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Disagreement with Sister in law


SamiJayne

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I was explaining to my sister in law, about the house we put an offer on for. And that it's a 3bedroom, and its in the catchment of the best highschool in our town.

 

And I commented on how we won't get to use that benifit, as we will move after 4-6years.

 

It's a 3 bedroom... SO obviously my partner and I will have one room, our baby is due octorber, so that will have its own room. And the spare room, since its a small house will be where our pc's and gaming equipment go. Yes we're geeks...

 

She said oh you can buy bunk beds... And shove them in together the children. I said that I wouldn't want that as I don't plan on having another baby until this baby will be 3+ and then we'd have to get a new house. As the baby will need its own room. As a baby and a toddler in the same room... not my cup of tea.

 

She then said , I had my boys in my room. I had to bite my tongue, as she's had her youngest boy now 11 in her room since he was born. He never left her room. Refused to have his own room, or share with his brothers.

 

I refuse to make that mistake. And I rather the baby get used to being in a room by itself from the start. Rather than changing the routine half way through. I also said Stephen (my partner) has work, and the baby being in our room would wake him up. And she said "no it wouldn't it never woke your brother up"

 

I go the bathroom several times a night... it wakes my partner up. A baby screaming in the same room, and then me getting out of bed would wake my partner up.

 

Am I being a bit cold? wanting my baby to be in its own room at night?

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Having your baby in your room for the first couple of months will make it easier for you. Especially at feeding times, if you are breast feeding. Do what you feel is best. When your new baby arrives into the world you may not want to have it in a separate room, you may want it with you in your room.

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My baby is 11 weeks old today and he is doing wonderfully sleeping in his own room. But we have a routine and we stick with it. He did sleep with us for the first 5 weeks. We had a bassinet that he slept in beside the bed.

 

But at 6 weeks, I had to go back to work so we came up with our "routine". In the evening he gets his bath, a warm bottle and then he gets put into his crib. when he naps during the day, it is NOT in his crib. We'll put him on the sofa, our bed, anywhere else, so that he knows his crib means "long sleep" and he will sleep for 5 to 8 hours in his crib at a time. Also, if we do the above routine and he is still awake, we put him in his crib awake and he will go to sleep on his own. He is still very young, so we have fussy moments at times, lol...most of the time, he does great.

 

for me, it was easier to have him with me at first, so he stayed in our room. But we also want him to be able to fall asleep on his own and stay asleep for long periods of time, so we came up the bedtime routine.

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I was a little upset over what my sister in law had said. So I talked to my partners mother. And she agreed with me, she preferred to have the baby in its own room. Even when it was born.

 

So I feel a bit more reasurred I'm thinking the right thing =D

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You will receive lots of advice on parenting, much of it unsolicited. People like to share the benefit of their experience, you always have the choice to take it or leave it. Personally, I wouldn't dismiss anyone straight off, it's always good to keep an open mind and your feelings may change overtime. Appreciate that someone is willing to offer you advice but ultimately go with what works for you.

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You both have the right to make different choices. You both need to respect the others choices. It isn't about who's right.

 

And besides, you're talking about something that is YEARS away- why get upset about it.

 

All you had to say was "Hmm, I hadn't thought about that possibility. Well, we'll see what happens" then do what you want...

 

But by arguing with her about the logic of what she has chosen to do, you inadvertently judge her, and her choices. Some people insist that others accept their way, or it's an automatic insinuation that their way is wrong, and thus needs defending...

 

The easiest thing to do, especially when it's hypothetical, is to say "I could consider that" and let the matter drop.

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