Guys and their Image : Overweight women

[ghost69]

He could call her ugly, unattractive, or w/e and it'd be no nicer, nor no meaner. Kelly will survive, and it's not really the focus of this thread anyways.

 

thanks tyler.

 

[rant] So what terms are acceptable? Can anyone be called fat? Is Pierce Brosnan's wife fat? Or should we say BBW? Should we strike obese from the medical dictionary and replace it with SBBW?

 

This has become such a PC thing, that I've got to be very careful not to offend anyone's sensibilities, no matter how fragile those sensibilities may be. We have become a nation of mental wimps. [/rant]

 

BBW is offensive too.

 

we need to put all offensive words in a book of words not allowed to be said about something. we will end up with the[/b]

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

Here is a little lesson on being PC... not so much PC but a compassionate of others feelings.

 

I could say:

 

I don't like short, muscle head frat boys who spend hours in the gym -

 

instead i can say:

 

I prefer to date men who are taller then me... and aren't too muscular.

 

its two ways of saying the same thing... one says... this is what i like without insulting someone the other is just downright cruel and causes hurt feelings.

 

Having your preferences but be kind to others.

[ghost69]

i will still use that F word. sorry

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

i will still use that F word. sorry

 

do whatever you want but don't expect people to look at you and think you are nice person- they may not say it to your face...but in their heads they are thinking... "wow what a jerk"

 

its just not cool ghost... and i'm pretty sure if you struggled with something in regards to your physical appearance you would be more compassionate.

 

people gain and lose weight for many many reasons and its not always about "self control" if it was .. there would be a lot less heavy set people in the world.

 

telling an overweight person to buck it up and lose weight is like telling someone with bipolar or manic depression to just "get over it"

 

its not that easy.

 

i really wish you would reconsider your views- you never know where your path in life is going to take you- and i would hate for your own personal vain judgments in regards others be the ruler in which you measure your own worth.

[g84]

I never really used/liked the word 'fat' either, if i hear others using it, it makes me think of someone describing just a piece of meat or something. :S

[ghost69]

i used to be called the skinny kid, twig, etc. i changed that and started working out. the names bugged me when i was younger, but i don't let really anything get to me anymore.

[pinkelephant]

it's always the previous bullied ones that are always so insensitive. it's like, they're out to repay the world.

[ghost69]

it's always the previous bullied ones that are always so insensitive. it's like, they're out to repay the world.

 

i wasn't bullied, but i was called names. so what?

 

i said someone looks fat. omg call the police. i would never tell a girl to her face that i think she's fat. so, yeah, guess i'm insensitive.

 

and for the record, i only said kelly clarkson looks fat. i'm sure she just read this thread and is devastated and won't sing now. sry kelly.

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

i used to be called the skinny kid, twig, etc. i changed that and started working out. the names bugged me when i was younger, but i don't let really anything get to me anymore.

 

well imagine you tried really hard to bulk up but it just wasn't happening- and then you hear woman/girls say ... 'i don't like skinny scrawny guys- ewww gross... lift weights or something .. i mean really! what is wrong with them!!"

 

wouldn't that get to you? wouldn't you think hey f you man i'm trying!

 

your self esteem would suffer- you would suffer... and it wouldn't be from lack of trying.

 

A lot of heavy people DO try to diet ...but just can't seem to make it work for them.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

Kelly Clarkson has been called fat for her past 7 years in the spotlight at least.

You're not the first, nor the last. She was called fat even when she was much lower in weight. That's her thing. She's one of those girls who looks fat whether she is or isn't overweight.

[Sparkly Eyes]

Who the f cares? ghost is not the only guy out there, and I am sure kelly has her guy fans. Some one ghost like might be too skinny to another guy.

[pinkelephant]

i wasn't bullied, but i was called names. so what?

 

i said someone looks fat. omg call the police. i would never tell a girl to her face that i think she's fat. so, yeah, guess i'm insensitive.

 

and for the record, i only said kelly clarkson looks fat. i'm sure she just read this thread and is devastated and won't sing now. sry kelly.

 

loll no, it's just a sensitivity issue. if those things don't get to you, fine. but there's such a thing as compassion. if it hurts other people's feelings then, i'd try and be sensitive to that. i mean, it's not like we're asking for censorship, here.

[pinkelephant]

Kelly Clarkson has been called fat for her past 7 years in the spotlight at least.

You're not the first, nor the last. She was called fat even when she was much lower in weight. That's her thing. She's one of those girls who looks fat whether she is or isn't overweight.

 

she's always been out of shape though. i like that about her. i also like how she has like no boobs, but doesn't opt for plastic surgery. everyone looks the same in hollywood.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

She was her lowest weight publicly on Idol and it was a decent weight. Seems like she gained a lot since then, but whatever. Still sings better than most and makes more money than us. FTW.

