Getting back together really does happen!

[user1988]

With the NC, did you just completely stop talking to him out of nowhere and just ignore him when he tried or did you tell him you werent talking to him anymore?

 

No out of nowhere, he should have expected it since the last thing he told me before I went NC was to get the "F out of his life," so that's exactly what I did. This was end of September, he reached out to me mid October. At that time I thought maybe we can start talking again, WRONG.... he still told me he didn't ever want to see me to avoid drama and I remember coming to see him anyways to have that last confrontation, he just stood there while I cried. That night something in me just died so I texted him and said I gave up on us and to have a good life, from that day on I had no urge to text or call him, I no longer reached for my phone, I no longer had my phone attached to me all the time either.

 

Well guess what, the man who arrogantly said to leave him alone texted me on halloween and thanksgiving, I didn't think much of the greeting texts so just politely thanked him. I never initiated any further reply, I never replied in a way that made room for him to reply either. By the beginning of December he started reaching out more and more, random trivial texts and then a phone call that had him saying he thought I called but now realize it's his cousin with the same name. Again, politely answered his questions then hung up.

 

But right now even though he calls and texts every other day or even everyday at times I don't feel that happy. I'm going to go with what I know right now and not assume that he wants to get back together unless he brings it up and changes. He left me, he left me in despair and grieving. He told me he didn't want me in his life, right now I still can't forgive him. Maybe if he shows me he's sorry and do something, idk anything to prove it then I can let go of my pain but there's no way in hell that he can just pretend nothing happened.

 

I know you're in a lot of pain but I promise you it'll get better with time. I understand you said your GF is headstrong but that's what I thought of my ex too, but it happened. Just have some faith and don't contact her, what you don't know can't hurt you.

[Minx2012]

I think all these stories are exceptions...and not the rule. They are very rare indeed. I have a feeling that if my ex and I ever broke up ( since we are hitting the rocks with this new long distance situation ), we would get back, stronger than ever, bc our relationship is pretty intense. The relationship has to be intense in the first place in order for the thoughts of reconciliation to come back, that no other woman or man can topple the memories.

[MakeItCount]

A close friend of mine got dumped by his gf (also a close friend), after about 7 months of dating. I got both their sides of the story. She lost attraction for him, said she felt "meh" when they were together. He pleaded, begged and told her that they would be together again. It got to the point where she told him off in a very rude manner. "Some really hurtful things were said" is what I got from both of them. They didn't speak for two months. Then, they got together at a Halloween party, and hooked up. Hung out a few more times and got back together. Been together for a year or so now I believe, and are going strong. Great people, and a cool story.

 

Just remember people, time heals all. Don't want to give false hope, but just remember that no matter how bad it ends, there's always a chance if the people were right for each other.

[guiltyflood]

Gah! This is a great thread, but I certainly hope it doesn't lead me to false hope. I'm going to soon ask my ex if she wants to join me next week for coffee (one of those, "I'll be here during these times, if you care to join"). But all this thread does is lead my mind to wander...

[Mills]

My first boyfriend.. from when I was in high school - treated me horribly and broke up with me. Being my first boyfriend I was pretty upset... years later.. when I was in college - he added me on facebook and saw me at the bar, he tried contacting me and even sent a message apologizing for his behavior, and that I was beautiful and had a lot going for me. I eventually blocked him on facebook because he creeped me out. lol

 

Another guy I had a thing for about 4 years ago, did not want anything to do with me. He was the player type, barely gave me the time of day. Now he's my friend and he's witnessed me going through this time with my current ex boyfriend.. he sent me a text the other night saying "you are gorgeous and deserve so much better than that and I'd take you out but I know i lost my chance." I didnt even reply, I don't have feelings like that for him anymore. Ya snooze ya lose, ya know?

 

A 3rd guy, actually the guy i lost my virginity to... treated me like crap, basically just used me ... a few years later asked me out to lunch sometime. I declined.

 

All of these men I just dropped like a bad habit and stopped gracing them with my presence or attention anymore. One day they realize what they lost.

