THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[rachellsa]

Lalalollipops you're doing so well!

I woke up this morning, day 8 and the first thing I thought was NOT ANYTHING TO DO WITH HIM Yaaaaay! I've waited 5 weeks for this day, I know that doesnt seem long but waking up everyday for 36 days in complete and utter pain is long enough. Way too long!

I will admit though. Part of me still wishes and wants him to contact me. What is that? I don't want him back at all.

[rocko123]

Day 60-something

 

Lost count, don't really even care anymore. Thought I'd post some poignant lyrics I came accross today that sum up my feelings over the past few months:

 

~~~~~~~~

 

I ain't got nothin but love for you

Love for you I can't use

Lonely nights multiplied by the blues

I can't resolve

Cause it's almost over

Yeah it's almost gone

 

~~~~~~~

 

I'm letting go of the bad feelings and cherishing but not missing the good feelings we had but rather relishing the new parts of my life I found to replace them. Some days it still sucks. Most days it doesn't. Things got better piece-by-piece, one day a little more sunny than the last.

[zep]

I woke up this morning, day 8 and the first thing I thought was NOT ANYTHING TO DO WITH HIM Yaaaaay! I've waited 5 weeks for this day, I know that doesnt seem long but waking up everyday for 36 days in complete and utter pain is long enough. Way too long!

I will admit though. Part of me still wishes and wants him to contact me. What is that? I don't want him back at all.

 

This is a big step! You will have more and more of those days. I think the wanting them to contact you back is an ego thing. So you can reject THEM. perfectly normal

[zep]

Day 23

 

I can't believe how quickly day 30 is coming up! The last few days have been hard to keep NC since my ex has been reaching out so much. But I know its more important now than ever. My gut instinct is telling 100% NC is the right choice. Moving on from this relationship is the right choice. My brain thinks so too, and my heart thinks so about.... 50% of the time! So I think that is big progress. I'm preparing myself for the inevitable backslide. I'm sure it's not all up from here. I think moving will be sad. Fortunately the day after I move out I am going home to the US for Christmas for 3 weeks, so that will definitely get my mind off of it.

 

---------------------

 

On another note, my super stable/responsible older brother was calling and texting me all day today because of a girl! A female friend/FWB who he's madly in love with, but she doesn't want him. And he can't understand. He was talking today about using "business tactics" (he's very successful) he uses to get his clients to do what he wants on the girl!! #-o I of course told him to do NC, but I don't know if he will listen.

 

He doesn't have a ton of experience with dating, even though he's in his 30s, so it was kind of funny to me how confused he was. I wish I could tell him about this site but I don't want him to see all the personal stuff I wrote! He was drinking all weekend straight because of it and even called me from the lobby of the mental health ward, he was about to check himself in! I told him to call a friend to pick him up, make sure he was with a good friend all night and see a therapist in the morning. If he doesn't get any better on his own I think I will give up this site, delete this post and let him have it. It's amazing to see my older brother who I always thought of as soo composed and responsible fall to pieces over a breakup! I guess it happens to all of us.

 

I think over the holidays I will teach him all about NC, breadcrumbs, 'using you to get over you', and above all, that you can make decisions and control things so that you will end up with a wonderful, fulfilling relationship, but you can't force who its going to be with. The business tactic he should be using is "EXIT STRATEGY/dropping a failing investment"

 

And of course the best relationship advice ever my mom told me when I was little: "Pray to love the one you marry, not marry the one you love"

[CutieGirl]

OMG, OMG OMG!!! Have I messed everything up? He broke up with me because his depression had gotten the best of him. I was pretty much his closest source of emotional outlet. I didn't protest the break-up at all. No crying either. I gave him all his stuff and all the gifts he game me and simply told him good-bye, but then because I started getting concerned for his depressed mental state a day later I sent him a text telling him I was still the friend that loved him, prayed for him and was concerned about him, I told him if he needs me, I'm here and to take care of yourself.

 

My 1st objective is to get my head back together, but to also get him to miss me and come back with more sense than he did before.

 

Will the text make him think he can come back anytime he wants? I haven't contacted him again. I deleted his voice mails, texts and FB friendship. I have NO intentions of contacting him again unless he makes an sincere effort to change and reconcile.

 

Did I ruin everything?

[ghost1ee]

Day 1

Okay I just realized my version of NC isn't really NC because I've been stalking my ex's fb and tumblr, even though I haven't really initiated texting or messaging or talking to her at all. It will start today.

 

EDIT: okay I still need to work on prepping my mind for this. I keep getting tempted to visit her pages. But I haven't contacted or talked to her since Sunday. This is day 3 of not talking or texting her at all. I hope my obsession on checking up on her pages disappear soon. It's annoying.

