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Really down on a decision that I made.


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Well, my girlfriend (now my ex) and I have been broken up for a good 4 or so months. I think that it was done for the best of our interests but I can't get past the fact that I made a decision that I will never be able to undo. Prior to her, I had done nothing with girls, not even kissed. Well, my ex-girlfriend broke that by kissing me a few weeks into our relationship. That's fine but what we did after is what bothers me. I lost my virginity to this girl and now that things didn't work out, I'm really bummed out about it.

 

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to date this girl again. I didn't even think about this whole ordeal until just yesterday after I flipped through some pictures saved on my computer. Has anyone ever felt like this and what have you done to cope with it? I really got a bad night's rest because I couldn't stop thinking about making this mistake (which I will not make with another girl in the future). To sum it up, I feel hopeless and stupid

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You are not hopeless and stupid. You cannot undo the past, so there is no sense in beating yourself up over it.

 

Things didn't work out with the guy I lost my virginity too either and ya know, I'm glad it didn't.

 

Try not to beat yourself up too much. You are only human and things could be worse.

 

Cheer up

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If you cared about your girlfriend at the time you lost your virginity to her then it was done with honourable intentions...out of how you felt for her at the time. You can't change the past...the best thing you can do is accept it and move forward and don't look at it in a negative light.

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Don't worry about it too much.

I lost my virginity to someone that I'm no longer seeing but I don't look back and regret it. Most people don't end up with their first, as far as I know.

 

Also, whether the woman you love and marry is your first or your fifteeth, it will not make that first time with her any less special than with the girl you are no longer with. Infact, it will be even better!

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I think people over-romanticize the whole "losing your virginity" thing. That isn't to say that it should be given away to the first person who will take it, but it's not a life-changing thing. I lost my virginity to my first real boyfriend and, while I regretted having sex with him, I let it go. I was more angry about all the rotten things he did to me... I honestly don't believe there's anything special about virginity; to me, it's an antiquated idea. And for a guy, it's even less of a momentous event. What's important is that you see the whole thing as a learning experience. The first time having sex is always the worst anyway! Things can only get better =) Don't think about it too much. And as long as you didn't get a disease, you'll be just fine.

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The person I lost my virginity to.. I never want to see again! Hindsight is 20/20. If I knew then what I know now, I might have made a different choice. Or, I might have done it just the same. It was a good learning experience (not just the sex, the whole relationship)

 

The point is, you can never know for sure that it is going to last forever with anyone. You made a decision based on the information you had at the time. It will be ok, you can still sleep with other people later.

 

Then again, I'm the type of person that sees "viginity is a gift" as just silly. Other people think it's a big thing... I really don't. My first kiss, my first car, my first alcoholic drink, my first apartment, my first full-time job... they were all big firsts but I'm not going to fret over if they were all perfect. Just a part of life.

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All of your points are very true. I don't really value and make this big thing about having one's virginity but its just something that I regret doing. Sure I didn't know that things weren't going to work out at the time but I just feel disappointed in myself that I couldn't hold out until later.

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All of your points are very true. I don't really value and make this big thing about having one's virginity but its just something that I regret doing. Sure I didn't know that things weren't going to work out at the time but I just feel disappointed in myself that I couldn't hold out until later.

 

sorry about my comment above yesterday.

I apologize, and it was kinda harsh and childish of me the way I worded things.

 

I am going through some things in my life as well, and I guess sometimes I just feel like other people cant be feeling any more worse or issues as bad as mine.

 

I do think that in time you will see that what has happened was just a learning experience, and in time you will realize that what your feeling right now will soon pass.

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