Getting back together really does happen!

[xstar]

link removed

[Armooo]

I have now realised that all my exs have came back.

1. He came back after only a few weeks. We got back but we were young and it never worked out.

2. He came back years later, butId moved on.

3. I finished him due to gigs, came back 2 months later. However, 9 months after he put his hands on me and that was the end of that.

4. He is back yet, but the way things are moving its looking good. I truly hope he does come back

Ill post some more in minute I just have to do something

[Armooo]

1. My brother and his gf didn break up but nearly did, she moved out of their house together and lived with her parents. They are now planning to get married when my brother finds a new job.

2. My cousins bf was texting someone else with the plans to meet up, she found out and was obviously devestated. After a few months they sorted things out and are now planning to get married.

3. My friends OH, who she has a son with, left her last year. They broke up for 5 months and got back together again. However he left her again in january, wanted her back a month later, she realised shes better off without him!

4. My other friend had 2 kids with her ex when he left her for another women. Months later he wanted her back, but shed moved on. She then broke up with the man she moved onto, they got back together a few months later and are now engaged.

5. My friends mum and dad broke up around christmas, hated each other but still lived in the same house. In march they worked things out.

6. My exs dad left his mum before my ex was born. After a few months he came back and they have been married for 20 odd years now.

Getting back together is the easy part, and does happen often. Its the keeping it together that is the hard part.

[kittycat12]

Well it hasn't happened to me and by the look of things I don't think it will...

But I do have a good story a friend of mine was with her boyfriend for 10 months they broke up..she had other boyfriends I don't know about him but they got back togheter after about 15 months on being separated I don't know the details but they are incredibly happy

[undercover007]

I have another story..

 

my best friend was with her high school sweetheart for 3 years but they knew each other for longer than that. Anyway, they ended up breaking up because my friend went off to college in another state. They tried to do long distance for a little bit but it didn't work. My friend went to date other people and had several long relationships during her college years. Her ex dated someone else as well but nothing really serious. Every time she would come back to visit back home, they would meet up and their connection was still there but she knew it wouldn't work due to the distance. They maintained low contact and then kind of had a falling out. She came back to visit home once but they didn't see each other. Then the next year they somehow started talking again and she came back to visit. They realized they still loved each other and then he decided to move up with her in Seattle! Now they are living together!

[ks1986]

I'm finally getting around to posting a few stories I have after reading this thread in it's entirety.

These first few are exes coming back, but me not being interested:

 

-I had a bf in high school that was on an off for several months and they really toyed with me, but I kept playing along. About 5 years later or so with no contact, they became aware of the internet and have since sent me several messages asking me out on a date. Not interested!

 

-I was with someone for about 2 years and was living with them most of that time. They cheated on me several times but dumped me and threw me out when I did the same thing. After about 2 years, I was curious and messaged them and they immediately responded that they wanted to try again and that they regretted ending things and wanted to start over fresh. I declined and they said they could no longer speak to me and didn't want to be friends. Fine with me.

 

-I actually ended up in a relationship right after this last one and it lasted about a year before they dumped me and I moved back home because of our living and financial situation. We remained friends the entire time and I've moved on and have no desire to reconcile because I see that the relationship was flawed. They however make mention of how they think we will end up back together some day and that they regretted ending things and they've seen the change in me since the breakup and the more time goes by the more they want a relationship with me again! Sadly, I think they've been moving backwards instead of forward...

[undercover007]

Just thought of another story... not a reconciliation story but she had the possibility of reconciling....

 

One of my friends was with her bf for 5 years. She moved down for him and they lived together. They broke up a couple times but always managed to get back together. Then towards the end of the relationship, her bf wasn't really putting effort into the relationship anymore. She got tired of it and then she decided to break up with him. She told him exactly what she wanted and if he would fight for her and show that he still cares, she would take him back.

