THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[blueplanet22]

about 4 weeks

[lonelyheart2]

DAY 16 nic

DAY 8 nc

 

Well the days just drift on by! I don't feel all that much progress really seeing as I should be wayyyyyy past day 8 by now...I have no urge to contact him as the longer I see him not contacting me the more I can stick with it. I feel like he is more a part of my past every day now, if he doesn't contact me I know for sure I'll be able to be over this with no problems. I'm sitting in the library right now with my tea hoping to get some work done...I have to say that every time I come to campus i do feel a bit panicky each time and pray that I don't bump in to him....not much longer to go and that chance will never happen!!! Exciting! Although i have a lot to get done before I can celebrate.....

[potty46]

Day 3:

 

I have been strong for the last few days, got my eating back in order, have gone back to uni... Finally feeling relieved. But today I missed him. I missed him a lot and I'm really concerned for him. He hasn't spoken to anyone (but me, nastily) about what's gone on and how overwhelmed he is feeling being back at uni. I'm worried in due time (soon) uni will fall through his fingers for the last time and he will be more messed up. I know they're his issues, but i still care and only want the best for him. No urge to contact him though, and if I saw him on campus I don't think I'd acknowledge him, not much I can do anymore

[reesaa]

Day 1

 

I am just starting. Been dating a man I met online for 8 months, we seem to fit perfectly in every way. Two days ago he told me that he no longer wants a relationship with me because he is not ready to love me to the next level. My response was to ok, then I let go because I love you and I will respect your decision. His reply was this is not the last of us, we still have a connection. I said, I desire more than a connection I desire a loving relationship. He said....I understand. I would love to continue to have a relationship with him, he is a great guy but I want him to want to be with me. I am doing nc to heal and to prepare myself for either him to come back or someone better. Today it's been hard and I cried thinking about him.

[NANNYSTUDENT]

Day 9---- of official NC (by that I mean I am finally committing to the decision and feel whole heartedly that it is best and the desire to talk isn't there because it isn't positive anymore). My ex is I believe suffering from GIG syndrome.... so that has made the road to this decision a rocky and painful one because I am watching him become someone I don't really recognize... but has also made this batch of NC on my decision an easier one because I realize that RIGHT NOW.... talking serves no purpose except to last out and feel painful reminders that the man I knew is gone (whether it is forever or temporarily-- only time will tell) but I am dealing with reality and know that NC is simply the best thing right now.

 

Although today was tough, because I attended a funeral, in which the daughter (her father passed) said the best thing we can do for her family and to honor her father is to never miss the opportunity that we have to tell someone how much they mean to us and how much we love them. That was tough because I love my ex dearly, deeper than I had ever thought possible, and I hope he knows that. But right now we are simply on different life paths.... tough and heart breaking but I do really hope he knows how much he means to me.

 

Heartbreak is something that is more painful than I ever imagined.

[Moonchill]

Day 1

 

Yes I'm back in the game. I'm don't even want to know that I must get through this process again.

I want to keep NC for a couple of weeks because he has a lot of mental issues he needs to work on on his own. And I sure as hll won't dive into a relationship that seems already to be with someone that has.. lots of unfinished business. So here I am. Trying to keep my distance and give my brains room to think things through and focus on my own life and well being

[lolitalempicka]

Day 15.

 

After starting NC in order to get him back....during past week I realized, and I can freely say...I DON'T want him back anymore

 

Keep up guys, there is a light at the end of tunnel

[TangySour]

Day 15.

 

After starting NC in order to get him back....during past week I realized, and I can freely say...I DON'T want him back anymore

 

Keep up guys, there is a light at the end of tunnel

 

Please share what made you change your mind?

I feel like I will be stuck on wanting to reconcile for a long time to come.

The chances of me finding someone that awesome and compatible with me is insanely low.

[lolitalempicka]

Please share what made you change your mind?

I feel like I will be stuck on wanting to reconcile for a long time to come.

The chances of me finding someone that awesome and compatible with me is insanely low.

 

I believe if you had balanced and strong relationship with an awesome guy, it would be harder for you.

 

I was like you, but it was more that I idealized my ex and our relationship, while he really had some really nasty characteristics which I was denying to look at while with him.

 

After starting NC, hanging out with people, enjoying small things, enjoying LIFE...without thinking at what time I have to be back home, otherwise he will start to question me...I realized that my past relationship was like a stone, stopping me from having carefree life, I was sticking to all his current problems and carrying them on my own shoulder, while me myself...I've got the best possible life I could have, I just didn't know how to appreciate it while being with him and his own problems.

