THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Moonchill]

Thank you NC, thank you No Contact Challenge!

 

You guys out here helped me so much going through this phase. It was a bit like a detox. I had my good times and my bad.

But besides a text message or 2...

 

Veni,Vidi,Vici!

 

I can't say I do no longer care about him. I still do. I can't say he doesn't have any hold on me anymore. He still does. But NC helped to get it to an amount I can live with. I can live without him. I can live with the idea and probably the fact we will not get together again in the future. I will not be able to be friends with him. I'm finally honestly ok.

I never thought such a short relationship would have this impact on me. But he made me realize what I really need in a man and really want. I never thought what I really enjoyed in a relationship till I met him.

So thank you J. Thank you for showing me what I was worth. Thanks for introducing me to your inspiring life and state of mind.

 

But it's time to stop reading at this forum. And on this site. The longer I am on this site the more I wonder about my exes. About my past. So it's time for me to let this go and use it again when I need it.

( because I don't expect my love-life to be perfect, it never has and never will )

 

Bye.

[DerekJason]

Welcome. All the luck to you.

 

thank you very much, i feel the need to post my story in a new thread for views/perspective on the matter, i dont wanna tank anybody out tho as it might be long, dont worry i wont post text convos.

[mending23]

Back at NC - She told me yesterday "I just want to be friends right now" ....I can't do that....I'm unfortunately starting to imagine my life w/o you as hard as that is. I never really thought I could do that but it's been a month since we broke up and we've spoke every week...maybe after a couple months of not speaking you'll realize what we could have...maybe not. Either way...it's time for total NC. You'll get a smile in the hallway if we pass by at work, however, nothing more nothing less. I wish things were different, however, you obviously have your thoughts set elsewhere. It's so weird...it's like I don't even know you anymore...6 months of friendship and 14 more months of dating...just poof. That's probably the oddest feeling on them all....like I don't even know you.

[DerekJason]

6 months of friendship and 14 more months of dating...just poof. That's probably the oddest feeling on them all....like I don't even know you.

 

Hate it. No warning or nothing.

[lonelyheart2]

Day three again...I'm angry that I broke nc just to give him reassurance about a stupid dream he had. I hate that I'm more affected by this all than him. I hate the way I keep seeing him talking about how awful england is...it sounds odd but it kind of feels like he's insulting me. MUST STICK TO NC THIS TIME!

[Melting]

Back to Day 1 again.... I broke NC

[RitaTrue]

Day 1 .... This is going to be a hard, sad day.

 

We're here for you.

 

Day 23

I feel like I think about my ex too much--possibly because of this thread, or this site. Kinda like how when you say "DONT think about something" it MAKES you THINK about it even more.

 

I was pathetic. I know I blocked him, but I still searched for his page. Of course it didnt show up. Oh well, some people have recommended deactivating FB, but I dont want to. I like FB. I like talking with my friends and learning about their lives. I'm not letting my ex take that from me.

[wyrllish]

[quote

 

Day 23

I feel like I think about my ex too much--possibly because of this thread, or this site. Kinda like how when you say "DONT think about something" it MAKES you THINK about it even more.

 

 

This is true in my past situation. I knew I had come so far when I no longer needed to visit this board for my problem. When I did come it was to help others by giving insight into their problems. Was a big step for me.

[Imprimatur]

I just broke non contact after 9 days...stupid stupid. I was warned not to, but I did it anyway and for no good reason. I was weak. We texted, it was light enough, but I know she is over me, and not looking back as far as I can tell and that stings. Why do I still hold out hope? because I can't help but think she will remember the good we had. and change her mind.

 

I need to take her down off that pedestal and turn off the hurt switch.

[RitaTrue]

This is true in my past situation. I knew I had come so far when I no longer needed to visit this board for my problem. When I did come it was to help others by giving insight into their problems. Was a big step for me.

 

So you had to take a break from the boards to heal better?

[gamergirl]

I'm restarting NC as of tomorrow.