[ghost1ee]

Day 1

Okay this is official. I need this. I think I'm ready. Haven't talked to her since her birthday. Sunday was the first day I have not talked to her. This will officially be my first day. I am now ready to do this. No visiting any of her pages. I will post here everyday giving updates of feelings I've been having for the past day. But yea, I am now ready to do this. This is an oath not to visit any of her pages nor talking/messaging her at all. I know it will be hard but I need to keep track of my feelings. I'll let this be my daily journal of my feelings and experiences. Omg wish me luck. Started around 9:00am so I'll let that mark the beginning of this challenge. This morning, I woke up around 5am but couldn't get back to sleep b/c I was thinking of the loss of my ex from my life. The fact she just cut off communications with me. Told me I was an abusive bf. It really hurts. The fact she fell for another guy and is now talking to him, and this one time, she told me I should sleep because this new guy is online and is now talking to her. I told her why can't she talk both with me and him, and she said she wants to talk to him only, ONLY him. I'm now venting but it's making me feel better. It will get better in time. I hope so.

[lalalollipops]

Day 11

 

Aiming for day 14 first.

[Mistykitty]

Day 6 (yay, finally keeping count)

Its actually kinda funny that he thinks he still has a right to talk to me. Because he doesn't.

Why would he want to talk to me, anyways? He has a ~shiny new girlfriend~

[CutieGirl]

Any advice?

[musicman85]

4 months and 1 week today

 

I've been doing significantly better since the rest of the year, but I still think about her everyday and have been missing her more and more recently. I know that I can't break contact, but I'm not sure what to do. Been dating and meeting new people, but I still feel like she's the love of my life.

 

She's still with the guy that she left me for, but he's just a big dolt according to everyone else.

 

please take a look at my story... any advice is appreciated -

[lalalollipops]

^ hey good job! You should be proud of yourself.

I remember when I managed 4 month NC with sbelse... Good times. -_-.

[rachellsa]

This is a big step! You will have more and more of those days. I think the wanting them to contact you back is an ego thing. So you can reject THEM. perfectly normal

Yeah that's definitely what it is haha. I just don't want him to think I'm sitting in being weak and pathetic. He knew I was upset about the break up and we eended contact on a bad note. I was angry at the time and he baited me. I didn't say anything terrible just it was obvious.

I guess, I just wish he knew I was ok now!

 

Also,daaay 9 today I believe. Milestone tomorrow! Possibly still in the anger/denial phase, though I have actually accepted the break up and that its fully over, still something feels unresolved... Not sure what it is.

[ick]

Day 1

 

Check out my post titled "NC DAY 1 join me help me" in break up section if u want to read up on it.

 

Feel horrible. Barely slept haven't eaten much. Couldn't focus at work. Left to just cry in my car bc I missed her so much. Feeling good about my decision though. Deleted her off all social media. Can't stay off this site. Keeping me sane knowing we're all going through this together.

[ghost1ee]

Day 1

 

Check out my post titled "NC DAY 1 join me help me" in break up section if u want to read up on it.

 

Feel horrible. Barely slept haven't eaten much. Couldn't focus at work. Left to just cry in my car bc I missed her so much. Feeling good about my decision though. Deleted her off all social media. Can't stay off this site. Keeping me sane knowing we're all going through this together.

 

Yea we're all here to console each other. Misery loves company I guess, but it really is helping. I also cried in bed that night after her bday when she really hated me for greeting her a simple happy birthday. I also have problem sleeping because I can't stop thinking about her and the guy she's talking to now. Eating is also a problem, since I don't really have an appetite to eat recently as well. But even with no appetite, I still force myself to eat b/c I know I need it. I'm also Day 1 today officially because starting this morning, I haven't checked up on her social media sites at all. Although I haven't talked to her since Sunday. We'll make it through this horrible time of our lives man, and by the time we get through it, we learn a lesson and our hearts will be stronger for the next time we get involved with love again. I am for sure guarding my heart from now on, and no more long distance relationships for me (since this past one is my first relationship that lasted about 4 years and we never met at all, the whole time was long distance).

[LiveCity]

Hi Team!

 

This is my first time posting to this thread but I am excited for what is to come. Today is day 3 and the ex just sent me some meaningless texts about one of "our" tv shows. I'm going to ignore them but I knew she would be contacting me soon. I wrote a letter to her today (see other posts if you would like) but I did not send it. I was hurting a lot earlier today but I have this high at the moment! I know its still early and this high feeling will fade but this is a small victory for me! I'm off to hot yoga to relieve some stress!

 

Later!!

[NCForeverGirl]

Day 26.

 

Wow. Not long now until 30 days...

