Guys and their Image : Overweight women

[Jelina]

I never disagreed with that. What I write is my personal opinion based on my own experiences. Nothing more, nothing less. In culture where I live, and with all people I know - they act as I described. You live far away from me and I take it as a possibility that what you say is true.

 

 

 

I can't help but ask - if he was so happy with his overweight girl, why did he ever dated fit girl after her? Why not going after another overweight girl? It really bugs me ;-).

 

Because she dumped him.

[Pegasus]

Because she dumped him.

 

Ok, that could be a reason why he wasn't with overweight all the time, but does not answer why he went for fit women after being dumped by overweight one.

[Kristallnacht]

I think the places/people who like overweight women tend to be places where food and nutrition are a problem like in Africa. Not to mention the fact that most men who claim to prefer overweight women would probably give a couple of limbs to date a good looking thin girl. I've seen it with my own eyes.

 

Sure guys will date a not bad looking big girl if she is nice and he has no alternative. But as soon as a good looking girl of a normal weight comes into the picture they will leave said big girl. Just look a woman would date a shorter guy if there are no takers, but as soon as a good looking 6'2 guy comes into the picture they will leave shorty.

 

It's just the way the world works. Instead of being in denial about it, which does you no good, be realistic and just LOSE THE WEIGHT. Seriously. For some people I think the question is not whether they are "fine" with their weight, but instead it's the question of what they like more, having a boyfriend or food. For many it's food. So they would rather date guys who they do not like that much because that way they can have both a boyfriend and food. But the reality is that, you can't have both.

[Jelina]

Ok, that could be a reason why he wasn't with overweight all the time, but does not answer why he went for fit women after being dumped by overweight one.

 

It's not like if he goes out and weighs all the girls he goes out with. It's just that he does prefer overweight girls. I guess they just became interested or maybe it was his rebound seeing how he went right back to his ex.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

ahhh, nice cop out.

 

Maybe women don't name David Beckham specifically, but all it takes is one read of the average woman's online romantic personal. The woman could be a morbidly obese pygmy with an iq of 50 and will still have a long list of traits she not prefers, but expects from a man. And many of the traits like being rich, being very funny, being very tall, etc are not things you can control like your weight.

 

Would you say a woman who is 5'0 and only wants to date men 6 feet and up (which is extremely common, if not the rule!) is the equal of a man 150 pounds overweight who only wants to date a size 0?

 

 

I don't see what you're arguing... people have preferences? I agree.

But this is the second argument about height in two thread, so I will definitely take note of men's height insecurities.

 

I realize now men are extremely insecure, too.

[Jelina]

I don't think that applies to everyone. Everyone has their own preference. I don't think it has anything to do with nutrition issues. In my country all you see is thick curvacious women in television. Wouldn't you think if they thought skinny women were more attractive they would put them on tv? It does depend on what you prefer and also your background. For example look at rap videos, do you consider most of those women to be skinny? Do you think those rappers are putting them in videos because they can't afford to put on skinnier girls? I don't think so. I'm pretty sure they could hire them if they wanted. It's just preferred. Just like how some men prefer blondes over brunettes, others prefer big lips over small lips, etc. I've seen men who have alot of options go for bigger women, and I've been rejected by men for not being bigger and I've seen my own cousins get more attention than me because they are bigger.

[Kristallnacht]

I don't see what you're arguing... people have preferences? I agree.

But this is the second argument about height in two thread, so I will definitely take note of men's height insecurities.

 

I realize now men are extremely insecure, too.

 

I'm arguing at some of the women here who attack men for not finding overweight women attractive. And then get angry when you give them a logical solution: lose weight.

 

I don't think that applies to everyone. Everyone has their own preference. I don't think it has anything to do with nutrition issues. In my country all you see is thick curvacious women in television. Wouldn't you think if they thought skinny women were more attractive they would put them on tv? It does depend on what you prefer and also your background. For example look at rap videos, do you consider most of those women to be skinny? Do you think those rappers are putting them in videos because they can't afford to put on skinnier girls? I don't think so. I'm pretty sure they could hire them if they wanted. It's just preferred. Just like how some men prefer blondes over brunettes, others prefer big lips over small lips, etc. I've seen men who have alot of options go for bigger women, and I've been rejected by men for not being bigger and I've seen my own cousins get more attention than me because they are bigger.[/Quote]

 

What culture is that? Is it a very poor country? Is it one of those Caribbean islands where mandingos sleep with fat western women in exchange for money and gifts?

