Guys and their Image : Overweight women

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

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You have no right- and i mean NO RIGHT to speak to anyone who has lost well over 100 lbs and tell them HOW to lose weight - when your idea of a of a weight loss program is to not "super size" your burger king value meal. You have some serious serious readjusting to do in your own personal eating habits.

 

Losing over 100lbs naturally due to diet and exercise is an ENORMOUS accomplishment and if the poster is happy with herself then who are you to come along and tell them - they aren't "good enough" based on your own standards.

[tiredofvampires]

I'm kind of late to this thread, and have not read most of it, so apologies.

 

I'd like to offer my 2-bit thoughts anyway.

 

I see both sides of the "fat" (semantics) controversy. On one hand, I believe in being straightforward and blunt, and calling it like it is. Whatever the issue/word/subject happens to be. I wouldn't totally eradicate the word "fat" from my vocabulary as a descriptor, but on the other hand, I feel a vague meaness surfacing in the use of it. It brings with it certain derogatory mindsets and connotations, which have hurt people.

 

I would compare it to the word "crazy." Yeah, someone might be "crazy" but it's really not kind to refer to people with mental and emotional problems as "crazy." It's just stigmatizing.

 

And so even if something might be true, it doesn't mean you have to use the most stigmatizing word for it. What purpose does that serve, how does that serve YOU, when it hurts other people? If it hurts some people, what skin is it off my behind to use less harsh and ugly words for the same thing?

 

I say if someone is upset by something, and I am neither doing them any good by saying it, or benefiting myself, why not just take the less upsetting of the words I could use?

 

I know this is a peripheral part of the discussion, and pardon me if it's moved on from this point, I just wanted to say.

 

I also don't think people are really in a position to know what are all the factors of someone else's excessive weight. You don't ever know how much a person has tried dieting and exercising, how much they battle food addiction (which is as bad as drinking too much, which some on this thread probably do, even though they look great), how their metabolism works, or how much their bone structure plays into it.

 

I have great sympathy for overweight people. True, some don't try, and so it's harder to have sympathy for someone who just doesn't want to make any effort. That's true of any human problem though, it's not just weight. It makes me sad though to see that weight being such a visible issue, and such a value in our culture, someone will be judged much more harshly for this particular "weakness" than some other.

 

I'll never forget the interview I once saw with CC Deville, the guitarist of Poison, several years post band breakup. He had a terrible coke addiction while he was at his height of fame -- he had a pretty good body, though it became a bit gaunt from the drugs. He had all sorts of women and adulation. Then he kicked the drugs and ballooned out, and said that he was shamed far more by people when he was sober and clean, but overweight, than when he was a drug-crazed, boozing lowlife. His appeal after cleaning up his life, even though he was overweight, plummeted.

 

What a world we live in.

[Jelina]

Just wondering........how do you guys feel about an overweight person not wanting to go out with another overweight person? I don't know if that came up here already. That really bugs me. I know a man that weighs about 300lbs and all he does is make fun of overweight women.

[ghost69]

Just wondering........how do you guys feel about an overweight person not wanting to go out with another overweight person? I don't know if that came up here already. That really bugs me. I know a man that weighs about 300lbs and all he does is make fun of overweight women.

 

that's his preference.

[metrogirl]

Just wondering........how do you guys feel about an overweight person not wanting to go out with another overweight person? I don't know if that came up here already. That really bugs me. I know a man that weighs about 300lbs and all he does is make fun of overweight women.

 

I know someone like this........he's a tad over 300 lbs, big belly.

 

"I won't date a fat broad"......

 

Okay slim!

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

He's just making fun of fat women because he is likely ashamed of being obese himself.

I doubt many thin women would go out with a fat man hating on fat women.

[Jelina]

that's his preference.

 

I find that to be wrong. It's like someone who didn't finish highschool not wanting to go out with anyone unless they graduated from an ivy league school. It shows insecurity and makes it seem like if the only way that he/she will be happy with themself is by getting something that they know they will never be. Like ugly rich men who have trophy wives.

[ghost69]

He's just making fun of fat women because he is likely ashamed of being obese himself.

I doubt many thin women would go out with a fat man hating on fat women.

 

you'd be surprised what women say about other women.

