THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[IAmFCA]

Dang. Sorry JG.

[IAmFCA]

End of Day 2.

 

My friends are sending me pitiful email. They were over this guy (on my behalf) months ago.

 

I think I am an apologist. Why have I accepted such character flaws? Because I understand them.

 

Thats not enough.

 

I am still obsessing, but at least I am obsessing here.

[kayman]

Day 4

 

It's been four days since I forced her to decide who she wants to be with. She picked the rebound guy. So I'm starting the NC with her and reading lots about Laws of Attraction, believe me it'll do you good. Night times are the worse, I was drinking myself to sleep everyday for the past month of push-pull between me and the rebound guy.

 

But I can only go NC for a week because I have college and we have exactly the same classes. So I'm gonna look my best and hope that she's know that I am the only guy she really loves.

[ideal87]

Day #11

 

Can't believe I've almost reached my goal of 2 weeks. Somebody told me the 2nd week is the hardest, and it most certainly has. Contacting her is so tempting, but nothing good will come out of it if I do. I don't understand life sometimes; a majority of the people on here have been with their ex-SO's for a year, or a few, but we'd only been together for a few months, and I'm feeling the same way they do.

 

Saturday at 7 AM my time will make 2 weeks. I can do this!

[IAmFCA]

Day 3

 

I still can't sleep properly and my new obsession is trying to figure out if I even want him back. Correction: What can I do so that taking him back can be a good idea? How can someone lie like that?

 

I know this means I should leave him even after he comes back. Isn't there a way?

 

Making casual dates to create a new dating network. Ugh.

[rocko123]

Day 9

 

Spent a lot of time yesterday thinking about her. Had lunch with a friend and told her that I wouldn't take the ex back, even if she wanted to. Was that true or me just protecting myself? I've heard things about her (without prying) recently that make me more resolute about not wanting her back and also convinced me to get an STD test.

 

But this woman still has a crazy allure over me. It's inexplicable. No matter how much I try to live my life in the present, no matter how much I take charge at work, and how little contact I have with her, the haunting thoughts remain. I think years from now she'll still have a slight allure over me.

 

NC has to be permanent with her. I'm convinced of it. Any other way and I'll just get sucked right back in.

[IAmFCA]

End of Day 3

 

My girls brought him up today: why doesnt he come over? As on thursdays he would sometimes join us for dinner. I said "B's in TX." "Oh, did he go to break up with the other girl?"

 

I just shrugged. They have so much faith in him. I said "Truth isn't true until its demonstrated." One said But he's demonstrated it so many times! They are so convinced he is in love with me, as would be natural for them based on what they have seen.

 

It makes it harder for me to believe what the ENA community is telling me in no uncertain terms: Don't take him back. He's a mess.

 

So, I am working on that idea now, that I will not be taking him no matter what.

 

Oh, and a SUCCESS story: I did NOT send an article to him today that is relevant to many of our discussions.

[kayman]

Day 5

Yesterday her best friend called me out of the blue but I kept strict NC and didn't pick up. Her best friend texted saying that keep strong and love yourself, I read it and deleted it. I think the NC is really working because her best friend never calls me out of the blue, but only when my ex ask her to check on how I was doing.

[lalalollipops]

Nearly end of day 2.

 

I almost texted him today then stopped myself and just wrote down my feelings on a notepad instead. I feel crap.

[ideal87]

Day #12

 

Not much to say today, feeling indifferent about it at the moment. Spoke to an old friend earlier that I hadn't talked to in forever so that lifted my spirits a bit. 2 more days until my 2 week goal!

[JohnGalt]

Day 1 . . .again. I tried. I really tried. I wasn't going to contact her - - and I didn't. She contacted me telling me that she's unsure of the decision, and has been praying on it. Anyways, we are supposed to meet up this weekend to discuss reconciliation. I am not getting my hopes up, and I will proceed cautiously.

[SalomoNKaloU]

Day 1 . . .again. I tried. I really tried. I wasn't going to contact her - - and I didn't. She contacted me telling me that she's unsure of the decision, and has been praying on it. Anyways, we are supposed to meet up this weekend to discuss reconciliation. I am not getting my hopes up, and I will proceed cautiously.

 

Well i would take those as good news !

 

Day 7 (my record is 11 days)

 

I think about her almost all the day but Im not sad. Hope this memories to go *ck themselves..Im trying to study for Gods sake! XD

[rocko123]

Day 10

 

More emotional today than I have been for most of the NC. Questioning whether I've truly accepted that it's over and she's not coming back. Am I still in denial? I thought I cleared that hurdle miles ago.

