broken123 Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Day 7... The ex girlfriend broke up with me about 3 months ago. I have tried no contact a couple of times and made it to around 30 days before caving each time. I think all hope is lost that she never really tried to contact me. She did seem very excited however when i broke the contact in the past..aahh idk The relationship was about 4 and a half years long so its tough right now... Link to comment
broken123 Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 by the way the reason for her leaving me was because of lost feelings..and today would have been our 5 year anniversary.. In the past she has broken up with me a few other times because of lost feelings as well. Supposedly there was a guy involved this time that she was emotionally cheating with...can it get any worse lol Link to comment
broken123 Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Almost contacted him yesterday. I wanted to so bad but I told myself that if i still felt the same way in the morning then i'd do it. i still do but i won't. I'm going away for the weekend so that's good. I CAN DO THIS! 36% done! Good job on holding back on calling him once you leave the thought of calling them sit for awhile, you feel ten times better knowing you didn't. It always felt like I was back to square one whenever I would call her and I ended up feeling worse Link to comment
broken123 Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 DAY 14 - 2 WEEKS (blimey!) It's actually quite sad that it ever came to this. It's like everything has gone full circle, and back to how things were before we ever got together, almost like our relationship never happened. 2 weeks since I last saw you in the flesh and spoke to you. There's so much I want to say to you but what good would it do really? I feel so silly that I let you walk into my life, pick me up, shake me about and then just drop me off at the end. What did you ever want from me? Exactly how I feel with my situation. It really does not seem that we were ever together. It is kind of scary to think about that. However, this only means one thing, I am that much closer to healing. Link to comment
Melting Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Day 3 BU Sept 1 So many mixed emotions, just basically feel used by you. Link to comment
Lostlove26 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 by the way the reason for her leaving me was because of lost feelings..and today would have been our 5 year anniversary.. In the past she has broken up with me a few other times because of lost feelings as well. Supposedly there was a guy involved this time that she was emotionally cheating with...can it get any worse lol Feel better it hurts when you know there with someone else.. i hate it.. Link to comment
Lostlove26 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Having another one of those days always towards the weekend maybe cuz i miss cuddling and just watching movies the thought of you with her makes me so used. I don't understand how you could get over me so quickly...At this point I hope it catches up to you and that what goes around comes aroud Link to comment
Sanity Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Day 14... Finally 2 weeks! Link to comment
RitaTrue Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Day 37 I was almost about to check my old email address, the one I gave my ex,to see if he had tried contacting me again. But before I logged on, I caught myself. And clicked out the page. Ever since he sent me those breadcrumbs 4 days ago, even though I avoid responding, I find myself looking back on that email address, to see if he's said anything else. Bad habit. Need to stop doing that. Link to comment
RitaTrue Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Day 14... Finally 2 weeks! I know its hard to believe you made it this far. Or at least I did, when I got to the 2 week mark. Kudos to you! Link to comment
Sanity Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I know its hard to believe you made it this far. Or at least I did, when I got to the 2 week mark. Kudos to you! Thank you Been contemplating on the whole happy birthday wish. A lot of people in my life says it was alright to wish her whilst the forum says no. Damn it, all over a birthday. Link to comment
SudoMB Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Day 4.. Have been reading some great books, they are of course things that would help towards reconciliation....but the more time passes, and the more family and friends I consult with the details, the more they seem to feel it might have been for the better. At first it was the loss, the confusion, but the more I spend with introspection, the more I start to really wonder if you hadn't checked out of the relationship before I initiated the breakup.. and that's why me coming back threw more turmoil in your life. So many things unresolved still, so many doubts and questions...it's weird because these are feelings that seem to be conveyed more by the dumpee, not the dumper trying to get back together..I feel as this time I've been dumped, setup for failure at your given attempt to become friends again, anger, resentment anger resentment. I wish you'd read this book I'm reading, I know you're emotionally intelligent enough to see after even half way through the book where we went wrong and why it would be worth it to fix.... but it just feels like you were so quick to replace me, you say its not romantic, but how can I believe that after you said you almost did start a rebound relationship with your new skype buddy... I'll just keep praying that one day you'll mature enough to want to sort out your involvement in all this and reach out to reconcile.. Link to comment
Melting Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Aaaargh so mad with myself. Made it to Day 3 and contacted him.... Grrrrrrrrrr @ me. Back to day 1 tomorrow *sigh* Link to comment
RitaTrue Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Thank you Been contemplating on the whole happy birthday wish. A lot of people in my life says it was alright to wish her whilst the forum says no. Damn it, all over a birthday. I doubt the people in your life are dealing with a break up though Yep, NC, ftw! ^(^__^)^ Link to comment
RitaTrue Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Day 37 I was almost about to check my old email address, the one I gave my ex,to see if he had tried contacting me again. But before I logged on, I caught myself. And clicked out the page. Ever since he sent me those breadcrumbs 4 days ago, even though I avoid responding, I find myself looking back on that email address, to see if he's said anything else. Bad habit. Need to stop doing that. Holy Moley, how ironic! After I wrote this, I relaxed on the bed. I heard my cell start buzzing in the other room, but I just shrugged it off thinking it was one of my other friends who I texted earlier, and felt too lazy to answer back. I just looked at my phone. It was my EX! Wow, the ole' saying is right: People want what they cant have. Although I do feel sorry for him a little more now, at this point, I'd feel too awkward talking to him: We havent talked in so long. And all we'd talk about are his school, and how he feels about the break up--and all of that would just be to make HIM feel better, not me. No, I'm on the other side of the table now. Before, when we were just "friends", he felt better all the time, but *I* was the one hurting. Now, with NC, the table's have turned: I feel more in control of myself, and HE's the one hurting. I'm not wishing him hurt, but I am amazed at how he wants to contact me, once he sees I wont answer. Link to comment
