Getting back together really does happen!

[CutieGirl]

I LOVE THIS POST! It's just what I needed right now.

 

I had a question though:

I've see in many of the post that the couple that broke up were together for YEARS. I was only with this man for 5 months, but I felt I had finally found my soul mate.

 

In the beginning we did have a brief break up in our 1st month but after about 10 days I text him, we talked, got back together and things blossomed into the most promising, beautiful relationship I had ever known. Then our journey ended because he lost interest, doubted his abilities to make me happy, etc. I was devastated. I had felt him slipping away and had worked myself to exhaustion trying to save our relationship, but the more I presses the more aloof he became. I know he didn't leave because of another woman.

 

When things were good they were wonderful. Lots of intense love, planning for the future and free flowing communication. All of a sudden he ended it.

 

I didn't try to convince him to stay this time. I didn't say anything actually. In fact I immediately gave him all his belongings AND all the gifts he'd ever given me and said Bye. I still love him, but don't recognize him anymore. Although I miss him a lot, I am 11 days into NC and do not plan to ever reach out to him again. If we make-up it will be because he initiates it. I sent him one final text the day after the break up telling him know he needs to sort things out for the sake of his happiness. I told him I'm still the friend that loves him, is praying for him and is concerned about him. I told him that if he needs me I'm here and to take care of himself.

 

I am doing all I can to be strong and move forward.

 

I just wanted to know if you think reconciliation can happen with a couple that had NOT been together very long. He's a little older than me (52/41) and can be very set in his decisions sometimes. Even though I think he regrets leaving, I fear his pride will keep him from reconciling. I truly believe he does love me, but lost passion for me. He had been struggling with a lot of depression and self doubt when he ended it. I'd always have to coax him back in when he was feeling unsure about our relationship.

 

Do stubborn men come back eventually?

[octour]

Maybe he's not being stubborn and just doens't want to go back to what drove him to leave in the first place.

 

You'd be better off opening your own thread. You'll get more responses that way.

[HopelessDream]

Read every single post in this thread and I just want to say that it makes me happy. Not once did I feel like it was giving me false hope because the basis of most reconciliations is that both parties separated and worked on themselves without thoughts of getting back together. I'm currently in my 3rd week of NC breakup happened almost 4 weeks ago. He was my highschool sweetheart and first love. He left me for another girl.

 

As for stories well I have two that aren't really "success" stories but show that people do come back.

 

1. My cousin was dating a girl in highschool for a few years. She cheated on him and they broke up for awhile. A few months later they got back together again and were together again for I think almost 2 years. Unfortunately she cheated on him again so not exactly a happy story.

 

2. I actually broke up with my current ex for about 2 weeks because I thought I liked another guy. I regretted it very quickly and went back to him but as you can tell it did't actually work out.

 

I know these stories aren't actually positive but they do show that people can come back. I think often times ex's do come back but it takes a lot of work and love for it to truly work out for the better. Best of luck to everyone! This thread is awesome!

[Cope and Hope]

Here's a new story that has been popular lately. Enjoy.

 

link removed

[thebigman]

thats a really nice story, thanks for sharing.

[HopelessDream]

Bump Bump Bump it up... Anyone got anyone good stories today? Its rainy near me and I could use some happiness

[maron]

Tired Tiger's spoken about this topic before: link removed

 

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if the links have been posted before, well... they're back! they never left anyway.

[strongerme]

i have a few stories.

my best friend in university. she and her first love started young, the guy is crazy for her. they went to different uni, as a result, she met a new guy and broke up with him. the guy came begging and everything, even called me to see if he still has a chance. she was firm. going out with the new guy for a while, 6 months later, she broke up with him with no reason. The second guy also begged and everything, and it turned sour. after a while she and the first bf reconciled. fast forward 3 or 4 years later, she went to a big city for work, he went to another country to do a master. i did not know the details, but they broke up, amicably. the guy soon found someone and got married, the girl later married too. 3 or 4 years later to the present day, she got divorced recently, and the guy and his wife were separated long time ago. i have a feeling they will end up together.

my friend's cousin. his gf left him for another guy, back 1 year later, now married and have a son.

my friend, bf left for another girl, crawling back 6 months later, but the girl has moved on. now the girl is happily married with a daughter.

