Do you think that gays, some gays, that is, discriminate against straight people also?

[lady00]

yeah, just pointing out a non-pornographic job where talking about anal sex can be appropriate. I went to a conference one time where the keynote speaker gave a talk over dinner on Cholera, and said the term "rice water stool" no less than 8 times in 5 minutes while we were eating and showed us photos. (rice water stool is the kind of diarrhea that people who have cholera get.... it looks just like... well, rice water, and lots of it!) well, being microbiologists, that stuff doesn't gross us out, we can just keep on enjoying our dinner during that, lol.

 

anyway......

 

Oh, I totally saw your point--that some lines of work require pretty graphic sex talk--but the point is to study, learn, and inform, not to titillate, brag, shock, or make people uncomfortable. I was just pointing out that there aren't that any work environments I can think of where talking about the raunchy details of one's own sexual escapades is necessary for the work.

[lady00]

I tried to PM you, but it doesn't let me...

 

Yeah sorry, I disabled PMs on my account.

[JadedStar]

Right. You need to focus on the bolded. Even your posts to me about why are you focusing on the gay aspect still did not clearly tell me why their being gay was relevant.

[lady00]

Right. You need to focus on the bolded. Even your posts to me about why are you focusing on the gay aspect still did not clearly tell me why their being gay was relevant.

 

My guess is it's only relevant if she can actually show that people who are gay are treated one way and straight people are treated another way and that straight people are treated differently (and worse) because they are straight. Even if that is what is going on, actually proving it and having people believe it is hard because it's just too hard to show that there is intent to discriminate and that the discrimination is because people of a certain orientation do not like people of the other orientation, especially because as wrong as it is, people are just unlikely to believe that a majority group is being discriminated against by a historically marginalized and mistreated minority group, even if OP's friend had a ton of proof.

[Pressfit]

You don't always need to hire a lawyer. You can get it done through the Federal Government.

If you feel you are being sexually harassed/discriminated against by someone who is acting as an agent representing a company like a boss or owner, then look here.............. link removed

[chiefoptimizer]

Of course, to a gay person, I'm sure that's all very normal, but to a straight person, it's not only bizarre but really offensive!

Its NOT normal. Why do you assume this? I've been going to coffee-meetings with a dozen other gay men/women for a while now, and NO, FOR GOD'S SAKE NO, ITS NOT NORMAL! The only thing I've heard relating to sex was that condoms and dental dams were available for free at the library. Now you make that out as gross.

 

she was pretty sure the co-worker was gay before she started there.. he's that overt in his sexual preferences....

OH MY GOSH! He should be HIDING! What was he thinking revealing himself? This is offensive!

 

And it's NOT that he's gay that is the problem. She's worked with lots of gay people before. she's not a bigot or anything of that nature!

She's had of friends she's confided in that were gay too.. so there's no predujice over the fact these people are gay.

 

edit: Sure, no prejudice there.

 

The problem is what they are talking about, has no place at work. I told her to try contact a sexual harassment lawyer. She's tried but cannot find anyone to take her case that is not going to charge between $125-$250 for the first consultation.

She's instead decided to contact a state agency, called them, explained the situation and they've definitely told her she's got a legitimate case!

 

So... it's been really rough for her... she's got to go back into work, but has no one to back her yet.. She can tell the agency what is going on, but that's going to let the cat out of the bag!

Meanwhile, she needs this job.. but cannot find anything else... Jobs are scarce in her area....

 

I'm not sure what to advice my friend, but my heart goes out to her!

This, here is the REAL ISSUE. If you want sympathy on this, you have mine. I don't like the idea that someone, anyone, has to put up with this. Really, there must be a way to get them to stop. Maybe she could go to the police? That sounds like a police case to me...

 

I feel really angry right now towards gays in general! I know that sounds 'Prejudiced" to some I suppose, but most straight people know without a shadow of a doubt now, that talking smack about things sexual is a definite NO-NO in a public workplace.

 

It's like these peopel think they can get away with it, just cuz they are gay, which is so offensive and discriminatory towards my straight friend.

 

I feel really angry towards straight people myself. Are they not the ones who conduct wars, preach hate, commit murder, rape and paedophilia?

 

*Note to denser elements: this post contains sarcasm.*

[chiefoptimizer]

Honestly, she needs help, and I would just go to the police if it got this bad...What country are you guys in?

[JadedStar]

My guess is it's only relevant if she can actually show that people who are gay are treated one way and straight people are treated another way and that straight people are treated differently (and worse) because they are straight. Even if that is what is going on, actually proving it and having people believe it is hard because it's just too hard to show that there is intent to discriminate and that the discrimination is because people of a certain orientation do not like people of the other orientation, especially because as wrong as it is, people are just unlikely to believe that a majority group is being discriminated against by a historically marginalized and mistreated minority group, even if OP's friend had a ton of proof.

 

 

But this is not really a discrimination case. It is a case of sexual harassment.

 

I still say crosstown sounds VERY biased against gay people in her posts. If i were an attorney or her HR person taking down this case she would ruin her credibility with some of these giant claims and accusations she makes against gays as a group.

 

If not many of her statements, the one bolded below is one of the most telling:

 

Of course, to a gay person, I'm sure that's all very normal, but to a straight person, it's not only bizarre but really offensive!

 

She could be accused of discrimination against gays as much as these guys might be discrimantory to her friend.

 

But, again, discrimination is not this girl's case. It is sexual harassment that is occurring here and if they decide to pursue the discrimination not only will it be hard to prove but their bias against gays is bound to shine thru like it is on this thread.

