My heart went COLD, will passion come back?

[newlife21]

hi all, ( short review ) my bf was considering a break up with me last week, kinda ignored me for a week. i reasoned with him, he refused to talk. i gave up, he came back immediately.

 

after patching up, i was ok and passionate for about 3 days. after that, my heart felt cold. this had never happened before and it scares me. we broke up few time before, but patched up over a day , so actually cannot really be qualified as breakup, just fights. everytime, i am very happy when we patched up. this round, i feel something missing in my heart. i don't feel thrilled to see him, i don't know what is going on with me, i am scared.

 

he felt it too, asked me, i told him i think it was because he hurt me too much this round. he told me he loves me, can't live without me. usually i will feel touched, but i feel nothing these few days.

 

when he was mean to me, i was in so much pain i prayed to God to take away my feelings for him. i am now scared that God had answered my prayer... no no no, i want to love this man. has anyone gone through the same thing like this? please shed some light in my situation. will my feelings and passion come back? i am not seeing anyone else, i don't have the urge.

[Gratsy]

It can't be healthy if he keeps breaking up with you. Being alone is hard but it doesn't sound like you have a lot of options if he keepsmaking you miserable.

[SapphireNoir10]

You cant make yourself love someone. Maybe falling out of love is the right thing for you? Someone that hurts you x number of times, your going to end up not liking them or loving them very much. Sometimes love ends.

 

Or maybe you're just feeling hurt and betrayed and it will take time.

[SapphireNoir10]

You cant make yourself love someone. Maybe falling out of love is the right thing for you? Someone that hurts you x number of times, your going to end up not liking them or loving them very much. Sometimes love ends.

 

Or maybe you're just feeling hurt and betrayed and it will take time.

[1MoreChance]

 

he felt it too, asked me, i told him i think it was because he hurt me too much this round. he told me he loves me, can't live without me. usually i will feel touched, but i feel nothing these few days.

 

when he was mean to me, i was in so much pain i prayed to God to take away my feelings for him. i am now scared that God had answered my prayer... no no no, i want to love this man. has anyone gone through the same thing like this? please shed some light in my situation. will my feelings and passion come back?

 

Do you know the saying, "be careful what you wish for"? (or in your case "be careful what you pray for"). You thought that taking your feeling saway would solve the problem, but now you are in pain over not feleing passion and not wanting to be close to your bf.

 

If you prayed to God in this way, he must have been preeeetty mean. Is this what you want and deserve in life? maybe you both need to do some growing up and soul searching before you try to be together.

 

remember, you told him you think he just hurt you TOO MUCH. How about taking some time to reflect on the relationship? talk to him from the bottom of your heart (unless he is beyond talking to, ie abusive or permanently drunk or on drugs). tell him you need time. tell him you want to be happy and that you want to get real.

[annie24]

i can see why you've grown cold towards him. i mean, if he is on again/off again, i think you are sort of 'protecting yourself' from his distancing act. that makes total sense to me. why give your heart out to someone who alternates between wanting and not wanting it? i'd give it some time, see where things go. otherwise, cut your losses and move on.

[ragdoll18]

Yes this has happened to me. My ex tried to break up with me several times and I either talked him into staying, or he stayed out of guilt. There is a reason why your boyfriend keeps breaking up with you. He might push that aside for a little while but it'll come back and he'll keep doing this to you. I really wished I had realized much sooner that my relationship was over, and had the strength to leave.

[newlife21]

right now, i still have maybe 30% feeings for him, so i am pretending to act normal and see how things go.

 

i heard before that feelings come and go too, i was hoping to hear someone who had been thru this before and feelings do come back.

 

i had been through tons of happy times with him ( 3 years ). i want to be responsible and i do not want to give up. i also feel that if this relationship doesn't work out, i think i am done with relationship for the rest of my life. i was sooo sooo sooo in love with him before, if my passion for him could die, it could die with any other person too. i do not mind continuing with him even if i feel less.

 

i feel that he is mean to me ( my standard )when he is upset, i even hesitate if i should trust my future with him. he does not have the capability to consider my feelings when he is upset, he ignored me, will NOT pick up my calls ( very hurting to me, knowing this, i only called once, i do not pester ), he knew i was having mense and cramps and didn't care. i wonder if he would take care of me if i am sick when old. i realise i do not know the real him after all, and yes, i am scared.

 

but there is one thing i must praise him for: he doesn't use me. when we were making love, he could feel my heart was cold, and immediately he couldn't continue anymore. and he is nice to me during good times too. sorry i am babbling, i am confused...

[annie24]

i feel that he is mean to me ( my standard )when he is upset, i even hesitate if i should trust my future with him. he does not have the capability to consider my feelings when he is upset, he ignored me, will NOT pick up my calls ( very hurting to me, knowing this, i only called once, i do not pester ), he knew i was having mense and cramps and didn't care. i wonder if he would take care of me if i am sick when old. i realise i do not know the real him after all, and yes, i am scared.

 

does he really sound like good husband material?

[newlife21]

Yes this has happened to me. My ex tried to break up with me several times and I either talked him into staying, or he stayed out of guilt. There is a reason why your boyfriend keeps breaking up with you. He might push that aside for a little while but it'll come back and he'll keep doing this to you. I really wished I had realized much sooner that my relationship was over, and had the strength to leave.

 

hi, i knew what you meant. i didn't want to force him to stay with me, i hate chasing after him, so i told him i will let him go. but he came back immediately saying he realise he can't live without me. i am not saying i was not happy with this. i am, i thought things could go back to before.

 

i already realise why we kept breaking up, i was at fault too and i am making effort to change. right now, the problem is my heart feels kinda empty. i hope it is temporary.

 

sorry if i sound stupid or making a fuss. it bothers me so much i had been crying secretly. i was in mini depression yesterday because of this, lie in bed whole day and couldn't work. just writing here to get some experience from others. i will let time take care of this, and will make effort myself too. thanks everyone!

[newlife21]

also, i read about other people's problem here, mine doesn't seem too big. i just thought i should be more tolerant if i love him.

 

during good times, there was once i felt giddy due to heat wave, he did come back fast from work. is only when he is upset, he is scary. is every guy like this?

[Ms Darcy]

i can see why you've grown cold towards him. i mean, if he is on again/off again, i think you are sort of 'protecting yourself' from his distancing act. that makes total sense to me. why give your heart out to someone who alternates between wanting and not wanting it? i'd give it some time, see where things go. otherwise, cut your losses and move on.

 

I agree with this. Wishy washiness can reek havoc on a relationship and on one's emotions.

[Gratsy]

I think you will eventually realize you should break it off and go with someone who makes you happy.