 

As of last night I decided not to contact my ex anymore and completely disappear off his radar.. it's been 3 months of me pining for him. I hope that one day he will come crawling back and realize how he messed up and what he's lost. Only time will tell.

[markyspark]

I agree with you faithful - months of NC seems to be the way these things work...

 

I'm hopeful, that me and my ex can sort things - we had two minor splits (about 2 weeks, with LC) and then the biggie in June, and we've not spoken since the night I left..So i'm at about 6.5 months NC

 

I will admit to breaking NC a few times, but i've been blocked on FB etc, but not on MSN, when I try to initiate convo with her on MSN, I get no response..However I do find it odd shes not blocked me

 

If we could have worked through our issues, I would have been popping the question this christmas..but hey, thats the way the cookie crumbles, I guess...

 

I have moved things on, new job - generally keep myself active, should get my bike fixed and get out on it a bit more..lol - but if we sort things then great..but at the moment, I'm at the 'not pinning hopes' stage of things..I firmly believe if we are meant to be, then we will be..

 

Right...I'll stop rambling now!

 

Mark

[harsh284]

Really encouraging to see such a positive attitude - Helps me to get positive - I am a very negative person as such -Thanks

[markyspark]

Really encouraging to see such a positive attitude - Helps me to get positive - I am a very negative person as such -Thanks

 

Well, I'm doing what I can to keep positive, and I do know how hard it is - a number of people have spoken about positive mental attitude and all that..I will admit to being down in the dumps for a bit, but thats just natural, I guess..

 

I'm working with the idea of LOA, it may happen it may not..as I say, the MSN thing is kinda puzzling, but i'm not putting too much 'weight' on that.

 

Theres some fantastic threads on here about things working out, so keep your hopes up, stay positive...but know where the point is where you say 'thats enough'

 

Mark

[harsh284]

Well, I'm doing what I can to keep positive, and I do know how hard it is - a number of people have spoken about positive mental attitude and all that..I will admit to being down in the dumps for a bit, but thats just natural, I guess..

 

I'm working with the idea of LOA, it may happen it may not..as I say, the MSN thing is kinda puzzling, but i'm not putting too much 'weight' on that.

 

Theres some fantastic threads on here about things working out, so keep your hopes up, stay positive...but know where the point is where you say 'thats enough'

 

Mark

 

I just hope I am not keeping wrong hopes

[markyspark]

I just hope I am not keeping wrong hopes

 

Well...I guess thats one of those "wait and see" cases

[deanlanders]

What do you think of this suituation guys?

 

Well 6 months ago I broke up with my ex girlfriend of 2 years truly through anger. I didnt mean it, I was so annoyed and upset that night I didnt know what I was doing I have learned from this also my ex knows am sorry to.

 

Basically 3 days after we split my ex got with someone from a different country (Demark) She has seen him twice in 6 months but is going over to visit her bf next week. Recently my ex has told me she wants me back but not just yet theres no rush, I know she isnt playing me along because she isnt that type of girl trust me. Her mum wants her to get back with me and my ex tells me I have a good chance in getting her back. Last friday my ex wanted to meet me, so I met her and we talked then we started to kiss.

 

A few months ago my ex didnt even talk to me, for about 2 months now me and my ex has started to get closer.

 

Is there a chance in me getting back with my ex in future? what shall I do from now? help wanted please

[markyspark]

Its certainly looking possible..just take things slowly

[kuteknish]

baby steps - don't rush anything.. take it slow and casual.. let things flow naturally.

[milkyway17]

I just read this whole thread today...haha. It made me feel better though, but I hope I'm not getting any false hopes. The BU is still VERY fresh, less than a week...

But this is the second BU, the first time, he said he was unsure about how he was feeling and he didn't think he could see a future with me (even though we are both just 16). Then a week after the first BU, he said he missed me and wanted me back, and of course I said okay... But three weeks later, he broke up with me again. He said things were just too uncomfortable with him.

