Getting back together really does happen!

[Asher]

Your best move is to not go in to any interaction with the mindset that you must "win her back at all cost" as you put it. She will sense this no matter how hard you try to hide it. You need to go in to seeing her like you did when you first met. There were no big expectations, just two people connecting and having fun. Obviously bring up NOTHING to do with the relationship (good or bad) and especially not the breakup. Keep it casual, fun and lighthearted. Your job is to relieve pressure and make her feel like you are not going to be a smothering influence or push for something more when she is not sure about that. By just being fun and casual you will present yourself as a person who she can hang out with any time and it will always be fun with ZERO pressure. Positive reinforcement my man! It's a powerful thing. Then, from that point on, just wait and see. Less it always more. Ultimately for any reconciliation nothing can be forced. Just enjoy the "date" and don't linger too long. Lead the conversation so she does more talking than you as well. You don't want to start blurting out how good things are, ect. Your demeanor will matter more than explaining through small talk.

 

Attraction and logic do not go hand in hand. You can't explain yourself to attraction. Good news for you is that she was attracted to you at some point. Her interest level dropped though (sorry, this is the reason for 99% of amicable breakups no matter WHAT they tell you) and she had second thoughts. By being strong, assertive, fun and someone that doesn't bring any pressure to the table you are presenting yourself as an attractive option again. Let nature do the rest. And hey, if it doesn't work at least you will know you didn't go in and do any rookie mistakes.

 

Good luck! Keep us posted.

[bobowe]

Hi Asher,

 

Quick update, so late this afternoon, she was near my work, and asked if we can meet for a quick wine after work. I went and met her, never mentioned how I miss her, and I really do, all I wanted to do is grab her and kiss her... But I sat there, I said what was going on with upcoming interview, and she talked ALLOT about her new office and the company move.. I never let slip how much i wanted her back, we just chatted about "life" and stuff. Fairly fluffy conversation. Walked her to the station, peck on the cheek and a hug goodbye. She mentioned walking to the station that she is happy things are looking good for me, and also that she feels crap for being away (She's going home to see family) for my birthday coming up end of June. So I stayed calm, I made good conversation and she did most of the talking... Had a nice glass of wine, and for me it felt super awkward sitting there knowing was coming of this... I did say to her when I met her, she looks very good, and said when I left her that she is a very pretty lady! But other than that, no more compliments of gestures, never grabbed her hand, or anything... So guys, my question is, shall I just keep chipping away like this, the odd date here and there, or start thinking about writing a hand written letter and saying to her I want her back? So confused... All I want is for her to change her mind/feelings, but she has sooo much pressure at the moment, and it was apparent with the odd big sigh when she talked about all her pressure...

 

She also said she would love to come visit me at me new place if I invite her... Is this just being nice, or maybe she is slowly reaching out?

 

What is the verdict:

 

NC?

 

keep pursuing the odd date over next few weeks?

 

Let her contact me?

 

Initiate the next meeting/date?

 

Or just leave her alone for a few days then contact her back?

 

Shall I thank her for meeting me tonight and tell her how lovely it was too see her?

 

Man I love this girl!!!! She means everything to me!!!

 

Was it odd date the first time, even though sparks did not fly off? Did you just keep at it?

[Asher]

Sounds like you did pretty well. Kudos for keeping your cool. I know--trust me--how hard it can be to keep the calm and collected shiz together. Definitely don't contact her right off the bat. Complimenting her was fine, btw. It's all good to give her a few compliments on how she looks (this also displays subtly that you are not interested in the friendzone) as long as you don't over do it. I like that she said that she wants to visit you at your place if you invite her. That sounds way more than a friendly gesture to me and is also green lighting you to contact her (not that you should soon ). A really positive sign. If she wasn't interested she could easily still be polite without saying something like that. As you said, she's under pressure from work and from your previous post it sounds like she really is and that wasn't just a big excuse.

