awkward sex moments!

[george237]

I was at a friends off campus party during college. Me and my girl at the time decided to borrow the only bathroom for a few minutes. Well in the middle of everything the sink separated from the wall. We finished on the toilet and opened up the door only to find half the party in the hallway. Needless to say I spent my sunday trying to fix the sink, wound up buying one with a vanity.

[george237]

sneezing while going down on a girl

 

Now thats funny. I wish I could spell out the sound I am thinking of

[ljoy74]

My poor boyfriend would kill me if he knew I posted this online...

 

So my boyf is a non-believer in cleaning his room but most college guys follow that rule. I knew it would bite him in the ass one day. It was the first time we ever had sex and I'm laying in his bed naked while he rolls over to grab a condom. He can't reach them so he gets up off his bed and grabs one and turns around to come back to the bed when he steps on a piece of paper and slides accross the floor, falling onto his back right in front of me, naked. It was like a scene from a movie, arms flailing, one leg sliding accross the floor and the other in the air.

 

It was PRICELESS. Luckily we laughed about it even though later he admitted just how embarrassed he really was to have slipped and fallen in front of his naked girlfriend.

[dev22]

Getting caught by the police. Never fun! I was at a bar with a guy I was dating and we decided we needed to have sex NOW LOL So we went out to his car in the parking lot and started going at it, a few minutes later a cop knocked on the window. No bueno.

 

To top it off, the cop for some reason asked if we were boyfriend and girlfriend, and we hadnt put a label on our relationship yet. So that was ackward moment #2. Plus talking to a cop while in your bra is never a fun feeling

[LostInFlorida]

I took a girl to the "Tampa Chili Cook-off" a few years back, and we had a great time. Afterwards, when we got back to the car in the parking garage, she wanted to give me a bj. I told her that with the combo of chili and beer, there might be some "heavy weather ahead", but she insisted. And sure enough, about 5 minutes into it, an abnornally foul one slipped out. Big time mood killer, and of course then she gets mad and of course I'm the bad guy. She was like "OMFG, you are such an a**hole!" lol. Pretty funny now, but not too funny at the time.

[laisla]

during a boring movie at the theatres we were fooling around a bit with me giving him a hand job. there was only about 10 other people in the theatre and we were quiet in the back. this lady security guard comes to us and shines her flashlight right at us. she said "not here guys". so she left, but we did it again lol. and then she came back hahah.

 

another time was when we were in the basement and his brother came home and called for his name. we were both naked so we got up quick and ran. he ran to the bathroom and i ran in the opposite direction, to his dad's study area. my clothes were in the bathroom LOL so i ran a mad dash to get there.

 

another time was when we wanted to do a quicky in the backseat which turned into a longy. i had to go meet a friend at a certain time so we rushed it and when i met the friend he asked why the car windows were "foggy" on a clear day LOLLL. that i could not explain.

[Umlunguusa]

well...I was eating her out...and she was moaning, and bucking her hips, and getting very wet...obviously, she was having an orgasm...she came...and then, she was quiet for about a minute...and said "You really suck. I had so much better."

 

LOL, I always laugh, because she tries to act lesbian around everyone and says that "no one gives better oral than lesbians", yet when I was with her...I guarantee you, just to see how much I "sucked', I made her beg for it...for a whole hour!

 

WHO GOT'S THE LAST LAUGH NOW!

[android]

this is gr8... maybe i'd slip in my experience too...it was a party nite at her place. and it had been a while since we had met up. We were crazy about sex. I tried getting with her in the bedroom, just lifting her skirt and dropping her underwear a little,i was just brushing my thing agaisnt her ass,it kinda makes me horny... she was gettng horny too, raising her hands to my neck and face.. and guess what, her brother walks in all of a sudden and she kinda lifted her hands as if someone had a gun in front of her,well, i stilll had my hard on against her back, it did make me feel lik i was the gun man lolz... he just walked off.. but it kinda put us off..

 

The party was like almost over a few hours later... she walked in to the bathroom, indicating me to follow.. we were making out in the dark bathroom, when i made her sit on the wash baisin... when we got a little more into it, i started pounding a bit too hard and the creaking baisin just broke down sending all the porcelan and dust around. i held her and i was still inside her. we really wanted to continue when there was a knock at the door and voices outside... we just looked at each other.. what happened after that was a blur.. we got ddressed of course and we had to make up a story that she was feeling giddy and i had rushed to catch her before falling but couldnt... and she fell over the baisin... well noone seemed to think why the door was closed and locked,over all that alcohol and they seemed to be concerned if she was alright.... LOLz

[MattW]

Haha, what a great topic. I only wish I had a funny story to share... Too bad I haven't even had sex yet, heh... Ah well, once I finally DO have a funny sex story to tell, maybe some one will have made another topic like this, huh? lol

[Snowy]

Why is this thread dead lol...

 

These stories are too funny.

[ay0_x]

I was at my then boyfriend's house, and we had only just started dating so I hadn't met any of his family. We had sex in his room then he decided to follow me to the bathroom to continue there- I was still naked but he had a hoodie and boxers on.