 

And while some men may "prefer" blondes over brunettes, I have never met a man who would actually reject a brunette simply for her hair color. I have however met men and been in the position to reject women based on how obese they are. It is a huge dealbreaker for many men and if you don't lose the weight your dating pool will be extremely small. Not saying this as a put down but actually to help you.

 

You'll say the predictable "well they're missing out by judging a woman by her weight!". It's a great attitude to have, but we all know deep down inside you want to date the attractive, powerful men as much as the next girl.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

I'm arguing at some of the women here who attack men for not finding overweight women attractive. And then get angry when you give them a logical solution: lose weight.

 

Ok.

 

 

..I think many of the responders are just disagreeing with the idea that no overweight woman can be attractive. But like you with the height, it's touchy for many people.

[diabolik]

What annoys me is that skinny=healthy and overweight=out of shape and unhealthy.

She's not skinny, and she might even be overweight by BMI standards (from the leaner, denser muscle), but she looks pretty damn healthy to me.

 

Is it one of those Caribbean islands where mandingos sleep with fat western women in exchange for money and gifts?

Really, that happens?

..I think many of the responders are just disagreeing with the idea that no overweight woman can be attractive.

This is clearly false. Attraction is not binary, it's a continuum. So as a person becomes less and less attractive (due to overweight, underweight, too short, nose too big, whatever), the pool of available long-term mates shrinks; and vice versa - as that person becomes more attractive, their pool of potential long-term mates grows. Even the most gravity challenged (see I can be PC!) women and the shortest men can find long-term mates. Yay!

 

If someone is unhappy about the size of the pool available to them, they should do something to increase the size of their pool. Not so simple for a 5'0" guy, but pretty easy for the average overweight woman.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

Wear shoe lifts. Easy as hell.

[tiredofvampires]

What culture is that? Is it a very poor country? Is it one of those Caribbean islands where mandingos sleep with fat western women in exchange for money and gifts?

 

Not gonna speak for Jelina, but many developed and even first-world countries don't put the emphasis on thinness and regimented work-outs that we do. LOTS of countries have men who love women with voluptuous curves. I went to Italy, and that was standard operating mentality. I watch a lot of foreign movies -- Russian, South American, Spanish, etc., and the lead women who are beautiful in these movies are routinely not scrawny Angelina Jolies.

 

Newsflash: we (the majority on ENA) happen to live in the most materialistic, commercially-driven, shallow, superficial...um, landmass (to use a roundabout word)...on the face of the planet. While obesity is not healthy anywhere, other countries are not like this. We have a national neurosis (not just weight, but the narrow emphasis and definitions of looks and beauty) of epic proportions. But I won't say anything more about that, as I don't want it to become political.

[jenny_mcs]

 

Would you say a woman who is 5'0 and only wants to date men 6 feet and up (which is extremely common, if not the rule!) is the equal of a man 150 pounds overweight who only wants to date a size 0?

 

I don't think you can compare those 2 things because being overweight is generally considered unattractive in either sex, but being short is not (as far as I know) considered unattractive in a woman. I mean, sure, super models are usually tall, but I don't think the average woman on the street gets less attention or dates because she is short. I do think being short adversely effects men's chances.

[greywolf]

Not gonna speak for Jelina, but many developed and even first-world countries don't put the emphasis on thinness and regimented work-outs that we do. LOTS of countries have men who love women with voluptuous curves. I went to Italy, and that was standard operating mentality. I watch a lot of foreign movies -- Russian, South American, Spanish, etc., and the lead women who are beautiful in these movies are routinely not scrawny Angelina Jolies.

 

Exactly. I lived in a country where being called chubby was a compliment. Why? Because it makes it look like you have money.

 

I honestly think that some chub on a woman is cute.

[tiredofvampires]

Exactly. I lived in a country where being called chubby was a compliment. Why? Because it makes it look like you have money.

 

I honestly think that some chub on a woman is cute.

 

Yeah, and also if you ever watch bellydancing, the real pros, the most authentic ones, have that bit of fat padding over their stomach. It's not washboard hard, there's a wiggle to it, and when the rhythms get going, these full-hipped women with their undulating, vibrating bellies are so sensual, it almost makes me wanna switch teams.

 

I'm not even from those cultures, and I can see how on a primitive level, LOTS of men in any culture would be sporting a bone from this, and wouldn't be if some 24 Hr. Fitness hardbody was doing it.