Sanity Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I believe when an ex starts calling that it would make healing easier. I'm happy for you and hope you don't cave in! At least let him feel the emotions that you have been feeling, not out of spite but for his own well-being. Link to comment
fortune Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Sorry missed the beginning of the challenge... Day 90 I think. Removed him from fb, msn, skype, email , cell phone on day one. 1 month post BU he called my sister to ask how I was that he thought about me a lot but that he had to make a long term decision at the time (BTW he is not close to my sister). I was already weepy, but that made me cry consistently for two days.And overanalyse the meaning of the phonecall of course. 2 month post BU he wrote my sister to ask if there was any ''serious'' reason she had removed him from her friends on FBook.That gave me some relief, because I was CERTAIN it had something to do with me, thought about it a lot than cried a lot when I realised it was neither here nor there. 2 1/2 months post BU he called my sister to give his sympathies for the passing of someone they both knew (it was odd). That gave me more relief, and I did not cry, I am just maybe getting used to having indirest news I guess. I have never contacted in any shape way or form since the BU. Have no news since 2 weeks and feel significantly improved (it's still a struggle though). Have been doing cardio at the gym (totally new to me) for the last 4 weeks and it really really helps. For the last 24-48 hours have been thinking that maybe he was not so great after all and don't know if I would take him back. Mostly worried if I will genuinely be excited about anything again. Starting to hope that he won't contact me for fear of being screwed up Link to comment
northpickle Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 DAY 15 Very nearly contacted him last night, I quite literally had to drag myself to bed and make myself go to sleep in case if I pondered the decision any longer, I would cave in and send a text. Maybe it's because I initiated NC straight away, I was only thinking of sending a reply to his one and only breadcrumb text two days in, and to say I was OK. But then I realised I still wasn't in a position to speak to him really. I DO still miss him and my brain is still in overdrive, and the weekends have been the hardest, so if we were to open communication on a weekend it would be the worst time for me. Maybe it's because we left it in a bit of a limbo, he was sure of his decision, that I know. But I don't think we talked things through well as we were both so messed up and sad But he knows how I feel. I just hope one day we can be back together Link to comment
jeepman41 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Aaaargh so mad with myself. Made it to Day 3 and contacted him.... Grrrrrrrrrr @ me. Back to day 1 tomorrow *sigh* You seem to keep repeating this pattern of behavior and you will never even begin to start healing until you resolve to put yourself first. You have it within you to do this. I'm sure posters on this forum will help you but you just have to take it one day at a time. Link to comment
northpickle Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Exactly how I feel with my situation. It really does not seem that we were ever together. It is kind of scary to think about that. However, this only means one thing, I am that much closer to healing. It is a bit scary, he's out partying with friends that we both used to hang out with together (that's how we met). But I can't put myself back into that yet. So it's exactly like it was at the start except I'm the isolated one! Link to comment
broken123 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Day 8 Feeling good this morning. One of the first days i have not been pining over my ex right when i wake up. Each day brings me closer and closer to my goal. I am not turning back this time....I have messed this up two times before. Link to comment
broken123 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Wow Jeepman...that is quite the accomplishment with 141 NC days. Great job!! Has the ex even tried to call you or anything?? Link to comment
madine Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Day 2. I'm sure she has fallen for someone else This guy is also a member of our political organisation, so he was also present the day before yesterday. And... he coincidentally happens to be one of her new roommates. After having checked the guys Facebook about two months ago I immediately predicted she would totally fall for him. And she was so flirting with him right in front of me. Her finding a new boyfriend is inevitable, but couldn't it be someone not from the organisation so I would not have to actually watch it happen. I feel really really bad. Link to comment
SudoMB Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Day 1, Broke NC, finished the book and figured id give a shot at what I learned. Not in the attempts to get her back, but more so we could both come to terms with how the last exchange happened. An attempt to truly express the feelings I had while it was melting down in front of my eyes. This is to help reinforce into her, that the door is always open for reconciliation of some sorts. I believe we've both a lot to learn from what happened, It just frustrates me that she so easily moved on to bury herself with those folks so quickly.. Link to comment
aev Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 54 days since we ran into each other at a party and I slipped and texted him afterwards, 92 days since NC was mutually initiated. I've stopped counting. At some point, days turn into weeks, and suddenly you're counting in months and you wonder how that ever happened. To all of you who are just starting this process: KEEP GOING! Taking this distance in the best thing you can do for yourself. It gives you the opportunity to let the emotional dust settle, figure out who you are, and feel good again. Moving on means moving on from the hurt, resentment, and agony of the breakup and rejection. Once you let all of that go, then there's enough room in your life to be really happy, and to truly live in the present. If you think you're ready to break NC, this is the test I always do: I wait a week. If my gut response is, "Oh, god, not another week!" then I'm not quite ready. If you still feel any need to contact them, then you're still too vulnerable. It's only when the need is totally gone, and it's a want that you can live without, that you're healed enough. Good luck, all of you. Take it from me - it does get easier! Just keep going. Stay busy, and keep looking forward. Link to comment
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