[Batya33]

In this economy I would be more focused on whether you're willing to give up a job or give up a promotion or a raise than reporting this kind of behavior. Obviously everyone has a line to draw as to what is tolerable but in this economy, unless someone was physically harassing me or physically threatening me, I wouldn't report it even though in a good economy or in a job where I had tons of leverage I would give serious consideration to reporting the type of harassment you're complaining of (I know you said friend, but I assume it is the OP since I read your other thread on the same topic that was happening to you).

 

I also agree with JS that it seems like you have different standards for people who are homosexual as opposed to straight.

[agent1607307371]

I am puzzled as to why you keep insisting that talking about one's sex life at work is OK and making it seem like it has something to do with having something against homosexual people. I

 

Nowhere have I said that.

 

But reading this thread, I do feel that the OP has different standards of acceptable behaviour in regards to gay or straight people.

[JadedStar]

Nowhere have I said that.

 

But reading this thread, I do feel that the OP has different standards of acceptable behaviour in regards to gay or straight people.

 

While i don't believe the part where it should be ok for people to discuss sexual things on the job i do believe you when you say the OP has differnet standards or expectations of gays and straight people. Her bias against gays is peppered all thru her threads. And it does make me wonder if her claims are as outrageous as she suggests because credibility comes into play when it is a her word against theirs kind of thing, and that is how HR would view this. IF she is continuing to sound as discrimantory against gays as she has in her posts on this thread her credibility will be shot before she even finishes giving her statements aobut their conduct.

 

I know promiscuous gays and very decent upstanding gays. Same with straight people. I would never make smoe of the prejudicial statements about gay people that i have read on this thread. She has made more than one suggestion that gays are deviant people who can't control their sexual impulses. That is so very wrong.

[crosstownTraffic]

Look, stop making my friend ought to be the one in the black hat Jaded. You always start flaming me on my threads.

 

Stop making assumptions Jaded and false allegations about my friend which simply are NOT true!

Why is it always your mission on here to intimidate the OP from speaking what they want to say, Jaded? Like you think you can take over their thread, simply cuz they don't share the same mindset as you. That's not respectful or in line with the TOS on this forum.

My friend's had best friends who are gay. She's known and been friendly to gay people since college, also in the workplace.

You are the one who's coming off as totally biased! If it's NOT okay for straight people to talk sexual innuedos at work, then why are these gay people talking about it, like they are sitting in their living room?

 

Biased.. yeah.. these particular gay people sure seem that way! They have no respect whatsoever, for my straight friend at work, and now they are talking the same smack to the other str8 female worker! They also don't seem to keep their workers very long at this business.. It's all starting to make sense to my friend on why now!

 

My friend, just cannot believe the stuff that's coming out of their mouth! Yeah, maybe the police SHUD hear about this case.. she told me the boss himself made some lewd comments about some young cops walking past their business! I wonder what the cops would think of what they said..... Probably nothing good, I assure you.....

 

Yes Pressfit.. that agency you mentioned is good at helping people in crisis in employment situations.

I just showed this whole thread to my friend and she's started crying, so this is helping NOT!

Par for the course, on this website, though..... whatever...

[JadedStar]

i am not sure why you are only talking about my statements. Remember this is only my opinion. I don't know your friend, perhaps she is not as biased. I say this so that you realize that if you don't change that stance or if your friend has that stance it will ruin her case.

 

I have given you some pretty sound advice for your friend. I strongly suggest you tell her to not focus on the gay aspect or she will not be taken seriously. I have taken on many a case of sexual harassment so my advice does have some back to it...i know how HR people think in many cases and they will not take anything seriously if the prejudice against gays comes out really strongly. In a case like this it comes down to nothing but which person is more credible. it is a her word against theirs situation. In these cases the person making the decision really only has the credibility of each person to make their decision.

 

You can take that info to haert, or not, but my view on this is not changed. And believe it or not i hope it works out for your friend.

[JadedStar]

It would also be more helpful for your friend if she could post so that we could find out in her words the exact situation and advise accordingly. It never works as well in translation.

[crosstownTraffic]

well... There's no way my friend's gonna post now.. she's read all the nasty comments about her, concerning the fact that it's HER that is discriminating against these people!

 

Besides, ANYONE can read these post. I have to consider her safety as well. After all, despite the fact they are gay, they are STILL men.. and she's a lady.

 

In reference to all the rude posts directed here towards my friend, it's obvious, despite the facts and the fact I've printed over & over she's not biased against gays (if she was, why would she take a job with THEM???) that's just a stupid assumption.

 

I don't know what the heck it is about this board, why people read facts, and then interpret it to their own assumptions! Well, the fact that they are talking sexual innuendos at all is bad enough, but you must realize that even if you are not prejudiced against gay people, if you are straight person, you still do NOT want to hear about their sexual antics... It's very off-putting...

No more so, than I'm sure a gay person would want to see a film on two heterosexual people making love!

Gosh, talking to some of you people is like talkign to a brick wall!

 

I'm not going to show anything more of this thread to my friend, she's on shaky ground enough.

 

You sure are not helping her.. attacking her, just cuz she doesn't want to hear a bunch of gay guys making passes or lewd remarks about people walking by their businesses and other gross stuff.

 

Like i say, it obviously doesn't matter WHAT I say here, the stuff they are saying is so overt and offensive, I'd be banned for merely printing it out here... but keep on bashing my friend and calling "her" prejudice!

no wonder women hardly ever report rapes or things like that.. People just love to intimidate women to keep silent, don't they?

[melrich]

This thread has run its course.