Shallow

[ghost69]

i'm seeing this more and more on threads. what is your definition of shallow and give an example?

 

i call it preference. everything is pretty much going to be different to everyone else. it's just like when you pick the black kitten over the orange tabby to take home. what is the big deal?

[Mutley]

Actually, I'm going to be more "shallow".....I still get the same crummy results when I feel I'm compromising....so what the heck.

[waveseer]

Shallow is when I don't care if the other person has character or intelligence and I evaluate them solely on their surface qualities. I can never end up happy if I'm shallow, but it's okay to take the surface qualities into account, that's not shallow.

[Pressfit]

Shallow to me means judging yourself or others on superficial attributes which amount to nothing in the long run. Often well beyond anyones control or choice.

[Sparkly Eyes]

yeah, shallow is when the size of the labia or penis or whatever else matters too much more than it should and covers the person's personality and good qualities! But having preferences is ok and I think all of us have it.

[Scorpion Fury]

i'm seeing this more and more on threads. what is your definition of shallow and give an example?

 

i call it preference. everything is pretty much going to be different to everyone else. it's just like when you pick the black kitten over the orange tabby to take home. what is the big deal?

 

Agree completely. people think I'm shallow because I won't date a "great guy" if I'm not physically attracted to him. I can't force or fake physical attraction, and it's important to me. It's not everything, but it's important.

[ghost69]

yeah, shallow is when the size of the labia or penis or whatever else matters too much more than it should and covers the person's personality and good qualities! But having preferences is ok and I think all of us have it.

 

omg, you didn't just bring the other post in here? i'll comment on this anyway. nobody on that thread said it mattered more than someone's personality and good qualities. thanks for trying to contrive that though. it was geared towards that specific thread. it is something that turns me off. shallow? nope.

[shes2smart]

From my observation "shallow" gets thrown out there when person "A" states something is important to them and that item/quality is not as important to person "B."

 

Person "B" then gets on a moral high horse (or maybe just a moral short pony) and calls person "A" shallow or calls what it is important to person "A" shallow. All the while seeming to forget that each of us gets to choose intimate partners on whatever criteria we see fit....no matter what anyone else thinks.

 

It's also more likely for person "B" to call person "A" shallow if person "B" doesn't fit person "A"s criteria of what is desirable. Such as a larger gal, like myself, calling men who like smaller women "shallow"....which I was guilty of in my younger days. I was also very wrong for doing so. I have no right to tell anyone else what they should find desirable or attractive.

 

I do, however, have the right to raise all hell if someone's preferences result in them treating me in a rude, unkind or uncivil manner. So, f'rinstance, a man who prefers to date thinner women has every right to do so (and not date me at all)....but that does not mean he gets a free pass to call me a "fat cow" or the like.

[Sparkly Eyes]

omg, you didn't just bring the other post in here? i'll comment on this anyway. nobody on that thread said it mattered more than someone's personality and good qualities. thanks for trying to contrive that though. it was geared towards that specific thread. it is something that turns me off. shallow? nope.

 

I didnt mean that you said that. I just had a definition about shallow!

[ghost69]

I didnt mean that you said that. I just had a definition about shallow!

 

i wasn't defending myself, i was just saying that i don't think it's shallow. if it outweighs other things like you mentioned, well, then i could see that as being a bit shallow. but if physical outweighs personality, that's just one person's wants in life. just because one person values physical over emotional doesn't really make them shallow though. i think there is more than physical, but that is just me, but that is what that thread was about....a physical feature.

 

this thread is things like, you like humor versus intellectual conversation, or you like red heads over brunettes, nice teeth over buck teeth, and yes, maybe a tiny labia versus one that is bigger...all preference and none of that is really shallow.

[Pegasus]

There is no such thing as being shallow - why would someones preferences match yours? Who has a right to judge?

[ghost69]

There is no such thing as being shallow - why would someones preferences match yours? Who has a right to judge?

 

that's what i'm trying to get at. very good post peg.

 

i think of other cultures. what they value as attractive is sometimes the complete opposite of here. having multiple wives shows power even though some cultures the men don't care about the women. yet, the women wait on these guys hand and foot. are they shallow? no, it's their preference, it's how they live, it's basically...life.

 

so i like using yellow sticky pads over pink or green. 'omg, ghost, you are so shallow. what did the green one ever do to you?'

[amtjrtcet]

I think a negative shallow is more like judging someone on what they're wearing or what kind of car they drive.

Everything else is just preference.

[Scorpion Fury]

I think actually, someone that is "shallow" if there is such a thing, would be someone that will date a person they find attractive just because they are attractive. It doesn't matter that they have nothing in common or the person is not smart enough to hold an intelligent conversation. They are just arm candy to be seen with in public. They never talk about anything of importance.

 

I want to date someone I'm attracted to, but if I don't think they have other good qualities, I won't keep dating them.

