THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[dandan78]

Day 7

 

I made it for my 1st week. Quitting drinking and drugs was easier than this!

 

Had my 1st CBT session today and pretty much cried all the way through it. But have set my 1st goal. Another week of NC.

Tonight is a night that they are usually together. Gotta try and stop myself from walking past hers to see if his car is there.

 

Still feeling pretty low after she text yesterday and find myself analysing stuff all over again. Conversations, texts, messages. Keep getting lost in my own thoughts.

I also find myself looking out the window just to see if I can catch a glimpse of her.

[fentiger]

Day 2

 

Not really a successful day so far. still cried every single day for 3 1/2 weeks. going to get on with a few things now and I'm trying to concentrate on the 'bad' things, not that there's many, but I'm thinkin did he ever really love me. but why stay with me so long if he didnt. but i dont think he ever really loved as much as me. wish i'd stayed as the one being pursued and who was less interested, the tables turn and i get hurt. so anyway... MOVE ON Natasha MOVE ON!!! stop loving him!!

[Chris Knows]

Day 33

 

The feelings of her come and still go. I have moments when I am out talking to girls and hanging out with other girls where I can totally forget about her. I still here from friends that her new boyfriend is a jerk and treats her bad. I keep telling myself that It is not my place nor is it my right to try and intervene with their relationship. If she wants to make us work then she can contact me. Until then, I will continue living my life and moving forward.

 

 

I hate that I try to over analyze every little situation. That when I hear things about her that something is not right, or I can fix it. Just need to keep moving forward.

[lonesomeloser]

Day 2

 

I'm not gonna make it. This is just unbelievable how much I think about her, how much I want to hear from her, how much I love her. Maybe I'm obsessed? I don't know... I just can't focus on anything but how she's doing. I hope she is happy, I really do.

 

And just like that - back to day 0...

 

Instant Messaging on Facebook. She's been invisible since our little spat on Friday, and then she pops up this morning. I can't help myself. I send a "Hello". She says "Hey", I say "Hows it goin?", she says "good, u?", I say "pretty good", she says " thinking of you baby". I say "awww

[peanutbutterandjelly]

 

But I keep looking at my phone, hoping he will call or text. Stupid, huh, when I told him not to unless he was interested in taking things slow, but I do it anyways.

 

I keep doing the same thing. I told him not to contact me unless he wanted to be with me again... he has no reason to call yet i check my phone every half and hour and keep it in my pocket on vibrate when i can... *sigh*.

 

Beginning of Day 2... i really have no desire to break nc. i DO want to contact him, but i dont want to break nc. i know there is nothing else i can do at this point and contacting him will not make a difference... if anything, it will just make things worse. the hard part is that when i told him i was going nc, he was like "okay, ill respect that, but call me anytime if you need me". it's hard knowing that i would be able to talk to him and hear his voice if i wanted to. sometimes i feel like id rather have pleasure then pain than not talk to him at all, but that is the wrong way to think. it really is like an addiction. it feels awesome when you do it, but then you feel like crap and you're back at square one.

 

i will not contact him today. i just have to take it one day at a time.

[lonesomeloser]

it really is like an addiction. it feels awesome when you do it, but then you feel like crap and you're back at square one.

 

This is soooooo true!!

How about every time your phone rings your hopes go up that it's your ex? I keep my phone on vibrate and EVERY SINGLE CALL I hope it only vibrates once, cause that would be a text - and I almost pray it's from her.... UGH!!! -- It IS an addiction.

[kt_belle]

Ok here's to the start of my 30 Day NC challenge. My only contact will be related to our house and that will be kept to simple one word txt messages.

 

I know he feels bad that we can't be friends but i have got to move on. I'm so sick of crying over him.

[lonesomeloser]

Good Luck kt. Been following your posts and I wish you well.

[dandan78]

Bugger!!!

 

I just replied to her text (31 hours later!!)

 

Nice and short, telling her I was ok. I don't expect a reply and actually feel better for it.

 

Immediately back to NC for me though.

[jonboi]

8 months of her gone...

 

7 months of NC

 

What can you do..........

[OneBrightStar]

Day 13 for me. Blah. I feel like I'm back in my first week for some reason.

[peanutbutterandjelly]

^ive heard that the second and third weeks can be very hard. i dont know why and i havnt made it there yet. hang in there.

[OneBrightStar]

^ive heard that the second and third weeks can be very hard. i dont know why and i havnt made it there yet. hang in there.

 

2nd and 3rd of NC or the break-up? I'm into my fifth week since the break-up

[peanutbutterandjelly]

i meant second or third week of no contact...