 

Don't contact her. You had a nice interaction, and now it's up to her to send you. Remember, even if you're not, you're also BUSY. Remember this! Nothing is a bigger turn off to a girl than thinking the guy is thinking about them all the time and eager to contact them. It's a lie that girls want to be chased. Sure, they enjoy it, but we're talking about attraction here. You are a well rounded person who has his own life going on. Sure you like her and are happy to have her in your life to COMPLIMENT it but she is not the focus. She did breakup with you (no matter how nice she was doing it) so your life is NOT on hold. If she doesn't respond in a week-10 days (although I think she probably will) then shoot her a casual message. Something along the lines of you are going *insert bar/place here* anyway, and if she's free would be cool if she joined you. Again, this shows that you are not trying too hard. You're going anyway, right? But don't do this unless she doesn't contact you for a while. And if she says she is too busy or whatever excuse, just reply "no problem, send me sometime when you're free, gotta run now, work kicking my ass today xx." Casual, normal, chilled. Always these things you are displaying. ALWAYS.

 

I think you have a legit chance here. She has reached out already by coming to hang out with you and saying she is open to further interaction down the line. Now is the crucial time not to mess it up. You want to be friendly and open but never eager. She is not on your mind all the time as far as she is concerned. You are a varied man of the world and you are pursuing your own life. She can be part of that but you don't drop everything just because she comes a knocking. She will pick up on this behaviour and it is far better than sending her a hand written note.. DUDE... Come on now. The hand written note after hanging out and having a nice time with her? Way too much. No..no...NOOOO. Would you have written her a handwritten note after the first date you ever had? Of course you wouldn't. Your old relationship is DEAD. You are resetting here. Act in a way that you would with a chick you were in to but not in love with. I will keep explaining this until you get it because it's very important.

 

As I said, you do have a chance. Just don't overegg the pudding and you will be fine. Remember there are way more ways to screw things up than there are to succeed. what is counter intuitive is usually the best option and ATTRACTION CAN NOT BE REASONED. Professing your feelings will do nothing. Once you have seen each other a few more times--and hell, if you can get her over to your place at some point then you should know what to do from there--then you can talk more openly about giving it another try. This is a marathon, not a sprint. You are the prize, not her. Self confidence, independence and a take it or leave it attitude. These are your new overwhelming traits. They will serve you well.

 

Again, good luck.

[bobowe]

ASHER, thanks for taking your time on this, much appreciated!!!

 

I promise to keep posting on this process, it might work, it might not... But man, I'm on a mission to get this one back! She is not only stunning, but like I said, the most amazing girl I ever met!!!

 

Lets see, I might not post anything for a couple of days, but will as soon as I have any movemenets, be it only a date or text message...

 

Thanks again!

[Karen051692]

I am hoping for a reconciliation story...background....we were engaged 23 years ago...broke up because I had some issues with his mom. Fast forward, we are both married - he for 17 years, me for 15. neither has kids.

Reconnected on FB 4 months ago.. communicate just about every day. had a dinner in March (we live 700 miles apart) I know I still am madly in love with him...Both of our marriages aren't too good...Hoping we have been brought back together for a reason....fingers crossed.

[LCPS87]

I know of a few stories

 

1) Together for around 2 years, broke up - she got a new boyfriend straight away but it didn't last and after around 7 months got back with her ex, 2 more years down the line and they're expecting their first child

 

2) Together for 1.5 years, he left her for a bridesmaid at his best friends wedding that they were both guests at! She was devastated, especially as she found out by the new girl sending her a Facebook message telling her all about it! NC for around 2-3 months, he came crawling back after it didn't work out with the new girl and they've been together again for another year since and seem to be happy.

 

3) This one is actually about one of my ex's! We got together not long after him and his gf of a year broke up. I then broke up with him after about 6 months for various reasons and about 3 months after our split he got back with his ex, 4 years later they're married with a little boy!

[Asher]

ASHER, thanks for taking your time on this, much appreciated!!!

 

I promise to keep posting on this process, it might work, it might not... But man, I'm on a mission to get this one back! She is not only stunning, but like I said, the most amazing girl I ever met!!!

 

Lets see, I might not post anything for a couple of days, but will as soon as I have any movemenets, be it only a date or text message...

 

Thanks again!

 

alright dude, keep me posted and if you have any questions don't hesitate. Done this a few times and I've made all the mistakes enough times so I know the deal (somewhat) now.

[bobowe]

Hey Asher,

 

As you are the man who seem to know all the answers from past experience...

