renaissancewoman101 Posted March 20, 2009 Author Share Posted March 20, 2009 Penelope13, I have a crush on this guy. I do seriously like him and would like to date him. Just not sure if it is worth the risk of our friendship, mutual friendships, and hobbies. Please don't think I am not serious about this issue. I like the guy a lot but fear holds me back a lot too. I tend to be the fearful one. Grymoire and a few others make me doubt what to do. But I know what to do, so when the time is ripe I will act. Link to comment
penelope13 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Then just go for it and face your fear. Link to comment
grymoire Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Grymoire and a few others make me doubt what to do. How exactly? I made it very clear what you need to do, and that is ASK HIM OUT. If he turns you down I explained what you and he need to do in order to preserve the friendship. It was not meant to scare you or discourage you from asking him out. Think about it honestly - you crush on a guy for months, then pick up the courage and ask him out, he turns you down.. now what? Will both of you be like "oh ok.. no problem.. let's fence"??? NO. It won't be like that at all. Both of you would feel the awkwardness. Both of you would need the space. If you want to preserve the friendship then it only makes sense to stay away from each other for some time so that once the feelings die down you both can continue the friendship. That's what I meant. Penelope13, I have a crush on this guy. I do seriously like him and would like to date him. Just not sure if it is worth the risk of our friendship, mutual friendships, and hobbies. Please don't think I am not serious about this issue. I like the guy a lot but fear holds me back a lot too. Read what you have written here. Especially the bolded part. You want to date him? Then ask him out. Period. When should you ask him out? As soon as possible. Not when the time is ripe or when it is lunar eclipse or when they find Lochness monster. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 what would you want more? to date him or be his buddy never knowing if he's interested non-stop posting asking what we think because you want to know? Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted March 20, 2009 Author Share Posted March 20, 2009 what would you want more? to date him or be his buddy never knowing if he's interested non-stop posting asking what we think because you want to know? I want to ask him out and see if we can date. But I worry about risking the friendship and all the things surrounding that (mutual friends and our hobbies). Right now, plan is to try and ask him on Sunday, if the time is right. I am going to be SOOOOO nervous though Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I want to ask him out and see if we can date. But I worry about risking the friendship and all the things surrounding that (mutual friends and our hobbies). Right now, plan is to try and ask him on Sunday, if the time is right. I am going to be SOOOOO nervous though it's a chance we all take. yes, all of us. Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I want to ask him out and see if we can date. But I worry about risking the friendship and all the things surrounding that (mutual friends and our hobbies). Right now, plan is to try and ask him on Sunday, if the time is right. I am going to be SOOOOO nervous though well at the moment anyways he knows you like him already. so there isn't a big difference to be made if you ask him out. he'll just say yes or no and if he does say no? it's not the end of the world. you guys will just carry on being friends. Link to comment
EQD Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 i'm estimating something like a 2% chance he will say no. And if it is a 'no' it will probably be due to a scheduling conflict. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted March 20, 2009 Author Share Posted March 20, 2009 As I said, I will give it a try this Sunday. Tonight is WoW night. I will try to sign on to play tonight if I am not too tired. Hopefully, he'll be around. Then I will try and gauge to see if he is still "friendly" with me or not. I need to cover bases before I take the "leap of faith". Link to comment
grymoire Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I want to ask him out and see if we can date. But I worry about risking the friendship and all the things surrounding that (mutual friends and our hobbies). Right now, plan is to try and ask him on Sunday, if the time is right. I am going to be SOOOOO nervous though right now your focus should just be on asking him out Ren. not about the things that can happen after that. a tight rope walker only needs to focus on walking the rope not worrying about what to do if he falls down. if he focuses on that he won't get on the rope in the first place. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted March 20, 2009 Author Share Posted March 20, 2009 I said I was going to ask him out on Sunday after practice, if conditions are ripe for it. I'm not just going to ASK him out of the blue. I hope he shows up to practice on Sunday. I may ask the mutual friend for advice (considering he knows I like him). But that is iffy. I probably just need to get the guts to do it on my own. Link to comment
grymoire Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I said I was going to ask him out on Sunday after practice, if conditions are ripe for it. I'm not just going to ASK him out of the blue. I hope he shows up to practice on Sunday. I may ask the mutual friend for advice (considering he knows I like him). But that is iffy. I probably just need to get the guts to do it on my own. The fact that P already knows how you feel about him is a very good thing Ren. Please don't be consumed by your shyness and fear and pass up this opportunity. Link to comment
penelope13 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I may ask the mutual friend for advice (considering he knows I like him). But that is iffy. I probably just need to get the guts to do it on my own. I wouldn't recommend to ask your mutual friend (what are you hoping for from this, that he gives you an up front 'guarantee that P is going to say yes'?) - it puts your friend right into the middle, that's not fair to him. Link to comment
grymoire Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I wouldn't recommend to ask your mutual friend (what are you hoping for from this, that he gives you an up front 'guarantee that P is going to say yes'?) - it puts your friend right into the middle, that's not fair to him. yea.. seriously... how much assurance do you need? you want ask everyone but P Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted March 20, 2009 Author Share Posted March 20, 2009 well at the moment anyways he knows you like him already. so there isn't a big difference to be made if you ask him out. he'll just say yes or no and if he does say no? it's not the end of the world. you guys will just carry on being friends. I really hope this is true. Wish me luck on Sunday, but then watch him not show up to practice. Ugh! I may go over to the mutual friend's house tonight (earlier this week I had said I may stop over tonight). If P is there, I may make a move tonight, but time has to be right. Although it may NOT be a good idea either since people will be around. Link to comment
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