[Kristallnacht]

Not gonna speak for Jelina, but many developed and even first-world countries don't put the emphasis on thinness and regimented work-outs that we do. LOTS of countries have men who love women with voluptuous curves. I went to Italy, and that was standard operating mentality. I watch a lot of foreign movies -- Russian, South American, Spanish, etc., and the lead women who are beautiful in these movies are routinely not scrawny Angelina Jolies.[/Quote]

 

You certainly do not know what you're talking about. I have visited or lived in France, Italy, Russia, Argentina, Spain, Poland, and other countries, and let me tell you what, the men in these countries have a much less forgiving definition of fat than American and Canadian men do. The women the average Argentinian or French man considers to be fat would be considered very average (and on the low side of average)! Obesity is really only an epidemic in Anglophone countries, not so much in other parts of Europe.

 

Newsflash: we (the majority on ENA) happen to live in the most materialistic, commercially-driven, shallow, superficial...um, landmass (to use a roundabout word)...on the face of the planet. While obesity is not healthy anywhere, other countries are not like this. We have a national neurosis (not just weight, but the narrow emphasis and definitions of looks and beauty) of epic proportions. But I won't say anything more about that, as I don't want it to become political.[/Quote]

 

Not going to argue you with that.

 

I don't think you can compare those 2 things because being overweight is generally considered unattractive in either sex, but being short is not (as far as I know) considered unattractive in a woman. I mean, sure, super models are usually tall, but I don't think the average woman on the street gets less attention or dates because she is short. I do think being short adversely effects men's chances.[/Quote]

 

yes it is comparable. I've seen chunky guys with some good looking size 0 women provided they are tall and their fat is mixed with some muscle. I think that a fat strong guy who towers over them is more attractive to women than a slim athletic guy who is only somewhat bigger than them. An overweight man (a trait that is less punished in men than it is in women) looking for a size 0 woman is exactly the same as a 5'0 woman looking for a 6'2 man. If the women here who are all tall obsessed I can bet, want to say bad things about the picky fat guy, they better be open to us saying bad things about the picky runts who will settle for no less than dikembe mutumbo as a boyfriend.

[greywolf]

You certainly do not know what you're talking about. I have visited or lived in France, Italy, Russia, Argentina, Spain, Poland, and other countries, and let me tell you what, the men in these countries have a much less forgiving definition of fat than American and Canadian men do. The women the average Argentinian or French man considers to be fat would be considered very average (and on the low side of average)! Obesity is really only an epidemic in Anglophone countries, not so much in other parts of Europe.

 

I've been to countries in Central America and women with curves are considered more attractive than our stick-thin ideal of beauty.

[diabolik]

You certainly do not know what you're talking about. I have visited or lived in France, Italy, Russia, Argentina, Spain, Poland, and other countries, and let me tell you what, the men in these countries have a much less forgiving definition of fat than American and Canadian men do. The women the average Argentinian or French man considers to be fat would be considered very average (and on the low side of average)! Obesity is really only an epidemic in Anglophone countries, not so much in other parts of Europe.

Having lived in or travelled to Western and Eastern Europe, South and East Asia, and Australia, I think it's pretty safe to say the guys there would not be impressed by the average weight American woman. OK, the Brits maybe, but that's b/c they're almost as plump as we are.

 

There must be guys from these other countries on ENA who have visited America. What say you all? What do you think of the average American woman (and no, NYC does not count)?

[servedcold]

OK first, that weightlifter has a -perfect- face, and that helps lots.

 

Second, as far as other countries and bellydancers go, yes, they like curves, Heidi Klum curves though, not flappy armed, overhanging gut, rolls down the sides, no waist curves, and that's what guys are talking about here, not bellydancers. It's all about waist hip ratio, proven time and time again. Of course there are limited cultural variations, but by and large the standards are similar.

 

These threads on women and weight always degenerate into the "stick thin" american ideal (which is a myth that people use to justify their sedentary lifestyles by and large) v more voluptuous women, and the analogy is disingenuous because the guys are generally talking about significant obesity being unattractive, and it is in both sexes. There are lots of points on the line between "stick thin" and "morbidly obese," but to hear some POVs here, there are only the extremes.

[tiredofvampires]

You certainly do not know what you're talking about.

 

I've seen what I've seen, and you've seen what you've seen.

 

To repeat what I said, being morbidly obese is not what I'm talking about. There are a few cultures that prize that, (including here, in the Pacific Islands), because it symbolizes aristocracy and fertility.

