annie24 Posted November 27, 2008 Share Posted November 27, 2008 Well I guess that makes me different because since I'm not a partying type of Guy my Girl would never see my friends unless we ran into them in public. No matter how long we been together. what if you were getting serious with her, getting married, etc...... surely your fiance or wife would meet your friends, right? Link to comment
ConfusedDater Posted November 27, 2008 Share Posted November 27, 2008 what if you were getting serious with her, getting married, etc...... surely your fiance or wife would meet your friends, right? I guess eventually but not something high on my priority list. But Of course my Family. Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted November 27, 2008 Share Posted November 27, 2008 I don't party either. But I do go out to social events - gigs, shows, festivals, theatre, trips out - with partners, and often friends are there. Sometimes this has been arranged in advance! Sometimes friends have come to my house for a meal, and we've all sat down together, my partner included. They didn't seem to find it weird at all! Link to comment
Batya33 Posted November 27, 2008 Share Posted November 27, 2008 Every guy I have been seriously involved with - and several that I have not- have made it a priority to have me meet their close friends at least - and they were not "partyers". We met when they got together with their friends socially, or he made a plan where I could meet them, whether on a double date or by going to an event together like the theater. Link to comment
ConfusedDater Posted November 27, 2008 Share Posted November 27, 2008 I don't party either. But I do go out to social events - gigs, shows, festivals, theatre, trips out - with partners, and often friends are there. Sometimes this has been arranged in advance! Sometimes friends have come to my house for a meal, and we've all sat down together, my partner included. They didn't seem to find it weird at all! I think what used to make it weird for me was the fact that I was single along with 3 of my other friends and my friend whose house we were over would invite his girl to chill with us and I was always annoyed by it. Nowe if we all had our girlfriends there along with his girl then it would have been a lot different. But Group activities and Events sound fine. Link to comment
LadyLove Posted November 27, 2008 Author Share Posted November 27, 2008 he also called me like at 2:30 am I did not answer..... I wonder what he wanted. But I am going to back off, and see if he comes around.... I do deserve more than what I am getting. I do understand that he wants to take it slow because we got off to a rough start but he keeps saying he wants out and to be friends and see where it goes and countinues to call me as if we were more....so he confuses me and stresses me out!!!! Link to comment
annie24 Posted November 27, 2008 Share Posted November 27, 2008 2:30 AM is a booty call hun. a man who is not your boyfriend should not be calling you at 2:30 AM !!!! Link to comment
lady00 Posted November 27, 2008 Share Posted November 27, 2008 It sounds like you want something more serious than he does. Nothing wrong or bad about either of your points of view. They're just incompatible. I suggest you be crystal clear with him that you want more than he's currently willing to offer and then cut contact. Link to comment
annie24 Posted November 27, 2008 Share Posted November 27, 2008 It sounds like you want something more serious than he does. Nothing wrong or bad about either of your points of view. They're just incompatible. I suggest you be crystal clear with him that you want more than he's currently willing to offer and then cut contact. yes, i agree fully. the situation to me doesn't seem confusing - it seems crystal clear! he wants to see you when it is convient for him, but he doesn't want a relationship with you. at least, not now, but he reserves the option to change his mind in the future. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted November 27, 2008 Share Posted November 27, 2008 He is being deliberately vague so he can have you around at his convenience. This whole thing of moving too fast so now he is cautious..well, a bit late for that. He was a willing participant in moving fast. I would stop contacting him altogether and next time he contacts you I would suggest telling him that you are looking for a serious relationship and it doesn't appear that this one is heading in that direction so you are going to cut it off now. Link to comment
LadyLove Posted November 28, 2008 Author Share Posted November 28, 2008 He never calls me and asks me for a booty call. he has never done that. Should I ask him why he called me at 230am and tell him he had no right to do so that late to put him in place and to show him that he needs to step up or else? Link to comment
lady00 Posted November 28, 2008 Share Posted November 28, 2008 No I don't think you need to ask him about that. I think that is sort of beside the issue. I think you need to tell him that you want different things and maybe you need to move on if he does not change his mind and want something more like what you want out of this. Link to comment
LadyLove Posted November 28, 2008 Author Share Posted November 28, 2008 isn't that like pressuring him? I think I need to go LC with him and see what happens, he stepped up before.... Why am I suck a sucker for him.....my sister thinks he is short, fat and ugly.... I like who he is (he is 32 I am 25) I am still dating others and he knows it and he claims he is not but I find that hard to believe. I am not ready to kick him out of my life..... Link to comment
lady00 Posted November 28, 2008 Share Posted November 28, 2008 isn't that like pressuring him? I think I need to go LC with him and see what happens, he stepped up before.... Why am I suck a sucker for him.....my sister thinks he is short, fat and ugly.... I like who he is (he is 32 I am 25) I am still dating others and he knows it and he claims he is not but I find that hard to believe. I am not ready to kick him out of my life..... I'm not sure what you want from him then. You are still dating others so why are you so concerned with meeting his friends? If things are not getting serious? Also, no, it's not "pressure" to tell someone how you feel and then step away. It's just being honest about what you want. No pressure involved--it's not trying to get him to do anything he does not want to do. Link to comment
LadyLove Posted November 28, 2008 Author Share Posted November 28, 2008 I was only dating others because he was not committing to me. I guess that turned him off a bit because he said to me once, that I don't know what I want and I think he wants to make sure he will not be a convienent bf like he was for his ex. I am truly concerned about he he does nto want me in his life, he tells me things but does not ever really take me around his way, it is a distance but still.... I guess I am hurt. Well I will see what happens this weekend and keep you all updated. Happy Thanksgiving BTW!!! Link to comment
LadyLove Posted November 28, 2008 Author Share Posted November 28, 2008 I spoke to him, he told me he called to apoligize if he was being harsh. I said no problem, you made things very clear, etc. He sounded disappointed in how strong I was and not bowing down to him like I did before. Link to comment
annie24 Posted November 28, 2008 Share Posted November 28, 2008 I'm not sure what you want from him then. You are still dating others so why are you so concerned with meeting his friends? If things are not getting serious? Also, no, it's not "pressure" to tell someone how you feel and then step away. It's just being honest about what you want. No pressure involved--it's not trying to get him to do anything he does not want to do. yeah, i agree, it's not pressuring anyone at all. it's just stating what you are want, and they can take it or leave it. are you going to cut contact with this guy? i am glad you aren't bending! Link to comment
LadyLove Posted November 28, 2008 Author Share Posted November 28, 2008 no I laid it down and told him when he wants to countinue doing his website (i am building a website for him, he is paying me....he wants to send a check in the mail - the a-hole.....actually he wanted to send cash but I said no it could get stolen.....) to give me few days in advance so we can meet up. He made a point to tell me he would like to get it done b4 he goes on vacation for his birthday. I ignored him not asking him anything about it and I was so confident when talking to him about the situation I could hear a little disppointment in his voice. He asked me if I am going to give POF another try..... I said maybe, I don't know I am happy with the way things are going in my life right now and left it at that..... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted December 1, 2008 Share Posted December 1, 2008 so you are done with him? Link to comment
LadyLove Posted December 1, 2008 Author Share Posted December 1, 2008 Yes with this guy, we are still friends but that is it.... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 friends as in you are cool with each other if you run into each other right? not like you will hang out cause you call each other up. right? no reason to really be friends as far as i see. Link to comment
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