 

Well he didn't. He didn't want to and chose to be single. She was devastated and even tried to call him cause she missed him. He admitted that he was seeing other girls and although she was the one that broke it off, she couldn't imagine him dating other girls. Well she finally decided to move on with her life and did everything possible to get over him. She went out every night (that was her way of coping with the breakup), she made new friends and just kept herself busy. She also started her own business with a friend. Finally 3 months later he contacted her and told her he missed her. But by that time she had found someone else! Now she is getting married to her new guy and he treats her like a princess!

[AllUNeedIsLove]

one of the many people I know got back together with his gf today. They broke up sept 2011...so they were apart for months Im not sure as to what happened between them and how they got back together but they did.

 

This isnt an ex boyfriend or someone of interest but someone ive known for yrs actually started to have a crush on me even when he didnt like me back when he first met me, this just goes to show how people and situations change.

 

Then there is the story of one of my moms friends who was married with kids bit the husband cheated on her. So they separated for about 2 yrs before they got back

together.

 

As for my situation, I dont think the ex is coming back due to the fact that he now has a new gf....oh well.

[dumPI]

It would be interesting to get more facts about how people get back. Who started the approach, were they NC, how long were they apart ... every situation is different. But there must be some things in common.

[markie6]

the only thing which is definitive about reconcilliations is the number 1 fact

 

It takes 2 people who want to do it

 

 

 

It would be interesting to get more facts about how people get back. Who started the approach, were they NC, how long were they apart ... every situation is different. But there must be some things in common.

[paradiselost]

link removed

[ks1986]

It would be interesting to get more facts about how people get back. Who started the approach, were they NC, how long were they apart ... every situation is different. But there must be some things in common.

 

There is definitely a pattern that most success stories follow. It seems like an average of 6 months is the bare minimum for a successful reconciliation. Anything sooner is not enough time most likely, however of course there are rare exceptions. It seems like the average range is 6 months to 1 year. It seems to be the dumper coming back in the vast majority of stories or simply running into each other where nobody really initiates it but you hit it off again. In most success stories, contact was completely cut off or limited. This really drives the point home of the importance of NC!

[Armooo]

See I dont know about the time range as a few I have seen on here, and all the ones I know ofmyself have been 6 months or less. And all but 1 have been comlete successes up to this point.

[ks1986]

See I dont know about the time range as a few I have seen on here, and all the ones I know ofmyself have been 6 months or less. And all but 1 have been comlete successes up to this point.

 

I've read this entire thread and that's where I got my estimated time range from. Reconciliation a lot of times happens sooner than 6 months, but in most cases it results in another breakup because not enough time has passed for there to be enough change with both people. Of course there are exceptions as I already stated, but I'm generalizing here. I will point out though that the time range for reconciliation got shorter the further into the thread I got. It went from about a year for most stories to about 6 months toward the most recent posts. Perhaps people are making up faster than they did in 2009 when this thread started!

[Armooo]

Haha, maybe they are. All depends on the peopleand the breakup.

Eery person I know in a long term relationship has broken up at some point, it seems to me that a break ip is needed for a lot of relationships. God only knows why!

[paradiselost]

Happened to a guy at work.....

 

Got married - his wife wanted kids and he didnt

 

They broke up and he moved out.

 

8 months later his wife called him and spoke and told him listen come home, lets have a kid, if it works out great, if not leave and I will take care of baby alone.

 

Goes home, they have baby and 15 years later still together and happy!

[sushigirlie]

Not challenging you, but clarifying, or supplementing your post . It is healthy to have a significant time for development and no contact. But I noticed that for younger people extended duration of NC is desired, but for more mature couples (35 and greater), it's not a prerequisite. Any thoughts?...

[flatplane]

In answer to the above, IMO yes it is. More so for younger people as they haven't yet formed their identity. However I believe regardless of age you need a period of NC for both parties to start thinking more clearly. Certainly the dumpee anyway.