[ProtestTheHero]

Yeah, if the individual is happy with their weight, it's obviously no one else's business unless that person asks whether or not their weight takes away from their looks. No random male should care to see a random overweight person because it doesn't really affect you. It is, after all, THEIR life...and if they are happy with their life then that's that. If you are not happy though, it's more productive to work on your weight than to lament the standards held by a majority of people.

 

Jelina, that is obviously a little hypocritical of that guy. I'd just laugh. If other women choose to date him, though, I suppose the blame is on them.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

you'd be surprised what women say about other women.

 

Oh I know this is true, but don't you think if a woman were fit and bashing overweight women she likely wouldn't want an overweight man?

[ghost69]

I find that to be wrong. It's like someone who didn't finish highschool not wanting to go out with anyone unless they graduated from an ivy league school. It shows insecurity and makes it seem like if the only way that he/she will be happy with themself is by getting something that they know they will never be. Like ugly rich men who have trophy wives.

 

i can't explain it. i don't worry too much about what other people think. i don't let it bother me. i'm secure in who i am to not allow that. most everyone should be no matter their shape or size or what someone says about them. the only people that really affect me are my closest friends and my family.

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

I know someone like this........he's a tad over 300 lbs, big belly.

 

"I won't date a fat broad"......

 

Okay slim!

 

there was a guy in my high school that was fat and flabby his gut would hang over his belt and he always had plumbers crack ...because his pants didn't fit right he was a sweaty loud mouthed fool that would wear a t-shirt that said "no fat chicks" - i always thought to myself when i saw him... you fool.

 

i wish i could have an over inflated ego like that.

 

that would be like richard simmons wearing a t-shirt that said "no gays".

[ghost69]

Oh I know this is true, but don't you think if a woman were fit and bashing overweight women she likely wouldn't want an overweight man?

 

not always no.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

not always no.

 

Got it.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

there was a guy in my high school that was fat and flabby his gut would hang over his belt and he always had plumbers crack ...because his pants didn't fit right he was a sweaty loud mouthed fool that would wear a t-shirt that said "no fat chicks" - i always thought to myself when i saw him... you fool.

 

i wish i could have an over inflated ego like that.

 

that would be like richard simmons wearing a t-shirt that said "no gays".

 

LOL!!!!!

 

Or like Richard Simmons being a fitness instructor... haha

He's flabby himself!

[ProtestTheHero]

If we removed hypocrisy from the world I'd be the only one left in this state. It is what it is, and if women take guys like that then they're makin their own bed in filth and it's their problem, lol.

[Pegasus]

Just wondering........how do you guys feel about an overweight person not wanting to go out with another overweight person? I don't know if that came up here already. That really bugs me. I know a man that weighs about 300lbs and all he does is make fun of overweight women.

 

I would call that person unrealistic. If you have major unattractiveness, your only option is to go for unattractive SO. There are cases when one unattractive person dates attractive person but if we exclude all money and fame related cases - I would say there is a very small number of those.

 

But seems that being realistic for some people in this thread is offending.

 

If you are fat - your dating pool is smaller; If you don't have university degree - your employment options are smaller...

 

It's just the way it works in this world. It does not have anything to do with what people want or deserve or with being fair and definitely has nothing to be delusional like some people in this thread who say that fat is attractive.

[metrogirl]

I would call that person unrealistic. If you have major unattractiveness, your only option is to go for unattractive SO. There are cases when one unattractive person dates attractive person but if we exclude all money and fame related cases - I would say there is a very small number of those.

 

But seems that being realistic for some people in this thread is offending.

 

If you are fat - your dating pool is smaller; If you don't have university degree - your employment options are smaller...

 

It's just the way it works in this world. It does not have anything to do with what people want or deserve or with being fair and definitely has nothing to be delusional like some people in this thread who say that fat is attractive.

 

 

Two of my best friend are big, actually one is really big. They get more action than I could ever hope to get and not from any random men but attractive, educated, employed men. They aren't starving for a man's attention by any means. Actually one of the guys that my friend was dating was a total gym rat, hot hot hot, a gorgeous body, so in essence he probably could have had any hot girl around but he likes the bigger ones and he gets them.