 

In my post, I mentioned about the silly drunken comment I made about not moving in together as we are not that serious anyway, because she always maintained she liked her space and so did I... etc etc which she then took as I am not that interested in her for the long haul... (Yup I know, "they" say one thing, and mean a whole different thing... HA HA, ladies please don't judge me, but you are complicated creatures.

 

HOW do I show her that I want to be with her with a LONG time, she has the added pressure of her work, so this was the tipping point for her, combined with work stress and this comment... a really STUPID silly comment in passing... Been thinking all night about what I can do to "fix" this? I am not contacting her, and I have already made myself clear during breakup, that that was not what I meant and I want to be with her and her alone... So I am not doing it again, but I cannot figure out how I can get through to her with actions, that I want her back and for an eternity, not just for a night of wine... If I can unlock how I can show her I am committed to her, without saying it, but with actions???

 

Any ladies reading this, please advise what you would like to see in a guy who made a mess like I have... ???

 

Here is what she said during/after break up and I said I cannot just be friends with you, good luck with your future plans:

 

This is the actual message, sent the next day after break up: "I could prove to you that you'll never be just a person from my contact list. You are so so so much more than any person on my contact list. You are so special to me. You are such a wonderful and gentle person, you are different to anyone I met before.

All I do is work, I'm getting fed up with this, my life has been all about work for last several years and still I've got nothing and can't afford anything.

It's all crap, I'm chasing something that maybe doesn't exist, but missing on life and all the great things.

I miss speaking to you. Only several hours ago you were still by my side

 

 

So either I'm being strung along, or let off "easy?"

 

Anyway, back to my question, how to prove to her I'm not that kind of guy, I want to be there forever, how do I show this through actions rather than words?

[LCPS87]

Bobowe I think you would be better starting your own thread as this one is for stories of people who have got back together, not a place to tell your ongoing story. If your ex does decide to come back to you, great. Come back and post here then but for now can we keep this on topic please?

[bobowe]

Bobowe I think you would be better starting your own thread as this one is for stories of people who have got back together, not a place to tell your ongoing story. If your ex does decide to come back to you, great. Come back and post here then but for now can we keep this on topic please?

 

This is a reconciling process, been on a date, last night, so I am just looking at next steps, there is a VERY good chance of this becoming a story of reconciliation...

[LCPS87]

This is a reconciling process, been on a date, last night, so I am just looking at next steps, there is a VERY good chance of this becoming a story of reconciliation...

 

That's great news, come back and tell us on this thread when it does become a story of reconcilation!

[kbbcoop77]

I am hoping for a reconciliation story...background....we were engaged 23 years ago...broke up because I had some issues with his mom. Fast forward, we are both married - he for 17 years, me for 15. neither has kids.

Reconnected on FB 4 months ago.. communicate just about every day. had a dinner in March (we live 700 miles apart) I know I still am madly in love with him...Both of our marriages aren't too good...Hoping we have been brought back together for a reason....fingers crossed.

 

So you're both still married but having that great Facebook affair huh? Ugh. That's not a reconciliation story it's a nightmare of destroying 2 families. Hope it's worth it.

[BrokenPetal]

I do love this thread, it gives me hope. I have a few stories of my own though.

 

First love: we split after 8 month relationship, (dragged out for another 5!) then after 2 years NC we got back together for another 9 months.

A number of brief exes in the middle all came back for a second fling.. i wasnt really interested.

Last love: we dated for a year, he left (dragged out for another 2 months) NC for 5 weeks, I wrote him a letter, we texted for another 4 weeks, met up and 2 months later we were back together fo ranother 18 months.. split in Feb only just gone NC...

 

My parents dated for 2 years, split for a year, then got back together and stayed married for another 25!

[GalaxyMe]

Hello everyone! I, like many of you, have read this forum in hopes of reigniting a relationship with my ex, only after reading, realized something much more important.

In summary, I would like to encourage any of those reading with the following (all tips from all the success stories I’ve read on this topic) :

 

LC/NC is really up to you, but I would encourage NC. It prevents you from slipping up, which we all will do (especially as dumpees). It’s an opportune time of reflection and growth. As much as we want to rush back into our lover’s arms, we really have to rediscover the person we were when we met them, and find that person in ourselves that we have lost. Otherwise, we run the risk of trying the relationship again too soon, and we don’t have the lessons we need for the relationship to succeed.

