markyx1

After 2 weeks, broke contact last night when she text me asking how i was doin. I know i should not have responded, but well, its done already. Nothing more i can do. I even had a drink with her and some place in there place. She even have the guts to ask if im dating someone already, replied back by asking her why she wants to know that. No answer from her. Next text, she still wants as to be good friends, nothing new in that. I replied that it is her decision if she wants us to be friends and added that it would be good if we become friends after owning responsibility for our past actions and that she must mean what she says and say what she means. I dont know her intentions why after hurting me so much she want me around to be her friend. Anyway, told her that i dont care what her intentions are. in thrut i wanted to know, but i know that for my own good, i should not care any of it. During our drink with our friends, i notice changes in her, she seem to have more control in herself now. Notice that she has gained some weight. Notice also that she somehow avoids seeing me in the eye and wants only small talk which is what i like also. How did i feel after that? Hell! Wasnt able to sleep the night after, thinking of the break up again. I felt like it was day one of the break up. i should keep the NC. This time i really appreciate the value of NC and why you have to do it. It is for yourself. For you to keep all your emotions in check. i felt a lot better during the NC days, but after breaking it down, i felt like S**T again. Now i am determined to keep NC knowing that she is gonna contact me again to check on me. I know she will do it. I really think that one of the cause of the break up was communication issues. That is the reason that a 100% NC might not work for us. Besides she is a very sensitive person, remember she thinks that i never listened to her desires when we are still together. She maybe right in that area, i might truly have neglected her a bit during that time. With that i plan to reply to her text in a short and polite manner when she text again. just keep it polite and short. I want to go on with my life, i know that that is the only way. To make myself better, not for her but for myself. i will make myself the person i initially was, even better. Any thoughts? Thanks guys.

i dont know what she was trying to do. i happen to accidentally cross paths just this morning and she was all smiles asking me where i am going. i gave her a cold shoulder telling her i'm going somewhere and hurriedly left her alone. after a few hours, she text me telling me that she knows what i was thinking and that the changes that i have shown to her speaks very well to her. she added that "i should kindly open my heart". it's killing me really. it kills me that after all this, i still over analyze each word and deed that she makes. What i really wanted now is to just focus on myself, but i cant because she keeps pooping up. but in the hindsight, i feel glad that she is contacting me. it feels good to have the power. but do i want power? hell no! i'm not the type of person who enjoys playing games. of course i want her to regret her decision, but i don't want her to suffer at all. when we broke up, i asked her for reasons and the reasons she gave, i can never comprehend. i seem that she herself don't know the reason. all she knows is she wants out. it is something that she just have to do. at least that is what i understand. now i don't understand even myself.

She is the one who broke up with me after more than 3 years of relationship. Yes, l also thought that she might be having the time of her life. But I remember once that she said after the BU that she looked ok but not really ok. She is a very sensitive type of person. When she told me that she wants to be out of the relationship, of course i cant believe it. She told me she wanted to put her life goals first before her lovelife. We even went to an out for a vacation, but that did not stop her from going away. When we went home, she wanted the BU for good. Of course theres the begging and pleading, but you know all the horror with those kind of things. Then she text me 2 weeks after the BU that she is already seeing someone, and that they are already seeing each other for 2 weeks already. Seems, she broke up with me for him. GIGS maybe, i dont know. Wrote her NC letter after that, but she kept on communicating with me. Been 2 months already. Anyway, i dont plan on replying from this point on. Sorry for high jacking the thread. I really do.

broke NC last tuesday to congratulate her on her new job. WE exchange text and she told me about how she is afraid of something. Told her she will be fine and i will pray for her safety and all her family. never text her since then. then come thursday, she have known from a common friend that i was not feeling well and she text me telling me she cooked a special soup which will be good for me (we live about 100 meters away, which makes it hard). I replied only after 2 hrs telling her i have slept thats why my reply was late, i thank her for her concern, nothing morel. NC again friday. Come saturday, she text asking me how am i doing. Should i reply? Hell, i don't know? she's been doing this all the time, texting me every other day. longest NC was 4 days so far. texting me how i was doing, asking me to come over for family dinner, blah blah blah... Sometimes i have this feeling that i don't care anymore. But of course, i will always care. What the hell am i thinking?