THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[apple89]

day 11

 

feel vulnerable, i miss him so much.. i wish i culd know if he was coming back, the only thing i know is that im moving on regardles if he comes back or not.. im still good with myself although i miss him LIKE CRAZY

[simplyme01]

NC DAY 10

 

weekends are the toughest by far. although, i look at this weekend vs last & i was actually very busy & even went out with my sister to watch our college basket ball game & met a friend last night to catch up on things. janeiac, when you said you were lonely, i can so relate to that. sleeping alone, waking up alone, there's such a void. i know i am healing. i've had good days & bad. i know i shouldn't care, but the same questions keep coming to mind, over & over...does he miss me? is he thinking about me? is he hurting? is he seeing anyone, does he have regrets? is he blaming me? i know none of this should matter. i need to take care of me & i am. i think i would like to know that he is hurting too, if even just a little. i'll never know. i have to continue to move forward & take care of me

[Janeiac]

simplyme, maybe you don't have to tell yourself you"shouldn't" or "should" feel a certain way. This is how you feel, and it's fine. What is going to matter in the long term is what you do about it. Keeping busy is good. Try not to focus on the what makes you said. I mean, if your bathwater was too hot, you'd jump out, right? Think happy thoughts

[Love1336]

I broke NC today. Why? To be honest I don't know why.

I'm such an idiot.

My God, he must think he's the best boyfriend in the world.

UGH. I wish i was another person right now.

[Love1336]

UGH!

Why can't I leave you BE?

SERIOUSLY

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

I was DOING SO GOOOD.

But todayyy.... driving by your house

ughhh made me wonder.

DO YOU MISS ME?

DO YOU NEED ME?

I AM SORRY.

I know you MOVED ON.

But why can't I LEAVE YOU ALONE?

[Moonchill]

Day 16

 

I've read his text messages ones again and it still doesn't make sense to me because they all sound so sweet and caring.. I know I should'nt do it...

Maybe that's the reason why I dreamt of him... it seemed so realistic! I dreamt that I was in his appartment and I was looking for him.. I was picking up my stuff and I heard him showering. So I waited for him to show up .. And then we kissed.. The strange thing is he turned into his friend ( my other ex) and I felt betrayed and dissapointed.Then the door opened up and some guys that aren't my type at all saw me and flirted with me

It might be symbolic but it's a bit of a weird dream. It makes me miss him very bad. But I shouldn't have read his messages again. They are from the past.

The open and sweet version of him has faded. The closed and confusing version of him has replaced that.

 

Today I'm going to buy the box! Time for the ex files

 

I'm still staying strong, still NC!

 

Love1336, everyone makes mistakes. It's very hard to keep NC but you have done it for some time so you know you can do it! Keep your head up, don't talk yourself down like this. I am just like you, I want to know if he misses me and if he needs me in his life but the truth is.. you can contact him but you can not look into his brains and pick up his thoughts! If he really misses you that bad he will come up with it. In the mean time just assume he is moving on and you should too. For your own sake Good luck

[simplyme01]

DAY 11

 

Wow, day 11. Never imagined I/we could have gone this long with no contact. haven't seem him in 3 weeks. I woke up this morning & want so bad to send him a short, sweet text message. just a "hey baby", "how are you"? but why?? why would I send that? he obviously doesn't care. and then I read Love1336's message above, breaking NC and feeling awful, back to square 1, the possible rejection. I have to stay strong. If he was thinking about me & missing me, I'd hear from him. I am doing better, still miss him & can't wait until I can wake up & not have him be my 1st thought, go to bed & not have him be my last thought & damn to sleep all night long with out waking up for hours in the middle of the night. Happy Monday everyone! Big hug

[Love1336]

Day 1.

Haha back to from the start.

I suppose best thing came out of breaking NC was at least you are not exchangings I love yous.

That kinda made me smile.

 

Well if you don't response back, i am taking serious action to myself.

