THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[MMT]

Day 14

Today is my last night here and I remember every things from the beginning...3 days try for coming here and 1.5 years leaving here and you, myself and everythings. Today I just cried..... I know sth. I know....

[js0905]

*Day 16*

 

Sleepy.............

My vacation with family & friends is over and now is back to reality.

[t1lersm0m1]

Wow, I'm 7+ weeks post break up, he has been NC since breakup, I have been NC 21 days today. And I must say, I'm back to feeling WONDERFUL!

 

Did I love my guy? Yes! Did he love me? No! He wasn't over his wife. And I learned the lesson I needed to learn. I loved him, but deep down I wasn't happy. Merely two weeks before our breakup he met his wife to talk about divorce. She asked him why he hated her boyfriend. He said because he came between them reconciling. Red flags were here, there, everywhere, and I ignored him. He truly did me a favor breaking up with me. (Hint, when your wife asks why you hate her boyfriend, if you are over her, you say I don't hate him, I hope the two of you are very happy together!!!!! - and you MEAN it).

 

I had a third date yesterday. I like this guy so far. He's respectful, intelligent, seems to be financially stable, and the conversation is easy. If my ex came back tomorrow would I take him back? Heck no!!!! If he came back 6 months or a year from now, after resolving his issues, and I was single, I would entertain a meeting. But with 100% certainty, if he contacted me, I would remain in NC. He ignored me many times. So I would NOT feel bad ignoring him IF he came back (I really doubt he will, as he really didn't love me).

 

This board is amazing, the people here are amazing, and I'm so blessed I found this website. I came because of the ex, but I plan on staying for me.

[rippedinsides]

Day 2

No contact from him. None from me either. I guess he's waiting for me to come groveling. I'm not going to do it. I love him deeply. But I deserve to be treated right. And he's either going to learn it or else let me go. if he let's me go, its his loss. Day 2. Yayyyyyyyyyy!!!

[MMT]

Day 15

............... ............. ...........

[jenbrooks]

Day 16.

 

We didn't break up, but worse, we are in limbo, on a 30 day break. I wonder if anyone on here has a similar situation? Today I didn't do much other than staying home and cry. The trip with friends were good, but other than that, most of the time, I still thought about him.

 

I want to forget him so bad during this 30 day break, he's not as loving and caring towards me like he used to be, this is why I asked for the break. I hope that after the break, things will turn out for the best. I keep on trying to predict the future, it's not good for me.

 

I've been in waiting mode instead of moving on mode, and it's really difficult for me. Everyone thinks I should start moving on, pretend as if this is a real breakup. I do everything possible to forget such as exercising, go to the steam room to reduce the stress, read more and more articles about relationship breakups or breaks.

 

Some days are good, some days are really lonely, and some days I break down and cry.

 

I still have the same question lingering around my head, should I contact him after 30 days? Should I do something about this? Or should I wait for him? What happens if we are both waiting on each other? I have so many what ifs

[js0905]

Day 15

............... ............. ...........

 

 

My feelings exactly.......

[lovelyme]

Day 83

 

I know what you had and what you lost. I know this is wrong to say but I feel confident you won't find anyone like me. I know the instability in your life drove you away from me because I was the only stable thing in your life. I know you'll come crawling back. The sad thing is that I'm slowly moving on and letting go. It's your loss. Not mines.

[IAmFCA]

This post is out of context. Having a very non sequitur feeling atm.

 

I broke contact Sep 18. On the occasion of your super secret nuptials. You began threatening two of the men in my life, indirectly, through weird emails to me. Consequently, I began to follow your fb, to judge when you were in town etc. Way too much connection. This weekend you were with old friends, playing the drums. This weekend you went to Disney?? I don't even recognize who you are with, maybe that's Jordan???

 

Point is, all of a sudden, I have this weird feeling: look, there's another man that left me. Even though you are as loony as the bird itself.

 

Glad I stopped to blog this: I realize this is leftover from my inbred fear of abandonment. One, I was not abandoned, and two, I will be okay. Fear of abandonment? what's to be afraid of?

 

Let it be. Vision your path forward. What do you see?

 

(I see M, voice. I see M. Do I keep the vision?) New thread: re envisioning success.

[t1lersm0m1]

Wow, I've been at work several hours and forgot to come and post here. I usually look forward to coming here to post. I think about him a couple of times a day, but not memories of moments we spent together, just the actual thought of him.

 

I'm healing, and "I feel fine."

[MMT]

Day 16

 

I am finding myself... miss you

[FindingClarity]

Day 30

 

I've made no move to contact you - and you certainly haven't tried to contact me.

 

Now what?

[LaRock]

Day One

 

Hour Five, Five Hours Ago I Told Her I Can't Be In Her Life On The side While She Dates Other People, I gave Her My Best Wishes And Told Her To Follow What Her Heart Truly.Wants, She Hugged Me For About Ten Minutes Straight Before Letting Go And Sat In Her Car For Another Ten Minutes Before Leaving...

Ughh 3

[IAmFCA]

Earlier today, I chose to post in this thread for the first time since breaking contact. I am surprised to discover it's been 40 days, 41 actually. I don't miss him, I don't miss anything about him except for the way it felt when we were together, like we could do anything. We hadn't been together in 10 months now, there is so much after him that makes him distant.