 

NC gives the dumper what they want/need. They need time to process the loss of the relationship, and that is difficult when LC exists. They do not feel the loss or absence, because we are literally right there, waiting. The Dumper may rebound rather quickly, but this is okay. In most reconcile cases, this relationship was dreamed up as GIGS, and will backfire. And by the time it does, you need to be looking, and living an awesome life…it’s appealing, attractive, and will cause them to remember all the good times.

 

So how long is this period of NC? Well most of the stories, it seems that 8 months is the magic number. It allows for the following:

• The dumpee to find themselves and accept the breakup. Life goes on for them.
  
• The Dumper has had time to reflect. Time to appreciate what they lost.
  
• Rebound relationships will have run their course and serve as fresh reminders of what the previous (YOUR) relationship was. Now, hopefully, this will be a good reminder.
  
• NC will create an aura of mystery. It will serve as a window of opportunity to “catch up”.
  
• Arriving out of that NC era as a super-version of yourself, will only lead to good things.
  
• It also allows for the most important thing: time to heal.
  

 

- The important thing to take away, is that PEOPLE DO GET BACK TOGETHER, and if not, LIFE GOES ON. If you weren’t a great person, NC is a way to change that. Time is an opportunity to change, not for your ex, but for you.

 

- If you love your ex, respect their wishes, but also, be in a position to give them the best possible version of yourself when they return – and they will!

 

Here are some reconciliation examples that I know of:

 

• My boss and his gf were together for 5 years. It mysteriously ended, and they were cordial towards each other. He was very mum on the reason why, but I think that helped him. It didn’t create any enemies, and it did not highlight anything negative towards her. About five months later, they were talking again, and by 8 they were together again. I think it’s the happiest I’ve seen them!
  
• 
  
• A girl I studied abroad with, her bf dumped her for about a month. Turns out, he decided he made a mistake by letting her go, and really turned his life around to get her back. And she was happy to have him back, and they’ve been together for a total of 4 years now and still going strong. (BU happened around the 2 year mark)
  

 

 

EX’s do come back. I have 2 previous “long term relationship” exs.

 

• EX1 we dated casually for 3 months, and went into a relationship for 8 months, so a total of 11 months together. He broke up with me, but he came back a year later saying he made a huge mistake. I was dating someone else, kindly refused, and he went onwards. He has cropped up every four months for about 3 years before finally getting the message I wasn’t interested. He also took an unfortunate turn into the drug/alcohol abuse scene, and it’s been sort of downhill slide for him.
  
• 
  
• EX2, we dated for 4 years. 2 of those were great, the last 2, not so much. I broke up with him, was fine for two weeks, then I heard he went out on a date, and I freaked out. I broke down and begged for him to take me back. He did, but after a couple days, he said his heart really wasn’t in it any longer. His rebound relationship lasted about 2 months at the absolute most, but he decided he wanted to give us another shot. I agreed and we became exclusive again. Ironically, he went back to his rebound “to talk” about us getting back together, but they slept together, so I ended it. He returned about six months later, saying he was sorry, but when cheating has occurred, really, there is no point in trying any more – not because it can’t work, but for me personally, I would never be able to trust him again. But the fact of the matter is, he did come back, and has tried to re-enter my life after my latest breakup.
  

 

 

So the best case scenario, build a better you. NC is meant for you to determine whether or not your ex is worth fighting for after those 8, long, months go by. But with any luck and some hardwork, 8 months is not a long time in the grand scheme of things.

 

Become the better you, as not only does the love of your life deserve it, but so do you!! And let’s keep this topic positive!!!

[imogene]

Hey everyone! Just wanted to post an update. This isn't a reconciliation but it's definitely good news.

 

It's been about five months now since my ex and I split up. Since then, I've gone back to university where I'm pursuing my dreams again in the field of engineering, and I've gotten a second job. I'm about to be in a position to purchase a vehicle and I've greatly expanded my social circle by going back to school. To put it lightly, things are AMAZING over here right now and I couldn't be happier with myself. I've been in complete NC with my ex since our split, and I think that's the only reason why I'm doing so well.