I think if i spend 40 dollars to change my number, and deleted my facebook for a while and just be on my studies. I don't think i should fall back. Something has to be done already, i can't keep on bothering you. This isn't normal or right. It has to be a pain in the butt for you. Having a person who you don't love trying to contact you. I know i would be annoyed.

 

Why would you want to be with somebody who so weak anyways? Why did i say sorry? when you was the one who left me.

I don't understand myself.

I think i broke this NC so i could remember this awful pain in my heart. Not a good feeling. I feel like CRAP.

[Helpmetoheal]

Day 1 of No Contact starts today! You left me 3 weeks ago, you made it clear to me that it was over but I couldn't or didn't want to believe you. You humored me and we talked a couple times. I did things during this time that I am not proud of, but I was hurting and I wanted things back the way they were, when you loved me and wanted to be with me. I said my piece last night, made my last ditch effort, played every card and still couldn't win the game. I heard your words and saw your face when you said them, its over. I understand that now and I will not bother you anymore. I will get on with my life such as it is. I just want this ache in my heart to subside, I am so lonely. I know I must have seemed so weak and pathetic. Next time we meet I will not be that person. You said you pray for me everyday, and I thank you for that. You were my favorite hello and my hardest goodbye. But goodbye it is. I will always love you, just in a different way "L".

[Janeiac]

Day 12.

Today is my birthday. I'm going to dinner with a large group. It will be a real mood lifter to be with people who actually like me, care aout me, and are nice to me!

[jonesyjakk]

happy birthday.....have a good time!

[iamanne]

have birthday janeiac! enjoy your day

[simplyme01]

Happy Birthday Janeiac!

[d24]

day 12 of NC now i think. i'm losing track. i guess that's a good thing.

i don't know if i even want her any more.

but, i dont know... i feel so lonely.

this has been coming for 4 months now

[Janeiac]

What the EFF????

X called me this evening, twice. He left a voice message on my home phone wishing me happy birthday, and saying he misses me and hopes I'm OK , I'm probably out celebrating (I was!) Then he called my cell (I didn't pick up) and left another "happy birthday."

I mean really??? Seriously???

[kiwiana]

Had a huge argument with my ex, we were LC from our breakup 7 months ago but just had an agrument and I am sick of this false hope I am giving myself of getting him back. Just realised, he doesn't deserve me at all

So Day 1 starts today

[iamanne]

What the EFF????

X called me this evening, twice. He left a voice message on my home phone wishing me happy birthday, and saying he misses me and hopes I'm OK , I'm probably out celebrating (I was!) Then he called my cell (I didn't pick up) and left another "happy birthday."

I mean really??? Seriously???

 

Good you didn't answer his call and didn't text him back.. let him do the chase and enjoy the feeling of being chased... way to go, Janeiac!

[Janeiac]

Day 13.

Thanks for the birthday greetings on here! I got dozezs on Facebook as well, and a huge crowd at my birthday dinner, and some lovely, thoughtful gifts. I feel blessed with love.

As for X, phooey! I can't even enjoy feeling "chased" by such a selfish tool. Let him stew in it, although I don't believe he truly cares at all. If he misses me, it's because he misses all that I gave him, and all that I did. He certainly never showed any true appreciation for my spirit, and no real love or respect for me. His message didn't even say he loved me, only that he misses me.

Good luck, everyone. Freedom and happy days lie ahead.

[iamanne]

you know the best part of this moving on thing is that when we look back and find them staring in front of us and we're laughing coz we moved on and they were obviously left behind.. stay strong sistah!.. I'm on day 9 on NC and 3rd day that I didn't check on his email account and i feel a lot better...

[Helpmetoheal]

Day 2 of NC - Well, I did it, kind of. I did not check your email, I did not text you, I did not call. I did however let myself in your house for a few minutes while you were at work. I did this for a reason, it was my proper goodbye. The next time I enter your house if ever, will be with your welcoming me inside. I took a quick peek around, told you you I loved you and said GOODBYE. I think I have said all I can say, and done all I can do. I am letting go and letting God take it from here. I still feel pretty empty inside "L", I desperately miss you and the life that we had. As you said to me and I heard you this time, you did love me but not anymore. It stings and it hurts and I feel terrible. I know I need to find things to get you off my mind but I don't even know where to start. I have no real friends and family is distant. At least I can write here and take some comfort in knowing that I certainly am not the only one. I still love you and I wish I didn't.