[jenna-is-here]

My ex from 4 years ago recently started contacting me asking for another chance. We lived together 3.5 years and when he didn't want to get married, I kicked him out. WE WERE NO CONTACT FROM THE DAY HE LEFT!!!

 

I am no longer interested in him because of some shady things he did back then but I could marry him tomorrow because he is so hung up on it. I think truly thought the grass was greener and went out in the world, dated, and it was not what he thought.

 

But on the otherhand, I have had a few ex's I never heard from again. My friend and I believe, if you treat your partner real good, at some point, usually when you really don't care at all anymore, they pop up. Not sure why that is...the universe of push-pull, I guess.

 

It can happen. I think my motto these days after breakup is, move on but never give up hope. You could reunite with a loved one 20 years from now. You never know.

[thebigman]

i found out yesterday that one of my best friends is meeting up with his ex gf after a very nasty break up and 6 YEARS of nc. if they get back together is another story but i know that both him and her still have feelings there after all this time, despite how well he hides it.

[pixel clouds]

Ok, I have two stories

 

- A couple I used to work with broke up after 6 years, when he cheated. 2 years later they are back together and (as far as I can tell from Facebook) seem very happy... I think they might even be engaged now.

 

- Me and my ex got back together after a break up, it was a slow process that dragged out over about 7 months while he decided what he wanted out of life. By the time he came back I didn't really care either way anymore, to the point that he was going to propose and I stopped him.

Two and a half years later we actually just broke up again, but for a completely different reason. I'm not too confident we'll get back together this time.

 

But anyway, my advice here just echoes what I've read everywhere else, either way you have to move on. my ex was definitely most into me when I wasn't that bothered about him.

[the dude91]

My now Fiance and I broke up for only like 5 months I believe, a lot of drama and back and forth emotions with that one until I was fed up and completely cut all contact. Then she begged for me back, then when I finally agreed it was still a little bit of a rough process since we both changed a bit but now we're better than ever.

[pettypink]

I thought I'd post a few. Just remember, getting back together is not a guarantee. This hope might set your healing back a little (as it did for me in the first few months, and even now a bit).

 

- My one roommate was with her boyfriend for three years - they were perfect. Everyone thought they would get married. He broke up with her because he wasn't ready to commit for long term. She was heartbroken for about 4-5 months (her "summer of hell"). She just slept and cried and worked and got through the days. They went NC for about 2 months before he contacted her and they started talking and hooking up again. This continued for a year, but he wouldn't commit still. She then decided to date other guys (leading to a string of terrible dates haha) until she found a guy she really liked. Unfortunately, he moved away and so she continued to see other guys. Her ex came begging for her back (1.5 years later) and they got back together after talking for a few months. They were strong, however he had changed a bit too much during that time. They broke up mutually after 5 months back together but are on very good terms and continue to talk often. I think there are still some feelings there though!

 

- My other roommate dated her bf also for 3 years. they were very cute and hung out often, although they were long distance. He broke up with her early September because he felt she didn't integrate herself with his family (she's very shy and introverted but it was still a flaw for him). She was devastated for a few weeks but then started seeing another guy. Her ex asked her to get back together in November but she declined as she wants to see where things go with this new guy. She very actively tried to move on from him.

 

- My newest roommate dated her ex for 2 years. He broke up with her over what he thought were trust issues (but really a misunderstanding). They started talking about getting back together 10 months after the break up (and straight NC for about 8 of those months) but he accused her of something she didn't do and she cut him out.

 

- My ex's roommate and his girlfriend broke up after 1 year for about 2 weeks. They are still going strong now, 5 years later.

 

- My best friend's roommate and her boyfriend broke up 2 years ago. They had been together for about 4 years I believe? She was a mess - crying about it on facebook and just generally hurting a lot (he ended it to see other girls). I looked at her fb page recently and they have been back together for about a year now - looking very happy.