 

Am I still sad about our breakup from time to time? Yes, of course. Do I still miss him sometimes? I do. But I've come to the point now where I'm really happy where I am now and I'm actually enjoying being single. And I can't stress this enough: this is the position you REALLY want to be in when you are trying to reconcile with your ex. It's no guarantee that they'll return to you, but if you do decide to open the channels of communication again, you are definitely going to want to be in control of your life and you're definitely going to want to be happy with yourself first.

 

As far as reuniting with my ex goes, we'll see. I'm at the point now where I'm fine with going back to him and fine without him. Perhaps I'll talk to him in a few months, or perhaps not. Don't forget, a hasty reconciliation is more likely to result in another breakup, and in this case, time is your friend. We've only been broken up for five months and, considering the stories I've read on this thread, five months isn't a super long time. Then again, if my ex and I do begin talking again, believe me, you guys will be the first to know.

 

Either way, I'm not worried about it. I've gone on dates and been asked out multiple times by guys at my college and even experienced a crush or two along the way. I just wanted to post this update for those of you who are going through the worst of it right now, just so you can see that yes, it really does get better, but it can't get better until YOU get better first. This was by far the worst breakup I've ever experienced. I was aimless and devastated and miserable for a long time after my ex broke up with me, but it changed only once I got a grip and took control of my life back. If you're still heartbroken right now, I promise that there is light at the end of the tunnel, but you have to make it so. I believe in you guys!

 

Best of luck to everyone!

[meozorchild]

1. My friend who cheated on his gf of 1.5 yes broke up with her because he "fell out of love." 6 months later after some LC and NC he broke down in tears and admitted he cheated but she took him back. Unfortunately, he had not worked out some issues and got cold feet again ("not in love") and she broke up with him after another 2 months.

 

Next 3 are potentially successful reconciliations, albeit works in progress.

 

2. My friend who had a pretty mutual break up with gf heard from her recently after about 4 years asking him out for a coffee. He had an LTR between then and I think he's way more prepared for whatever happens next.

3. Friend broke up with his gf of 1.5 yes, fell out of love again, had GIGS. She played the jealousy card on him super hard and basically got him to start pining for her. They've been meeting up sporadically every year with their own relationships in between and I think those two haven't ended their story yet.

4. My friend is in the process of meeting up with an ex gf of 4 years. He had broken up with her twice (case of cold feet/parent pressure,) she finally broke up with him and they went NC for about 9 months. They're meeting up soon.

 

I've got plenty more I can post if you guys want. In most of these, it was mainly either a technicality (LD) or a fizzlin out / loss of feelings (one of which included infertility.) I'll update on whether the last 3 end in reconciliation.

 

But,as far as any hard rules on whether to go complete in NC or what, it's much better to judge each situation individually. However, a good length of NC seems necessary at one point or another.

[TakeHeart]

A bit long but I need a little advice! My ex and I dated for almost two years (this past May would have been our 2 year anniversary) and it's only been two, almost three months since the break up. It was a messy breakup to be honest.. I'd say a month or so before our breakup, a girl came into his life, as a friend. But she quickly "fell in love" w/ him, was overly affectionate, etc.. even though she knew we were together. When he broke up with me, he immediately dated her. I would honestly say he left me for her, but he denies it lol. (Our relationship did have problems though, I don't deny that.)

 

Anyway, since he broke up with me, his life has gone down hill. These three months we've been in light contact (literally once, the most twice a week?) and he always initiates contact. Every time he talks to me it's (usually) positive (he has a joke to tell, he finds things he knows i like and shows it to me, etc) then it turns into him venting about his life real quick. He used to be very friendly, sweet, shy, etc. But since the breakup and going with her, he's been very sexual (doggish lol), kinda irritable, kinda "cold" but in a general way. A few days ago I called him to get some questions answered and to ask him to stop contacting me UNLESS it's an emergency. He was high (apparently he smokes really often now? he never smoked w/ me, but, okay!) and i hardly got anything out of him, but he just kept asking, "do you hate me?" because i wanted him to leave me alone.