 

Even still, the 40 days feels like two weeks only.

 

it appears he has stopped stalking me, but my spider sense is up today. Waiting for the proverbial shoe. Since the secret email no longer is available for him to shield himself, he may be frustrated and communicating by fb pic. the old pics may be a sign of packing and unpacking. he told me he had 2 months of money left, and that's now. maybe he is moving to her city after all. maybe I will be rid of him. how will he see his children though? I wish I knew the whole story but with him, there is no whole story.

[js0905]

Day 18..................................

[brokendoll]

O M G

 

Its like this thread was made for me.

I just finished contacting him like 2 hrs ago. So here we go.

Start day 1... yeah these are going to be longgggggggggggggggggest days of my life

[IAmFCA]

OK So this would be day 42. My spidey sense is wavering. He might be leaving me alone.

 

So uncomfortable knowing he is a loose canon.

 

I am going to forget about him, that will be my exercise for today. I will not check his fb page until tomorrow, soonest, having checked it already today.

 

I know fb = contact in the context of my thread, but all have advised I keep him close. For good reason. So, I check. But, no more today.

[MMT]

Day 17

 

vomit/ my soul's garbage

[LaRock]

Day Two...This Sucks

[js0905]

What day is it again??

I'm starting to feel he is letting me go.

Like that song by "Passenger" in my mind he is thinking "Only know you love her when you let her go, and you let her go"

 

I's crazy but if he is letting me go then at least it makes me feel better....

[t1lersm0m1]

I think I'm gonna start posting at night. That way I know I've successfully made it through the day. I'm not even tempted to contact him, and I don't think of him much.

 

WOO HOO, 7 days to complete the 30 day challenge. I can only imagine how I'll feel another 7 days from now!

[MisSunny]

Day 1, the beginning.

 

Technically, I've been in no contact much longer than just a day; realistically it's something more like 2 weeks since I last messaged him... And a whole month since I've heard anything from him. I'm mostly joining this challenge because I need a way to combat the crippling loneliness I feel, especially at night. Plus I'd really like the opportunity to commiserate with people who are going through the same thing as me...

 

To summarize my break up; we dated for 3 years, and he dumped me little over a month ago (Sept 24) saying that he "didn't feel the same way about me that he used to". Within the first week, I pestered him way more than I should have, but I've been mostly radio silent since then. In the month since the break up, I've lost 20 lbs, made a plan for my future, and re-kindled a lot of friendships I had let slip while I was in a relationship.

 

I'm working on improving myself, and becoming the best version of myself I can be... Yet I still feel like garbage when I'm alone. My bad feelings are compounded by the fact that he already has a new girlfriend, too... I dunno. I just feel cruddy.

[brokendoll]

Day 1 is done he messaged " baby" 4 am in the morning. I don't know what that means. The situation is we weren't bf gf. We hooked up 3 times on three weekends. Then I developed feelings for him and he doesn't have feelings. So I'm trying to do NC. He knows about this. And it's very complicated. We were long distance for 3 months before that but once we hooked up I just felt like a fwb. I just messed up by giving in so quickly I think.

Anyways I've learnt my lesson a very painful way.

[AJKAJKAJK]

All of this seems like a game. I used to do when I was in my early 20s. When you grow older, there cannot be no games about ex contacts and etc. In my opinion this is a bit immature if you are older.

 

Everyone, don`t do my mistakes. Just before doing something, think a bit. But when it comes to your heart do not hesitate ever. The hardest part is to realize what can harm the future and what can save the future. Try to think at least 2 steps ahead before destroying something.

[t1lersm0m1]

It's honestly not a game. It's about healing. About taking care of YOU first.

 

My ex broke up with me. When going through a break up, your emotions are FULL STEAM AHEAD. You begin second guessing everything. You say this is only temporary, he will come back.

 

No contact gives you the chance to truly heal. There's no looking at his facebook page. No calling him, texting him, emailing him, no unannounced stop overs at his place. You just stop contacting them and work on YOU.

 

A month after my break up I texted him from a different number. he asked who it was and I immediately told him it was me. he then went silent. I kept texting and finally said IF this is over forever tell me. (When you feel unemotional and sane this all sounds dumb, he already told me it was over when he broke up with me, but when you contact them you begin feeling anxiety and like there is something you have to do to get them back, or convince them to change their minds). Since I went no contact, I've really healed. I'm almost there.

 

None of it is a game. It's about healing. It's not a strategy to win the ex back. It's winning YOU back. The secure, happy person you were before the break up. Not the puddle of mud you feel like when they tell you it's over and your mind goes into overdrive trying to plan and calculate how to win them back.

 

All of this seems like a game. I used to do when I was in my early 20s. When you grow older, there cannot be no games about ex contacts and etc. In my opinion this is a bit immature if you are older.

 

Everyone, don`t do my mistakes. Just before doing something, think a bit. But when it comes to your heart do not hesitate ever. The hardest part is to realize what can harm the future and what can save the future. Try to think at least 2 steps ahead before destroying something.