THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[jake1992]

Ive been two days nc, this is my 3rd rime trying, in curiouse to see if i actually love her or not and only time will tell. I also need to know how she reacts without me in her life, and ultimately i need to be happy and enjoy the short time i have on this planet. Im ing in! I picked up a cookbook and have made ratatoille successfully i sing tobmy self, write my frustrations down, work and exercise, meditate, all to fight the overwhelming emotions and need to contact her. I love her but we cant be friends. Thats not our path, all or nothing !!!

[LifeasMe]

Day 5

 

Officially the longest NC since we met. I am still hopeful, but feeling stronger every day. He wasn't in the right place. He doesn't have enough feelings for me. Is he really worth it?

 

Time for me.

[deadmareish]

Getting harder to resit messaging him already.

Having a rubbish week and I want him to be the one to comfort me.

I think it's nothing more then out of habit and no one else seems to be around...

 

Day 7

[BringinMahoney]

Day 17

 

Don't know what it is. I have not even seen her in over 4 months but the last few days I have this urge to want her. It's as though my senses towards her have not faded but grown stronger. WHY?????

I am dating other women working out living a single man's life. But why is she not faded as little as she has in my mind and heart.

[Beduldac]

I am completely healed. She left me for another man on 7 March. I am beginning to think he did me a favor and even a blessing in disguise. She was a damaged woman when I met her and with very little doubt she is still a wounded woman. The ever present excuse was she was afraid of getting hurt and never letting down her guard even though we were together for 11 months. I hope he has enjoyed her disappearing for weeks at a time and avoiding intimacy.

 

I never heard from her on my birthday on 28 July. Her 34th birthday was 23 August. I made no attempts to wish her a Happy Birthday. I owe her nothing now. I made a big deal over it last year. I took out her out for dinner and got her a Dairy Queen icecream cake. She loved it. I took a picture of her and the cake. She posted it on Facebook and never mentioned me at all. That should have been a big brilliant red flag. We were together 5 months at that point. When you care for someone, it is easy to ignore and miss the red flags. We should have had a serious discussion then. We probably would have broken up a lot sooner.

[the dude91]

Day 52

 

Well, officially moved into my new house now. Still have a couple of things to put away but not much, I at least have the tv and stuff setup. But sadly the ex is heavy on my mind, I was originally getting this house as a surprise for her. So now I'm here, more or less by myself. I'm kind of regretting following through on this house now because it's just bringing up memories of her, but while unpacking and sorting stuff I came accross one of the first pictures we had taken and had developed. I threw it away, a part of me really wanted to save it but I felt like it was because I was still holding onto that little thread of hope that she'd come back. So I had to throw it away to remind myself that there is no going back and that she was not coming back so I need to continue to move on. Not sure why it's taking me so long to do that, at one point I felt like I was there and now, it seems like I took two steps forward and 3 steps back.

[LifeasMe]

Day 6

 

D-day. He leaves today to move to another city. Goodbye.

 

Feeling anxious.

[deadmareish]

Today it has been exactly 3 months since he broke up with me.

I don't necessarily feel sad about either.

 

Day 8

[Thrillhouse]

I really struggle in the mornings, but I manage to calm down by the end of the day. If I think of messaging her, I send a message to one of my friends saying how great they are instead.

 

Day 5

[Kuala]

Day 57!

 

Doing better but there are still times that good memories kill me but somehow listening to this song makes me alot better. Try listening to it as well guys, Jason Mraz's 3 Things. Goodluck to your healing!

[Soul man 82]

Day 8! I sometimes feel like reaching out and telling her that I understood why she left, she was so depressed about her son leaving to live far away with his dad and it was all just bad timing as our relationship had just started. we were only together three months. I know I need to leave her be to heal and sort herself out. Something's just go unsaid I guess. Just sucks because things just felt so right.

[deadmareish]

Got it wrong and miss counted - Today is Day 10

 

Today is a hard day. It's all hit home.

3 months broken up.

2 years wasted.

10 days NC.

 

Even with my friends around today I feel lonely.

Today I miss him.

[gone]

Day 0 - I accept the challenge.

 

It seems like 30 days from now is an eternity. I know I won't want to revisit feeling like I do now. It has been 26 days since we broke up officially, however, for a very long time we were off/on and it was not a healthy situation (lots of fighting, silent treatment, criticism, etc.). I am working on myself to become a better person. He ended it, saying we fight too much, after I asked for closure (before that he angrily dropped out of contact).

