After 2 weeks, broke contact last night when she text me asking how i was doin. I know i should not have responded, but well, its done already. Nothing more i can do. I even had a drink with her and some place in there place. She even have the guts to ask if im dating someone already, replied back by asking her why she wants to know that. No answer from her. Next text, she still wants as to be good friends, nothing new in that. I replied that it is her decision if she wants us to be friends and added that it would be good if we become friends after owning responsibility for our past actions and that she must mean what she says and say what she means.
I dont know her intentions why after hurting me so much she want me around to be her friend. Anyway, told her that i dont care what her intentions are. in thrut i wanted to know, but i know that for my own good, i should not care any of it.
During our drink with our friends, i notice changes in her, she seem to have more control in herself now. Notice that she has gained some weight. Notice also that she somehow avoids seeing me in the eye and wants only small talk which is what i like also.
How did i feel after that? Hell! Wasnt able to sleep the night after, thinking of the break up again. I felt like it was day one of the break up. i should keep the NC.
This time i really appreciate the value of NC and why you have to do it. It is for yourself. For you to keep all your emotions in check. i felt a lot better during the NC days, but after breaking it down, i felt like S**T again. Now i am determined to keep NC knowing that she is gonna contact me again to check on me. I know she will do it.
I really think that one of the cause of the break up was communication issues. That is the reason that a 100% NC might not work for us. Besides she is a very sensitive person, remember she thinks that i never listened to her desires when we are still together. She maybe right in that area, i might truly have neglected her a bit during that time.
With that i plan to reply to her text in a short and polite manner when she text again. just keep it polite and short. I want to go on with my life, i know that that is the only way. To make myself better, not for her but for myself. i will make myself the person i initially was, even better.
Any thoughts? Thanks guys.