THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[silversoul]

Actions speak louder than words, it's like she keeps kicking me in my balls. And after that she says "sorry" but she keeps doing it.

 

I did not respond, and had a really good day with my family.

 

Day 20 today.

 

Well done!

 

This may help you guys

[vi0let]

So my ex wants me back.

 

To say that I am shocked is an understatement to say the least.

[Jimboboy]

So my ex wants me back.

 

To say that I am shocked is an understatement to say the least.

 

Tell me more about your story

[Jimboboy]

Well, today has been the 3 week mark of my no contact.

 

I feel good. I can honestly tell that I am not having butterflies anymore.

I miss her, especially now it is christmas. But I don't think I want her back..

 

21 days, big future ahead!

[Jimboboy]

Well, after 21 days I broke no contact.

 

I recieved a letter this night. Anonymous, there were some really personal things in there.

I am a bit worried, maybe I am having like a stalker lol..

 

So I asked my ex if it was from her ( just to be sure )

She did not respond yet.

[IAmFCA]

My stalker used privileged information to try to intimidate me, and it was information that was gathered from trolling ENA and then adopting a false identity on ENA to learn more. Think about who knows you have a voice here?

[Jimboboy]

Today has been better. I think it's day 22 since I started it. And day 1 after I texted her yesterday.

 

I can honestly say I hate the way she threated me. And I really don't want to have contact with her ever again.

[zdfg]

Day 1 NC.

 

A little background since I have never posted it anywhere else. This saga has been going on for about 5 months. Some NC previously, some LC, some NIC. She moved on painfully (straight to another man), with a lot of drama on both sides. A little over a month ago we got back together. Her stating that she tried to forget me and could not, and that she knew she loved me. So I brought her down to Mexico, "showed her the time of her life", she professed marriage, a baby, etc after getting back together. And 4 days after returning home hooked up with her rebound stating she loved him more than me. She waited until I was on the other side of the world to drop that bombshell. We were together 2 years total.

 

After than I told her I never wanted to see or hear from her ever again. After only 4 days of NC I get an email saying her little sister had committed suicide. I sent sympathy and when she turned the contact into talking about us - I imploded and told her NC again and never contact me again. 2 days later I relented and told her I would put aside my own grief to help her deal with hers and that if she needed me or wanted me I would be there for her during this time. She took full advantage - even with rebound guy in the background. When the daily chats started to include some sexting and flirting I started to wonder if rebound guy was out of the picture, so I asked her to pick me up from the airport (I work overseas and have been out of country while this was going on) and she agreed. 2 days later she is talking to me on the phone and says "I hope you're not going to get the wrong impression by me picking you up?" and I simply said "Are you still with X? Because the way we've been talking I assumed he was out of the picture". To which she replied he wasn't. So right back to me telling her don't talk to me and I get a new ride. It's messed up I know. I know we both want each other back, but there is too much damage in between. She is an incredibly beautiful and seductive woman - with a lot of good points - but also a plethora of bad. Because of the length of this drawing down, each of us has developed a semi-sadistic approach to the other. No one said breaking up had to be mature or pretty at times. This one has been a Wes Craven nightmare. Last night I delivered her sons Christmas present I got him while we were back together. I said my peace and my peace was pretty direct and to the point. It did not sound fuzzy or get back together'ish'. It was quite harsh which included 'you will never see or hear from me again'. I need to make it stick this time. This is a broken unhealthy situation. I don't want her back. I want her gone and I want her to know I am gone.

 

Since getting home 5 days ago, we have been in sporadic contact every day. I always respond when she initiates and initiate when she doesn't. We both know we need to move on, but one of us has to take the reins. That is going to be me and I plan on disappearing for good. This is where it starts.

 

DAY 1 - Wish me luck as she will come stalking me very-very soon.

[Jimboboy]

Well join the club.

 

Everytime she is stalking you just simply text this: " I agree with you about the decision to break up, I really believe it was the best thing for both of us. I have some big decisions to make and i need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate it if you didn't contact me during this time. I will be in touch when I am ready. "

 

Please don't take the bait, I know how it feels. Whenever I am sad, horny, or whatever I would love to talk with her. But don't do it. You'll be hurt afterwards.