 

I'm getting stronger each new day but I'm still thinking about him an awful lot. He hasn't attempted to reach out once and I can't help but wonder... is it really so easy for him? Has he forgot about me already? I wish he did reach out, just so I can get the satisfaction of ignoring him, but him not reaching out doesn't depress me too much because I don't want him back anyway. Even though I still have feelings for him, I know our relationship was a mess and I don't want that again. I feel an emptiness, but overall I'm so much happier without him in my life. I feel much stronger, secure and confident as a person. When I was in contact with him I just felt confused, paranoid and anxious all the while.

 

I'm excited to find out what the second month of NC will be like. This is the longest I've ever gone NC so it will be a new experience for sure.

[zep]

Any advice?

 

I would say the absolute most important thing is accepting it's over. No hope of reconciliation. Once that hope is gone you can really grieve. As long as the "they might come back" idea is dangling in the back of your mind it's just going to be stuck suffering in breakup purgatory not moving forward. These people abandoned us and don't really want us, so there's no way we should want them back. There's soooo many more and better things out there for all of us.

 

So I guess it helps if your ex really does you dirty like mine did, because then your head knows 100% they are bad for you. But I think anytime someone breaks up with the other it means the relationship wasn't right.

 

I'm on day 24! It's still easy. I don't want to talk to my ex. The idea of it makes me feel uncomfortable and awkward. I haven't stayed in contact with any of my ex's ever, and I don't think this one is going to be any different. I'm really getting excited about my new apartment. AND I will see my mini-crush tonight :strawberry:

[zep]

Yeah that's definitely what it is haha. I just don't want him to think I'm sitting in being weak and pathetic. He knew I was upset about the break up and we eended contact on a bad note. I was angry at the time and he baited me. I didn't say anything terrible just it was obvious.

I guess, I just wish he knew I was ok now!

 

Also,daaay 9 today I believe. Milestone tomorrow! Possibly still in the anger/denial phase, though I have actually accepted the break up and that its fully over, still something feels unresolved... Not sure what it is.

 

Day 9 was the hardest day for me. Stay strong!! I think the unresolved feeling will fade with time. As long as we are doing NC our ex's don't think we're being weak and pathetic. I think after 2 weeks of NC they really assume we're over it (unless you tell them you are doing NC, in which case they know the deal. I'm a proponent of the sudden drop-off without warning NC as its more torturous to the evil ex)

[zep]

Hi Team!

 

This is my first time posting to this thread but I am excited for what is to come. Today is day 3 and the ex just sent me some meaningless texts about one of "our" tv shows. I'm going to ignore them but I knew she would be contacting me soon. I wrote a letter to her today (see other posts if you would like) but I did not send it. I was hurting a lot earlier today but I have this high at the moment! I know its still early and this high feeling will fade but this is a small victory for me! I'm off to hot yoga to relieve some stress!

 

Later!!

 

Welcome!! Yea that high in the first week can make it easier, I think most people say week 2 is the hardest. But I think its a good sign if you start week one feeling excited about the breakup/new future/taking control of the situation. There will still be some hard times ahead but I think your head is in the right place. You can do it!!

[ghost1ee]

Day 2

 

The past day was a mix of good and bad feelings. I watched NBA on tv, tried not to think too much of her. I even had some fun time cooking sope with my little bro. It was delicious. My appetite has somewhat increased, but who knows if it'll be stable. My sleeping pattern has gone worse actually though. I slept around midnight, feeling all tired. And then suddenly, my brain tells me to wake up at 3am. I barely got back to sleep, b/c I can't stop thinking about my ex and her new guy. It's really bothering me inside. My chest aches when I try to go to sleep. I was kind of restless in bed since 3am, so I don't know if I ever went back to sleep. By the time I knew it, my alarm is already buzzing at 6:30am. But I don't feel tired waking up so I guess I did went back to sleep somewhat. I am actually feeling better not visiting any of her pages. I think doing those just hurts me more. I will definitely keep this up. I'm sure it will get better with time.

[lalalollipops]

Day 12

 

2 more days to my goal.

[Mistykitty]

Day 7, hooray, a week

 

I'm not sure why today is so much harder =/ I woke up and just cried. This morning's been okay because I was able to lose myself and thoughts in video games, but I have school soon. I get to drive by his house, face all the happy couples at school, etc. etc.

I wonder if he'll contact me sometime.

[JohnGalt]

I am only on day 3 of no contact, but I think i'm at a turning point because I don't think I'll be thinking about my ex anymore. I'm going on a date with a girl I've had a crush on for years. And all i can think about is not messing up.

[Amandacast57]

Day 2

 

I'm ok. Been home sick the last 2 days. It's his loss so I'm not too worried about it. Just made he fooled me to think he was a good person.