Have you ever been cheated on by someone you never would have thought would do it?

[Kalika]

If you're actively looking for signs of cheating, I bet as BSBH said, you'll probably find out pretty quickly..

[redreine]

If you're actively looking for anything, you'll find it.

It's like a mind trick. You'll 100% make something out of absolutely nothing.

[Rose21]

With all of the men I have dated in the past, although I would like to think they WOULDN'T cheat on me, I deffinatly wouldn't be suprised if they had cheated on me when I was with them.

 

As far as I know however, I have never been cheated on by anyone I was with.

 

My boyfriend now, the best guy I have ever been with, I can't see him ever cheating. It's just not in his character.

 

It's not in mine either. If I ever felt those urges, I would ATLEAST go on a break and take a look at the relationship.

 

I mean, I've been with men and even when I started loosing interest in them, or would flirt with others and fantasize, the thought of cheating still would NEVER cross my mind.

 

I'm just not that type of person.

 

That's the same way my SO is, can't see him doing it. I mean, I told him a dream I had I cheated on him, and he got sad. It's a dream!

 

But all of the other men, yeah they were scumbags, and I'm actually suprised they didn't cheat. Expec since one had a long history of cheating. Cheated on just about every gf but me. But then, we were also only together for 2 months or so.

[Rose21]

That's exactly how I am.

 

I trust my boyfriend, and I've never been cheated on, YET I am a VERY suspicious person by nature. I think everyone (friends, family, bf) Will get tired of me and abandon me eventually. Because I'm no good blah blah.

 

I have really bad abandonment issues. I know it's all in my head, and I think that's the first step to coming out and realizing this.

 

There was this girl who sent a fake myspace message to me trying to say my boyfriend didn't even cheat, but he was majorly flirting with her and was saying they should hang out. That's not something my boyfriend would ever do, and there is no way she could of gotten all of that information. It had to be someone I knew, someone ratteling me. Because if they knew me, they would know that the tinest hint of flirtation would be enough to drive me wild.

 

I knew the myspace profile was fake, I knew the timing she was saying, and the story was totaly fabricated and none of it added up or made sense. It was VERY shady.

 

The first time I told my boyfriend about it, there was genuine surprise in his voice.

 

And when I brought it up several more times, he got so upset. He was almost crying that I would question his loyalty over a fake message. He's very proud, just someone accusing him of cheating makes him upset.

 

 

I should of just let it go, because I know how he is and I know it's not like him, but I couldnt=( Someone even messaged him saying I was pregnant and going to have an abortion and not tell him, and he didn't even believe it in the slightest or continue to question me.

 

I wish I could change my ways. I don't like being so paranoid all the time

 

I do agree with that phrase, if you are looking for something you WILL find it.

 

I think alot of relationships have been ruined that way.

 

My friend broke up with her loving boyfriend for something he didn't even do. She believed the words of a bunch of snotty girls who didn't want them together.

 

She's convinced he cheated on her, even though there is 0 proof.

 

It's sad when people do that...Let their paranoia get the best of them.

[ttran]

I know im going to catch grief with this but I think everyone is a cheater. But I also believe that everyone doesnt do it on purpose. They say something like 85% of couples meet when thier with someone else. Think about it, your dating someone and by chance you meet someone else and the two of you just click. You know the feeling. The same way you met the person your with now. I just believe that our human minds always want something better or something we think is better at that time. Also its a proven fact that every human soul lies. You cant look at the person right next to you and say you never told even a white lie to that person. Even if you've never cheated, chances are you've wanted to or thought about it. And in my book if my wife thought about cheating then she cheated. Once again this is just my opinion and I dont want to get into any arguements about it. Sorry in advance!!

[EQD]

i still don't think you should break up until you're more sure whether he is cheating or not... i think you're WAY smart enough to suss it out eventually if he is a cheater, and by eventually i don't mean 10 years down the road, i mean within the first year or so, if he's doing things like having 3 phones and really is using them for cheating...

 

perhaps in the beginning he wasn't quite as 'done' with his ex-wife as he let on... sometimes it takes a while to finish out an old relationship before a new one can start.

 

but if he still does travel back to FL frequently to where she is, i'd make sure he was really done with before going on... if he never goes back there and spends most of his time with you, i'd assume it was done with her.

 

He hasnt been in florida since he left her last year in march or may i think it was.

so i dont know if that can be considered 'frequently' or not. lol....

he also said that his divorce papers are coming in the mail this week.

but i digress... this thread has really done a number on me, and i am very lost at the moment.

[1regret]

shocked... no. till today the feelings undescribable. My bf of almost five years, he wasnt the perfect type of guy, we had more arguments in then smiles. But I never, ever,ever, would have thought that I would have to worry about another female. Soon he forgets about the letters that his friends been holding and forgets it's in his truck and more then betrayed and humiliated... I've got trust issues and don't feel that I can ever heal from this excruciating pain. It has been 3 yrs since, and it still hurts... because I know that he is still cheating on me with others

[sosilver]

shocked... no. till today the feelings undescribable. My bf of almost five years, he wasnt the perfect type of guy, we had more arguments in then smiles. But I never, ever,ever, would have thought that I would have to worry about another female. Soon he forgets about the letters that his friends been holding and forgets it's in his truck and more then betrayed and humiliated... I've got trust issues and don't feel that I can ever heal from this excruciating pain. It has been 3 yrs since, and it still hurts... because I know that he is still cheating on me with others

 

 

I am sorry to hear this...are you still with this guy?

