THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[IAmFCA]

Day 17.

 

I am annoyed,I admit, by his new policy of total web invisibility, though he needs to do that since he is job hunting.

 

I am, at various passing moments, grateful to not have him in my life.

 

I am looking forward to my weekend.

 

I am not going to contact him.

 

it it's ready to remember how much better I am without him than with.

[james31]

DAY 22/23??

 

Spent the morning with my new girl, she came to the Dawn service with me at 0430 for ANZAC day.

This meant alot to me so my morning was great, we had 'the talk' and we are dating but going super slow so im happy AND comfortable.

 

I couldnt shake the ex from my thoughts this afternoon, i know she has been keeping tabs on me via FB/Instagram and i started to get overwhelmed with the idea of calling or texting but i kept busy and made it through the rest of the day

[axgunner]

Day 4 (yesterday)

 

Morning I did that unblocking on Skype thing AGAIN to check if she messaged me. Looking back at myself doing this is kind of pathetic.

 

Slept till 2.30pm then went shopping with sister, thoughts about ran into my mind and hoping that i'll bump into her at the shopping center. But overall a good day.

 

At night I unblocked her again and thought about stalking her but I didn't! YAY!

[heartbrokengir]

Day 30

 

Crazy it's 30 days already since BU and NC. The whole grieving process has gotten a lot easier and I'm better at moving on after memories pop into my head. Of course, I still miss him, I miss his face, I miss his presence. But I know it's over and I have to move on. I know I can do better. I know all I need to do is to grieve.

[Mellow1]

So starting NC again because I know now that when I ignore him it makes him want me. When we broke contact it was because of school and for some reason I was feeling extremely happy and he notice and started to ask question like why are you so happy when you look at the phone? It kinda made me feel like I was in control and i'm kicking his ego's ass lol he been throwing his single flirty ways at me for the past two week since we broke up and this week I just played his little game and started being myself again. So NC this whole summer i'm not going to be his puppet anymore...i want to feel special to someone I know he is out there waiting for me

 

DAY 1

 

He send me two emails one for a trip we are mandatory to go on and another a joke in which he expresses im a close friend I didnt reply and im proud of myself because his jokes are super lame sometimes so over him

[marshmallito]

Day 3

I am not unhappy.... maybe a little depressed... Just feeling stuck.

 

I have work to do, but I am not working. I am distracting myself by surfing the internet, this forum, friends anything. He is the only thing I can focus on.

 

This has to be self-destructive. Why is losing this relationship causing me to neglect my work?

[marshmallito]

Sorry Cakegirl, I haven't followed your story. Let me know if you are just venting and don't want my thoughts...

He suggested lunch two months ago? But you have been NC one month... maybe lunch was suggested to enable contact for closure, and he feels he (and maybe you too) got that done prior to your starting NC.

[marshmallito]

Day 25

 

Almost a month...getting there. Feel I've gotten better in some aspects of getting myself to a better point but I still miss you. Although writing out a list of why you suck is pretty liberating.

 

That's it! I am going to do this right now. Maybe this will organise my thoughts so I don't keep searching for distraction.

[Ne Moe]

Day 9

 

Wow, 9 days already. The last 2 nights were hard, I was sure you would look to see me because you always do. I guess you listened to what I told you. Suppose it was the right thing to do but it still sucks.

All the same, I haven't had more than a fleeting urge to contact you. I'm glad I exhausted all options of reconciliation so that I could get to this point. The point where I know it's done.

I'm also at the point where I'm bored of the breakup. I'm bored talking and thinking about it.

Time to start anew and put the past behind me. I'm trying not to dwell and while I'd like to remember the good times, at the moment that hurts almost as much as the bad, so instead I'm choosing to just not think about it at all.

[figmentations]

That's it! I am going to do this right now. Maybe this will organise my thoughts so I don't keep searching for distraction.

 

I found it very helpful and good to let that suppressed anger come out. I've felt better since I wrote it though, had a few downs but nothing major.

[Amandacast57]

Day 28.

 

Surprisingly, I had to check to see what day I was on.

 

I think the process of NC certainly lives up to the term "roller coaster" that people describe it as. Last Sunday, I was pretty much in tears all day. But this week, I've been pretty busy with work and my mind was occupied with another thread on this site. So I honestly haven't thought much of him this week.

 

Until last night....

 

My company dose a lot of get together and happy hours and what not. Last night, we had our annual baseball outing to watch our minor league baseball team play. I brought my married/pregnant friend who is usually my back up date to everything but I couldn't help but feel a little sad and depressed that SO many people were there with their spouses and children. But I guess that is normal.

