THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Melting]

BU 1st Sept

 

Day 8 again. If I survive today it will be the longest amount of time NC.

 

I feel like I am starting to go backwards, I thought it was supposed to get better. Yesterday, I was just miserable, thinking about him all the time and neglecting my own life...

[Melting]

Dude!

NC is not for people who have kids!

Certainly not!

 

I agree, NC is very hard when you have children.

 

When I broke with my ex, we have 2 children. I just contacted him when it related to something important.... kids, houses, finances.

[indigoblue]

It's been exactly 3 weeks to date with NC

[eightdoc]

BU 13th August.

NC 13th August.

 

1st thing I did after he left the house was delete all texts, remove all stuff to do with him. Only thing left is facebook and he's hidden on it.

[BlueRose66]

need to release anger that ex didnt give me what I wanted and needed. She gave up, then so did I. It just didnt work, she speaks Hindi and I speak swahili.... Its just sad, to get last email saying "I hope you find what you need, and I am always here."

 

sad, I guess this is the last contact for us, dropping stuff of this weekend. I wish it was different but its not.......

[RitaTrue]

It's been exactly 3 weeks to date with NC

Congratulations! You're almost at the home stretch! After you reach the 4th week, it gets a little easier.

 

BU 13th August.

NC 13th August.

 

1st thing I did after he left the house was delete all texts, remove all stuff to do with him. Only thing left is facebook and he's hidden on it.

You're strong. If he's hidden on Facebook, look on his friend's profile pages. Unless he's blocked you, you'll still be able to see him on their friend's lists instead. And then you can delete or block him that way.

 

need to release anger that ex didnt give me what I wanted and needed. She gave up, then so did I. It just didnt work, she speaks Hindi and I speak swahili.... Its just sad, to get last email saying "I hope you find what you need, and I am always here."

Cultural differences? Welcome to my club.

 

sad, I guess this is the last contact for us, dropping stuff of this weekend. I wish it was different but its not.......

It gets better with time

[RitaTrue]

The ex called yesterday night. My phone was on silent and I didnt know until today. He actually left a message. That means something to me. Usually people skip the voicemail, unless they have to say something important. He left another breadcrumb: "Hi, I just wanna know how you're doing, and how you've been. Call me ANY time."

 

Im glad the phone was silent when he called. I would've been tempted to pick up.

 

Part of me was glad to know he thought about me.

The other part was a little annoyed: he only wants to talk so he can find out how my life's been without him. Nope. Id rather his own mind glamourize my life, than for me to be honest with him.

[unkown1921]

BU:sep 14

NC:sep 24

its the 8th day of nc and its starting to get better, i still think about her alot and how she used to be, but i know shes changed. i had to contact her mom though, she had a interview at a store and I had to relay the message to her. i think i did the mature thing by letting her know.

[RitaTrue]

BU:sep 14

NC:sep 24

its the 8th day of nc and its starting to get better, i still think about her alot and how she used to be, but i know shes changed. i had to contact her mom though, she had a interview at a store and I had to relay the message to her. i think i did the mature thing by letting her know.

 

Letting her know what?

[unkown1921]

letting her know that she had a interview. i mean i could have been immature and not told her but i wouldnt be any better.

[mecastillo1987]

BU: Almost 4 weeks ago

NC: Day 2 (again)

 

I just want to vent.

 

Today, my best friend got married at the City Hall. I was asked to be a witness to the short ceremony. I've been preparing myself emotionally for weeks, because I knew it was going to be hell. And hell it was.

 

The pangs of heartache pushed down on me harder by every passing minute. The exchanging of vows, the wearing of the rings, the I Dos... I ended up crying more than the couple. Ofcourse they came off as tears of joy, but they were actually really tears of pain... I kept remembering how my ex angrily told me he was supposed to propose to me in Singapore.

 

The reception was worse when everyone kept asking me "So when will YOU get married? No plans yet?" I swear, it was like being gutted over and over again. I kept looking at my watch, noting ever hour I was able to pull of the great act of the ever-so-supportive maid-of-honor... and congratulating myself for it. After seven hours of torture, I was brought home -- with the bride's mother talking to me about relationships and how they last.

 

I got home and bawled like a baby again. I feel like I was shot straight back to Level 1. The pain was so raw, it was so difficult to breathe. I even wanted to die for a moment. I assumed prayer position, but was so angry with God I kept saying, "Are you happy?!", "Do you plan to keep torturing me like this?!"

 

I ended up missing my evening class because I was so emotionally drained tonight.

 

Today was supposed to be another month of our relationship. Sometimes, I just see no light at the end of the tunnel at all.

[madine]

Just keep going. You never know what the future will bring. I am sure there will be a day when you are the happiest you've ever been with a person who truly deserves you and you'll look back on these dark days and just thank yourself for not giving up.

[broken123]

Day 7,

I broke no contact since I thought I used her credit card that was saved on my amazon account. I thought it was mine at first and used it, then out of curiosity checked and it was not mine. Stupid me, it was not her card in the first place. Turns out it was one of my old cards... Soo its been 7 days since I talked to her...here we go again

 

And also I have been on a couple of dates which helped tremendously!!

[lemonhaze]

Day 37.

 

Keep getting the urge to contact her, I want to know what is going on in her head. Does she miss me? Does she still stand by her decision or is she having small doubts? The fact that she has not contacted me in all those days leads me to believe that she is still comfortable with her decision.

