THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Streetbob]

And I also feel good knowing that this guy had a much bigger c**k than my ex...mwahahaha!

 

Phew! So size isn't everything after all ???

[GrowingUp85]

Day 18 since I've tried to contact her. Feeling super depressed today. I don't know why.

[crazyoflove]

Day 11

 

I miss her more and more as time goes by. I even had a dream of her last night. I have also realised that only way for us to get back together would be for her to realise some things and be ready to work on relationship. I am also becoming more confident that this time it is really the end for us and the more I think of it the more it hurts.

[xmen777]

Day 11

 

I miss her more and more as time goes by. I even had a dream of her last night. I have also realised that only way for us to get back together would be for her to realise some things and be ready to work on relationship. I am also becoming more confident that this time it is really the end for us and the more I think of it the more it hurts.

I'm at the same stage.. It really hurts. I really wanted our relationship to work and would do anything for it.

[Chinafish]

I'm at the same stage.. It really hurts. I really wanted our relationship to work and would do anything for it.

Oh Crazy and X, I really feel for you guys.

 

Keep doing what your doing - I know it feels like the pain will never end but we all know on a logical level that it will. I know the prospect of months or even years of missing them seems insurmountable, but one day it will happen and every day your one step closer to closure.

 

Platitudes I know, but it's still true. Just keep NC and keep posting.

 

All the best my boys xxx

[xmen777]

Oh Crazy and X, I really feel for you guys.

 

Keep doing what your doing - I know it feels like the pain will never end but we all know on a logical level that it will. I know the prospect of months or even years of missing them seems insurmountable, but one day it will happen and every day your one step closer to closure.

 

Platitudes I know, but it's still true. Just keep NC and keep posting.

 

All the best my boys xxx

thanks xxxxx

I've kept NC. Not sure if I'll bump into her again but I'll just be friendly - with limits.

My new date had to go abroad for work so we had to postpone our meeting

[Chinafish]

I'm at the same stage.. It really hurts. I really wanted our relationship to work and would do anything for it.

 

China: I don't really know your story....but do you hope to get back with this guy? You mention that you had a lucky escape.

I'm just wondering why NC would be such a struggle if you are happy to move on?? I know that the brain and heart are often not in Synch from personal experience.

 

Good luck

 

SB

Okay, I've never posted my story, I'll be as succinct as poss

 

Met him last spring. Him LTR, me 18 years marriage. Fell in love (me, can't speak for him) I left husband and children (please don't judge - I have enough of that to deal with) moved in Sept. relationship was always a bit toxic - massive trust issues ( probably due to the manner in which we met) started going a bit pear shaped March. Split in April. I took myself off to LA and posted loads of pics with me n friends. He went ballistic. Started seeing a girl as a knee jerk rebound ( in my opinion) he's still with her, but texts me most days, goes out of his way to see me and has slept over( once in July)

 

I fell completely in love with him, but I know he never really loved me. I gave up so much for him, kids, hubby, job, house, family everything. They were my choices. He never asked me to leave, but he did encourage me. He's not the nicest bf on the planet, but he's a lovely guy.

 

So there it is. He's not good for me - I know that. But would I take him back? In a heartbeat x

[xmen777]

So there it is. He's not good for me - I know that. But would I take him back? In a heartbeat x

Reminds me of my story. She's not that good for me though we shared the same values etc. Her opinions would change in a heart beat.

Loving her would be risking future breakups. As far as I'm aware she's not seeing anyone.

I'd take her back in a heart beat too..

[Chinafish]

Curse those wretched heartbreakers

 

If you haven't already seen it, check out Gluesticks new post in "healing after breakup/divorce" it's absolutely brilliant.

[Chinafish]

Reminds me of my story. She's not that good for me though we shared the same values etc. Her opinions would change in a heart beat.

Loving her would be risking future breakups. As far as I'm aware she's not seeing anyone.

I'd take her back in a heart beat too..

At the risk of looking like I don't pay attention, how long ago was your BU?

[Chinafish]

Neil has either been kidnapped or has no need for us today. Hope it's the latter!!!

[Nolia]

It looks as though you did everything right and you are being pulled closer by her. Maybe she is testing the water or keeping you as an option.

 

How do you feel about it?

 

Would you be set back by meeting her to discuss? If the answer is yes, I would honestly stay away. Stick with the NC and let her make the next move.

Was it a messy breakup? Did she give you the "I just don't feel the same anymore" If that was the case, what has changed since then? If there were some tangible issues and they have been addressed - fair enough!

