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Have you ever been cheated on by someone you never would have thought would do it?


Kalika

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I was just thinking about this - have you ever been cheated on by a partner that you never, ever would have thought would ever cheat on you in a million years? Or did you see signs of a potential cheater beforehand?

 

This doesn't have anything to do with me personally at all - I was just wondering what your experiences have been.

 

Personally I can say that I would be completely shocked beyond belief if I ever found out my SO was cheating on me. He's been so extremely dedicated to the relationship for the last 5 years that I truly believe that he would never do that to me. But I have seen other posts here where people were cheated on and never ever thought their partner would do that to them.

 

Thoughts?? Stories????

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I saw signs that the relationship was suffering, BUT never in my wildest thoughts did I think I would be cheated on. The more I tried to make it work by communicating, the further I pushed the person away - right into the arms of a stranger!

 

So yes, I think you can usually tell when things are wrong especially if the relationship started out strong but then deteriotated. But in some cases, you cant tell because the guy was playing you since day 1.

 

I am a suspicious person by nature so it takes me awhile to get close to a guy and my experience really left me questioning my ability to figure people out. I am still struggling with what is real and what is not. Its very hard.

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I was just thinking about this - have you ever been cheated on by a partner that you never, ever would have thought would ever cheat on you in a million years? Or did you see signs of a potential cheater beforehand?

 

This doesn't have anything to do with me personally at all - I was just wondering what your experiences have been.

 

Personally I can say that I would be completely shocked beyond belief if I ever found out my SO was cheating on me. He's been so extremely dedicated to the relationship for the last 5 years that I truly believe that he would never do that to me. But I have seen other posts here where people were cheated on and never ever thought their partner would do that to them.

 

Thoughts?? Stories????

 

*raises hand* yes....my ex...we dated for two yrs...the whole time I thought he was the sweetest most innocent guy in the world. I thought he'd never lie to me ever...sometimes I even felt like he was too wonderful to me.....then I found out he'd been cheating on me the ENTIRE two yrs with his ex girlfriend who was actually STILL his girlfriend (they never broke up).....

 

all I can say is that I have serious trust issues now.

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*raises hand* yes....my ex...we dated for two yrs...the whole time I thought he was the sweetest most innocent guy in the world. I thought he'd never lie to me ever...sometimes I even felt like he was too wonderful to me.....then I found out he'd been cheating on me the ENTIRE two yrs with his ex girlfriend who was actually STILL his girlfriend (they never broke up).....

 

all I can say is that I have serious trust issues now.

 

 

 

Omg, this is horrible...I cant believe people can live a lie like that! It makes me so angry...I too have major trust issues

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Omg, this is horrible...I cant believe people can live a lie like that! It makes me so angry...I too have major trust issues

 

yeah, its really scarey when they act like they're so sweet and then you find out different...

 

I'd rather date a guy that flat out acted like a jerk, at least then you know what you're dealing with ya know?

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Hm, not myself... my ex bf he was giving me signs but i was too trusting. refused to believe it. he was also not very good with me. So I should have known.

 

But 1 of my close friends.. She was with a guy for over 3 yrs, they were amazing together, everybody thought they were perfect couple.... He was always good with her and never even cared about another girl ( Or she thought !!! ) - But in reality he had sex with atleast 10 other girls, 1 of them was like Friend with Benefit (they had sex on regulary base), oh and most of those girls he cheated with, they didnt know he had a gf.

 

Makes me wonder, who can you trust nowadays....

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I would think most people don't think their partners would cheat, or they wouldn't be with them to begin with?

 

Of course. But the thing is, the only way someone is an effective cheater is by coming off as someone who wouldn't. So that would put just about everyone in the position to be suspicious all the time.

 

You can't have a good relationship without trust. You are giving this person your heart, and you have to trust that they won't break it. It's like jumping out of an airplane and trusting that your parachute will work...obviously we know that sometimes they don't, and we can't tell if they will or not just by looking at them. But I digress.

 

I have never been cheated on. I even dated someone who prided themselves on the fact that he had been with a million different girls, and I was the only one he never cheated on. This was one of the reasons he decided I must've been "The One". (we broke up anyway, not due to cheating, I might add)

 

My current boyfriend broke up with me once because he got the urge to cheat on me. He never acted on it, but decided it wasn't fair to be with me if he was having those thoughts. We talked about it, and obviously we are still together. (This was at the very beginning of our relationship, about 2 months in)

 

I think some people confuse attraction with the urge to cheat. We're humans and naturally we are attracted to other people, whether we are involved or not. It's when you act on those feelings that you get into trouble. I can honestly say that I would never cheat on anyone ever. It just isn't in me. A lot of people can't cheat.

 

On the other hand, you have people like my best friend, who finds it absolutely impossible NOT to cheat. She isn't a bad person and she is a very loving girlfriend, she just can't control herself. (Again, like I said in another thread, I am in NO way condoning cheating)

 

In conclusion, I am so thankful every day that I have never been cheated on.

