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Do you think that gays, some gays, that is, discriminate against straight people also?


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Reason I ask is this.

My friend works at a place where the majority of people are gay. She knows this by the fact they are always taking about their same sex SO and other overt things.

 

She herself is str8, and has had many gay friends in the past, but she feels like they are definitely starting to discriminate against her.

 

They proclude her from idle chit chat.. they get all the great hours, she gets the lousy ones. they take long lunch breaks together, she's allowed a few minutes to grab a sandwhich and that's about it. In short she's not really appreciated at all at her job, even though she's doing well or the company itself!

 

They also talk about really obscene sexual things right in her presense... She's not sure if that's just how they are, or they are trying to make her feel comfortable or not?

 

She's also said the last girl, also str8, just up and quit a few months back out of the blue..

 

What is the deal with this anyway?

 

I have seen gay ppl say this, "I know it shouldn't, as we are a modern society, which should accept people as they are - unconditionally."

But, also very hypocritical they would be so rude to her, as she's str8. She never says anything derogatory either about them being gay.

 

It sure seems odd, b/c if you are a str8 person where's tons of laws against discriminating against anyone, but even more so, saying anything of a sexual obscene nature at the workplace!

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Every subculture has their bias against others they don't like; so don't be surprised about their actions. Heck, I have a bias against people that can't spell "straight" and I'm still responding to this post. One thing I will add is that your friend has an excellent sexual harassment claim towards her employer if she wants to put her foot down.

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I tihnk the reasons it happens are probably different. I think many people in the gay community can get hardened up to the constant criticism they face and might unwittingly do the same thing even to people who are not judgemental. I think there discrimination is mostly a reaction to the discriminatino they have faced. (not that this makes it right)

 

But still yet in my life i have known many gays and lesbians and none of them thus far have discriminated against straight people.

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I have heard from friends and family who've experienced this type of discrimination. I understand some of the reasons why it might happen because I'm part of a minority group that is often discriminated against and so I can see how it would be tempting to react this way. Still, I don't do it because I know it is wrong. There is simply no excuse for it.

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let's not toss around the term sexual harassment lightly. maybe the others get the better hours because they have seniority?

 

plus, where does this person work? talking about sex all the time might be ok if you are working at a sex-based type magazine, or planned parenthood, but not if you work at a lawyer's office or a paper company.

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let's not toss around the term sexual harassment lightly. maybe the others get the better hours because they have seniority?

 

plus, where does this person work? talking about sex all the time might be ok if you are working at a sex-based type magazine, or planned parenthood, but not if you work at a lawyer's office or a paper company.

 

I agree. I don't see that as sexual harassment unless they target her and she has said that it makes her uncomfortable in a stern way previously.

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I've seen that behaviour as well. Hetero, Homo, and Bi sexuals are capable of being bigots and judgmental.

 

Bigotry, not just for straight people anymore.

 

Absolutely. Contrary to what society would have you believe, bigotry is not reserved to the majorities.

 

But hey, just be glad you're not a decently well-off straight, white, Christian male like me. I'm screwed no matter what I do.

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They also talk about really obscene sexual things right in her presense.

 

This is textbook sexual harassment. Talking about sexual things in front of a person when it makes them uncomfortable in the workplace is sexual harassment. At least that is what I've been taught in the orientation for most of the jobs I've had.

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Only if she has told them it makes her uncomfortable.

 

And if they are talking TOO her. She can't call it sexual harassment when she overheard a conversation.

 

She sure can. At my most recent job they said do not discuss such things in a public place. You never know who may be around to hear it and how they might feel about it. Why would a company warn about this if it's only harassment when something is being said directly to someone? Law suits have been filed over people overhearing such things (successful ones--yes, we were given specific examples...things that seemed even innocent to the person doing them were overheard/seen by someone not intended to hear or see them and successful suits were filed).

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They proclude her from idle chit chat.. they get all the great hours, she gets the lousy ones. they take long lunch breaks together, she's allowed a few minutes to grab a sandwhich and that's about it. In short she's not really appreciated at all at her job, even though she's doing well or the company itself!

 

or maybe they just don't like her, that's why they're excluding her from their chit-chats?

 

this person can tell the boss that the topics of conversation bother her, and she prefers that people keep the conversations rated PG-13, not rated X. but i don't really see how she can insist they treat her as their little buddy-buddy. afterall, you are there to work!

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let's not toss around the term sexual harassment lightly. maybe the others get the better hours because they have seniority?

 

plus, where does this person work? talking about sex all the time might be ok if you are working at a sex-based type magazine, or planned parenthood, but not if you work at a lawyer's office or a paper company.

 

Annie, the sexual harassment is NOT being tossed around lightly. If they are subjecting this person to listening to stories of sexual escapades that IS sexual harassment. Plain and simple. I don't believe in downplaying something like this. The harassment is not about them getting better hours it is about their convos in the workplace. That IS harassment.

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Annie, the sexual harassment is NOT being tossed around lightly. If they are subjecting this person to listening to stories of sexual escapades that IS sexual harassment. Plain and simple. I don't believe in downplaying something like this. The harassment is not about them getting better hours it is about their convos in the workplace. That IS harassment.

 

i guess it depends on where you work. if you work at a sex shop, on a porn set, i don't know where..... there's a different standard than if you are working at a lawyer's office.

 

i guess it depends on where the OP works.

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She sure can. At my most recent job they said do not discuss such things in a public place. You never know who may be around to hear it and how they might feel about it. Why would a company warn about this if it's only harassment when something is being said directly to someone? Law suits have been filed over people overhearing such things (successful ones--yes, we were given specific examples...things that seemed even innocent to the person doing them were overheard/seen by someone not intended to hear or see them and successful suits were filed).

 

 

You darn right she can. I am in HR and you absolutely CAN get into a lot of trouble having those convos in the workplace. You do not go to work and talk of your sexual escapades on the job. People have been fired for this sort of thing.

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i guess it depends on where you work. if you work at a sex shop, on a porn set, i don't know where..... there's a different standard than if you are working at a lawyer's office.

 

i guess it depends on where the OP works.

 

Unless you work in a porn shop or movie set making porn vids yes, it IS sexual harassment. This is a universal law. Works for 7-11 employees or in a law firm. A call center, or a book store. Etc

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Also, on the discrimination issue: if one person is different from the others and consistently gets treated differently, they likely have a very good argument that they are being discriminated against. If they can show a pattern of behavior that singles them out, they have a strong basis to say that it's because they are different and if that difference is gender or race, they have an argument. If that different is sexual orientation, I'm not so sure--it depends on the laws, but I'm not particularly optimistic that many places embrace rules forbidding discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. I hope they do, but I guess it depends on how progressive the particular state/country is.

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I haven't read all the responses to this thread... But I definitely think some gay people are bigoted toward straight people.

I know a gay guy who blames everything bad that ever happens to him on straight people who are out to get him. "Oh, I didn't get a raise at work when some other people did... It's because they are straight and I am not." etc.

 

But he also makes statements about how straight people just aren't as enlightened as gay people. Straight people aren't secure in their masculinity/femininity, etc.

 

I don't really understand his mentallity.

 

As for your friend at work... Maybe she should bring this problem to someone's attention, if she hasn't already.

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