 

Stay strong and positive!

[zdfg]

That is really sound advice. In this case however, it has gone beyond any form of contact whatsoever. This is one of those situations that is like heroin. You have to kick it and kick it or good. She is a strong and powerful drug, and we swirl around each other looking for vulnerabilities. She has put up a wall with a guy. I am going to put up a wall of silence and disappear behind it never to show my face again. I just want to move on with my life, and get on with finding happiness somewhere else. Not necessarily in a new relationship, but just finding peace again. Turns at Whistler, racing motorcycles, being with my son. Anything, but her and her poison.

 

I just need to be held accountable. Here I am.

[Jimboboy]

That is really sound advice. In this case however, it has gone beyond any form of contact whatsoever. This is one of those situations that is like heroin. You have to kick it and kick it or good. She is a strong and powerful drug, and we swirl around each other looking for vulnerabilities. She has put up a wall with a guy. I am going to put up a wall of silence and disappear behind it never to show my face again. I just want to move on with my life, and get on with finding happiness somewhere else. Not necessarily in a new relationship, but just finding peace again. Turns at Whistler, racing motorcycles, being with my son. Anything, but her and her poison.

 

I just need to be held accountable. Here I am.

 

Well yeah, If you think quitting smoking is hard, try staying away from someone you love with all of your heart.

 

But you have to, it's just between your ears.

[js0905]

So my ex wants me back.

 

To say that I am shocked is an understatement to say the least.

 

Merry Christmas!!

As I said before you deserve good things for been strong and staying out of contact for as long as you did =)

 

Now is up to you to do what you think is best. Just take your time and do it slowly.

I'm still getting nowhere since he wished me Merry Christmas and told me he missed me and I replied. Again it all means nothing since he now lives 200+ miles away.

 

Just need to let him go but I figured he'll probably text me for New Years & I'll reply. So will just start fresh again after 01/01/14 ...LOL!!

 

I love him but have a feeling that he is with someone else already. No longer feel is my place to ask him since we are really not "together" anymore.

 

It is what it is and next week it will be my New Years resolution to go NC for as long as I need to again but at least for 30 days.

[MMT]

That's great.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Best best best wishes for you>

 

So my ex wants me back.

 

To say that I am shocked is an understatement to say the least.

[MMT]

Dont break your NC any more

 

Today has been better. I think it's day 22 since I started it. And day 1 after I texted her yesterday.

 

I can honestly say I hate the way she threated me. And I really don't want to have contact with her ever again.

[Jimboboy]

Dont break your NC any more

 

I wont, she keeped calling me today. I did not answer. She messaged me "Pick up now!" "You are such a sad person" I blocked her.

[USMC82]

Day 1 for me. For those interested, my story is HERE

 

I shouldn't of done it but I just went back over the 200+ texts that were sent between us from just before Christmas up until yesterday when we met at the park. "I love you's" and "you have my heart"s and just when I think that she's coming back to me, she drops the bombshell that her and the guy that she's seeing are going on a cruise together. So basically, she sells herself for whatever the latest circus act brings to town. And yes, I realize that she's playing me as the fool, keeping me in her back pocket just in case. So this is Day 1 and I will refuse to answer emails/texts/calls. I need to figure out how to block her number (call phone company? I can have her calls go straight to VM but no idea how to block her texts). Blocking her email was easy enough.

 

It's also day 8 or 9 as far as working out again. Cardio in the morning and sometimes in the evening or a workout (resistance training). I'm working on me now; not for her, for me.

[YaWadud]

DAY 47. One might think it would be easier when one's ex is 10,000 miles away....And yet, I had the most vivid and ecstatically amazing dream about her coming back last night. Almost at ground zero for the entirety of today. Been wanting to reach out SO hard in the last few weeks, but I know that NOTHING good could possibly be accomplished at this very EARLY stage (BTW, for all you young'uns, 2 months to a year is really NOTHING). PS- no begging, whining, whelping, crying, screaming, accusing, cursing, etc. occurred on my end...I left it an open question......

[zdfg]

Day 2 NC - SIGH....SIGH AGAIN....