 

Unfortunately, I dont think my ex and I will be getting back together - he seems very set in his ways and I also made many mistakes. We weren't together that long. But I do fantasize about it and miss him immensely.

[Phatb618]

Reading these posts have been great! Gives me hope!!! I know, hope, can be dangerous!

 

My ex and I were together for almost 6 years and she broke up with me almost 5 months ago. Did NC, did LC and she came back to me to talk about trying in October. We were both back and forth, up and down and things just dragged. During our conversations about trying she was seeing someone and so was I. I stopped seeing the girl I was with but she didn't do the same.

 

Anyway, she now recently about 2 weeks ago says she's in love with the guy she's with. However, i proposed to her and her response when i proposed was a smile on her face, then her covering her mouth in happy delight and then saying with a sweet voice, "you're crazy...you're crazy" followed by, "I've wanted this for so long, for so long. It's not fair, it's not fair, you do this now, when I'm seeing someone, what am I suppose to do about him?" So does that sound like someone "in love" and honestly if you look up the definition of a rebound relationship, hers would be EXACTLY it!

 

Her: Started seeing this guy 2-3 weeks after we ended. She has been depressed, confused, lonely, All her own words. What she kept saying to me is this guy has been exactly what she wanted emotionally from me. So again, he has provided exactly what she "needed" right after the break up. Attention. I've read a lot on it and again, her relationship is the definition of REBOUND!

 

Anyway, I just hope she can realize things because She is the love of my life! But one thing I've learned from reading here is, you have to let go and move on. Only then it seems that if its meant to be, it will be. If she can see that she is only in love with what this guy does for her now and not in love with him, I can hopefully post my story of getting back together...

[Phatb618]

Actually I do have a sort of get back together story...

 

My ex-ex, after hearing about my current ex and I breaking up calls me and tells me that she's always still loved me and that she wants us to be together. And that she thinks this her opportunity to let me know what she is thinking and feeling. It came out of nowhere! I mean I always had a feeling I could go back anytime but for her to say it was kind of a surprise. We hadn't been together since January 2005! Over 7 years!!

[maron]

Actually I do have a sort of get back together story...

 

My ex-ex, after hearing about my current ex and I breaking up calls me and tells me that she's always still loved me and that she wants us to be together. And that she thinks this her opportunity to let me know what she is thinking and feeling. It came out of nowhere! I mean I always had a feeling I could go back anytime but for her to say it was kind of a surprise. We hadn't been together since January 2005! Over 7 years!!

 

why not? if you didn't have feelings for your other ex, would you have given this another try? or were things so bad with her?

[pettypink]

Another one:

 

My friend and her bf dated for about 4 years. She cheated on him in Nov/Dec 2010 with another guy she had feelings for. I'm not sure who broke up with who but they broke up in Dec. By March they were back together. She said they didn't talk for a few weeks in that time. They both worked incredibly hard at getting the trust back and have been together since March 2011. They seem happy now.

 

I hope mine comes back

[JJ2980]

I can think of one although it doesn't have a happy ending

 

My little sis got with her husband just before she turned 16. My bro-in-law is a year older. Anyway they had a very emotionally-charged relationship - when they were in love they loved deeply but when they were arguing it was destructive. Fast forward 3 years and she gets pregnant with her first son and my bro-in-law leaves her when she is 3 months pregnant as she told him to cut out the partying/boozing and he wasn't prepared to make that sacrifice. We didn't see him again till their son was 5 months old. As soon as he enters the scene again he begs and pleads and manages to convince my sis to take him back. They then get married about 6 months after that. Fast forward a year later and they break up again when 2nd son is 3 months old. And yes it was due to the same problems as before - my bro-n-law refused to change his party lifestyle. This time it was a major break up and he disappears for 3 years. He then comes back again and after a one night stand son no. 3 is conceived but my bro-in-law doesn't bother sticking around and so for the 3rd time my sis is pregnant and alone (remember this is her husband). Anyway time goes by and another 2 years later my idiotic bro-in-law comes back again and my sister starts secretly seeing him again behind our backs (no one in my family likes him because he has only brought trouble and heartbreak and also because he's a useless father who puts his needs before his children). Once again they are only together for a short period - I think it lasted a total 4 months and now he's gone again. The only good thing to come out of all of this is that my sister has finally had enough and has started divorce proceedings. The many failed attempts at reconciliation were good in that my sister now knows she tried every which way to keep her family together but it just wasn't meant to be. My bro-in-law thinks only of himself and his needs and unfortunately if you want to have a successful relationship you can't be putting yourself first and foremost all the time.