 

The truth is that I've been drinking too much, haven't been exercising enough, and have been neglecting the things I set up to distract and improve upon myself. These things combined made it easy for me to fall back into a little pity party over the past few days. Been doing too much fluff, not enough substance.

 

Tomorrow WILL be a better day, one way or another.

[NoGood90]

Was day 10 of NC on Monday but replied to her text, telling her I didn't want to talk to her and threw in I was feeling great (because she asked, and I'd just been promoted at work and got free tickets to see the Arsenal match!) Deleted her reply and now back to day 4 NC... Gets easier by the day.

 

If you feel bad about NC and it's eating you inside, think about how the other person feels, you have control over NC... they don't!

[IAmFCA]

Day 4

 

I posted my terms for reconciliation and my concerns over on the NC thread. They will be there for me if I ever need them, and it is helping me to let go.

 

This weekend, he competes in an IronMan, and otherwise from now till then has uninterrupted time with the FWB-turned-GF. It makes my hands burn kind of, to write that. Anyway, next week will be harder than this one. Next week will be when its obvious that he needs more time to undo what he did, to process where he is going. Its obvious he needs more time, but next week, I dont know, it will be harder.

 

I almost cheated last night: "No picture websites", I know, and I didn't violate that. But I did look up his registration info on the race website,and saw his name and jersey number. Why? I have no idea.

 

God help me if he contacts me next week. I am prepared with my post of terms and concerns, but I am not prepared emotionally. Hope to keep my feet firmly underneath me.

[IAmFCA]

Oh crap I almost FB'd him just now. He has a huge online footprint. MUST RESIST seeing what he is up to!!!

[ideal87]

Day #13. 1 more day to my 14 day goal! Woo Hoo!

 

Yet again, one of those days, emotions all over the place. Happy one minute, missing her the next. Was going through some photos on my iPhone earlier and came accross all the pictures we took on our trip to Vegas. That didn't help my cause out. As much as I love and miss her, I have to keep reminding myself that there's a high chance that even if we did get back together, it wouldn't work out due to us being too incompatible, thus causing more heartbreak in the long run. A friend of mine told me earlier "There's a woman in this world that's just perfect for you; once you find her, there's no looking back". For the love of everything that is holy, I hope he's right...Have a good day guys.

[rocko123]

Day 11

 

No motivation to get out of bed today. I don't want to contact her but I do want to apologize for how things happened. But I won't because I'm getting so close to a milestone that I value.

 

My challenge has always been letting go. I haven't let go yet. I want to but haven't found the strength to do it yet. Little by little, I think I might be. It's the setbacks that suck.

[IAmFCA]

Day 5

 

Today is Day 5. Yesterday, I stayed up too late as I have been, but I didnt wake up at 430.

 

I am even looking forward to the date I made for this weekend. just a "friendly beer", so it wont push me too far out of my comfort zone.

 

I get weak when I stay up too late, and I ALMOST looked at his FB page. I did look at MY FB messages, which have the thumbnails of him and also of his FWB/GF. But I didn't linger.

 

I read the site about How To Attract Your Ex back, and it was good. It recommends 90-day NC. This is what my friend suggested as well. I am not ready to commit to 90 days. But I am happy to get to two weeks, then 4 weeks, then re-evaluate.

 

I am grateful to have a place where I can use the "I" pronoun without guilt and without exhausting my audience.

 

I still am harboring the conflicting ideas that (1) nobody has felt like he did, and (2) whether he could spend a lifetime living the truth. I am still wondering how long I will have to live without him before I can live with him.

 

Day 5. OK.

[lalalollipops]

Nc day 4.

 

Woke up at 4am feeling upset.

Oh well. That's life.

[ideal87]

Day #14. 2 week goal reached! bring it on, week 3!!!

[IAmFCA]

Way to go, ideal87!

[IAmFCA]

Day 5 midnight

 

*** is wrong with me?

 

Ok. when you start obsessing and fighting off FB temptations, its time to go to bed.

[beatlesfan123]

Day 24.

 

Thought I was doing OK, but then came to suspect that my ex is back in the country and living here again, despite her telling me she was gone for good and was going to cancel her phone contract quit her job etc...

 

So tempted to ask friends if they know anything about what's happening, whether to contact... I'm sick of making plans. I'm just gonna carry on NC and ask no questions cause if noone tells me she's here it would be weird. We didn't leave on bad terms, moreso "it's better for both of us I never come back to England" Meh.

[rocko123]

Day 12

 

Weekends are easier if I keep busy. Had an alone night last and was somewhat lonely. Need to get to the point where I'm comfortable with that.

 

Don't have the desire to break NC when I'm on weekend. Work is the weakness.