 

What I hope by coming here is to scream and cry as much as I want, without bothering my ex. Unlike some, I do not believe anger is healthy, and I have already felt a lot of anger toward this person. I have been, and am, in the forgiving mode. I am trying not to move on, I am trying to move FORWARD. Forward meaning, into happiness and out of grief.

[LifeasMe]

Day 7,8 and 9

 

Taking it day by day... he is still on my mind each and every day.

[deadmareish]

Day 12

 

Getting easier not to give in, but I still want to give in.

[brody17]

Day 53 - It's a long time 53 days, when I look at the calendar it feels like nothing. However when I look back at how I was feeling 53 days ago I can almost certainly see the difference and how NC has helped me. I still think about her, I still feel sad, that's normal. But as each day goes by I know I'll be okay. One day I will be okay and I'm excited for that. In the meantime I'm focusing on my-self. Maybe in the future I can be with someone, all I know is that the future isn't today.

[Timtom39]

I just found this site and decided to take part in the challenge, I'd really like to look over this someday

 

A quick overview. I am divorced with 2 girls (age 7&10), I met a younger girl and things clicked like they never did before, it really was the first time I fell in love (my marriage was due to pregnancy, i wasn't happy but tried to do the right thing). Things progressed really quickly, we had the most intense bond ever (for me, although she said for her too). She moved in last July and things were going great until I a very unhealthy dislike for my ex wife was clear. She just couldn't handle the concept, didn't want her in the driveway to pick up kids, or the kids to talk about her.. etc... Was always obsessed that I was talking to her (i wasn't). This would cause little spats here and there, and once in awhile blow up into a full blown fight. Still, she always told me how much she loves me and I just assumed (hoped) she would eventually get over it.

 

She didn't, it only got worse and the hate for the ex wife started slowly to translate to the kids. I approached her on it once in April (not really enjoying the kids), she blew up.. How could you even ask that, I take care of these kids more then their mother ever did (she did). She broke up with me for about 12 hrs back in May, said it wasn't fair that she hated the ex so much, but she can't handle it and thought she would by now. We quickly got back together, and I kinda checked out. She said some things during this that where hard to take back, she thought my ex was low class (she is) and was kind of talking about the kids like they were too. Not directly, but worrying about my kids being around our kids (cause my kids were learning low class things from their mother sigh).

 

So, I checked out, distanced myself, started drinking a lot, couldn't deal with the mental anguish of having someone you love so much not respecting your children. All the while she was getting more short and snippy with me and kids, but at the same time wanting to go around to look at wedding rings. In any event, the final blow came almost a month ago. She ended it, emphatically admitted that she "hates that I have kids" and "hates that I have an ex wife". That should be enough to write her off for good, but I am plagued by the thought that maybe it was salvageable, maybe if I didn't check out and instead worked on it, or went to counselling for it, it would've fixed it. She was never bad to them bear in mind, but it was heading there.

 

Anyway, the first two weeks after we talked semi regularly, even got intimate 2 weeks ago. She then called me up crying later that night, said wish we could've really talked a few months ago, feels like she was losing her best friend. I fell back into the nice guy role of telling her everything was going to be ok, I still loved her. She ended it with saying she will text me tomorrow, and then texted me later that night thanking me.

 

That was 2 weeks ago and the last I've seen or heard from her, she even didn't come and didn't call/text on the following Monday when she was supposed to get some of her stuff.

 

Anyway, that puts me at day 14 of No Contact, and it's not been a good one. I've had a good day here and there, but every single day I walk around feeling empty, thinking about her/us every minute and having no appetite. I read that it says to go out and socialize, but that just makes it worse. Anything I do, I would've been doing with her by my side just a month ago. I have never experienced anything like this. I know with her position on my kids, I probably dodged a bullet, but while it temporarily helps to think about that, I am constantly thinking maybe if a,b,c were done, she could've gotten over it. I think her lack of contact is screwing me up too, I'd so like to have something from her, to know she cares, or is hurting, but I suspect it'd only be a setback if I did. Sigh

[LifeasMe]

Day 10,11 and 12

 

I received an email in his name today... not from him, to him from an online store he bought something through my account months ago. Random, but had a strong urge to check out his social media updates. Resisted. "Keep strong, he left you".

[Timtom39]

Day 15 of NC, kids first day of school. Last year she was her to send them off with me. Really hurting right now.

