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Wait for sex until relationship is serious?


marthamydear
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I haven't had a serious boyfriend in nearly five years, but I've casually dated several guys and slept with a few of them. I feel let down when these relationships don't develop into something more, and then I think I'm giving it away too easily. I'm pondering a new rule for myself: not having sex with anyone before we're in a committed relationship. However, I'm afraid that I won't find anyone and I'll have to go without sex for years.

 

How many of you ladies only have sex in a serious relationship? Have you had lots of dry spells? Guys, would you wait for a girl who refuses to have sex until you're serious?

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I haven't had a serious boyfriend in nearly five years, but I've casually dated several guys and slept with a few of them. I feel let down when these relationships don't develop into something more, and then I think I'm giving it away too easily. I'm pondering a new rule for myself: not having sex with anyone before we're in a committed relationship. However, I'm afraid that I won't find anyone and I'll have to go without sex for years.

 

How many of you ladies only have sex in a serious relationship? Have you had lots of dry spells? Guys, would you wait for a girl who refuses to have sex until you're serious?

 

I wait until I feel like he's serious about me and won't let me down. I was with my ex for 2.5 yrs and NEVER had sex with him just because I had a feeling he wasn't genuine with me at all times and I didn't want to regret giving up my virginity to someone like that. My current boyfriend I slept with about a month into our relationship, I don't regret it because a month with him provided me with more security than 2 yrs with my ex. I don't go through dry spells, I can do without sex it's not something I have to have.

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I'm not a female, but I'm chipping in my 2 cents. It depends on how you define the term sex. If you're referring to orgasm then the cool thing about that is you don't need anyone for that, it can be taken care of solo. If you're referring to physical closeness, then you can get that from just being affectionate with whomever you may be seeing so by balancing the two you get all of your needs met. It's the best of both worlds. Then in time, when you're sure the guy you're with is "the one", you can take the plunge and feel confident about it being the right choice.

 

EDIT: As to whether or not I would wait for a girl, if she seemed really special then yes, I would. Generally speaking, no, I won't wait for more than what I think is a reasonable amount of time.

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I'm only comfortable having sex once I'm in a relationship. I'll do other stuff before we get to that point, but no sex until there's commitment of some sort. If a guy can't wait that long, then he's not the right one for me. And yes I've gone through a dry spell (in one right now!) and I don't care. I'd rather be comfortable with my actions.

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I did read about a certain chemical released in women during sex that has the effect of bonding them to their partner..men either don't release it or it's in very small amounts I think.

The amount varies from woman to woman, but having sex with someone tends to make females feel more attatched..so I think waiting to have sex generally results in less hurt if the relationship ends than if you were sleeping with the person.

 

I think if you want to enjoy the sex for it's own sake and can accept that it may not lead to anything serious then you may as well have it, although there's the whole std thing..but anyway, it depends on your own values..it can be really sensible to wait, however I am really missing sex at the moment and I would be inclined to indulge myself if I could, lol.

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If a guy has no patience for a woman who wants to wait until she is in a committed relationship before having sex then he is not worth it. A guy should not just expect sex just because he went out on a few dates with a woman...it is okay for people to wait until they decide to be officially a couple before having sex. It is not so terrible going without sex for years...it hasn't killed anyone.

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