RyanD333 Posted January 16, 2009 Author Share Posted January 16, 2009 I got a 50" Panasonic plasma but I didn't shell out the dough for a 1080p. It's a 720p..when I bought it I compared it side by side with the 1080s and didn't see a big difference.. But I don't want to derail your thread so let me just say this. You are obviously a man of discerning taste who knows he wants and deserves the best. She aint never gonna do it for you. It's time to cut your loses and move on. More Blu-ray titles come out everyday. Yes they do. Ah, if only I could warp my stuff back to my old place, and not have to do all this. (sigh) Link to comment
striker_dude Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Yes they do. Ah, if only I could warp my stuff back to my old place, and not have to do all this. (sigh) It's a day or two with a moving truck, some aggravation and stress getting relocated, and then you got your life back again and you are free to look for a woman who will show you more affection. And you learned a hard lesson. Next time do NOT mount the TV to the wall until you're sure you'll be there a while. Link to comment
RyanD333 Posted January 16, 2009 Author Share Posted January 16, 2009 Also, when I do leave her.... Do I mention I feel this was a mistake moving in? Should I use that word at all? Or just avoid that issue and say I'm not happy, etc. Link to comment
DN Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Just say the relationship isn't working for you. Link to comment
striker_dude Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Also, when I do leave her.... Do I mention I feel this was a mistake moving in? Should I use that word at all? Or just avoid that issue and say I'm not happy, etc. Probably the less words the better..because she isn't going to let you go easily, and anything you say, can and will be used against you in a court of womanhood. Its not working, you realize you acted impulsively, you prefer it the way it was before, maybe it's not necessarily over, but you need your space to think it through. OR..the Plasma fit better in your other place. She'll understand. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Just a thought but maybe she insisted on you moving in because she knew it would make it harder for you to leave her. Link to comment
RyanD333 Posted January 16, 2009 Author Share Posted January 16, 2009 Just a thought but maybe she insisted on you moving in because she knew it would make it harder for you to leave her. She's the one who came up with the idea. I think she values my financial help, my physical help, and my stability, more than she values me as a person =( Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Well I have read the entire thread and I can understand why you can't live this way. It's just not right. Have you thought anymore about what you are going to do? Link to comment
RyanD333 Posted January 16, 2009 Author Share Posted January 16, 2009 Well I have read the entire thread and I can understand why you can't live this way. It's just not right. Have you thought anymore about what you are going to do? I'm 90% sure it's over. I'm just unsure of how to do it. I'd hate to move out this weekend, when she's home, that would be so weird--her watching my every move. I just need to summon the strength to end it, and then move on without looking back. She's obviously not willing to give anything to "us." Link to comment
hiphop3 Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 why not tell her in the evening and have a sit down talk. at night sleep on the couch and when she goes to work the next day start to pack and move. if she comes home early it's not like you'll be a deer caught in head lights. you could also discuss maybe her giving you time to leave, maybe going to a friends house after work or something. Link to comment
chocolates Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 What do you imagine her reaction will be? is it going to be cold ? Link to comment
whes Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I'm 90% sure it's over. I'm just unsure of how to do it. I'd hate to move out this weekend, when she's home, that would be so weird--her watching my every move. I just need to summon the strength to end it, and then move on without looking back. She's obviously not willing to give anything to "us." Well, whether she watches or not, the minute you get out of there you are going to have a feeling of profound relief. It'll never be a good time. You just have to make the decision to do it. It's really hard being in a relationship when someone is totally uninterested in even touching you. Not being in love with you is one thing, but saying that she loves you and yet being somehow physically repulsed by you is really really demeaning. I'd get out of it as soon as I possibly could. Link to comment
blue69 Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Sounds like you really aren't interested in making the relationship work. You want support in your decision to leave, not really advice on how to make it work. That is cool. Both people have to be trully committed to making a relationship work. Sounds like you are tired of trying and you don't see her making significant efforts. I personally think you simply need to explain what you are going to do. No need to run away like a coward. If you are that afraid of the conversation to end things, I do wonder how all the conversations about wanting/needing intimacy really went. Meaning you tried the same conversation each time and got the same results. Did you ever consider that maybe the message wasn't being delivered in the best of way? Did you ever really evaluate how you brought up these things. Regardless, sounds like you want support telling you to leave. OK leave. Dont forget anything and good luck on your next relationship. Good luck. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Well communication is a two way street. If someone is not open to the conversation you can communicate it all day long with no results. her communication skills are not present or she just doesn't care. If he knows he is ready to end this there is no reason not to just leave without a long drawn out explanation. He can tell her "this isn't working out". She has been told on several occasions what he was looking for... Link to comment
