THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Alone Now]

I wanna meet someone too, but not sure if I should yet

 

I would strongly suggest against it. I thought I was ready, I really did think so, but I wasn't and it is just messing me up. I waited about a month when the new guy entered the picture and I found his attention intoxicating. But at the same time I was trying to repair a friendship with my greaest guy friend. I used poor judgement in dating the new guy. He felt right over the phone and in text messages, but when we saw each other I knew I needed more time to myself. I am now convinced that I should have waited.

 

My attention should be on me right now and not on two and three hour phone calls from the new guy. Yes it is terribly exciting but it also very confusing. I am hardly bitter and I'm not sure that I am completely over the wrong guy. I might think I am, but if I am still writing here what does that tell me about myself? I suggested to another enot to slow things down and not to commit to someone so soon and I can only hope she takes my advice as I took hers'.

[Kimcwell]

Day 23

 

Not feeling as good as usual. Trying to balance between what my heart is feeling and what my brain is telling me. Mission is to stop thinking too much.

 

What you said

[Bunney]

Day 5 of NC. I kinda still can't believe we're not talking anymore, it came so sudden. But today I've been feeling better and more hopeful. I hope this feeling will last.

I've been reasoning with myself and stopped putting him on a pedestal. I realized he probably wasn't as awesome as I used to think, and that even if we stayed together, we likely wouldn't have lasted and I may have been the one breaking up with him later down the road. Sometimes I wonder if I should initiate contact with him when I feel like I'm in a better place & am over him, in order to build a friendship, but the next minute I am thinking- he broke my heart, he left me after promising to never give up on us... so he doesn't deserve me nor my friendship.

[Alone Now]

Day 5 of NC. I kinda still can't believe we're not talking anymore, it came so sudden. But today I've been feeling better and more hopeful. I hope this feeling will last.

I've been reasoning with myself and stopped putting him on a pedestal. I realized he probably wasn't as awesome as I used to think, and that even if we stayed together, we likely wouldn't have lasted and I may have been the one breaking up with him later down the road. Sometimes I wonder if I should initiate contact with him when I feel like I'm in a better place & am over him, in order to build a friendship, but the next minute I am thinking- he broke my heart, he left me after promising to never give up on us... so he doesn't deserve me nor my friendship.

 

You are absolutely right but the heart tends to take control unfortunately.

[beaton]

Day 12?!

How is it day 12 already?? Working has kept me really busy.

3 days and I'll be halfway there...

[Amandacast57]

Would you consider seeing someone new so soon? This is my dilemma.

 

No. The last time my ex and I didn't speak for 8 days after a fight. I went out with a guy and he pushed me right back to my ex

[Alone Now]

No. The last time my ex and I didn't speak for 8 days after a fight. I went out with a guy and he pushed me right back to my ex

 

I know the feeling and the last thing I want to do is end up with Mr. Wrong again. I tried explaining this phenonmenon to so one else on enot and she didn't believe me.

[Mellow1]

BACK TO DAY ONE Tomorrow!!

 

What can I say about today, its been one hell of an day. My ex decided to hang out with me but nothing serious just as friends. He told me today that he loves me but he is not in love with me... He also ask out of the blue how would you feel if I find someone else and I told him the truth I wont be his friend if that were to happen because im not going to be a clutch in his life. I don't want to be his second best. I want to be first. I also told him maybe we should not be around each other for a while and he said that maybe thats true, that we should give each other space to miss each other. He said he wasnt talking to anybody because he wants to be free from restriction. It hurt that he said that but we are young and sometimes I feel the same but that not an excuse to break my heart. Anyways we ended up being intimate in the car just for the moment and he said that our sex life just keeps getting better its a habit that he has. Well he took me home after we got a bite to eat and he said things like he wanted to be more passionate instead of in the car. He also reacted or sort of cringed when I said I was leaving to ATL in the summer. He also apologized for assuming I lied to him about my choice of moving over there but I decided not too. He even stayed longer to the point he got tired. Some of these actions are nice but it doesnt make up the fact that hes not here by my side.

 

So Day One Tomorrow, tired of giving in.

[james31]

Day 17... i finally ended up seeing a phycologist about my anxiety and how i handled things over the last few months, ive got a few things to work on but it felt good to talk to someone privately who understands whats going through my head.

 

I went on a first date a few days ago and had an awesome night and we are having dinner and seeing a movie in a few days.

I like this girl, we have alot on common and it just feels right.

 

I am over my ex, i will never get over what she did to me and how selfish and immature she acted but thats down to me choosing not to forgive her...

 

As much as i want to be with the new girl and be happy, i still get the random thought that if amything happens, this will hurt my ex immensly when she finds out.

I had this problem with her in the past, we saw an ex BF of hers who was with his new partner and she was upset for days about it even though she broke up with him.

I dont want to hurt her but i want to be happy... its been over 3 months since the breakup and i know i deserve to be happy.