[HopefulNessie]

In answer to the above, IMO yes it is. More so for younger people as they haven't yet formed their identity. However I believe regardless of age you need a period of NC for both parties to start thinking more clearly. Certainly the dumpee anyway.

 

I agree with you. I'm 23 and my dumper is 30. He knew what he wanted a lot sooner than I did and I've really found my identity during NC and I'm sad that it took this to make me open my eyes. But it is what it is. I hope he realizes the changes I've made and decides he wants to give it another go and communicate better with me.

[AllUNeedIsLove]

I found this link removed by a woman who was getting married, but her engagement breaks off. She doesn't say what happened, but they renewed their engagement and it went from one year to the next. Goes to show you how sometimes it takes months to get back together.

[Armooo]

Yeah younger people seem to take longer to return.

Sadly my friends bf broke up with her after 6 months to return to his ex, who he was 'never going to get back with'.

I hope my ex fiance comes back soon, but I honestly think he will

[xstar]

Wanted to add two stories to this thread!

 

The first one is about my mom - it's not a reconciliation story but nonetheless a happy ending. She was dating a guy for two years she was madly in love with but he had some family issues. One day he disappears. No word, no nothing - my mom just finds out that he left. She is devastated, quits her job and leaves the country to stay with friends for three months. Comes back and start living her life again. Shortly after, meets another guy, gets married and gets pregnant. When she's visibly pregnant - the first guy comes back, about 1.5 years later, saying that he loves her and wants to be with her. She's just like.. ugh, I'm happily married. My parents have been married for 30 years now. She's very happy she ended up with my dad instead of the first guy.

 

The second is about one of my friends. She's a groupie for indie bands and met a musician while following the band around on tour. She hooked up with him the first night after meeting him and they continue to hook up when he was in her town. But after a few months, he got tired of it and started telling her things like ' I like you like a little sister" and "It's not going to work". She tried really hard to get him to see her (even though they were just FWB). Eventually he stopped responding and started dating a porn star. She gets on with her life.. really miserable. Decides that she's tired for being miserable for two years after this guy, wants to be in the music world, quits her job and moves to LA. Ends up running into the guy who lives in LA too through mutual friends. She's not into him anymore but stays polite to not make things weird for her friends. In the meantime, during the time they were apart he got the fun out of his system and wanted to settled down. Six months later they move in together and are getting married after living together for 2 years. I still don't like him for a million reasons but she's very happy.

[confused1979]

Great post, so much negativity, people always say it's called a break up for a reason, she doesn't care, move on. I know I turned to this site for some hope, we all know that the chances are slim but the fact there is a chance and success stories gives those of us in love hope

 

My mate just got married, his wife and him had split up 3 times over many years and now they are married and extremely happy. He told me to not give up hope.

 

Another friend of mine just got back with her ex.

 

Be realistic but if you believe don't let anyone tell you otherwise

[ks1986]

Great post, so much negativity, people always say it's called a break up for a reason, she doesn't care, move on. I know I turned to this site for some hope, we all know that the chances are slim but the fact there is a chance and success stories gives those of us in love hope

 

My mate just got married, his wife and him had split up 3 times over many years and now they are married and extremely happy. He told me to not give up hope.

 

Another friend of mine just got back with her ex.

 

Be realistic but if you believe don't let anyone tell you otherwise

 

Yeah, there were several people saying this thread was giving false hope, but the funny thing is that reading through this thread actually helped me move on. It made me realize that I wasn't going to get the instant reconciliation that I wanted and that I had to focus on myself and move on and cut him out of my life. I recognized that the time it would take for any reconciliation to happen would be longer than it would take me to just move on and get over it and I'm most of the way there!

[Armooo]

To be honest I believe there is quite a big chance of getting back with someone. As you have seen I have alot of stories not just to do with me, but people I know aswell.

All my exs comeback, eventhough it didnt work out between us they came back. And in the final end I was the one doing the dumping.

Getting back together is the easy part, its keeping together which is hard.