 

Still trying to adjust to being home. 15 hour time difference jet lag has been terrible. It's like being sick. I am so spun up from being home I can't sleep. I stay awake 24 hours and then sleep 4-6. Repeat. I know I have trouble coping when I am tired and I am always sort of walking around in a viscous gel.

 

To top that off I am compounding all my issues over her by playing rebound pinball. I know - I know...it's not good. It just happens. I burned another girl today who flew accross the country to see me. She had high hopes, I knew it would be a disaster. She is the 4th girl since...what August? Slept with them all except this last girl. I let her go because I could have easily enough. I did realize today that none of that is helping me move on. They are just distractions that become collateral damage as I try and forget 'HER', the one. I'm a mess.

 

Did I think about her? Sure, when was I not thinking about her in some way. My thoughts mostly focus on...the current situation. She started going out with the ugliest nastiest dude on the planet, and everyone is like ? It's painful to hear about.

 

I'm not even sure I want to talk about it anymore. It's the start of day 2...and yes I thought about contacting her earlier. I know it's a disaster waiting to happen. My previous longest NC with her was like 13 days and she broke that.

 

Wish me luck.

[USMC82]

Day 2 NC - SIGH....SIGH AGAIN....

 

 

Good luck dude, I feel your pain as they say. Just woke up after dreaming about mine (yet again). The day before yesterday, we were hugging and holding hands and walking and having a great talk until she was so relaxed and comfortable...and then she dropped the bomb. Basically surrendering herself to this guy that is promising her this and that. I feel like I just fumbled the ball on the 5-yd line after a great drive. Sucks. Hang in there, I'm going to do the same.

[zdfg]

Funny how things can change in an instant USMC82. We're better off, just have to remove the poison from our systems.

[harley24]

This would be day 1 NC. He text me at 2 am on the 27th. Basically saying he heard I've went out with some friends and that I must be real heart broken... but I am. ...

 

I can't stop. I know I shouldnt think about him. What he's doing. Where he is.

I keep getting flashes of his eyes. So crazy beautiful blue. Of how he use to come up behined Me and hug me and whisper "you're so beautiful and amazing" or how he'd hug me at night if I had a bad dream. ...

 

Its hard to believe that just days ago we were together and now I'm 4 hours away and he's planning to move even farther away?

 

I keep thinking he will just come be with me like I asked when he was breaking it off but not certain he wanted to actually go through with it. All I can do is hope he realizes moving there isn't as good as being with me anywhere...

 

I know hell contact me again. I'm pretty sure bc he hasn't gone more than two days without saying he loves me or misses me.

 

Toughest christmas I've ever had.

[zdfg]

Rebounds kind of find me. It's like a curse. I'm finally pulling my head out of my a$$ though.

[harley24]

Rebounds kind of find me. It's like a curse. I'm finally pulling my head out of my a$$ though.

 

That's good.

 

Tonight is hard. It's 2 am and ususlly he'll contact me by now about anything....I can't stop crying I'm so upset. I feel like he just doesn't care. Although I know it's not true. It still hurts so bad to think he's fine right now. ... maybe he's not. If not why is he doing this

God I'd give anything to be in his arms again. I miss him so much. I Will not text him. ...I will not text him. ...

 

Ugh

[zdfg]

That's good.

 

Tonight is hard. It's 2 am and ususlly he'll contact me by now about anything....I can't stop crying I'm so upset. I feel like he just doesn't care. Although I know it's not true. It still hurts so bad to think he's fine right now. ... maybe he's not. If not why is he doing this

God I'd give anything to be in his arms again. I miss him so much. I Will not text him. ...I will not text him. ...

 

Ugh

 

The first days and weeks are the worse. I can say I WISH MORE THAN ANYTHING that I had just walked away right from the start. I think, IMHO that is the most crucial moment to do so. It gives you instant credibility in an otherwise crap situation. I wish I had someone there at the time to give me that advice. I'm sitting here in the dark mulling it over and the 2nd break up was just over a month ago. Be strong please.

[Jimboboy]

Just stay strong, No contact is the only way to get over this kind of sh*t.