[Ammieg]

Day 5

 

After my optimistic day yesterday my mood seemed to crash and burn when I had to go up to his floor and see him as I had to talk to a colleague who sits near him. We locked eyes for a brief second. Its the first time I've seen him since we decided it was over.

 

Then had an awful evening/morning, woke up at 5am and couldnt get back to sleep. Just cant stop feeling angry and hurt. Someone please tell me this is going to get better? I cant feel much worse.

 

Been invited by a guy who's very interested in me to go over to his house. Despite me telling him that i'm in no fit state to start a relationship he's still persuing me. As per advice above I might give it a miss despite the fact that it might be better to not be alone right now.

[Ne Moe]

Day 2

 

Hmmmm, am in great form today. Looking forward to the weekend. It's kind of liberating not waiting to hear from him or not thinking about when I should contact him or what I should say.

[IAmFCA]

Thanks AN. Am happy to let my extra ticket go unused, but thank you for your ideas.

[Amandacast57]

So today is 3 WEEKS! 21 DAYS!

 

I thought as I continued that this would get easier. But I kind of feel like it has gotten harder. I feel down, not good enough, etc. I think back to EVERYTHING I did for this guy, literally bent over backwards, and I haven't heard a word. I thought me not contacting him would make him realize what he lost. I guess 3 weeks really isn't that long. But it kills me wondering if he is thinking about me or what he is doing or if he just doesn't care at all. This man told me he loved me, that I was perfect for him and he wanted to marry me.

 

It is hard to think that one day he could just say "Dang, I let a dam good woman get away". But I guess I see that happen from time to time in real life.

[El3216]

I tried to start day 1 yesterday because after the ex treated me like garbage in the morning I thought for sure we could just ignore each other for the final 2 days she lived with me.

 

I got home from work and she says hi ( nicer then usual) and then proceeds to tell me about how she got her eye brows threaded with her friend.. This was strange because just the day before I tried talking to her and she ended up telling me to GFTO of her room and leave her alone.

 

I will start day 1 again today.

[tk80]

I accept the challenge. Was together with the guy half of my life. For full story see my thread "Boyfriend of whole life ignoring me ". I hope it also counts if he is ignoring me, not the opposite. The last time I contacted him was per sms, 2nd of april asking if he is ok and that I haven't heard from him since my return from holidays and that I was worried. No answer...I'm quiet since then. We broke up 8 months ago but had a getting back phase 4 months ago, when he suddenly changed his mind and started dating another girl saying I hurt his pride because I was the one who broke up. I am insanely hurt but on the way of getting better. I reallly want him back as I love him more than I can ever express and cannot imagine marrying someone else or spending the rest of my days with someone else.

[tk80]

Sorry you are not feeling fine, Amandacast57. I have my bad moments too. Mine also asked me to marry him, I was engaged for 4 years BUT....what I keep telling myself is: if this guy doesn't realize how great I am and we were, he is just not smart enough for me. I am doing a lot of sports lately, and close friends say I have never looked better. I go to a lot of social events and try to meet people and when things get really hard I write a letter to him saying how I am feeling, but DO NOT SEND IT. These things are helping me at the moment, maybe it helps you?? I hope so

[Mellow1]

DAY ONE

 

Once again I broke the rule, its hard when you still care for someone and the feelings aren't mutual. Honestly I'm hurt and lonely. I need a friend before I blow my brains out, the stress I get scares me... I wish I had someone to talk to at night.. Life seems to move on without me. The plus side of breaking the rule is that hes struggling with money right now because he has no job, he has negative balance in his bank account and he owe people money... So that what he gets lol i know its wrong to be a little happy that he going through stuff but then again he did hurt my feelings.

[heartbrokengir]

Day 23.

 

Today's weird, not sure if it's the weather or what not, but I feel like sh*^t. I'm not as happy as usual.

[artistnomore]

DAY ONE

 

Once again I broke the rule, its hard when you still care for someone and the feelings aren't mutual. Honestly I'm hurt and lonely. I need a friend before I blow my brains out, the stress I get scares me... I wish I had someone to talk to at night.. Life seems to move on without me. The plus side of breaking the rule is that hes struggling with money right now because he has no job, he has negative balance in his bank account and he owe people money... So that what he gets lol i know its wrong to be a little happy that he going through stuff but then again he did hurt my feelings.

 

 

Im here if you need to talk

[Mellow1]

Im here if you need to talk

Thanks how are you today

[artistnomore]

Going through similar emotions with my ex so I know what your feeling. drop me a PM if you need to vent.

[Mellow1]

Going through similar emotions with my ex so I know what your feeling. drop me a PM if you need to vent.

 

Lol thanks idk how though i'm new to this. I also stop being an artist due to this so your not alone

[artistnomore]

Just click on my username and chose private message. None of us are alone around here!!!

[Mellow1]

I guess i don't see it because i'm using my phone do you mind messaging me

[artistnomore]

I tried but for some reason that option isnt available with your name. You may have pm turned of in your profile