 

Looks good here, though.

image removed

[ragdoll18]

I know I'm a little late to this thread but I just wanted to put my 2 cents out there. Yes there are some guys who would not date a girl because of what their friends think, and I think it's sad that someone would ditch a person that they really care about because of what some other people think. I've had a few people make comments about the guy that I'm seeing now because of his size and hairiness, but I just tell them that to me he's extremely sexy and that's all that matters. In my experience some of the most miserable people I've met have been the ones that live their lives based on what other people think and not what they think.

 

What annoys me is that skinny=healthy and overweight=out of shape and unhealthy. The world is never this cut and dry and people tend to forget this. I really am not much skinner than Kelly Clarkson, yet I run 3 miles 6 days a week, lift weights, and eat healthy most of the time. There are a lot of people who would probably consider me overweight, but if I was really any skinnier then I wouldn't be healthy. I also know plenty of skinny people that are not healthy. My best friend is 5'8 weighs 125 lbs and has a model body. She'll tell you herself that she lives off of junk food and is allergic to exercise.

 

I am no way offended by guys who are physically attracted to only skinny girls. This is just someone's personal preference and I have found that there are plenty of guys out there who prefer a girl with a little more weight on her.

[ghost69]

well imagine you tried really hard to bulk up but it just wasn't happening- and then you hear woman/girls say ... 'i don't like skinny scrawny guys- ewww gross... lift weights or something .. i mean really! what is wrong with them!!"

 

wouldn't that get to you? wouldn't you think hey f you man i'm trying!

 

your self esteem would suffer- you would suffer... and it wouldn't be from lack of trying.

 

A lot of heavy people DO try to diet ...but just can't seem to make it work for them.

 

like i said, i don't let what people say get to me anymore. i changed that when i was like 13. waaaaay before i got into working out and adding size. i have some twig friends. they joke on me about certain things and i joke on them. then we all go home and cry ourselves to sleep when noone is around.

 

Who the f cares? ghost is not the only guy out there, and I am sure kelly has her guy fans. Some one ghost like might be too skinny to another guy.

 

for realz.

 

loll no, it's just a sensitivity issue. if those things don't get to you, fine. but there's such a thing as compassion. if it hurts other people's feelings then, i'd try and be sensitive to that. i mean, it's not like we're asking for censorship, here.

 

a sensitivity issue? did you read the part when i don't say things like that to a girl directly to her? if she asked what i thought, yes, i'd say she could stand to lose some weight. and you know what, some girls will get bent, and some girls will be turned on by my honesty. u think i will sugarcoat everything? no way. i'm blunt. i'm built to speak my mind and will do.

 

and so i'm muscular, some girls don't like it. some girls think i'm too big with my build, some, not big enough. and? i think people that associate words with their feelings like that need to do some soul searching. especially if a complete stranger has a different preference than them. i use fat as a descriptive term. if people use it to mean a put down, not my fault.

[Kristallnacht]

OK ragdoll but just because something is easy for someone else doesn't mean you shouldn't try to be your best.

 

I say this as someone who used to be overweight as a boy and now I am slim and in decent shape (especially compared to my college student peers).

 

How did I do it? Simple. By eating only when I was hungry, instead of eating every time I got depressed/was bored/etc. Also not getting the biggest portions at Burger King help greatly, for example, getting the medium fries instead of the king sized fries. I haven't even radically changed my diet . The biggest thing though, was laying off the soft drinks. You will be surprised at how fast the pounds melt off as soon as you stop drinking coke and other sugary soft drinks, replace them with water (and you will feel good too, by the way). A person who is overweight should not be hated or belittled, but they shouldn't be praised either. Being very overweight is the equivalent of being addicted to drugs, it shows a strong lack of discipline and respect for your body.

 

Your situation of not being as attractive to men as you'd like is totally in your hands. Lose weight and you will be more attractive. I wish it was THAT simple for me, as a guy who is shorter than the average, NOTHING I do can make me more attractive to women. So be grateful that your issue and barrier is something that is completely in your hands.

[rocio]

Some people are bigger than others. Who cares? Seriously.

 

Some people have more education than others. I'm not going to go up to someone with a B.A. and say, "C'mon, if you just would have worked a bit harder, you could have had a Masters. I did it. Why couldn't you? You must be lacking in motivation. You should try harder."

 

I'm not going to go up to someone who doesn't have a boyfriend and go, "you know, you should really have a boyfriend by now. I have one. Why don't you? You just have to try harder. You're not putting enough effort it."