 

Some good news, I received a text last night late. I was in bed, immediately thought it was her, but didn't feel the need to hop out of bed and check. Just went to sleep, thought that was a good sign as a week ago I would've jumped to check. It wasn't her, although in the morning when I checked, I wished it was

[Timtom39]

Day 15 of NC, kids first day of school. Last year she was her to send them off with me. Really hurting right now.

 

Some good news, I received a text last night late. I was in bed, immediately thought it was her, but didn't feel the need to hop out of bed and check. Just went to sleep, thought that was a good sign as a week ago I would've jumped to check. It wasn't her, although in the morning when I checked, I wished it was

 

 

Update, just got a "hey, how are you?" breadcrumb.... Not going to respond, pisses me off. Would've been nice to have gotten a miss you or something

[telegraph ave]

lets just say things "officially" ended last tuesday, she called me thursday morning (12am) we spoke for 1 hour, to apologize how she acted towards me that day through text and the convo ended with her leaving because i was calling her out on "clearing her conscious" and she really did not care. then she called again on saturday morning (12am) we spoke for 2 hours pretty much. havent spoken since then so we i guess i can say im on day 7...... everyone single person i know tells me that its over, theres no chance, she was using me until she found someone else (which she seems to have done) and now that she can fully commit to another guy shes done. theres just so much to it. idk my brain feels like its gonna explode everyday

[annonimus]

Challenge accepted! We've been together for 4 years, she went to study abroad, and 7 months later I went too, to study on the same city to be with her. Before that I started dating another girl, it lasted like 1 month, now I'm here in another country, living 5 blocks from her house and she doesn't want me back.

I've already begged and cried, even tried to kill my self. I really want to be with her and I want to change, I want to be another person, I would do what ever it takes to have another chance to be with her.

I broke contact on September 2nd, this will be my 5th day, I still think a lot about her, I still think how I need to be another person. I'm doing a lot of physical activities and met some really nice friends here in the other country I'm living.

I see some changes on her behavior, on what she likes on facebook, when she feels sad she draws, and she's been liking some drawing posts on facebook, maybe she is sad because I'm not looking for her anymore. Today she was offline on facebook for 24h I guess she did that trying to call my attention or something, because I told her it was strange when we were on different countries and she would spend a lot of time offline after going to a party.

I feel so bad when I see couples doing well, all I think is that I could be with her too, and I messed up. I would like to tell her I learned from my mistakes, but even if I did, he would say I was lying or something.

 

EDIT: I just remembered now, when I just arrived here we were kind of getting along well (one day suddenly she decided I was the devil and wouldn't like to talk to me), we wen't to a cell phone store for me to buy a SIM card, I didn't have a house to live at the moment, so I registered my account there with her house adress, so she should be recieving mails for me there. I'll maybe receive a letter next month, maybe will be a reason for her to make contact in the next month.

[gone]

NC Day 7

 

Sometimes I feel like screaming at you at the top of my lungs for everything you did so wrong by us.

 

Other days, I go about my life just fine - staying busy. The ache in my heart has been less and less this week, as my heart slowly starts to catch up with my brain. I deserve better, my brain says. But my heart is still so angry and forsaken. That's when I want to scream. I doubt you know what you left behind. I don't think you care. The whole thing was a set-up.

[PixPixel]

Day 1

 

I would have been way past this point. But every few days he keeps showing up in the past week he's come over 3 times. Yesterday being the most recent

[annonimus]

Day 6:

5. If you have contact with your ex BY YOUR DOING..YOU MUST POST WHY YOU DID IT AND HOW YOU FEEL RIGHT AFTER. No exceptions.

I said hi to her, I wasn't depressed anymore and for some minutes I felt I was OK to have a conversation with her, IDK what I was thinking... When I said hi she was online but said nothing, after 7 hours she answered with another 'hi', after 2 hours I told her this, trying to fix my breaking on NC: 'I just wanted to say I'm OK with the break up, I think I just needed some time for myself.'

She didn't answer, I guess she will only answer me tomorrow, whatever she says I won't let a conversation to begin. I'm feeling really well and maybe I'm not lying when I say I'm OK with the breakup, still I'd do whatever possible to have another chance with her.

I won't let the NC rule to be broken again, on the 30th day I maybe much better and I will be prepared for whatever comes, if she tells me she doesn't care or something I MIGHT get upset again. Let's see.