[Phatb618]

why not? if you didn't have feelings for your other ex, would you have given this another try? or were things so bad with her?

 

Yeah, things were too bad. We have a daughter together and she really manipulated me through her and at the same time put a lot of stress on the relationship with my current ex. So things were too damaged.

[Phatb618]

Hey Maron, I read your blog/posts on here. How long we're you and your ex together? How long has it been since your break up?

[jenna-is-here]

Not sure if this link has been posted yet, stumbled upon some more breakup / get back together stories on this wedding board:

 

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[Bristolbish]

Hey guys, I hope one day to be posting my story ( wishful thinking I think). Feel free to check my posts and comment.

Also my younger sister and her boyfriend starting going out in thier early teens. Broke up a couple of times ( longest time for a year) more recent break up was for a few months my sister got flu and her ex was there for her and they got back together. They are now 25 and married and my nephew is due in April xxx

[pettypink]

I have a new one - a friend of mine from work and his girlfriend broke up in July after almost 2 years together. She dumped him. She started seeing another guy right away (might have had feelings for him during the relationship with my friend). My friend was completely heartbroken, didn't go into work for a few days I think. They talked often and would hook up, even while she was seeing the other guy. He finally broke and told her to make a decision in November. She decided on the new guy. t broke his heart, but he was able to jump right back up. My friend stopped initiating conversations with her, and became very non-chalant (not as an act, he truly was starting to get over her and not care as much). She started chasing. About a month later (late December), she asked to visit him and he let her. They started flirting again and are now taking it slow. She came to his party last night and they were flirting non stop again. The other guy is out of the picture. They were separated for 6-7 months.

 

I remember how DEVASTATED he was when she left. She was pretty cruel, updating her blog (that he read) about the new guy, stringing along my friend, etc. He finally was able to take back the power and make her chase him.

[GuDe]

If only it were that easy

 

Good for them though.

[Javabear]

All of these stories are so uplifting and I can't help but think that if my ex has any sense at all he'll come back to me eventually. He left me after 3 years because he had a crush on another girl (who, as it turns out, doesn't seem too interested in being his girlfriend) and all of this happened very fast... over the course of 10 days. He's texted me a couple times since trying to be friendly but until he's knocking down my door admitting he made the biggest mistake of his life, I'm not giving him the satisfaction of a response.

 

I have two getting-back-together stories:

 

1. My close friend and her boyfriend (they're 21 and 22 now) started dating our junior year of high school. They went to two different colleges and during the middle of their second year of college she broke up with him because he was controlling and smothering (he insisted that they see each other every weekend, he didn't want her to party or join a sorority etc.). They were apart for about 6 months during which she lost her virginity to a random guy she was kind of seeing and had a few other casual relationships. Her boyfriend didn't date anyone else. Then, one day she said she woke up and realized how selfish she was for breaking up with her boyfriend and that he was the one she really wanted to be with. They got back together two years ago and are both graduating college this year and are getting married this summer.

 

2. My aunt and uncle met in their late teens and started dating. They dated for a few years but then my uncle said he felt like their relationship just wasn't working out. He broke up with her right before he left for graduate school. She moved away to live with her sister. Then, after 6 months of being apart my uncle realized (much like my friend above did) that my aunt was the love of his life and he had to be with her. He got on a bus, spent 3 days traveling accross the country, showed up where she was living and the rest is history. They've been married for 35 years.

 

So, there is hope even in the most hopeless of situations. Part of me thrives on this knowledge because I do miss my boyfriend and I have an inkling that it's not goodbye forever for us. But at the same time, hope is a dangerous thing. I guess the adage that "if it's meant to be it will be" is all we can really hold on to. But seriously, what is it with the 6 month mark?