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Obsessive behavior...advice?


anya85

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So I've been talking to this guy for about two weeks online. He seemed really nice--though a little overeager. He wants to talk near-constantly, showers me with complements, agrees with everything I say--pretty much, the guy acts like I'm the best thing since sliced bread. Then he found my myspace page and added me as a friend and since then he's posted *four* comments on my page in the past four days, ---stuff like "thinking of you", "you're a cutie", "you're stunning", "hey beautiful". He posts on all of my pictures too and has changed his status to "___ had so much fun hanging out with (me) the other day!!!". blah blah blah. He expects to talk online every minute that I'm home--he's said stuff like "I'm not talking to anyone else now that I've found you."

 

He kept asking me to meet him--but he lives over an hour away. Keep in mind that I agreed to meet him *before* most of this other stuff came up. I had figured intially that I'd at least meet the guy and see how that went. So I did, he drove all the way here, we went out. He was very nice--but there's just no chemistry between us. Then he tells me on the date that he told his mom all about me and all the people at work.

 

But really now, I mean even if I had really liked him--I'm talking to like 10 other dudes right now, many that I've been talking too much longer than him--I'm not at a point to just drop everything after 1 date and I'm really surprised anyone would think that. He acts almost like he thinks I'm his girlfriend--after speaking to him for *two weeks* and meeting 1 single time. While his behavior is creepy--I don't think badly of him. I honestly don't think he's a bad person or had bad stalkerish intentions--he's just way too excited and has jumped the gun here. I've never been in this situation before--advice? No, he doesn't know where I live and doesn't have my phone #.

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Yea cut him out...

 

Did he search for you on myspace? I do that to people but I don't add them without them telling me they have a profile first. That's just weird...stalkers don't identify themselves as stalkers haha.

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Like Annie said, just tell him you really get on with him but you don't feel a spark. If he lives far away then it's not like you have to worry about seeing him all the time - if he gets funny about it then you don't really have to bother with him again, you're not likely to bump into him on the street.

 

 

And gosh, he sounds like a lovesick puppy! Advise him to man up a little

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Gosh, he does sound a little over the top, bordering on creepy. I'd be honest, tell him you just don't see you two ever getting together (no spark for you) and that you think it's best to go your separate ways. Then make sure to cut all contact.

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Very similar to an experience I had. After two dates I was honest with him about the lack of chemistry. He thanked me profusely for being honest, then sent me 5 increasingly angry/bizarre emails the next morning. The 6th email apologized and asked if we could be friends. I wish I had not gone on the second date! I agree with the others.

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I had a similar experience as well. A guy I met online. He wasn't quite as stalker-ish as yours but he wanted a lot of my time and would bug me if I didn't give it to him. It really bothered me to the point it felt like a chore having to deal with him. I would end it. I told him honestly that I didn't want waste his time, that I didn't feel any chemistry between us and wished him good luck. I deleted him off my chat list and my phone. He was also polite about it and didn't bother me after that. Its just better to cut if off early as its clearly bothering you (or you wouldn't be posting here).

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Yeah, I just went ahead and cut this one loose before he gets any more attached. I fibbed a little bit though--and told him it was because of the distance(which is partially true, he lives 65 miles away--and I'm not really looking for long distance). He took it very well though, said he was disappointed, but that he understood and was happy to have made a new friend.

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