 

I'm slowly getting stronger, but I still miss her a lot.

[Melting]

Day 9 BU 1st Sept

 

New record for me!

 

I felt quite broken, lost and empty yesterday, but I am a trooper and I will survive.

[unkown1921]

BU:sep 14

NC:sep 24

today is the 9th day and i feel great, just been cleaning out some parts of my house and im thinking about her very little.

and when i do think of her its always the negative times.

[madine]

Day 19

 

I still talk about her way too much amongst friends. I did that when we were together, I still do it. I can't help it, she was part of almost all of my experiences of the last year.

[In the Midst]

Day 22 - No Contact

 

Almost Broke down yesterday. She sent me a request to be her friend on facebook. This was after my last contact where I stated that we should not worry about reaching out to one another due to her new(old) BF moving in with her after I refused.

 

When the request came through on my phone I got kind of emotional. I was tempted to email her and let her know that I couldn't maintain contact and be her friend. But when some advise I just decided to ignore it.

[RitaTrue]

Day 22 - No Contact

 

Almost Broke down yesterday. She sent me a request to be her friend on facebook. This was after my last contact where I stated that we should not worry about reaching out to one another due to her new(old) BF moving in with her after I refused.

 

When the request came through on my phone I got kind of emotional. I was tempted to email her and let her know that I couldn't maintain contact and be her friend. But when some advise I just decided to ignore it.

 

Very smart move. I think after a while of it being ignored, FB automatically rejects the request. But, dont quote me on it....

[RitaTrue]

letting her know that she had a interview. i mean i could have been immature and not told her but i wouldnt be any better.

 

No you wouldnt. And PS, why tell her she has an interview anyway; in fact, why're you talking at all? If she really needs a job, she wont need you to remind her about an interview.

[RitaTrue]

-Day 55

 

There are two break ups that happen for each couple moving apart. The first is the official break up. The second break up is No Contact.

 

I feel that my ex is having a hard time. This is his first break up. He called me asking that I get in touch. I feel that he's really looking for 2 things: an ego boost, and an indirect way to tear me down.

 

Despite what's playing on in my ex's head, I really dont feel like dating around, even for fun. I want to focus exclusively for me. After reading "Great Advice for NC and Break Up", I think Im gonna follow that advice. And make it work out. =]

[iamanne]

NC Day 1

I broke NC after he sent me flowers etc etc etc.. ang again, stupid as I've always been, I gave him another chance. I found out 3 weeks ago that he emailed the hooker he slept with when he was assigned to work in Singapore, telling her he's been thinking about her and even sent her a link to a youtube video of Can't Get Away. I was so furious I decided to go on NC. I was able to do it for 3 weeks. and again, he texted me, "I know I am to blame for the way things are and I am sorry. I miss the Anne I fell in love with and I miss you". Wow... and again, the stupid me reigned over but i didn't contact him and he was the one who called me first.

 

I texted him last night telling him I've forgiven him but barely 30mins after, I decided to check on his yahoo (he gave me access to all his accounts, including at&t where i can view all the people he texts and calls just so i'd believe that he's not fooling around anymore) and saw a message on the conversation folder that says Hello there. I looked up the profile on FB and saw that it's a woman from the Phils but she's currently a domestic helper in Thailand. Yes I felt so insulted yet again, I live a decent life, I'm a software engineer and the girls he had were hookers, and now, a domestic helper. I have nothing against domestic helpers but I am totally furious. I decided to send him an sms and asked him to change all his passwords. Enough is enough, i have no reason to stay anymore because for 2 1/2 years, it has always been like that, it's an endless display of showing me that I am never enough, when I get mad and he knows I'm pulling away he will send me flowers etc, tell me how much he loves me. I'm tired of it and I just want to be able to move on and forget. I deleted and blocked him from my online profiles as well. I deleted his number from my phone. By the way, we are on a long distance relationship. I went to Singapore twice for him when he was stationed there but now he's back in Mississippi. He's divorced with 3 kids. I am a single mom and I have a 6yr old. I have been very nice to his kids, sending them gifts all the time, but there wasn't a single time he bothered to even remember my son's birthday. I dunno.. I am just feeling so empty right now. Sometimes I wish I am near him so at least I can defend myself, punch him if I have to but I feel so helpless coz I've got nothing to defend myself with. I only have words and nothing else. he keeps telling me he loves me but then again he won't stop cheating on me. How the h*ll can someone tell another that he loves her when he's doing that? his words don't match his actions.

[unkown1921]

no im not talking to her at all. all i did was tell her mom.

[unkown1921]

BU:sep 14

NC:sep 24

today marks the tenth day of nc and for the most part it was going great, until one of her friends emailed me asking me what happened and that it was a shame that we broke up. then i found a picture of me and her while i was cleaning then i couldnt stop thinking of her. didnt try to contact her or anything though.

[unkown1921]

BU:sep 14

NC:sep 24

today marks the tenth day of nc and for the most part it was going great, until one of her friends emailed me asking me what happened and that it was a shame that we broke up. then i found a picture of me and her while i was cleaning then i couldnt stop thinking of her. didnt try to contact her or anything though.

 

update she contacted me today about giving back my suitcase, then she started to have a conversation with me, idk i think i stayed too long. but should i take this as a sign she may be missing me?