 

I've gotten myself in a waaay better place after the breakup. I've picked back up drawing and I've improved in one month more than I did the whole of last year! I'm working out at home and now at a gym! I'm super positive about all things and especially about life and the future! He's even seen the change in me as early as a WEEK after the breakup. But every time he texts me I'm just waiting for it to be "the" text, y'know? "I miss you, I broke up with ___, take me back!" I'm not even happy with him texting me anymore, it's more anxiety than anything if it's not him asking for another chance lol. Is there anything else I should do or anything I'm doing wrong? I really don't want to date anyone else atm, I'm having fun being single and working on myself.

 

Hopefully my next posts will be about him coming back! Also thank you for this thread! I'm only on page 50 or so all the way back in 2010 / 2011! It's nice to see that people are still keeping this thread active! Thank you for the hope!

[meozorchild]

TakeHeart, you should start your own thread. In it, members (including myself) will give you the advice you want. This is a reconciliation thread.

 

Another reconciliation story cuz I'm feeling generous.

 

My parents split several times when they were young. My father would disappear for weeks without contacting my mother. She would freak out, ball her eyes out. He'd nonchalantly reappear as if he did nothing wrong. She broke up with him several times, fed up with his behavior. Eventually, he got his act together. They've been married for 44 years.

[TakeHeart]

I definitely apologize! I'm not sure how to delete my post now though.

[takeflight]

It's been really comforting reading this thread. Thank you for all the stories. It seems like the most important factors are giving them time and space while working on yourself and learning past mistakes.

 

While I'm trying to learn from my mistakes and work on myself, it makes me miss him a lot. Hopefully things will go well.

 

Stay positive!

[hermione]

I read this thread religiously after my break up last year, and I had been excited knowing that one day I'd post my own reconciliation story here! While I'm sure people break up and get back together all the time, this is actually the only story I know of.

 

My boyfriend and I dated for a little over a year and broke up right before we were going to move in together. He left me saying that he wasn't happy and didn't think we were right together, mainly because we did have a lot of problems and fought a lot. We both had our own issues that contributed to this.

 

We were apart for about 11 months officially. NC and LC for the first couple of months. We "hung out" for a few months but he could tell I was still into him, so I proposed re-exploring romantic feelings for each other to see how it would go (about 6 months post-breakup). We took it very very very slow for the next five months. We started going on dates probably about 2 months ago and are now officially back together, having had all the serious conversations about where we are now etc. He was very reluctant especially in the beginning because he was afraid of things being how they were. Nevertheless we have always been close and had trust in each other, and he was open to working on our relationship and is now as committed as I am.

 

It's not the biggest thing on this forum, but I firmly believe in the power of positive thinking. Even my post about our breakup talked about how sure I was that we would get back together and I never lost that faith. I still did work on myself, exercise, date others, moved and started school etc (he worked on himself a bit, did not date or anything). I credit that faith and those actions I took to move forward personally and professionally as the foundations of our reconciliation. We are both happier now than when we first started dating, and every aspect of our relationship is much better.

 

I hesitate to give advice because I know every situation is different - I hesitated to take advice for the same reason. You know yourself and you hopefully know your partner best. If you believe and want things to work out, you know what you need to do to make that happen (even if it's not what you want to do). Patience and introspection are key, as is the ability to move on knowing that if they are supposed to come back they will.

 

Anyways I am excited to share my reconciliation story with you all and I hope that all the folks reading this find peace and happiness after break ups, whatever that peace and happiness looks like

[Heartbrok3n445]

My ex and I broke up a year into our relationship for two months. I begged, tried to be friends, cried, etc for the first month than finally went NC for another month when he called begging me for another chance. Things changed and we moved in together six months later.

 

He dumped me again two and a half years later. Treated me like absolute crap during the break up. This time I went NC about two weeks into it. Have been NC since. We've been broken up for 7 weeks. I don't think history will repeat itself - I use to but I don't now. He's moved on, loves his group of friends, his life, etc.

 

Tbh I think if he left it another month or so before coming back the first time I wouldn't have taken him back.

 

I'd never go back now. But reconcilliation can happen sometimes. And I hope for those it does happen to that it works out for you!

[InLimbo25]

All of these stories are wonderful. I hope one day I can share my story here

 

a funny fact:

my high school boyfriend and I got back together 10 years later! and we recently broke up again, and he is the one I hope to share this story with. Let's hope it doesn't take us another 10 years to do so.