[ImThatGirl]

One usage of shallow - - - ->

 

A woman who dates/marries a guy just because he has tons of money and takes care of her / spoils her while secretly hating everything else about him.

[Scorpion Fury]

One usage of shallow - - - ->

 

A woman who dates/marries a guy just because he has tons of money and takes care of her / spoils her while secretly hating everything else about him.

 

Good one. Caring ONLY about physical things, instead of physical things AND non-physical things

[Mutley]

One usage of shallow - - - ->

 

A woman who dates/marries a guy just because he has tons of money and takes care of her / spoils her while secretly hating everything else about him.

 

or...

 

A man who dates/marries a woman just because she has extremely large breasticulars while secretly hating everything else about her.

[g84]

Hmm, I think shallow would be when a person doesn't really make an effort to look passed a person's 'flaws'. I know that we all have preferences when it comes to appearance and everything, but there are some people out there who seem to carry around sort of a "do-not-like list" when it comes to looks, you know what i mean? They become so caught up in identifying what turns them off that it stops them from moving forward and giving people a chance. I know that attraction can't be forced, but attraction can often develop later on (this has happened to my friend). She has dated guys who weren't physically her type, but she ended up feeling more attracted in the end because she got to know to them better. Even a strong initial physical attraction to someone can be lessened when you realize that they're not respectful/nice people for example. So I guess i would think a shallow person doesn't show enough tolerance or open-mindedness in general. We all have flaws and I think it's easy to look at someone and point out what turns you off, but what does a person gain from doing that.

[ImThatGirl]

Good one. Caring ONLY about physical things, instead of physical things AND non-physical things

 

or...

 

A man who dates/marries a woman just because she has extremely large breasticulars while secretly hating everything else about her.

 

Yup, yup - Any person who chooses to be with someone because of what they have or can do for them with knowing that they will never bond with that person emotionally. Always watching their options as to what and who can get them further in a physical or materialistic way.

 

So yeah - there's my def of Shallow.

 

People have the right to have preferences though! And insisting on physical attraction is a standard / expectation.... Not out of line or picky or shallow.

 

Under my breath: hahaha breasticulars Mutley!

[amtjrtcet]

I know that attraction can't be forced, but attraction can often develop later on (this has happened to my friend). She has dated guys who weren't physically her type, but she ended up feeling more attracted in the end because she got to know to them better..

 

I've tried this...Didn't work for me. Just ended up hurting the guy when I had to break it off. I can't go any further with out the inital physical attraction. Sorry.

[McLovin oo7]

i'm seeing this more and more on threads. what is your definition of shallow and give an example?

 

i call it preference. everything is pretty much going to be different to everyone else. it's just like when you pick the black kitten over the orange tabby to take home. what is the big deal?

 

If you look up any dictionary, shallow means any of these – “of little depth”, superficial: a mind that is not narrow but shallow, lack of depth (with regards to a person’s thinking if you may add)

 

There is a huge difference between preferences and shallowness, however people pretend to hide behind the famous preference argument just to cover their shallowness. Usually racist do that too.

 

To me, a shallow person is a person who lives his or her life at the surface, thinks only in materialistic superficial terms. He / she relies on an artificial world for intelligence, so he / she is usually narcissistic.

[ghost69]

If you look up any dictionary, shallow means any of these – “of little depth”, superficial: a mind that is not narrow but shallow, lack of depth (with regards to a person’s thinking if you may add)

 

There is a huge difference between preferences and shallowness, however people pretend to hide behind the famous preference argument just to cover their shallowness. Usually racist do that too.

 

To me, a shallow person is a person who lives his or her life at the surface, thinks only in materialistic superficial terms. He / she relies on an artificial world for intelligence, so he / she is usually narcissistic.

 

key term: superficial. money, assets, etc.

 

i think only dating a certain race is a preference too. and it's not racist by any means.

 

i like how you tried to tie shallow into superficial. but that's what i'm getting at. shallow is not preferences. i think for once we agree mclovin?

[McLovin oo7]

key term: superficial. money, assets, etc.

 

i think only dating a certain race is a preference too. and it's not racist by any means.

 

i like how you tried to tie shallow into superficial. but that's what i'm getting at. shallow is not preferences. i think for once we agree mclovin?

 

As I said, in a way, shallow is being superficial.

 

I think we agree to disagree on this one ghost.

[ghost69]

As I said, in a way, shallow is being superficial.

 

I think we agree to disagree on this one ghost.

 

cool. as usual. lol. no problemo.

[kaoticbaby]

it takes a lot for me to think of someone as truly shallow. i might say someone is "being" shallow about a certain situation, but to TRULY be shallow, hmm...

 

i'd say someone who only cares about looks on the opposite sex, always wants nice presents, dumps the person they're with if they do not get them nice enough gifts, thinks that everything should be their way and nobody else's or that they're not worth their time... etc.

 

most people aren't all of those things. i know one person who is (i based the description on her, heh), and she's happy in her own little world, so it suits her i guess.