about this issue from the male perspective, but how many women without weight issues actually have to put forth tons of effort to get laid? It is interesting to see women add qualifiers like "minus the sleezebag," when sleezebag female attention to some guys is rare and actually a step up. I would say involuntary celibacy is something most women will have a hard time understanding, because that literally means you have no free options. Sleezebags are free options, so you can't dismiss those. That realization of having no free options is going to mess with a lot of dudes still dealing with the virginity label, so that's when I think it's good to just get it out of the way. Link to comment
DunwichChild Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 I think the main difference between a male and a female overager is testosterone. This hormone makes you grow thick hair in your face, torso, buttocks and legs, it makes you want to bludgeon your enemies, and it can even make a clitoris look like a small penis for crying out loud, this is powerful stuff. At a base level, it makes you think of sex a lot, women undergoing sex changes experience this, they want sex and they want it now, their behaviors change, and some even say that they understand men a bit more (which is good because they will become one). When you are a 40 year old virgin you are combining this force with your inability to find it, this is extremely frustrating, especially if you have a high sex drive; you combine this sexual frustration with society's expectation of you as a man, and you'll have the makings of feelings of loneliness and despair. You just have to channel it into something productive if you want to keep yourself together, but sometimes it's just too much, so a prostitute might come in handy, but, she will come, you will bust your nut, she will leave, and you will sit on your freshly busted nut thinking what will happen next. There would be relieve, at first, but you didn't learn how to get more of it without paying, you just learned how to call a prostitute, which might come handy when organizing your next Nazi orgy, but realistically you wouldn't want to call one every time the need arises, unless that's the only thing you want, but if you want a relationship and your behaviour is impeding this, then in my opinion, therapy is the way to go. Link to comment
Organs Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 If you are past 25 and still a virgin, and it's really getting to you and getting you down, waiting longer is not going to get any better. The peer pressure is steadily building up. A lot of the ppl giving advice are probably folks who lost their virignity in the standard age range, and had relatively good success finding love and relationships early in life. They really don't know what its like. Truer words were never said. Link to comment
LightbulbSun Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 Truer words were never said. But which sounds better? 1.) I lost my virginity to a hooker at age 30 OR... 1.) I lost my virginity to my first girlfriend at age 30 Link to comment
Organs Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 But which sounds better? 1.) I lost my virginity to a hooker at age 30 OR... 1.) I lost my virginity to my first girlfriend at age 30 Depends on your perspective. To me, all I hear is "I lost my virginity at age 30." But that's me. I mean, you know how many people lost their virginity to a drunken skank in college? Or maybe their brother's girlfriend? Or some other screwy scenario that's better heard than lived? It's sort of like, if you're starving and you don't care if you're being offered a gas station burger, are you really going to hold out for Charlie Trotter's? Link to comment
Bartok Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 Depends on your perspective. To me, all I hear is "I lost my virginity at age 30." But that's me. I mean, you know how many people lost their virginity to a drunken skank in college? Or maybe their brother's girlfriend? Or some other screwy scenario that's better heard than lived? It's sort of like, if you're starving and you don't care if you're being offered a gas station burger, are you really going to hold out for Charlie Trotter's? Poor comparison (you can't die from not getting sex), but I see what you're saying. I still don't think virginity is that big of a deal. And just to remind everyone, I'm still a virgin myself. Link to comment
katt_marie Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 prostitutes have diseases... or std's... i wouldnt reccomend that. i would prefer to wait until i find the right person. Link to comment
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