 

People have different priorities. Some people would like to spend all of their spare time at the gym. Honestly, I feel kinda bad for those people because that would not be a fulfilling life for me. Other people choose to make their loved ones a priority, and spend the bulk of their free time with the partner and family. Others choose to spend their time pursuing education, or knowledge. So what? We make different choices.

 

Be careful about convincing yourself that you know what kinds of priorities should be important to other people. You will not have the last laugh, guaranteed.

[ghost69]

that hurt my feelings UMA as i'm not exclusive with anybody.

[Kristallnacht]

This is all fine and dandy, but what if the person with the B.A. is constantly complaining that people (employers in their field for example) discriminate him or her because they don't have their Masters? Wouldn't you tell them to go ahead and just get it ?

 

Well this is the same thing with overweight women. They complain all the time that handsome men don't like them because they are overweight. Being overweight is something, unless you are one of the very tiny minority of people with a condition, that is completely up to the individual and a question of discipline.

 

So yeah, live and let live. But don't complain about not having something you could easily have with even half of a will. The only people who should complain about not being attractive to the opposite sex are people with problems that they cannot fix (shorter men, working class men, disabled people, etc).

[rocio]

that hurt my feelings UMA as i'm not exclusive with anybody.

 

Well c'mon, get on that buddy. You're slipping behind the rest of us. Go go go!

 

 

[rocio]

Admittedly, I have not read through all of the posts in this thread. But I didn't realise that was the topic here. It seemed to me that it was about certain men allowing themselves to be bullied or intimidated into going for thinner girls, instead of going for what attracts them.

[Jelina]

You mean all that sex I used to get was because they pitied me? Dang....

 

Lmao, omg your so funny.

[ragdoll18]

I used to be morbidly obese and lost 120lbs, which I have said several times on this forum. I also have a very well endowed chest which makes me look heavier than I am and adds about an additional 10 lbs. I am down to a very healthy weight that I am happy with, yet there are plenty of people who would probably look at me and think I was overweight and out of shape. I do have some loose skin from the huge weight loss which I understand contributes to people thinking this. But that's fine because I don't live my life based off of what strangers think of me. What I was trying to say is things are not always black and white, skinny is not always healthy and overweight is not always unhealthy. There were times while I was losing weight that I was still overweight, but because I was working out and eating healthy I was actually very healthy and probably healthier than a lot of skinny people.

 

Under_my_ambrella, I agree with everything that you said. I spent so much time obsessed with working out and every little detail that I ate, and I'm done with that, there's so much more to life.

[Kristallnacht]

Admittedly, I have not read through all of the posts in this thread. But I didn't realise that was the topic here. It seemed to me that it was about certain men allowing themselves to be bullied or intimidated into going for thinner girls, instead of going for what attracts them.

 

This is really wishful thinking.

 

While it's true that once in a while a guy will sleep with an overweight girl, it's not what we aim for in having a relationship. Not to mention that there is a line between a "curvy" because of maybe somewhat bigger bones, and a woman who is all rolls.

 

I personally don't know any men who go by what the media or "bullies" tell them to go after. Most men go after what they themselves like, regardless of what everyone else says. The phenomenon of being influenced by television and society affects women more than it does men in my opinion.

 

Men don't find fat girls attractive, because they are not physically attractive generally speaking. Especially when the fat is concentrated in the face.

 

 

I used to be morbidly obese and lost 120lbs, which I have said several times on this forum. I also have a very well endowed chest which makes me look heavier than I am and adds about an additional 10 lbs. I am down to a very healthy weight that I am happy with, yet there are plenty of people who would probably look at me and think I was overweight and out of shape. I do have some loose skin from the huge weight loss which I understand contributes to people thinking this. But that's fine because I don't live my life based off of what strangers think of me. What I was trying to say is things are not always black and white, skinny is not always healthy and overweight is not always unhealthy. There were times while I was losing weight that I was still overweight, but because I was working out and eating healthy I was actually very healthy and probably healthier than a lot of skinny people.[/Quote]

 

More wishful thinking that fat people tell themselves. While it's commendable that you lost so much, it doesn't mean you should stop now, you still can lose more until you are at a healthy BMI.

 

Sorry nobody overweight can be "healthier" than a thin person, when judging just weight. Of course you are healthier than the meth smoker thin person, but not the average thin person. For every pound of fat you are that much more likely to suffer from a whole long list of life-threatening diseases this is a scientific fact.

 

Note I'm not some health nut, but if women here really feel unattractive to men because of their weight, they should shutup and lose the weight. Be thankful that your aesthetic problem is something completely in your control. If it wasn't (speaking as a former fat person myself), I wouldn't be speaking in such a in your face tone.