I think it was my problem because I jumped right back into the relationship, wanting everything to start from where we left off, and back to how everything used to be. He was confused and unsure about everything he was feeling and what he was doing, and I think I pressured him too much and made him uncomfortable and made him leave me again.

Well, now I know, the basic consensus is that I need to try my best to move on. If there are chances of reconciliation, which I hope for, we both have to grow and change and fix. The relationship can't be the same as before, and I need to be patient and ease into it.

For now, I know I need to move on best I can and don't expect a reconciliation because that will hinder me. If I move on, then I'll be happy, whether it be single, with a new man, or back with him. Moving on with my life is the first step I can take. I know all this, but now I have to believe it. 'Cause what I want more than anything right now is to be back with him...of course.

[kate1985]

Do you guys think reconciliations can happen if one person moves to a new state? My ex has accepted a new job position in NY while I live on the west coast. We broke up 3 months ago with LC.

 

I am terrified that he will meet someone new and we will lose all hope of ever reconciling. I am absolutely devastated of the thought that I will never see him again...that thought alone makes me feel sick to my stomach.

 

Does anyone have stories of reconciliations happening even though one has moved away? I feel like my situation is hopeless and I feel absolutely gutted.

 

I know I have to move on...and I will. But I just feel like I have to know that it's possible. It's Christmas Eve and I just feel like crap. I could use some hope...

[faithful14]

okay i have three more stories to add, they are very short and they are all about my best friends' friends....I hope that made sense...lol

 

1. She and her bf were on and off for two years; LD seemed to be the major issue. He broke up with her in april/may and he has been trying to win her back since August. She was really depressed when he left her but she picked up the pieces and moved on. Her ex is still trying to get her back but she has now met a new guy that she is really happy with. So not a successful reconcilation story, but more of the fact that even though he was done with her, his feelings changed with time and he regretted letting her go.

 

2. This other girl has been with her bf also for almost two years and they have had two minor breakups before. I didn't really ask why as it wasn't my business. They are also back together.

 

3. Is one of my friends from high school. Her and her boyfriend have been going out for almost a year but for some reason they seem to break up a lot and then get back together a few days later. Their most recent breakup was for the last 2-3 months and as of today, they are on again.

 

So as you can see, no couple is perfect and even then, people can get back together. I'm not sure if they were in NC or not, but I do believe at least in the beginning they were or that they just had periods of NC and then LC.

 

If I hear more stories this week, I'll post them up.

[nanana]

I know a guy who broke up with his first love in his early twenties. They were together a couple of years, but arguments kicked in. About 7 years later they met up and started dating again, got engaged last Christmas, and will be married in a few months!

 

I know another couple that just recently got engaged, they broke up twice, one for about 2 months, the other time for 6 months.

 

Another couple were together for 5 years but were arguing so much at the end. They didn't speak for 2 years, then the guy got in touch with the girl, and they've now been dating again for a year.

 

My parents separated for about 18 months before getting back together... he left for another woman.

 

My brother dumped a girl after 4 years together, claimed he wanted to be single, dated others girls, was really cold and nasty to his ex, while she was desperate to get him back, After about 18 months he realised what he'd done and how much he missed her. She wouldn't take him back by that point though... so not really a proper success story.

 

I'm sure I've got loads of others... I've seen it happen a lot. In fact I've even had it happen to me, but when it happened to me, I never needed to come on here anymore because my pain was over, so I never posted my 'success story'. I think that's the problem, once you're back together, a lot of people don't go to enotalone again.

[harsh284]

Thanks really interesting and inspiring - gives me some hope

[andama08]

I have a friend who dated a guy for 6 months during her senior year of high school. They broke up because they were on different roads in life, he did more partying she didn't. In the next 8 months she dated another guy for 5 months, he broke up with her and guess who calls...her ex from high school. She knows she could easily get him back but doesn't want to at this point, so not really a success but he came back.

 

Also my sister broke up with a guy during her sophomore year in high school then her senior year (not sure why she ended it) they were back together, it didn't last (she went off to college he stayed home) but they did reconcile for a time.

