ApplePeace Posted December 4, 2008 Share Posted December 4, 2008 so I spoke to my ex because I needed to move on and I couldnt so I asked him and told him if he met somone else then say so..he wrote back to me saying the reason he ended things was because he is sick and has cancer and at that moment he thought pushing me away will be less painful for me to deal with, I dont know what to think he is sick but he dosent know how to deal with it either.. I was first really angry and said why why why dont you open up to me? he said he was scared to tell me..and didnt know how, he still loves me and I love him, but should I believe him? its a stupid thing to ask but what if he is using that to get back with me or keep me in his life? I do feel bad for him and still in shock but somone just brought that up and said what if he is lying...and my reply was no he isnt lying..but what if he is? Link to comment
waveseer Posted December 4, 2008 Share Posted December 4, 2008 You don't trust him to tell you the truth? Was there any evidence that he wasn't trustworthy in the past? Link to comment
PsychGirly Posted December 4, 2008 Share Posted December 4, 2008 I wouldn't be too sure yet. He could be pulling out the sympathy card--making you forget how you feel, and trying to understand how he feels. I hope it's not true, but you should definitely confirm before moving forward... Link to comment
riley123 Posted December 4, 2008 Share Posted December 4, 2008 You don't trust him to tell you the truth? Was there any evidence that he wasn't trustworthy in the past? I'm wondering the same thing. Does he have a history of lying to you in the past? When he told you he was sick, did he say anything about the relationship? Link to comment
MollyElise Posted December 4, 2008 Share Posted December 4, 2008 reminds me of 'Autmn in New York' I have heard of people saying something like this, but they were all very unstable people who were usually the dumped one trying to guilt the person into staying with them. Why would you think he might be dishonest? Did he play alot of games like this before? Link to comment
ApplePeace Posted December 4, 2008 Author Share Posted December 4, 2008 he has lied in the past when we brokeup he completely gave me a diff story that reason he wanted to end things because he was depressed and he cant feel anything..emotions..and that I need to move on..he also lied once where he said he was going on a business trip and now he said it wasnt and that he had to go to the hospital for a few days..I can ask him if I can speak to the mom but not sure if he wants me too.. Link to comment
MollyElise Posted December 4, 2008 Share Posted December 4, 2008 Well, the lies he's told are all in reference to his cancer. Other than lying to you about having cancer, has he given you any reason in the past to not trust him? Cancer is really scary, people react differently... Link to comment
ApplePeace Posted December 4, 2008 Author Share Posted December 4, 2008 he never wanted me to talk to the mom...not sure why and i dont think ever cheated..not sure how to take it all in. Link to comment
MollyElise Posted December 4, 2008 Share Posted December 4, 2008 Well then I would talk to him and just be honest and sensitive as possible. "I am so shocked by this news and I am really confused, this totally hit me from left field since you had been telling me another story. I can't imagine how scary and stressful this has been for you, but you did lie to me and now even though I love you I am really confused, I find myself questioning if you are telling me the truth... which I hate! So can you please help me deal with all of this and give me something that will convince me that you are telling the truth so that I can move past this stage so that we can figure out how to move forward" Okay... that wasn't the best, but it is decent, we have some great wordsmiths out there who will hopefully be by to help. Link to comment
ApplePeace Posted December 4, 2008 Author Share Posted December 4, 2008 thankyou for the help Link to comment
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