[stayinpositive]

Hey everyone! This is my first post and just really wanted to thank everyone for sharing their stories. I've been reading this thread a lot over the past two weeks and it has really helped me.

 

I'll post my story in another thread with more detail and to get a perspective on things, but I've been broken up with my ex for just over two months. We had a very good relationship, but in the last few weeks I got cold feet because things were beginning to get very serious. I made the mistake of breaking up with her on an emotional day, the same day I gave the eulogy at my grandmother's funeral. We went NC for 10 days then started talking again. She reached out to me multiple times. We spoke for two weeks, mostly just texting and by the third week I told her what a fool I was for stepping away and asked her back. During that time I did not date or even go out. At first she really considered it. We talked things out for that first week but she wanted to just take a little time to herself. Come to find out she had already been on one date and didn't want to rush back into anything. Until later I didn't realize how badly I hurt her. I knew talking to her wasn't going to do any good, so I wrote her a letter explaining me feelings and how I felt about her in the future so she knew exactly where I stood. The letter worked and she called me and told me how she cried when she read it. But then she also told me how she had been on two dates with someone and he was a really nice guy and she felt like everything I told her should have come two weeks earlier. So right now I'm in my 3rd week of NC. This website has helped me stay strong and realize this is the only way to progress right now.

 

What I have learned from reading everything is that every situation is truly different. I thought what we went through was more of an argument and taking a step back as opposed to a true break up. It's ironic now that she has turned me from being the person that dumped her and her being the dumpee to me truly being the dumpee. I have no doubt in my mind that we are right for each other. I do believe that one day we will be back together. It was true love and we both felt that way. She told me two weeks after we broke up that there was no doubt in her mind that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. That's part of the reason I've been so confused and thought this process would be easier. Hopefully I'll be able to post again and add my own story as a reconciliation story.

 

Through this whole process I've talked to a lot of people about their relationships, especially people who are now married or people who have been dating for a while. What I have learned is that probably 9/10 people who are either married or in a long relationship broke up at some point in time. You have to be able to go through a rough patch to realize what you mean to each other and by going through that process you become stronger.

 

Two stories:

 

My parents split up twice. The first time they were dating in high school and my dad split when he went off to college. That didn't last long and they began to date again. Well as they got serious and marriage was getting closer, my dad got cold feet and split up with my mom again. Well my mom still loved my dad but decided to go out on a date. My dad found out and realized that if he didn't want anyone else to date my mom he was the only person that could change that. They get married and the rest is history. They have been married for 35 years and have two kids.

 

My buddy and his gf split up last fall. They had been dating roughly 8 months. He was getting very serious and she wasn't sure what she wanted. An argument led to them splitting up. She began talking to my gf at the time about it and she just wasn't ready to settle down. About three weeks later she realized she made a huge mistake and asked him back. He was still in love with her and took her back and they have been together for over a year now and going strong.

 

I have more stories that I found out about that I will continue to post. Thanks for being such a strong and supportive community for the people that are really suffering!

 

I'm taking the time to work on myself. I've lost 20 lbs the first 3 weeks apart. That was mostly bc to depression. I was in good shape but there are always room for improvements. I'm already starting to implement the changes I need to make to take our relationship to the next level. I've started a great career and I'm taking advantage of friends and family. Stay strong everyone and allow time to work.

[Mariaa1]

Hi everybody

 

I just decided to become a member after reading all these stories. My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me for a month ago. These stories really help me think nothing is impossible. Hopefully one day I'll post my story of how I got my love back.

 

I have actually two stories that ended with a happy ending.

 

The first is actually about the parents of my ex. I don't know any details, but my ex told me that his parents used to date for some time, then broke up. His father started dating another woman. Somehow this ended. And his parents got back together and had my ex and his brothers.

 

The other story is about a friend of mine. She dated a guy for more less a year. Somehow she found out that he was with other girls and they broke up. I think she was the one leaving him but I'm not sure. Anyway a lot of things happened in his life and he contacted her for some support and love. I think she was still in love although he had hurted her a lot. I don't know about the details but I met her for some months ago. They are back together and she is really happy.