minimini Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 Still day 4.... it's almost over though. Oy! I want to check myspace SO bad!! I should just go to sleep. Hope Day 5 is better.... Link to comment
lonelyheart2 Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 Day 11 - I'm starting to wonder if I still have feelings for you or if the reason I feel so crappy is just the fact I feel crappy about my life in general. I imagine sometimes how I would feel if you rang me and asked to meet up....Not going to lie I'd be really happy and excited but I don't think I want to tell you about my life right now. Feeling pretty depressed about not knowing what direction I'm going in, you seem to be absolutely fine and having the time of your life. I don't want you to know I'm doing anything less than amazing, how could you get over me so quickly?! Am I really that forgettable? God I neeeeeed to do something about this self-esteem! Link to comment
HoliPoli Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 I just heard the song "Easy" by Rascal Flatts. It's about how both people miss each other after a BU. Those of us thinking "Why doesn't me miss me?", it might shed some light. Link to comment
Melting Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 Day 3 BU 1st Sept I honestly think I would be alot further along, if I had just gone NC from the start. You see a week after we broke up, he started contacting again... whispering sweet words, saying everything I wanted to hear... He wanted me back, we talked over and over and would take it slow. How foolish was I to think he was being honest? Here I sit alone, not a word from him.... vanished again. Gave me hope and took it away. I should have been alot stronger and ignored every contact. Hence I wouldn't be trying to mend my heart again... silly, silly me.. I have no one to blame but myself Link to comment
businessman Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Does anyone else feel these sentiments: "The love I had for you was real. The love you had for me was real. But our relationship, for better or for worse, simply wasn't strong enough for it to progress forward. It's hard, but I finally accept that it's time for me to work on me. We fell in love at a point in my life where I simply wasn't ready to meet the person of my dreams... but I will be. I don't want to count on it, but I know down the road when you see me again, you won't be able to help yourself falling right back in love for me, and I'll be ready for it. You won't be hearing from me for a long time, but don't think it's because I have forgotten about you. This is my opportunity to become the person I've always wanted to be, and I will still be loving you from a distance. Enjoy your life, and I hope our paths cross again at some point." Link to comment
minimini Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Day 5 Fail.... I couldn't resist... I checked his myspace. Only for a brief moment, but I did. There was just a lame picture of him. Wasn't even worth the cheat. I'm proud of myself for not completely losing it and spending the next hour stalking, which is what I would have normally done. Can I still just say I'm on Day 5? No, never mind... That would be wrong and only cheating myself. ;-) So... Day 1 again. Day FIVE of not stalking. There... I think that's good. Link to comment
Scuza Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 I couldn't resist... I checked his myspace. You HAVE to block your ex on social networks! It never ends well keeping them on there, it's too much temptation. Once you block them and that temptation is no longer there, it is so much easier to heal and keep going. I can vouch on personal experience. Link to comment
jeepman41 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Day 5 Fail.... I couldn't resist... I checked his myspace. Only for a brief moment, but I did. There was just a lame picture of him. Wasn't even worth the cheat. I'm proud of myself for not completely losing it and spending the next hour stalking, which is what I would have normally done. Can I still just say I'm on Day 5? No, never mind... That would be wrong and only cheating myself. ;-) So... Day 1 again. Day FIVE of not stalking. There... I think that's good. No contact means no contact and that includes not looking at their page on social networking sites. Block them to remove the temptation to do so. It might seem hard but it will help you heal which is what NC is for. Link to comment
jbug Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 day 2, im hurting. i miss her a lot Link to comment
minimini Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Hey Scuza and Jeepman41, Thanks for looking out!! I know, I know. NC means NC! I know I'm supposed to look on social networking sites. I've de-friended him from FB and I'm not even on myspace. I'm just able to access his myspace because it's public. What I could block, I have.... there's nothing left. I just have to keep myself from searching. I'm in a decent mood today. I was just making light of the fact that I totally FAILED. I know I'm back to Day 1. Bleh! Link to comment
Raaawr Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Day 3 I woke up feeling terrible, Im not even sure how I managed to get out of bed. Slowly that bad feeling turned into anger. Im angry at her, I want to call her and shout at her and tell her she is an absolute coward! That shes throwing away 2 years because she is afraid of working on the relationship. An absolute coward. That in 6 months or 5 years time when she is coming out of another failed relationship she will look back on this and wonder "what if I only tried". Absolute lazy coward! I cant believe I let her waste 2 years of my life. Link to comment
chrissyoh Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Day 3 over here, weirdly still feel like im waiting for those really bad feelings to come, i do feel really low at some points but somehow manage to snap myself out of it, took over an hour after waking up before i remembered her, im sleeping pretty good as well! i know those bad feelings will come but i know i have absolutely no intention of getting in contact (im almost making it like a competition to myself to not do it and im a terribly competitive person). Still have the rest of the day to go so will see how it pans out onwards and upwards as ever! Link to comment