blue69 Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I agree that he he should keep the conversation very simple. I guess I just dont like the idea of simply bailing out without saying a word. Seems like a very immature response in an adult relationship. I was responding to that part of the entire suggestions and his discussion. Leaving / moving out when she left for work. She maybe a challenge but if he claims he loved her he can at least show the maturity and respect at the end of the relationship. Just my 2cents tho. Certainly understand his desire to want to end the relationship or in the very least move back out. Link to comment
RyanD333 Posted January 16, 2009 Author Share Posted January 16, 2009 I agree that he he should keep the conversation very simple. I guess I just dont like the idea of simply bailing out without saying a word. Seems like a very immature response in an adult relationship. I was responding to that part of the entire suggestions and his discussion. Leaving / moving out when she left for work. She maybe a challenge but if he claims he loved her he can at least show the maturity and respect at the end of the relationship. Just my 2cents tho. Certainly understand his desire to want to end the relationship or in the very least move back out. I'm not going to move out without first talking with her. And trust me, I've tried to talk about the issue from every angle possible. I've tried to be understanding, I've tried to be patient, yet she never makes ANY effort. Honestly, she says she will try and never does. I require more affection than this. It's just in my DNA. Link to comment
DN Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Well, the weekend is coming up and if you are going to do this - now is the time. Are you ready to do it? Link to comment
RyanD333 Posted January 16, 2009 Author Share Posted January 16, 2009 Well, the weekend is coming up and if you are going to do this - now is the time. Are you ready to do it? I'm going to sit her down and talk to her when she gets off work. I just need to decide whether it's a break up, or a talk. Talking never goes anywhere. I need to just end it. /sigh. My stomach is turning thinking about it. Link to comment
DN Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Just a talk is a) copping out and b) postponing the inevitable and the prolonging the pain. You really need to decide if you want to end this or not. You said you have already talked this out countless times to no avail. I know it is hard and 'talking' seems easier - but in the end it just makes things harder. Link to comment
RyanD333 Posted January 16, 2009 Author Share Posted January 16, 2009 Just a talk is a) copping out and b) postponing the inevitable and the prolonging the pain. You really need to decide if you want to end this or not. You said you have already talked this out countless times to no avail. I know it is hard and 'talking' seems easier - but in the end it just makes things harder. I agree, and if she KNOWS I'm breaking up with her and leaving her, she may finally decide to truly work on it/seek counseling/try and figure out why she is the way she is. Ultimately, she thinks she has me at her fingertips. Breaking up with her is the ONLY way she will ever take this issue seriously or stop to think about how she acts. Link to comment
blue69 Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 First step is moving out. Maybe just focus on that at this point. Next step is deciding if the relationship can be salvaged (it sounds like that is unlikely). Either way.. move out - break up. You will dread the conversation. As DN stated, it is probably delaying the inevitable anyways. Good luck though. Link to comment
RyanD333 Posted January 16, 2009 Author Share Posted January 16, 2009 She'll be home in a hour and a half. My stomach is in knots. Link to comment
hiphop3 Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 She'll be home in a hour and a half. My stomach is in knots. breathe!! maybe write down what you are going to say. you don't need to read it out to her, but just make sure you are going to communicate all that needs to be said. Link to comment
RyanD333 Posted January 16, 2009 Author Share Posted January 16, 2009 breathe!! maybe write down what you are going to say. you don't need to read it out to her' date=' but just make sure you are going to communicate all that needs to be said.[/quote'] Eh, I'm trying. I just need to stick to my guns, she's gonna try and turn all this into a argument/back onto me. Link to comment
Ellie2006 Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 My stomach is in knots. Granted, it will NOT be a fun conversation for sure. At the same time, I am not sure why you are this nervous about the conversation; is it because you are unsure about moving out OR are you worried that she will try to change your mind?? Try to remind yourself that your decision to move out, for now, is the right first step to getting your relationship back on track OR moving away from a dysfunctional relationship which does NOT make you happy. Good luck. Link to comment
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