[andama08]

One of my sisters friends dated a guy in high school for 3 years or so. During the summer of her senior year she broke up with him for ~5 months or so because he was her first love and she wanted to see what else was out there. She found out what she really was looking for in a guy was him and so she came back to him and they have been together ever since.

[paradiselost]

I know of a couple who dated for 10 years and then split up. The girl called it off. In the mean time she dated an Italian she met in Brussels, he followed her to her home country. She then gets a posting to Italy and they go there. Turns out the guy is a bum and abusive and she throws him out.

 

The guy in the mean time moves on and gets a new girl friend but in his heart always wants his ex.

 

2 years after the break she is visiting home for the holidays from Italy. She bumps into her ex one evening, they are both tipsy and she realises she likes him and tells him. He dumps his girlfriend straigth away and 5 days later is in Italy with her.

 

1.5 years later they got married.

 

Now married for 2 years planning a family!

[faithful14]

okay heard one more today from my cousin and this is about her best friend (sarah) and her boyfriend (mike),my favorite couple in the world....their story happened two years ago...

 

So Sarah and Mike met about four years back through mutual friends. They had a good relationship, loved each other, but like many couples- they had their ups and downs. Towards the end of their relationship, they started arguing a lot, to the point that it was happening everyday. Mike started taking her for granted, never made time for her, and just ran away from their arguments. The more he ignored her, the angrier she got. He basically couldn't take it anymore so he broke up with her. It was very hard for them both and there were times when Mike would IM me at night and tell me how hard this is for him and that he really wants to be back with Sarah but not when they couldn't get along. I told him it will be alright and to why not try again in a few months once the dust has settled.

 

Well they stayed in contact for a while but it seemed that there was a lot of hurt and anger on Sarah's side. She was constantly upset and telling him off. Mike saw that it would be a bad idea to get back with Sarah because even broken up they can't get along. So they both did try and move on by dating others but those relationships never got serious.

 

Almost a year goes by since they have broken up....

 

One night while out with the guys, Mike bumps into this girl that he had liked a long time ago and he decided to see if he could start something new with this girl. When Sarah found out, she got really upset and was crying. She admitted the reason that she was mean to him was because she still had feelings and wanted to be with him. Well, Mike and Sarah met up a few nights later at a mutual friends' house and started talking. They both realized their feelings were still there, stronger than ever. It took about a month of talking things out, but they got back together and mike let go of the new girl.

 

They are still together to this day, happier than ever, and they hardly ever argue with each other anymore.

 

This has always been one of my favorite stories; mostly because they both grew up and learned a lot while apart from one another.

[serendipity28]

thank you faithful14 for keeping posting sucessful stories it always cheers me up

 

Stay strong,

[faithful14]

No problem; they cheer me up too : )

[kate1985]

I have one...

 

It's about my mom's best friend. Let's call her Jane. Anyways...Jane had been dating this guy (we'll call him Jake) for almost 5 years. I'm a little unclear on what happened, but they eventually broke up and Jake moved out of the country. Jane ended up meeting a new man who she later went on to marry. Jake also met and married someone else. Well fast forward 10 years later...Jane's husband passed away, and Jake was in the process of divorcing his wife. I'm not sure what happened, but the two eventually got in touch, started dating, and married a few years later. Sadly, Jake passed away last year...but from what I know, they had a blissfully happy 12 years of marriage.

 

And I have another one, although it's not really reconciliation but more of a karma/regret story. When my aunt was in her early 20's, she was involved with a man for several years. They were even engaged to be married...then out of nowhere, the guy broke off their engagement to run off and marry some other woman. From what I heard, my aunt went into a deep depression and even considered going into a mental institution because she was sooo deeply affected. Well...this happened about 15-20 years ago. According to my mom, who recently spoke to the guy...he is still in love with my aunt. He's still married to that same woman, but he says it is an unhappy marriage. So...not really reconciliation, but at least the guy got his karma! He broke my aunt's heart to pieces and all he got for it was a sad and lonely marriage.