zdfg
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Posts
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zdfg's Achievements
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Went off NC after she emailed and I gave it a day - called and chatted her up - I know she's doing her best to move on and so am I. I just manned up and decided to get on with my life. I finally realized I did as much as she did to destroy the relationship. Maybe more. I'm capable of being friends with her - and I feel solid in my skin. Good luck to everyone here. I know the pain you're feeling. I think the old adage "Time heals all things" is pretty much spot on.
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I think it's impossible to reconcile if there are still hard feelings and the issues pop up. This is exactly what happened when I got back together with my ex. It was too much, too soon. There were too many hard feelings left over - too much anger - too much pain. Sometimes you just have to let go completely.
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Day 8 NC. Just realized my blocked filtering on Hotmail was set improperly. So, there was an email from her this morning saying "Can I ask you a question?". I had told her previously not to contact me. I am not answering, I know whatever it is - she can figure it out WITHOUT me. She has a new boyfriend to assist her with life's difficult questions, and if it was legitimate and it somehow pertained to us....well there is no us anymore. It will remain a mystery to her. There was a time when I would have already answered. Not now, maybe not ever. It feels good to take control of my life again. I feel better everyday already. There are definitely some twinges of mixed emotions, but then I try and focus on the bad things she did to me. A cute girl I know started blowing me up over text and email the past couple days - and I have gone down to her work during her breaks to sit and just talk. She likes to laugh. It's nice... No Contact.
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Day 7 NC Glad the holidays are over. I am honestly thankful to be moving on. Spent the past few days doing some hobbies I haven't been interested in due to the stress of the break up. Considering moving back to the town we originally came from to put some space and distance between myself and her new situation, and taking a small vacation just to enjoy some personal time. Getting there.
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Day 6 NC. I miss certain things about her, but overall I KNOW I am much better off without her. Time is medicine. I'll mark my days and swallow my pills. Happy New Year.
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If I lived in Texas I'd take you to a strip bar for NYE. LOL
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Iron Will. Iron Serenity. You need to take control here man. Don't give an inch.
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Day 5 NC Doing well. This has been going on off and on for 6 months though, so I've had plenty of time to process. If I had come here 6 months ago...well. Keeping busy - still the occasional pang, but I am well into the acceptance phase. I called an ex-ex yesterday to apologize for the way I treated her a long time ago. What goes around comes around, and I figured it was time for my karma to catch up with me. 98% of the time I've been the dumper so I've seen the other side of the coin - guess it was my time to feel the burn.
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The pull of the siren is strong brother. Once a Marine, ALWAYS a Marine. Why reenlist? Dig deeper. You will suffer but the end of the road march is in sight...
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I'm adding that I have changed all my phone numbers, blocked of all her emails with the exception of pesky icloud which doesn't allow email blocking only 'rules' to move emails to trash, deactivated my FB account, and insured my Instagram is private with a picture of a dead squirrel as my profile pic. She really has no way to reach out to me other than to email the icloud account, in which case the email goes to the trash (hopefully I don't check that often LOL), come see me in person (not likely) or bump into me (which is sorta likely if I hang around in town). She will only find a wall of silence now. It is probably the only thing I've ever 'said' these past few months that she will actually hear. I'm OK with that. I'm leaving my 25 year career Jan 25th to go check out the oil boom in ND. I'm sure I'll be too busy to care. How's that for No Contact?
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Just be cautious bro. I have heard that song and dance too. 13 days was the longest she let me get away from her for. Then she threw out a crumb of bread and I took the bait. Resulted in 3 more months of this numbing BS, and we did get back together, but it was vacant and haunted. Best to just move on unless there is real genuine love at stake. At which point I assume those things have a way of working out. Almost EVERY girl I have ever dated seriously has come back around at some point, but it is never the same as it was. It is always in some way tied to the past.
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Day 4 NC I woke up this morning and thought to myself "Even if you did contact me - what could you possibly say to make anything you've done forgivable?" There is nothing she could say. It doesn't matter. I am moving on.
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Day 3 NC - 35 days since breaking up the 2nd time. Woke up feeling better - my biggest initial concern was that I had forgotten to buy coffee, not her. I think the jet lag is starting to diminish, and I am sleeping during relatively normal hours. Been hitting the gym, spending time with my son, reconnecting with friends. Overall, this has been a long process to get to this point. I fought hard for her because she was in trouble (alcoholic and some drugs) and I know without a doubt disappearing from her life in order to get mine back in order is absolutely the right thing to do. This has been going on for way too long. I know all it has done is empower her, and weaken me. It is PAST time to cut the chord, but better now than never. This NC is the kind that some people mention around here as going from day 30 to infinity. It is more than likely that once I get this ball rolling strongly enough that I won't be answering anything she sends me, no matter how heartfelt it might sound. She is a damaged person, who I allowed into my son and my life, and ultimately it caused me a great deal of harm. Day 3.
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The first days and weeks are the worse. I can say I WISH MORE THAN ANYTHING that I had just walked away right from the start. I think, IMHO that is the most crucial moment to do so. It gives you instant credibility in an otherwise crap situation. I wish I had someone there at the time to give me that advice. I'm sitting here in the dark mulling it over and the 2nd break up was just over a month ago. Be strong please.
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Rebounds kind of find me. It's like a curse. I'm finally pulling my head out of my a$$ though.