 

And this new guy....happened with a blink of an eye, two weeks ago, I was sending my ex message that I will wait for him as long as it takes. (Big lol now.) I've known this guy since I was in relationship, but never paid any attention to him because I saw only my own current boyfriend. Never thought it would happen so quickly, since I've never been ''rebound'' type, I usually wallowed in my own sorrow for months, even for guys which didn't mean nearly half of what my ex meant now. But, it happened, you see?

 

I'm not immature nor in high-school, but at one point of your life, however it was hard to admit because of pain, you realize you and that other person have nothing else to say or do to each other, and that getting back wouldn't be ''the thing'' which would satisfy you.

 

I asked myself, ''Why I still want him back after all what he done to me?''.

 

The answer was simple - fear of unknown, my own hurt ego because of rejection. I didn't miss him mistreating me, I didn't miss me discovering his dating profiles, I didn't miss his lying about things to make him look better, I didn't miss him forgetting to wish me good night....you get the point, right?

 

Oh, and a lot of dancing, good music, sunshine and beach, helped a lot. Everything what makes you good, everything what makes you the centre of your own universe.

 

Good luck, I'll be happy to help. This forum did a lot for me, I'd like to give something in return.

[TangySour]

Maybe I am so stuck on wanting her back and reconcile with her because it really mostly was my fault. Don't get me wrong, I am not taking blame for everything. Just after taking steps back and seeing the big picture, I really did a number on the relationship. I guess that is why I want to take her back so much. I am aware of what changed in my attitude and personality. It was not the person I truly am. And now that I have myself back... I really want to make it right. But c'est la vie. We sometimes pay the ultimate price for our mistakes.

 

I miss all the smiles, laughs, hugs, kisses, snuggles, etc. I only wish I could have appreciated her and not taken her for granted...

[Moonchill]

Broke NC. Starting over.. soon.. not now.

Just send him an email explaining why I need some time without contact.

I feel like we both are keeping the longing alive by contacting eachother while it is very clear to us both we can not be in a relationship right now. So I'm making this decision with my head. Not with my heart. Cause I want him.

[lonelyheart2]

DAY 17 nic

DAY 9 nc

 

Yesterday I felt good, but that's because I was being social, it's when I'm alone and allowed to ponder over it. I'm honestly not sure about how I feel about him any more....I think I'm in love with the memories not him.

[ramz]

Day 3 of NC, but the real test is next week as it's her Birthday!!

[reesaa]

Day 2

 

Last night I cried…hard because I felt so rejected. It’s a hard pill to swallow to love someone and to be told by that someone that “I love you, you are wonderful in every way, everything I am looking for but I choose not to continue to be in a relationship with you because I am not ready for you, and I can’t honestly say that I am entirely ready to love you to the next level”. Whew…these are the words that stay in my mind. When I finished crying, I had re-validate to myself that yes I am wonderful, so I am going to continue to give you what you want. Today I woke up motivated to not reach out to him, to give both of us time to work through our feelings, time for me to back off and for him to catch up (hopefully). I don’t want to communicate with him in the condition I am in. I will communicate with him when I am back to healthy emotionally. So far each time I have thought about us today it made me smile….not cry. I will take this one day at a time and each day realize I am getting closer to getting through it.

[kschong]

Into my 5th day of NC, ex contacted me! She said "I'm performing this Sunday. Wish you were here."

 

She's a pianist and her recital is coming this weekend. I always go support her and sit by her when she practices piano. When she stumbles into problems, she gets frustrated.

 

Don't know if she meant this as a signal. But I thought I should give her encouragement so I just said "I would if I could. Hang in there." I'm overseas actually, doing an internship somewhere on the opposite side of the world where she lives in. I'll only be back in 6 months time .

 

She than replied 'Thanks, How are you?". I said "Good." and I thought there was something going on I asked "what happened?". Don't know how this is going to turn out but I'll just keep NC is she doesn't reply. NC is the norm for me now, until she actually wants to get back into a proper relationship.

[kschong]

I was given the same treatment. You are not the only one.

[reesaa]

I was given the same treatment. You are not the only one.

 

Thanks. Let's keep being wonderful.

[tily]

Today is Day 2...before I kept contacting him every other day.