[JonasWaingaro]

Yeah hang in there. 2 weeks in you get panicy and start having enormous doubts. I got to 2 weeks 4 times I think, and contacted her each time. It did no good. I don't regret any of it as we are who we are. Just remember 2 or 3 weeks feels like nothing to the dumper, even though it feels like months and months for us. So that time won't hurt anything, only help you to be who you need to be for whatever is next in life. Be strong!

[OneBrightStar]

I am starting to get panicky, almost like I did when we first broke up! I don't plan on contacting him ... if anything, I'm waiting for him to do it first, but I'm afraid he never will.

[kt_belle]

Good Luck kt. Been following your posts and I wish you well.

 

Thankyou. Lol knowing my luck he'll come back wanting to reconcile after i finally start to feel in control again. I definitely think telling him that we cant be friends has been a good thing. I feel like i have some power over our situation and i think its also making him think a lot more about what he wants in his life.

[JonasWaingaro]

I am starting to get panicky, almost like I did when we first broke up! I don't plan on contacting him ... if anything, I'm waiting for him to do it first, but I'm afraid he never will.

 

Yeah I hear ya. Sadly mine hasn't to this point.

[amandamarie]

Day 4

 

I hate the night time. During the day, things are pretty good. I keep myself very busy at work, going to the gym, that kind of thing. But then, at night, I come home to our house that we use to share, and it is very depressing. I think about all the things we used to do together in the evenings, and how much fun we had. Tonight I was just sitting here thinking, how did this happen to me? How can someone go from loving you enough to buy a house with you to leaving you and moving 15 hours away and saying they aren't feeling it anymore in a year's time? I feel so betrayed. It's like he never even gave it a chance to work here in this new area, he just left. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get over this or find someone else. I am 28, this is the guy that I thought I was going to be spending my life with. I feel like he stole some of my best years from me and I will never get them back, and that it was all a lie. And now he is going to steal more time because I have to get over him, and I am trapped in this house that we both own still. Tonight has been rough

[Nickk]

yeah nights are by far the worst, i struggle big time! And without doubt the first thing i think of is her in the morning, when i finally dont think about her in the mornings is i think when i'll be close to moving on!

[kt_belle]

End of Day 1: I feel terrible like i have broken NC even though i havent. My ex and i were renting a house together and have had to break our lease so there are a few things we still have to be in contact about (such as getting the bond back). The real estate rang me today and i had to text my ex saying "contact real estate". When i told myself that i'd go for 30 days NC i said i could allow contact related to the house. But i still feel like i've done the wrong thing.

 

 

Dammit Dammit Dammit. While i've been typing this at work he has just walked in to my work to let me know that we have to get the pest control out to the house tomorrow (trust him to leave it late). Does it count as breaking NC if i only said "ok"??

[Nickk]

End of Day 1: I feel terrible like i have broken NC even though i havent. My ex and i were renting a house together and have had to break our lease so there are a few things we still have to be in contact about (such as getting the bond back). The real estate rang me today and i had to text my ex saying "contact real estate". When i told myself that i'd go for 30 days NC i said i could allow contact related to the house. But i still feel like i've done the wrong thing.

 

 

Dammit Dammit Dammit. While i've been typing this at work he has just walked in to my work to let me know that we have to get the pest control out to the house tomorrow (trust him to leave it late). Does it count as breaking NC if i only said "ok"??

hehe, dont stress, of coarse not! He came to see you! You know if your being honest to yourself

[Nickk]

I just broke no contact on DAY 3!

maybe if i delete her number, but just write it down and leave it in the bottom of my drawer or something! What do ya reckon? Then it rules out me contacting her when im not at home, and might make me less tempted when im at home to search through my drawer to find it! I dont totally want to lose it coz im hoping somewhere down the track for another crack, or maybe i should just delete it

[kt_belle]

hehe, dont stress, of coarse not! He came to see you! You know if your being honest to yourself

 

Its soo hard maintaining NC when you have to talk. I really didnt want LC as i told him i couldnt be friends with him (which is true)

[matador1972]

So back to day 1 - this time i have realised that no contact is for me to heal and not for her to come back, this is a huge undertaking for me, finally letting her go so i can heal.

 

She has already started last night with the mind games, in my response to her about no contact, i told her whats the point in trying to revive something that is dead, and she said that wasnt what she said at all, so she continues to try and have me dangling on a string if she dosent enjoy her new life, she still thinks she can come back to me. She also tells me that im making her the baddy for spoiling xmas by not wanting to have it together with her and my kids, emotional blackmail. All good reasons to stay in no contact this time, and all good reasons to realise that she is not the person i thought she was.