[Moonchill]

Day 17

 

I Could barely sleep last night. In a bad mood today. Been filling my day with watching " How I met your mother" and it lifts up my mood

[r0ckox]

Day two.

 

I'm second guessing myself already. Already regretting it. Already half-way typing apology texts, and then erasing them. GOD why do I do this every time?

HELLO? Do I NOT see she's toxic and a complete waste of time?????

 

But, what's there to regret? Now I don't have phone calls at 10pm. Now I don't have to sit and go "Gee, maybe this week she'll want to see me."

I won't get ignored time after time because I said something she didn't like.

 

What the hell is wrong with me, people?

[Janeiac]

baRx, there is nothing wrong with you. Be strong, hang tight. You do not need to waste time on someone who makes you unhappy. Free yourself to be available for someone who will.

Moonchill: good job! Keep caring for yourself!

helpmetoheal, you said goodbye, that's great. Now you can begin moving forward. Take care of yourself!

[iamanne]

DAY 9

It's 4am on this side of the earth and I couldn't sleep. I did for an hour I guess but I woke up having this weird lonely feeling again... I hope it's just me wanting to go back home and not something else... Back to counting sheeps and I hope the sheeps won't sleep on me.. I just hope I'm not getting sick...

[gez2705]

So I 've reached my first real milestone 30 days of NC so lets recap

 

When I first joined this thread I was in a p**s poor state I had split up from C for 7 weeks.

I had not done the begging or pleading but had tried basically tried to buy C's affection with presents and gifts just another form of manipulation trying to prove I was a real catch and the only one for her.

But believe me it really do's not work you cannot make any person love you only they can decide that.

You have to realize I felt like a junkie I'd get a high when she contacted me when I'd given her a present or gift but that high very quickly became a downer when I txt her and got no replay so bought another gift and then again another high it became a small circle of highs and lows

that had to be broken.

 

I really believe that you must have a moment of realization a moment when everything becomes clear and what you are doing to get your ex back is not working so the best thing you can do is nothing you cannot screw up if you do nothing

 

I realized that I had initiated all the contact up to that point except when I'd bought her something so I decided to just fall off the face of the earth which I have done.

 

So what have I done for the last month I have not sat on my a**e doing nothing first I read loads of books on relationships etc but soon came to the conclustion I did have issues love that word issues LOL

So got myself a counceller who I see once a week its not what I expected you go in thinking there's one problem and its an easy cure but life's not that simple is it .

I really know its going to help me sort myself out and its not going to take a couple of weeks but I'm in for the long haul.

I've also been running and joined the gym again LOL but really enjoy it and takes your mind off things and feel much better for it.

I also have reconnected with some old mates and had some good times at the cinemas and have had some wicked currys I've left the alchol out for the time being but feel better for it.

I've also started to do some things I used to enjoy drawing and reading more things I never seemed to have the time to do when your in a relationship.

 

So all in all there has been no contact with C for 30 days I started NC to get C back I think everyone on here starts for that reason.

But I soon found out NC's a tool not for you to get your ex back ,its a tool for you to heal yourself to make yourself a better person for you and no one else. I would say that I am over C 50% actually a little more but my no means fully over her

30 days to get over some one you love and make yourself better is a drop in the ocean I think proberbly doubling it or even trebling it you may just start to be getting there I know for a fact I will only contact C its her job to contact me I was not good enough for her and thats a fact why should I make the first move.

Also if C did contact me there would be no reconcilliation until I am healed and happy with myself and be happy with my own company.

 

Just to finish I was working with a guy last week and was chatting to each over The guy I was working with is 25 with 2 kids both under 3 and he said he was jealouse of me because I was single is it not the case we all want what we cannot have