Tom1990 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Day 2 down. Towards the middle of the day, I was looking at her idly at work. She started to look up at me. I looked away. Urff. I'm not sure how this is going to work. She's surrounded by coworkers who want to make her laugh. I'm surrounded by coworkers who want to avoid me. And we're fifteen feet away from each other. I was tempted to chat online briefly with her about it, but decided to read a book, then watch the new Glee instead. By then, I was too tired to do anything. This morning, I realize any conversation like that can wait until it has to happen. Link to comment
Tom1990 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 We had a thing after work, my department; went to a pool hall/bowling alley. I sat awkwardly for an hour and half then went home. I was reminded of the times when her department went on their own outings, and she would text me every hour saying she wished I was there with her. I wanted to do the same. Link to comment
Tom1990 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Also, the theme song for yesterday was Rachel Berry, "Firework." Link to comment
jbug Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 im on day 2 and feel lost. i really cant imagine seeing her, but i will have to come dec 13. my heart is broken and i feel like a p***y. Link to comment
northpickle Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 DAY 32 NOT having a good day today, not a good day at all. Started out OK, my daughter was off school so took her shopping for a few bits of clothes she needed. We sat down in a cafe and suddenly memories of the ex came rushing back, all the dozens of times we must have gone to a cafe, all the days out where I felt so privileged to be with him. All our trips away. And now, I know nothing about his life, I have no idea what he is doing. It's just so blinking sad Every night we're probably sat in our respective houses, only about a mile away from each other, and neither of us is in each others' lives any more. Perhaps we're both wondering who is going to contact each other first? Perhaps he's happier not hearing from me? I'm split between enjoying the space and at the same time really missing him. I hate this. I'm trying to suppress the thoughts that when we did a particular thing, a day out or a night in, when I felt so happy to be with him, that he just wasn't in love with me like I was with him. Or those last few weeks together where I could almost see things falling apart in front of my eyes, the idea that he was probably struggling with his thoughts and wanting to end things, and I completely reacted the wrong way. I've been doing OK and I suppose I'm just having a bad day. But I feel sad and I feel stupid today, stupid for falling in love with someone who I suppose I knew all along was never going to give me his all. At times I thought he would and it was just his reserved personality holding him back. I really don't know... Someone PLEASE switch my brain off today! Link to comment
lonelyheart2 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Northpickle I know what you mean I wish sometimes i could switch my brain off for a couple of hours every now and again! Or at least remove the memories and thoughts for a while until we can cope with them better! Day 12 for me. It feels so odd having NO idea what you are doing in your life and you have NO idea what I am doing in mine. I can't believe we have gone from being such intimate lovers to complete strangers....I mean if I bumped in to you on campus I really have no idea if I would be able to just stay and chat (what would we talk about?!) or give a quick nodd and leave...would you even acknowledge me yourself? I saw one of your friends today coming out of the college shop (we have never met but I have seen pictures of her and she of me) I am pretty sure we both recognised each other...I wonder if she will mention it to you that she saw me. Probably not seeing as we are in no way a part of each others lives any more. It's been so long I think I may have started to forget many of the memories and how I felt during the time. I know this is a good thing but now I feel I just have a huge empty void where you used to be, why can't I find something else to fill this void???! I have issues...... Link to comment
HoliPoli Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 After sorting out my feelings concerning this previous Monday evening with him I sent the goodbye email. I know I didn't need to do it but wanted to because it cleared up a few things I never got to say. My thought are that since he broke up with me I'm not going to be available as a booty call until he finds someone else. It's disrespectful to myself if I allowed it. I'm going to try to be strong. This is day 2. I don't count the email. Link to comment
lonelyheart2 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 You go HoliPoli! As another post said 'you deserve better!' Link to comment
HoliPoli Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 You go HoliPoli! As another post said 'you deserve better!' Thank you. He had the nerve to send a "good luck" reply that just irritated me. I did write a pretty awesome email though. I'm so proud of myself. Link to comment
Raaawr Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Finding today really hard. I miss hearing about her day. I miss kissing her forehead. I miss everything about her really. I wanna pick up the phone, call a taxi and go to her house and tell her I love her so much. Link to comment
businessman Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Today is day 7 for me. I can't believe I've gone an entire week. When we first broke I up, I struggled going 30 minutes. I guess I've come somewhat of a long way! hhaha Link to comment
Melting Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Day 4 NC I just want him completely out of my life. Working with him sucks big time. Link to comment
HoliPoli Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 Today is day 7 for me. I can't believe I've gone an entire week. When we first broke I up, I struggled going 30 minutes. I guess I've come somewhat of a long way! hhaha Way to go =) Link to comment
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