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people who have no hope of getting a girlfriend


trincitee
Dating Someone Not Attracted To - D...
Dating Someone Not Attracted To - Do It!

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I met this guy at uni recently and have become friends with him. He came around my house a couple of nights ago and my sister had a conversation with him. I went in the kitchen to get him a drink and my sister joined me and she said "OMG, his personality is crap!!!! Is he ever lively?!"

 

he isn't the most lively of people, in fairness. But i still like him nonetheless. And i think it's his personality which stops him from getting dates.

 

Have you ever met anybody who has little chance of getting a girlfriend?

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how exactly is your approach to helping him? You cant exactly go up to him and say "hey, obviously you cant get girls so here is afew pointers". lol

 

Well yesterday my friends and i were chatting and he just sit there and said nothing. he's my friend and all, but he's too boring.

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Everybody has something good about them. Often people that come off as dull are really just shy or don't know how to express their personality. It can take a while to really understand a quiet shy or "dull" person's personality but over time I am sure they can turn out to be rather admirable. The problem is that these people may not be immediately attractive, and often are not assertive enough for women/not assertive enough in expressing their personality. In essense I believe that the best advice to your friend is that when in a social environment get the cogs in the head going and focus on finding out other people's personalities, hobbies, passions, connections, friends, family, pets, politics, philosophies etc and upon hearing them react to them and in turn express his own.

 

I dunno, could one pull that off? Sitting down with a friend and saying: you know if you think you don't attract any girls its because you have to break out of your shell and take a genuine interest in who other people are and who you are!

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I don't think it's fair to say his personality is crap. Maybe he's just shy and doesn't have much game so he doesn't know how to talk to girls/strangers. Obviously there is something cool about him, if you like him and want to be his friend? What is it that you like about him?

 

he's good natured.

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I guess other people who are considered as being dull.

 

Think about it, the majority of people, no matter who they are or what they look like, still have boyfriends/girlfriends and long term relationships.

 

 

 

There's got to be some, you can't know everyone in your neighbourhood.

 

Not that I know of.

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Well there you have it.

 

I think he's just shy and doesn't communicate well with women. Take him out, introduce him to girls, include him in the conversation.

 

thanks for your input.

 

the thing is he doesn't talk much around guys either. This may sound harsh or even cruel, but I think his entire personality needs a makeover. He told me a few days ago that he never had many friends in his school, and girls wouldn't give him the time of day. he needs to get out there more and start to enjoy life more a bit.

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I have. I have a friend who is not at all the best looker. Being 35, you know that is why he doesn't have a gf, because he is trying to go way beyond super model of a gf. He makes good money, he travels a lot, he is in shape etc. He just doesn't have the looks or the common sense to go for an average female. Still a virgin, only one gf, that was decades ago.

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No one is 'dull' deep down, he obviously just has his guard up. Not to put any responsibility on you or anything, but if you could get him to open up somehow it'd probably really help him!

 

People like that usually need to learn how to get out of their shell, or find a real extrovert who'll drag their personality out (in a good way). IMO anyway.

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