 

You are going abroad tomorrow with your class... and her... because she is in your class.

You already kissed, I know if you get the chance to sleep with her you'll take it. She's older than you, has more life experience... been travelling the world, doing crazy stuff... no wonder you find her so interesting.

 

Okay, shouldn't compare myself to her. I should be proud of who I am and not let this get to me. It's hard though.

 

You said you'd come by today to get the last of your stuff. Haven't heard anything since Thursday about it so I'm not sure that you'll come. I hope you do though. Would be nice to see you again. Told you this past Thursday that it was good to see you again. You just smiled and said "okay".

You talked a lot about the trip, about where you're going to live and what you're going to do. Sounds like you'll have the time of your life.

 

I have so much to do in school, but I can't focus. Everytime I try I keep seeing pictures of you and her sleeping together, how you enjoy it... that's the worst part. That you'll enjoy it...

[markyx1]

broke NC last tuesday to congratulate her on her new job. WE exchange text and she told me about how she is afraid of something. Told her she will be fine and i will pray for her safety and all her family. never text her since then. then come thursday, she have known from a common friend that i was not feeling well and she text me telling me she cooked a special soup which will be good for me (we live about 100 meters away, which makes it hard). I replied only after 2 hrs telling her i have slept thats why my reply was late, i thank her for her concern, nothing morel. NC again friday. Come saturday, she text asking me how am i doing. Should i reply? Hell, i don't know?

 

she's been doing this all the time, texting me every other day. longest NC was 4 days so far. texting me how i was doing, asking me to come over for family dinner, blah blah blah...

 

Sometimes i have this feeling that i don't care anymore. But of course, i will always care. What the hell am i thinking?

[madine]

Day 26.

 

I hope I do not run into you tonight. It's going to happen eventually, there is no way around it. But not yet please.

[David271]

I am a 64 year okl male, GF is 62. We had a four year relationship. She broke up with me about six weeks ago by text!!! I sent the NC letter six days ago. Its been a struggle each day. I'm following the NC plan to the letter. I have some great friends, that have really help me. Two of them are a couple. They both know my ex. Its really nice to get a woman's point of view. The one thing I can't understand is that I'm told she is mad about the breakup. I don't know why? She was the dumper. There was no cheating on each other, no drugs and we both got along with both families very well. Only problem we had was sex. I know now I put too much pressure about our sex life. After seeing a lot of my therapist, I've come to the conclusion she give me up as it was easiest thing to do. She has always had bunches of stressor in her live. She lives in the past. She lost a favorite Aunt, her father and her husband during a six year period. She has stress because her daughter lives a long distance away. Who is quite happy. Stress about her son's past. Yes he was a jerk in his teens but now he is doing great and has happy family. Stress about the upkeep of her house, inside and outside. It was the easiest of all her stressors!!! Our mutal friends have seen this depression she takes herself to. she gets so depress, she goes to bed. Then a few days later she is seeing a doctor, that happens about four or five times a year.

 

I also know this is the best thing that has happened to me. With therapy, I have learn so munch. I even went to a sex therapist. She was awesome. I thought all we would discuss was sex. Instead we talk about the emotions of sex. It was awesome. I know all the problems I've created and the ones she created, we were both at fault. Well, maybe me a little more. lol But I do know this problem is fixable, but its has to be the both of us.

 

So while I'm not waiting for that phone call (lol), I'm working on myself. I've reconnected with old friends and made new ones. I've started hobbies, dance lessons and I workout. Got some great advise about clothing. Man I look awesome now. I get invititations just about anywhere I go. I try not refused but its hard sometimes. lol

I've got a couple of girls, thru the grapevine, want to date me. But you know what I'm having too munch enjoying the single life. lol Writing this, maybe I should get back into the saddle. If nothing else,just to enjoy dinner and movie. I miss that.

 

These breakups have no age limit. Its the same emotions if you are in your teens or a senior citizen.

 

Good luck everyone and pray.