 

Outside of that, men generally around the world don't like frank obesity, but they do like "meat on the bones", some fat on the tummy, some girth in the hips, some squish on the tush, and they certainly don't look at cut deltoids, washboard abs and quads for a "ripped" look. What looks chunky, soft or "out-of-shape" here looks very appealing to men elsewhere.

[Sparkly Eyes]

 

yes it is comparable. I've seen chunky guys with some good looking size 0 women provided they are tall and their fat is mixed with some muscle. I think that a fat strong guy who towers over them is more attractive to women than a slim athletic guy who is only somewhat bigger than them. An overweight man (a trait that is less punished in men than it is in women) looking for a size 0 woman is exactly the same as a 5'0 woman looking for a 6'2 man. If the women here who are all tall obsessed I can bet, want to say bad things about the picky fat guy, they better be open to us saying bad things about the picky runts who will settle for no less than dikembe mutumbo as a boyfriend.

 

Size 0? are you serious?

image removed

 

is this considered attractive to you? Well good luck! To be perfectly honest among all the guys I know just one of them would like a thin girl like this. All of the rest say they like woman with curves.

[dragon lady]

Aussie men are some of the worst. I can vouch for that. I've found American men to be far less discriminating on average. I'm not sure about other places. I haven't spent enough time anywhere else to be able to say.

[diabolik]

Second, as far as other countries and bellydancers go, yes, they like curves, Heidi Klum curves though, not flappy armed, overhanging gut, rolls down the sides, no waist curves, and that's what guys are talking about here, not bellydancers. It's all about waist hip ratio, proven time and time again. Of course there are limited cultural variations, but by and large the standards are similar.

 

These threads on women and weight always degenerate into the "stick thin" american ideal (which is a myth that people use to justify their sedentary lifestyles by and large) v more voluptuous women, and the analogy is disingenuous because the guys are generally talking about significant obesity being unattractive, and it is in both sexes. There are lots of points on the line between "stick thin" and "morbidly obese," but to hear some POVs here, there are only the extremes.

Yep, this happens in every single one of these threads, which is why I resisted joining this one for as long as I did. The guys' comments are always construed to mean that we want stick thin women, and that the women would prefer to have a 'few extra pounds' rather than be unhealthily skinny. No matter how many times we try to cut off the legs of that strawman argument, they just grow back.

 

Outside of that, men generally around the world don't like frank obesity, but they do like "meat on the bones", some fat on the tummy, some girth in the hips, some squish on the tush, and they certainly don't look at cut deltoids, washboard abs and quads for a "ripped" look. What looks chunky, soft or "out-of-shape" here looks very appealing to men elsewhere.

TOV, I have a lot of respect for you, but let's call a spade a spade. The average Walmart woman does not look anything remotely like a belly dancer.

[tiredofvampires]

Second, as far as other countries and bellydancers go, yes, they like curves, Heidi Klum curves though

 

Is this what you mean by "curves"? This is Heidi Klum:

 

image removed

 

When I say "curves" (appreciated in other countries) I mean this, and this would be considered overweight (this thread title uses the broad term "overweight", not "obesity") in the U.S., so I am addressing myself to that. I believe these are the kinds of girls who would be implied in this thread as having a harder time dating, according to the male "preferences" I read about on ENA, short of morbid obesity:

 

image removed

 

image removed

 

Correct me if I'm wrong, guys.

[Sparkly Eyes]

the only curve heidi has is her fake boobs. Yes, guys here prefer fake girls! Very very rarely a thin girl would have bigger boobs naturally.

[ragdoll18]

You are making way too many assumptions. I never said that I was not at a healthy weight or bmi, I just said that there are people who look at me and still think that I'm overweight or out of shape because of the way I look. Even though I am at both a healthy weight and bmi, I'm still at the higher end of it. BMI is missing two very important things MUSCLE and FRAME. We all know that muscle weighs more than fat but bmi does not measure that. Compare my wrist to my bestfriends and it's much bigger, so combine that with me having more muscle and a very large chest and of course I'm going to weigh more than her. She has several health problems and gets sick at least a few times a year. I never have health problems, never had anything more serious than the common cold, and I haven't been sick in 3 years. The only point I was trying to make is that a skinny person is not always healthy and someone who looks overweight is not always unhealthy. Personally I could really care less if a guy only dates skinny women, or if a guy won't even give me a chance because he looks at me and thinks I'm overweight.