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dropping university


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ok so, I just spent the past hour crying

 

Im in university at the moment, and i really want to drop out. I feel no motivation at all to continue..im depressed here cause i live on campus and dont connect with anyone, my marks are poor, i am not eating healthy at all..and i jsut hate it!

 

I want to transfer to a differnt school next year which is close by so i can be at home...feel comfortable..cause right now i am out of my comfort zone..I just dont think i can handle it right now

 

however, im scared to tell my parents..they have paid over 15 thousand for me to be here, and i feel like i messed everything up..i need help ..seriously

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Maybe now is not the right time for you to start uni. Do you know what you want to be when you "grow up" or are you taking random courses? I can tell you completely honestly, that if I had started uni right after high school, I don't think I would have stayed in it. I am really glad I waited a few years, figured out what I really wanted, and developed a real drive for succeeding. I don't think it's always possible to jump from hs into college and come out 4 years later, degree in hand and future set. Follow your own path, if you need to. Why do you feel particular uncomfortable at this school, if I may ask?

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There's no shame in leaving and taking some time to figure out what you want to do. I agree with the advice that you should at least finish off the semester.

 

Is there any reason you feel like you don't connect with anyone at university? Having some good friends would likely make you feel a lot better. Have you tried any clubs, or residence activities?

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When I was in college there was this cool grade called an "incomplete". It was for any circumstance which was beyond your control. If your school has it, all you would need is a doctor's note and you could take all incompletes. At my school you had 1 whole year to redo the class before the grade turned into an F. I'd look into it if I were you.

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Well, what specifically is it about living in the dorm that you don't like? if it is just because it is not home, you are going to have to leave home sometime. if it is because of a roommate, you can switch roommates. if its noise, etc, there is sometimes off campus housing. You can rent a room or an apartment outside of the dorms.

 

Can you wait for going home until you at least have the classes you are attending now completed so you have something to transfer and get credit for it? It will look a lot better to the new school if you completed what you started?

 

Another idea is to find someone who is ahead of you in school, already completed their first year or two to mentor you. Someone like that can help motivate you.

 

Also, what about family and friends visiting on weekends once in awhile? They could come up and stay nearby. Would give you more contact with home if your are more homesick than you are simply hating dorm life.

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It's probably the feeling of loneliness that comes with moving away and living by herself. I know how that feels. There are no emotional support, and feeling like a failure and unable to keep up is another factor. Finals are coming up, and we get really stressed out during this time.

 

After I moved away from home, my grades dropped so much. I would fail courses because there are so many other things that I had to take care of. Everyday you have to think about Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner and prepare it. I broke my sleep pattern, and slept irregularly. For awhile I drank caffeine to finish up on projects that I have no motivation to finish because I was breaking down from my own overwhelmed life. The fact that my room is different from my old house that I had been living my entire life in feels different and my usual ritual shattered into pieces. And there are unidentifiable reason why I didn't have the energy to work like how i used to.

 

It's fustrating when you don't have your acts together when you KNOW you can do better. My unadjusted lifestyle have been ruining my obligation as a student. That just comes with students who isn't able to adjust. I guess it's also a process of becoming independent. A really cruel process to some of us.

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You should immediately look into your campus counseling services to help students. You need to see a counselor to talk about your issues and see if you can find a solution, or if you are clinically depressed and perhaps need medication rather than leaving school.

 

First try to work this out with counseling to at least finish out the year, and if you still feel this way at the end of the year you can talk to your parents about transferring to a local college.

 

But perhaps you just need some help adjusting to being away from home (which is a common problem with new students), rather than throwing over everything to run home. I think you would just feel defeated if you did that, so better to get the help you need, and campuses have student support mental health and social services freely available if you look them up.

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You know, if I know people like you in school, I'd be glad to come and help you with your workload. But I don't know who is who. It's funny because you'd think my motivation to study is career oriented, but what often drives my motivation to stay on track is to take care of other students when they're distressed thus I need to keep up and have time for that. But this semester I can hardly stay on track myself since I'm still adjusting to my new home.

 

I think it's too late for you to get help since the semester is ending (if your school based on 3 semesters). In times like these, the core of the problem usually stemmed from stressed over the fact that you may not be as prepared to tackle the final exam / final assignment, thus you need emotional support and a cascade of other things. Just stay on track, and focus on what you can accomplish. It's funny because some people at this point will tell you that "you can do it if you believe you can". But to synthesize this train of thought from consistent discouragement throughout the term is not very practical. It's logical, but no emotional belief to back that up.

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Well since your courses are year long instead of semester you may be able to drop without a penenalty. Find out. Being homesick is common among freshmen, speak with a counselor about tips on coping. Can you go home more often? I went home every other weekend, it almost felt like I never left. It started to suck because I was missing my friends on campus.

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