 

We get to the bathroom.. we hear the front door. It's his brother in law who lives with them lmao. I get incredibly embarrassed. Bf leaves the bathroom and I thought he was going to go and get clothes for me.

 

He comes back empty handed and at this point I'm about to cry of humiliation haha. "WHY DID YOU EVEN COME BACK WITHOUT MY CLOTHEEEEEEEEEEES" and he's like "Iunno"and goes to get them again . I put my clothes on and leave the bathroom with my head so low haha

[DD123]

haha these are funny. ok ill post a couple.

 

so one time i was giving my bf a bj and i was kinda going pretty deep and then he came and it went up my fricken nose!!...yeah it was super awkward and kinda gross. oh well haha we laughed it off.

 

another time we were at my house and my mom was home but she was in the living room so we decided to have sex anyway but it was nightitme and the lights were off. so we were having sex and then she walked in and was like, ok guys im going to sleep! hahah and we were just like talking and she didnt even notice she walked in on us having sex. it was really bad hahah

[sara-pezzini]

tried using chocolate bodypaint on him while it was extremely hot outside, the chocolate melted in the skin right away, couldn't lick it off and he turned brown quickly LOL!

[Michele32]

i have two horrible ones! One is way worse than the other though

1) queefing in an ex's face when he was giving me oral. 2) FARTing in a guys face when he was giving me oral!!

so embarrasing..

[DD123]

2) FARTing in a guys face when he was giving me oral!!

so embarrasing..

 

omg what did he do

[Sparkly Eyes]

i have two horrible ones! One is way worse than the other though

1) queefing in an ex's face when he was giving me oral. 2) FARTing in a guys face when he was giving me oral!!

so embarrasing..

 

Yeah, I got fart on my face when I was giving oral too, lol. I didn't mind, found it funny, but he was so very embarrassed.

[Michele32]

haha, he didnt say anything, i think we were both a little shocked! it just slipped out! sooo embarrassing

[Wistful]

Oh my gosh. XD

I was on top of my bf once, we weren't having sex, I was just sort of rubbing on him...teasing, I guess...then he put his hand up to pull my head down to kiss him, poking me hard in the eye in the process.

[InkkedBree]

I think I elbowed my partner two times initating sex. Can't help it, I do it to myself too -- just three days ago, hit my jaw to my knee. Lol.

[gravity]

Once in my ex's new apartment we were trying out the bed (wooden slat frame design, where the mattress sits directly on the crossbeams without a box spring) and the slats supporting the head end of the mattress shifted (they weren't secured properly) causing that end of the mattress to collapse into the frame, leaving us both head down at a 45* angle! XD

[Snowy]

i think i elbowed my partner two times initating sex. can't help it, i do it to myself too -- just three days ago, hit my jaw to my knee. lol.

 

lol. Hahaha

[Aeryn]

A few years ago, I was giving my ex a bj. He lived with his parents at the time, and it was about 2 in the AM, so we assumed everybody was sound asleep.

 

So there we are in the living room, laying on the couch, and I'm giving him a bj. He was on the verge of cumming...when all the sudden footsteps start walking towards the living room. I jumped up FAST and ran out of there to hide... and my ex ended up with cum all over his hand and blanket.

 

I went back in there a few minutes later, and he was telling me about how his mom was trying to give him a hug and stuff while he hand was covered in cum. I was just like, "ooops" lmfao.

[thagator]

My ex was having a party at her place, about 20-30 people there. I go into the bathroom to pee, she follows me in there. We start going at it then have sex sitting on the toilet. Afterwards, I just throw the used condom in the little trashcan not thinking anything of it. Next person who goes in there sees the used condom and he comes out of the bathroom screaming and yelling about it and shouting "Who just had sex in the bathroom!" We were the only couple there, everyone knew it was us.

 

Another bathroom one: we were at a party and one of her friends drinks too much and ends up passing out in the bathtub with vomit all over himself. Me and the ex decide to be good guests and check in on him and do a little cleaning. After 30 seconds of attwmpted cleaning we start making out. I sit on the toilet and she starts giving me a bj, one of her male friends just walks right in because he has to pee, he just goes "don't mind me." Then after he left and we went back in to "clean" he just says "carry on."

[DrKitten]

My boyfriend has had his nipple cut open during sex (not by me!). He said it's happened twice and is excruciatingly painful for like a week if anything touches it, like a shirt. I have very short nails but he still doesn't let me get anywhere near his nipples, lol.

[FrillyTilly]

My stories aren't anywhere near as embarassing as most of the others!

 

When me and my bf first started dating we'd make up stories that we were going somewhere but really sneak back to his house and get it on (I have protective parents). Anyways, we were doing the deed and my cell rings, it was my mom.... Now at this point I was on top and I slowed down but kept going. She was asking where we were and what we were doing, to which I made up a bunch of white lies. At the end of the conversation she says "Carry on." Me - OKAY!

 

Another thing that I find funny, the first time I was actually penetrated I was on a ferry out in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean somewhere between NL and NS - def won't forget that anytime soon! Best ferry ride EVER!