[David271]

Don't give up. It will be hardest thing you ever will every do. Resend the NC letter. Then put yourself back together. Follow the plan to the letter. Get a buddy and make some friends.

 

It will work, if you stay strone.

[David271]

Read the plan, its tell you how to handle that situation. You are beating yourself up. You gave back the control you had with the NC letter. She has all the power now. That's why your are waiting for her to contact you again. You have lost the control. Its time to man up and work on yourself.

 

Good luck

[David271]

The NC will give both of you time to heal. Time for you to follow the plan to a T. It will hurt but it will work. She just needs space. thats the best gift you can give at this moment. resend the NC letter.

[David271]

Were you the dumper? If he was the dumper, sounds like he is enjoying the single life.

[markyx1]

She is the one who broke up with me after more than 3 years of relationship.

 

Yes, l also thought that she might be having the time of her life. But I remember once that she said after the BU that she looked ok but not really ok. She is a very sensitive type of person.

 

When she told me that she wants to be out of the relationship, of course i cant believe it. She told me she wanted to put her life goals first before her lovelife. We even went to an out for a vacation, but that did not stop her from going away. When we went home, she wanted the BU for good. Of course theres the begging and pleading, but you know all the horror with those kind of things.

 

Then she text me 2 weeks after the BU that she is already seeing someone, and that they are already seeing each other for 2 weeks already. Seems, she broke up with me for him. GIGS maybe, i dont know.

 

Wrote her NC letter after that, but she kept on communicating with me. Been 2 months already.

 

Anyway, i dont plan on replying from this point on.

 

Sorry for high jacking the thread. I really do.

[Melting]

Day 2 All I do is think of you every second of every day. I wish I never cared that much about you.

[markyx1]

i dont know what she was trying to do.

 

i happen to accidentally cross paths just this morning and she was all smiles asking me where i am going. i gave her a cold shoulder telling her i'm going somewhere and hurriedly left her alone.

 

after a few hours, she text me telling me that she knows what i was thinking and that the changes that i have shown to her speaks very well to her. she added that "i should kindly open my heart".

 

it's killing me really. it kills me that after all this, i still over analyze each word and deed that she makes. What i really wanted now is to just focus on myself, but i cant because she keeps pooping up.

 

but in the hindsight, i feel glad that she is contacting me. it feels good to have the power. but do i want power? hell no! i'm not the type of person who enjoys playing games. of course i want her to regret her decision, but i don't want her to suffer at all.

 

when we broke up, i asked her for reasons and the reasons she gave, i can never comprehend. i seem that she herself don't know the reason. all she knows is she wants out. it is something that she just have to do. at least that is what i understand.

 

now i don't understand even myself.

[DerekJason]

remain distant, marky mark. good luck

[Melting]

Argh I messed up and contacted him and he ignored me.... I feel like an idiot!

[DerekJason]

i refuse to contact when its one sided. i feel like trash when i do.

[gamergirl]

Day 1

 

I met you yesterday, you picked up your stuff and we had dinner together. I just enjoy your company so much, can't help myself. Whenever I look at you I feel so sad that you aren't mine anymore.

You went out with some friends Friday night, spent the night at that girl's home.... alone... in the same bed.

"Nothing happened", you said.

I guess I have to believe you.

 

It's been over two months since you left me with talk about "I want to be alone", "I can't handle the responsibility in a relationship", "I don't love you like that anymore".

 

I haven't done NC before because you still lived in my place for about a month, then you moved out and I started to sleep with you. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

 

I've given you everything! My heart, my body, my mind.

 

I'm doing NC now to heal properly. I still hope that you'll come back to me. I really do. But that's not my goal anymore. I'm tired of giving and giving and giving and get nothing in return...

 

You still owe me money though... asked you about them yesterday.

 

"You'll get them soon, I must have my money during the trip", you said.

 

I felt like crying but said without any emotion: "Okay."

 

 

Guys, what do you think? Is it too late to get back together? Will I ever heal?