[Rose21]

Ttran, I disagree with you completely.

 

Maybe you just feel that way because you were cheated on?

 

I believe everyone has equal oppurtunity, nobody is left out. Meaning that anyone has the ability to cheat or commit a crime, it's just a matter of acting upon those urges.

 

It's different when you feel you "click" with someone else, and then leave your former partner. But thats not the same as going behind their back to kindle something with that person, while keeping your partner on the side.

 

I think that's selfish in itself, but atleast you have the honesy to admit it and not go behind your partners back.

 

I'm just simply not that type of person. If I feel a relationship is going nowhere, or I am no longer in love with my partner or attracted to them, I move on. I wouldnt' dwindle around and start something with someone else.

 

That is horribly dishonest, and I have GREAT moral character and strong principals. Sex means absolutly nothing to me with out emotional value, such as a loving and commited LTR. I wouldn't do it outside of one even if I was single, and my boyfriend is the same way.

 

So I feel no need in venturing outside the box when I already have everything I want.

 

Everyone is different. In some people cheating is unthinkable and they could never act on it, no matter how unhappy they were. With others, no matter how happy they are it is almost impossible NOT to cheat.

 

So saying everyone is a cheater, is like saying everyone is a murderer at heart. They're just waiting for that spark.

[Rose21]

Also the idea of being with 2 people at once, or even more just repulses me. Makes me sick to my stomach.

 

I am strictly a one man woman.

[redreine]

 

Everyone is different. In some people cheating is unthinkable and they could never act on it, no matter how unhappy they were. With others, no matter how happy they are it is almost impossible NOT to cheat.

 

 

Hear, hear!

[Lowconfidence]

I think everyone should expect to get cheated on, whether it's physically or emotionally. And if at the end of the relationship you find out he/she has never cheated, it's a bonus.

[SpeedingCars]

Oh man...

I don't always go into something THINKING the worst of somebody, thinking they'll hurt me or something. But I DO go into it thinking they have the power to. What they do with that power, only time will tell.

 

Reading these stories about people going out for 2+ years or so with the 'perfect' SO only to find out they have a separate phone line or there was no suspicious activity etc. makes me so terrified...

[SpeedingCars]

This story makes me how did he have time to keep up the other relationship if there were no odd hours and he was attentive and stuff? Scary stuff.

 

I know one similar to it. My ex-best friend's mother's ex-husband (whew! what a mouthful) had a separate family with kids and everything and she didn't suspect anything. It wasn't until he passed away that she found out. He would often go on "trips". But he was a very sweet man. He came around to the family parties and introduced her to his family. Weird...

 

I will never know how these people pull this off.

[Rose21]

I am a very suspicious person by nature.

 

I'm training to be a Criminologist, and I aced Psychology. And by aced, I mean I made well over a 100% and my teacher had to continue my grade. She said I scored immensely high! I'm also taking Sociology.

 

Point is, I'm VERY good at reading people and picking up on their motives and actions. It's very easy for me to tell when someone is being truthful or lying.

 

I used to be a pathological lier when I was 14 and 15. Luckily I grew out of it!

 

you know the saying you cant BS a BS'er? Yeah, that applies with me.

 

I am also a very emotional and sensitive person aswell, I will often see things that arn't there. But if my gut doesn't have the inkling that something may be arry, why go to hunt something down that's not there?

 

I do think everyone has the ABILITY to cheat. But there are some people who could never do it. I am one of those people.

 

And I do believe my boyfriend is one of those people aswell. I've done so many psychological tests it's not even funny! lol.

 

But I do believe that 2 people who are very much in love can stay together for most of their lives and NOT stray.

 

 

I know tons of people that are examples, just like I know tons of people that arn't. It depends on the people and the relationship.

[ttran]

I do believe must of this is opinion. Therefore we can not judge anyone or are selves until were in that situation. Mrs. Rose you are correct I was cheated on by my SO that I was with for 13 years. How could I see this coming, Shes is like a nun. She has never cursed, been with another person, goes to church everyday, etc,etc. I just really think you can fall in love with someone else, even though you love the person your with. You just have that caring love and dont want to break their heart by telling them you love another person. I know some people out there can sit here and say well I can just tell them i love someone else, but wait until its your turn to go to the person you love so much to tell them you want someone else. I just believe after years and years of being together your love for that person turns into love like a family member. If that makes any sense.

[redreine]

Rose, we have a lot in common!

 

Until recently, I, too, was going to school for criminology. I love psychology and sociology, and I am excellent at reading people. Now, I've never been a pathological liar, but I *am* an actress. Throw woman's intuition into that mix, and I'd say I'm about as close to being perfect when it comes to reading people as you can be, without actually being that person, lol.

 

In all honesty, though.

It's been all but scientifically proven that the mysterious "woman's intuition" is every bit what it's made out to be. We have this for a reason ladies. You don't have to read into anything. Just don't ignore the feeling if it arises. And don't try to force something that isn't there.