 

I honestly don't even know if I should be posting here. Our relationship is in limbo. He keeps telling me he needs time to think about us and still seems angry from The Big Fight we had two weeks ago.

 

Two days ago I told him calmly and firmly that if he doesn't give me an answer by this weekend, we're done. I told him I need to know so I can move on. First he told me, "Do whatever you want. " (Passive aggressive, as usual.) And then he said I can't force him to make a decision. I kept telling him to break things off already, because that's what it seems like he wants to do. But he just won't budge. And he got mad at me for assuming I know exactly what's on his mind. I am so confused. If he is taking this long to make up his mind, isn't it clear that he should just end it by now? I'm getting tired of waiting around for him, and I'm starting to wonder if I should even continue to wait. In the back of my mind, I still have this little flickering of hope that we can get past this roadblock and continue to work through our relationship. But the other side of me has finally accepted that this may not happen.

 

I'm just so tired and frustrated...and part of me wonders if I'm being too impatient. We're college students and midterms were this week, so I realize he's busy, but I just find it hard to believe that he couldn't even spare 10 minutes to see me this whole week. I know him well enough to know there's no way he was studying 24 hours a day.

[flatplane]

NC day 5, saw her at work on Sunday, that was the last time I saw/spoke to her. No idea what's going on with her new bloke and not sure I'm actually that bothered.

 

Would be nice to hear from her, but ultimately I don't want to be in her life as a friend/ emotional crutch, which I get the impression is all she really wants me for at the moment. I contributed a fair bit to the demise of our relationship, and I feel that she should have said what she wanted rather than using (what I know see were) hints. It would also appear that everything I did after we split up pushed her more towards this other guy. The usual pleading, texting, crying stuff. Since I've done NC however I have no idea what's going on and as I say, not sure I'm too bothered. The last text I had said she wanted to "stay in touch". She either wants this new guy, or me. Is it that difficult to figure out.

[imagentleman]

I'm on Day 3 I really miss the old her it really sucks I want her back so bad is been almost 7 months now its funny when I first met the girl she absolutely loved talking to me before we went on our 1 and only date at Disneyland I'm so heart broken right now she doesn't text me at all and barely acknowledges me at work...

[reesaa]

Day 3

 

Still taking it one day at a time. There are certain times of the day that we use to reach out to each other and show that we were thinking of each other every day for eight months, regardless of where we were. Yesterday at those times I felt like someone hit me, I had to pause, tried not to cry, embrace the memory, and then let go of my thoughts, so that I could function. It was hard to let it go because my hope is to have those times again. My motivation for not contacting him today is that I was reminded of something he would say to me when he talked about his previous relationships. He told me that a few of the women he has dated still try to keep in contact with him, and feel the need to tell him about their relationships, etc, and try to get back with him, he said that was annoying to him, and that he wished they would move on. However, he told me over dinner a two weeks ago that I was different from other women, and he has to isolate me when he thinks about me. He said this during the same conversation where he told me that he loves me. Knowing how others have done, and how that makes him feels encourages me to continue to be different. Today I am one day closer to getting through.

[blueplanet22]

Day zero

 

Had to contact - but am cool about it. Had to be done to ask about money owed to me. Straight back to NC.

[Nebraskagirl14]

Day 1 - NC - I did not contact her yesterday - she contacted me to ask if she was allowed to say hi and it was heartbreaking because we have always been friends as well... but I had to tell her that I was done with conversation. I am generally doing okay everyday and pulling through but I question all the time because I want her to leap off a building and tell me that she loves me. Day 1 of NC and she has not lept. I feel sad at times. Other times, I feel good. It's a process. But what feels good to me is having taken my power back and basically said, you can't use me as your emotional tampon when you're dating someone else. I'm out. That felt good.

[NANNYSTUDENT]

10 days NC. My decision. Sticking to it. Cycling through feelings of anger at watching him become a completely different person and moments of disbelief/sadness that he just walked out of my life. Needless to say still smoking cigarettes......! ugh.

[brandnewday47]

Just hit day 30 again with the girl, 11 with her guy (my buddy).... I think I'm going to stop counting as at this point, counting is just keeping me in the past. Really, this is all about me. Not them. Thinking about them is a source of negativity; and I firmly believe like attracts like. So my mindset will be positive and any interactions at work will be postitive but business as usual. Free of the tethers that I had around them, the future will almost certainly bring great things.