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*raises hand* yes....my ex...we dated for two yrs...the whole time I thought he was the sweetest most innocent guy in the world. I thought he'd never lie to me ever...sometimes I even felt like he was too wonderful to me.....then I found out he'd been cheating on me the ENTIRE two yrs with his ex girlfriend who was actually STILL his girlfriend (they never broke up).....

 

all I can say is that I have serious trust issues now.

 

i have to ask how in the hell did he pull that off?

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I agree with the poster who stated that usually if a man is playing you from day one, you don't see signs. To the person who stated they dated a man for two years and that creep played you for the ex girlfriend (well really both of you) I'm sorry and my heart goes out to you. I can see why you have trust issues. If you think this is bad, try this one on for size. Try flying one way (WITH YOUR INNOCENT CHILD) to be with a man who claims he is going to drive you both back to your new home, only to find out he was a cheating scum bag. Even better...this just happened to me TWO days ago. Now im stranded until I earn money to get back home.

 

Now who do you think can trust after this? Not me. I'm done trying. The next man who gets near me will be told no, and the thousand after him. I'm done!

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i have to ask how in the hell did he pull that off?

 

She lived in KY and I live in AL, where he lives....I had NO suspicions...one day I sat down at his computer to write a paper for school, went to word and *poof*, the idiot had saved a letter there he'd wrote to her....

 

Ok, my stomach is hurting talkin bout it....it makes me sick.

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She lived in KY and I live in AL, where he lives....I had NO suspicions...one day I sat down at his computer to write a paper for school, went to word and *poof*, the idiot had saved a letter there he'd wrote to her....

 

Ok, my stomach is hurting talkin bout it....it makes me sick.

 

ew. so he was in an LDR with his not-so-ex gf?

 

makes me want to leave my SO that much more.

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Yeah, I have.

 

We were together almost 7 years. He was the most caring person I had ever met. He would do anything for me as I did for him. He was so sensitive, something I always liked about him. He was always there for me, got upset when I was upset, just nice in every way. But he still did it. My friends and mother all said that they never thought he would be the one to do that. It was shocking.

 

This is why I get a bit annoyed when people post saying "thre is no way he could be cheating", that he isn't the type, doesn't get the time and all that junk. There isn't a type, everyone is capable and if they want to cheat they "will" find the time.

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Yeah, I have.

 

We were together almost 7 years. He was the most caring person I had ever met. He would do anything for me as I did for him. He was so sensitive, something I always liked about him. He was always there for me, got upset when I was upset, just nice in every way. But he still did it. My friends and mother all said that they never thought he would be the one to do that. It was shocking.

 

This is why I get a bit annoyed when people post saying "thre is no way he could be cheating", that he isn't the type, doesn't get the time and all that junk. There isn't a type, everyone is capable and if they want to cheat they "will" find the time.

 

 

I totally agree with that last statement of yours....

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Yep, my ex-husband. He put on such a good show about how important our marriage was and loving me and blah blah blah. He was also a person who liked life easy and uncomplicated, and i assumed cheating took more originality and effort than he had... He also kept really regular hours and came home on time in the evening.

 

Turned out he was cheating with women he worked with... even brought them to our house mid day i think since he lived near his work (found a mashed up condom under the bed one day and he claimed the dog must have found one and chewed it up... ha!). He also was having sex on business trips with his new female boss, AND the admins who travelled with him to trade shows.

 

The thing is most people don't have a clue that their partner would cheat... the old expression 'love is blind.' And cheater's can be pretty good at covering their tracks until they either get arrogant one day and slip up, or one of their partners decides to rat them out, or someone else seeing them rats them out.

 

In my case my ex's old boss called me once to talk to him when he was supposedly out at a function with his boss! i was like, 'isn't he with you?' His old boss was a nice (and religious) man, and i think he caught on my ex was cheating with other women at work and was trying to give me a little heads up because he didn't like witnessing the adultery... most people who don't cheat are disgusted by it and may want to help out the innocent spouse by clueing them in.

 

Anyway, i'd been wondering why he got promoted and all of a sudden started travelling with the new female boss all the time... then i knew! he was a really good looking man, and like having him as arm candy... but i tossed him out on his ear as soon as i had proof of the cheating... she could have him!

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Also dated a guy in an LDR who I thought was single, but eventually realized he had a live-in girlfriend in his own town! He was in my town on business trips and apparentliy an experienced cheater who was jugglilng several women in different towns where he travelled for work.

 

It really happens all the time! I know so many stories of people who just can't imagine their partner cheats, but they find out they do.

 

The interesting thing is most of the time the cheater is fine with their spouse/partner, they just are bored or like variety or the excitement of cheating. Many are devastated when you catch on and dump them... mine were!

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