[g84]

Just wondering........how do you guys feel about an overweight person not wanting to go out with another overweight person? I don't know if that came up here already. That really bugs me. I know a man that weighs about 300lbs and all he does is make fun of overweight women.

 

Yes i would find this messed up too. With an attitude like this, making fun of others -he's only making himself look very low.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

I just thought of an interesting point. Though there is extreme pressure on women to be in shape (made obvious by the dozens of threads on here lately beating this issue to a bloody pulp) there is nowhere near the amount of pressure on men to be in shape.

 

We know this, but interestingly women have a life expectancy several years longer than men in our society. Maybe all of the name calling and obsession over weight pays off with a longer life.

 

lol

While fat men keep stuffing their face without much thought or pressure, they're going to die a lot sooner than women.

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

I would call that person unrealistic. If you have major unattractiveness, your only option is to go for unattractive SO. There are cases when one unattractive person dates attractive person but if we exclude all money and fame related cases - I would say there is a very small number of those.

 

But seems that being realistic for some people in this thread is offending.

 

If you are fat - your dating pool is smaller; If you don't have university degree - your employment options are smaller...

 

It's just the way it works in this world. It does not have anything to do with what people want or deserve or with being fair and definitely has nothing to be delusional like some people in this thread who say that fat is attractive.

 

Just notice... the person who doesn't have a degree.. isn't "uneducated" or "stupid" they just don't have a "university degree" but if someone has weight on them .. they are "fat".

 

Thanks for proving my point dude.

[metrogirl]

I just thought of an interesting point. Though there is extreme pressure on women to be in shape (made obvious by the dozens of threads on here lately beating this issue to a bloody pulp) there is nowhere near the amount of pressure on men to be in shape.

 

We know this, but interestingly women have a life expectancy several years longer than men in our society. Maybe all of the name calling and obsession over weight pays off with a longer life.

 

lol

While fat men keep stuffing their face without much thought or pressure, they're going to die a lot sooner than women.[/QUOTE]

 

Then they won't have to listen to the men talk poo any more.....LOL

[Pegasus]

Two of my best friend are big, actually one is really big. They get more action than I could ever hope to get and not from any random men but attractive, educated, employed men.

 

If by "action" you mean sex (is any of them in LTR or married?) then it's pretty clear - men with low self-esteem go for such women because they are generally easier targets than hot chicks. I did that in the past and I am also attractive, fit, educated, employed etc etc etc....

 

 

Just notice... the person who doesn't have a degree.. isn't "uneducated" or "stupid" they just don't have a "university degree" but if someone has weight on them .. they are "fat".

 

Person who does not have a degree - in my opinion - IS uneducated. I work as team leader in huge US company and would never employ person without degree in my team even if they were "street smart" as some people would like to point out. Being educated is achievement - being fit is also achievement. Achievement is something that is appreciated in this world.

[ProtestTheHero]

I just thought of an interesting point. Though there is extreme pressure on women to be in shape (made obvious by the dozens of threads on here lately beating this issue to a bloody pulp) there is nowhere near the amount of pressure on men to be in shape.

 

We know this, but interestingly women have a life expectancy several years longer than men in our society. Maybe all of the name calling and obsession over weight pays off with a longer life.

 

lol

While fat men keep stuffing their face without much thought or pressure, they're going to die a lot sooner than women.

 

I'm not trying to be a total ass here, but if you don't think there's pressure on men to look good, then you aren't looking very far or hard. The pressures might be different in nature, but they are certainly there.

 

Just notice... the person who doesn't have a degree.. isn't "uneducated" or "stupid" they just don't have a "university degree" but if someone has weight on them .. they are "fat".

 

Thanks for proving my point dude.

 

It's the same idea, but now you're focusing on the PC nature of the phrases? The nature of phrases is not as relevant as the real situations that these people will deal with in his scenario. I think being "nice" is a separate argument.

[metrogirl]

If by "action" you mean sex (is any of them in LTR or married?) then it's pretty clear - men with low self-esteem go for such women because they are generally easier targets than hot chicks. I did that in the past and I am also attractive, fit, educated, employed etc etc etc....

 

Hmmm..... So all the men that my two overweight friends date all have low self esteem? Interesting....

 

So basically, only the hot should hook up with the hot and the rest of us should just be put out to pasture.