trincitee Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 I met this guy at uni recently and have become friends with him. He came around my house a couple of nights ago and my sister had a conversation with him. I went in the kitchen to get him a drink and my sister joined me and she said "OMG, his personality is crap!!!! Is he ever lively?!" he isn't the most lively of people, in fairness. But i still like him nonetheless. And i think it's his personality which stops him from getting dates. Have you ever met anybody who has little chance of getting a girlfriend? Link to comment
Cirquel Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 Hahaha. I've met stone walls, myself. There's one guy I know who is very good looking so he can actually land a girlfriend, until they realize that he is WAY WAY too "mellow" for his own good. He asked me out at one point, and I was like... no!!! lol Link to comment
trincitee Posted November 19, 2008 Author Share Posted November 19, 2008 Well, most people who are considered as being dull still get girlfriends/boyfriends. How? Who would want them? Link to comment
Mutley Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 How? Who would want them? Other dull people. Link to comment
trincitee Posted November 19, 2008 Author Share Posted November 19, 2008 Other dull people. OK. But in our neighborhood there aren't any other dull women. Link to comment
shes2smart Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 How? Who would want them? Other people who don't find them dull. Link to comment
comfyshoes Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 it would seem i have little chance of getting a girlfriend. i don't know what it is about me. i have just resigned myself to the fact that i will die a spinster Link to comment
Mutley Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 OK. But in our neighborhood there aren't any other dull women. Life doesn't end at the county line. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 trin, why do you care? you gonna date him? Link to comment
trincitee Posted November 19, 2008 Author Share Posted November 19, 2008 trin, why do you care? you gonna date him? He's my friend and I want to help him. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 He's my friend and I want to help him. does he seem concerned about his track record and getting dates? Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 how exactly is your approach to helping him? You cant exactly go up to him and say "hey, obviously you cant get girls so here is afew pointers". lol Link to comment
trincitee Posted November 19, 2008 Author Share Posted November 19, 2008 does he seem concerned about his track record and getting dates? yes he has. he needs the help though. Link to comment
trincitee Posted November 19, 2008 Author Share Posted November 19, 2008 how exactly is your approach to helping him? You cant exactly go up to him and say "hey, obviously you cant get girls so here is afew pointers". lol Well yesterday my friends and i were chatting and he just sit there and said nothing. he's my friend and all, but he's too boring. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 I don't think it's fair to say his personality is crap. Maybe he's just shy and doesn't have much game so he doesn't know how to talk to girls/strangers. Obviously there is something cool about him, if you like him and want to be his friend? What is it that you like about him? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 he's shy and insecure. you need to get him out more in social environments. pretty much start including him more in conversation so he gets comfortable around women. Link to comment
WindowTo Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 Everybody has something good about them. Often people that come off as dull are really just shy or don't know how to express their personality. It can take a while to really understand a quiet shy or "dull" person's personality but over time I am sure they can turn out to be rather admirable. The problem is that these people may not be immediately attractive, and often are not assertive enough for women/not assertive enough in expressing their personality. In essense I believe that the best advice to your friend is that when in a social environment get the cogs in the head going and focus on finding out other people's personalities, hobbies, passions, connections, friends, family, pets, politics, philosophies etc and upon hearing them react to them and in turn express his own. I dunno, could one pull that off? Sitting down with a friend and saying: you know if you think you don't attract any girls its because you have to break out of your shell and take a genuine interest in who other people are and who you are! Link to comment
trincitee Posted November 19, 2008 Author Share Posted November 19, 2008 I don't think it's fair to say his personality is crap. Maybe he's just shy and doesn't have much game so he doesn't know how to talk to girls/strangers. Obviously there is something cool about him, if you like him and want to be his friend? What is it that you like about him? he's good natured. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 he's good natured. Well there you have it. I think he's just shy and doesn't communicate well with women. Take him out, introduce him to girls, include him in the conversation. Link to comment
trincitee Posted November 19, 2008 Author Share Posted November 19, 2008 I guess other people who are considered as being dull. Think about it, the majority of people, no matter who they are or what they look like, still have boyfriends/girlfriends and long term relationships. There's got to be some, you can't know everyone in your neighbourhood. Not that I know of. Link to comment
trincitee Posted November 19, 2008 Author Share Posted November 19, 2008 Well there you have it. I think he's just shy and doesn't communicate well with women. Take him out, introduce him to girls, include him in the conversation. thanks for your input. the thing is he doesn't talk much around guys either. This may sound harsh or even cruel, but I think his entire personality needs a makeover. He told me a few days ago that he never had many friends in his school, and girls wouldn't give him the time of day. he needs to get out there more and start to enjoy life more a bit. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 I think everyone has the chance of finding someone because theres always someone with a similar personality or similar way of thinking. A personality you find boring or weird might be someone elses dream. Link to comment
redhearts Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 I have. I have a friend who is not at all the best looker. Being 35, you know that is why he doesn't have a gf, because he is trying to go way beyond super model of a gf. He makes good money, he travels a lot, he is in shape etc. He just doesn't have the looks or the common sense to go for an average female. Still a virgin, only one gf, that was decades ago. Link to comment
shes2smart Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 He's my friend and I want to help him. Has he asked for your help? If not, I'd say it's none of your business, really. "Help" that is forced upon one when it hasn't been sought out or asked for can be most unhelpful. Link to comment
Lusif Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 No one is 'dull' deep down, he obviously just has his guard up. Not to put any responsibility on you or anything, but if you could get him to open up somehow it'd probably really help him! People like that usually need to learn how to get out of their shell, or find a real extrovert who'll drag their personality out (in a good way). IMO anyway. Link to comment
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