 

I woke up this morning feeling so much hatred towards him. I'm not stupid. I know that people lead others on all the time but my problem was that I really didn't ask for him. What I mean is, I see a lot of girls in a "limbo" situation and they will every now and then ask their guy "So what are we?" or "When will you be my boyfriend?". The guy will tell them what they want to hear to buy them more time.

 

My problem is that I didn't ask my ex what we were or where we were going for some time now. I never asked when he was going to commit. HE brought that up on his own. HE told me he felt like come end of summer he needed to make a decision about us long term. I didn't ask that. HE talked about me being his wife. HE suggested/talked about me moving in. It is just really hard to think that someone would go through THAT much trouble to lead me on. My friends suggest that he wasn't doing it maliciously, he just doesn't know what he wants.

 

Regardless, onwards and upwards!

[El3216]

Today will be in charted territory. We haven't finished with all the business of moving out and now we truly have nothing to text about. This is where it really starts to counts she has no reason to contact me at this point. I have high anxiety of the in known.

[figmentations]

Day 27

 

Alright, almost a month! I've gotten better at planning my weekends so I don't fall into depression. Going to hang out with friends and later going clubbing. I don't feel bad today which is surprising since it's Friday and Fridays have been the worst day for me since BU (she broke up with me on a Friday so yeah). Today I'm gonna go chill at a friends. Discovering the true importance of friends and that I need to dedicate time to them as well.

[IAmFCA]

Day 18

 

everyday I can tell I am leaving old patterns behind. you are the sexiest most dangerous old pattern I know.

 

I am annoyed that I can't see evidence of your pain. I didn't expect to anyway. and it's good that I don't, because it just forces me. . to validate myself.

 

I am looking forward to tomorrow, Saturday. house clean, weather good. Day 19 will be besides the point.

[marshmallito]

I found it very helpful and good to let that suppressed anger come out. I've felt better since I wrote it though, had a few downs but nothing major.

 

It is still too soon. My emotions are too raw to appreciate the benefits to moving on from his negatives. I will try again though.

[figmentations]

It is still too soon. My emotions are too raw to appreciate the benefits to moving on from his negatives. I will try again though.

 

I was feeling surges of anger prior to writing out my list of negatives. I was sad and very broken up before the anger set in and I took advantage. You need to do it when the time is right, in other words, when you start feeling some anger and then just unleash it on paper.

[axgunner]

Day 5

I'm moving on! No real urges to talk to her or thoughts about her. When I do she does come to mind I shoot it down. Productive day although I'm slowly falling back into old habits which is "gaming" gotta fix my stuff.

 

-Dad finally convinced mum to get motorbike so i'll probably have it by this weekend.

[marshmallito]

Thanks figmentations.

 

Day 4

Its easier than day 3... maybe because i got so much of the obsessing done

[figmentations]

@marshmallito

 

You're very early into NC. I was only able to do it this week, almost reaching a month of NC. Don't pressure yourself into anything and best of luck!

[El3216]

I've been trying to stay Nc for about 2 weeks.. I've had to reply to msgs regarding our living situaion. Now that she's out I am very anxious. I don't know how ill feel it I get nothing from her.. I'm expecting things and I know I shouldn't..

[Jimbly]

70 days since BU followed by 4 weeks of an agreed fixed-term NC, then I went full NC 31 days ago.

 

This week was really tough for the most irrational reason! I've been dating somebody new for 4 weeks who is really great, so much better for me than my ex, but she lives an hour away. We only see each other a couple of times a week, and this really made me start missing my ex, who I used to work with and saw several times a week besides at work. It's not so much my ex I miss (I re-read my list of negative things about our relationship which always helps), but the idea of being able to see my new girl more. Though I do miss my ex's company a lot. I am reminded of all the great times we had and then more comparisons follow (new girl wins).

 

I've been tempted to break contact even though it makes no sense. Even spending time with the new girl last night didn't help. It's so darn annoying!!!

[Kimcwell]

Day 30 since I've heard your voice. Feeling better than in the beginning, but reality has sunk in that it really is over. I've given up hope. Even though saying goodbye is the most difficult thing i've ever done, I will always love you and be grateful that you were in my life for at least a little while. I now know that I can truly love unconditionally.

[Amandacast57]

Day 28.

 

How can he just forget about me?

[fscur]

Day 1.

 

The father of my ex had to go to the hospital to do an emergency surgery couple of days ago, and I was in touch with her to see how he was going.. we exchanged some texts and when she said he was in no danger anymore, I decided to go NC.

We work together but we rarely see each other, I think I can manage not to see her there. I've deleted all our messages from my mobile, deleted her number, blocked her on fb.

I am doing this because I want her back. I don't know what I have to do after the NC. But I think we both need this space. My only concern is that she falls in love with someone else. But I am taking the risk.

 

Tks guys.

[bubble16]

surely this should be in the 'healing after breakup or divorce' rather than 'getting back together' forum?