 

Good luck

 

SB

 

It wasn't a messy breakup, she just said one day she wanted to experience life one day, there was never any hatred or disgust towards one another. She was a little sour but that is because I know she felt bad for doing what she was doing. A major part of the issue Was her parents. They don't like me because of our age difference (7 years) and judged me right away. They told her they didn't want her seeing me awhile back but she stayed with me because we had something special. The friction with her parents probably had a lot to do with this rash decision as she has always said it has nothing to do with me and that she knows she is giving up a great man, but she just couldn't deal with the pressure any longer. I know she still has tremendous feelings for me because it wasn't about that when she left me, as well as her telling me recently that she's been thinking about me and asking if I'm dating anyone. Haven't heard from her in 4 days now after this brief contact from the other day.

 

The day after was tough after not hearing from he for so long, but I actually get a little closure hearing her say I'm on her mind and stuff. Felt good to know that by going no contact on her for 4 months and trying to move on that it actually has her now the one wondering what I'm doin instead of the opposite like I had been doing for the first 2 months after the break up. I have got right back on my path and will not contact her, if she decides tocontact me it will be on my terms and how I'm feeling at that time. I still can't do the whole friend thing right now so it's best to just stay outta sight.

 

Thoughts?

[tness]

I was in day 60 something.

 

I have spoken, meet her, sms her.

 

I'm back to start again..

[xmen777]

BU happened at the very end of june.

[Streetbob]

Just keep on going. Stick with the NC. That's your only option. I would say start dating, moving on and doing stuff for you. Try and switch your mindset from your relationship to something new. Good luck!

[crazyoflove]

Day 12

 

It just gets worse. No matter what I do, who am I with or where I go she is on my mind. The thing that keeps me away from contact is knowing that it would leave all power with her and nothing would really change. I also found myself thinking whether I should have gone NC much sooner instead of trying to make things right. I am also wondering whether I shut all communication lines down with my last sentence. I said then that 'this is last she'll hear from me and I will not bother her anymore'. A thought crossed my mind that she might be scared to contact after these words. But then, she was also determined to push me away after break up and that did not stop me from contact. A thought that really it is over is coming to my head and it is not pleasant feeling.

[Neil123]

Neil has either been kidnapped or has no need for us today. Hope it's the latter!!!

 

ha that made me laugh.

 

I've actually been doing really well recently. Though today's been HARD. I was on the train earlier and as you do, I was looking out for a glimpse of her in the trains going in the opposite direction. Well guess what...I actually saw her! Seriously what are the chances! I recognised the back of her head and then saw her chatting to a boy I know opposite so that confirmed it was her! It put me into panic mode again but I need to get back to recovery. Unfortunately she didn't see me though so it's only me that has to freak out

[Chinafish]

I know that feeling. I get it in waves. But that ultimately is the feeling that will set us free. We can't move on until we've given up the hope, in my opinion, and move on we must.

[xmen777]

I know that feeling. I get it in waves. But that ultimately is the feeling that will set us free. We can't move on until we've given up the hope, in my opinion, and move on we must.

 

I must move on. But I don't wish to give up the hope. Not yet at least.

[Lightning87]

Day 8

 

Still no word from him. Was really missing him yesterday, thought he would have at least text by now to ask how I am but I guess he just doesn't care anymore. The last time he text he said he wanted to meet up to talk and have the proper break up chat but I already had plans. So yeah, on day 8 NC now...

 

I deleted his number/messages/calls from my phone so I can't contact him in a moment of weakness.

[axedog85]

Broke NC today.. Was non chalant through the conversation except asked if she wanted to go for coffee in the next couple weeks and got a 'maybe'. Starting NC as of now, ill leave it to her whether or not she wants to catch up.

[Roundabout]

Day 12

 

Not much to say besides I should've stuck with NC from the get go, would be a lot further along with healing now than I am.

 

Head up, eyes focused on what matters, me.

[Chinafish]

I must move on. But I don't wish to give up the hope. Not yet at least.

 

That's the whole crux of the matter X, I don't think we can move on when we still have hope. I'm two months ahead of you in healing, and I'd say it's only really been the last few weeks when I've honestly been able to say to myself that I can see a future without him that's good. And even then it's just been little glimmers of possibility. I still have the longing for reconciliation.

 

I'm not making much sense here, forgive me. I'm just saying its like an old fashioned scale. On one side is hope and on the other side is moving on. Imagine a grain of sand going onto the moving on side every hour. There's nothing we can do to speed up the trickle of moving on, but we just have to trust that eventually enough sand will fall to tip the balance in our favour. We all, every single one of us, know that eventually we won't feel pain and longing any more. Hope is wretched. Is your ex with anyone? Has she contacted you at all lately?

[Chinafish]

I was in day 60 something.

 

I have spoken, meet her, sms her.

 

I'm back to start again..

T, what happened? Did you call her?

[xmen777]

No she isn't with anyone. She's got a female friend she goes out with now, doing things we used and had planned to do.

She had answered a text message of mine a week ago, after a day. I reminded her of a time we had together and she answered LOL how sweet, take care..

I didn't send anything else. I'm dying to.