Flirting

[shemo]

My boyfriend is a very flirtatious guy. He doesn't do it on purpose - it's just his personality. We argue about it a lot because it makes me uncomfortable... I get insecure about it. I guess you can call it innocent flirting. Like a hehehe hahah kids in the school yard flirting. But I still don't appreciate it. I know he's not gonna change because he's just an overly friendly guy. But I do know that some of these girls sometimes get the wrong impression. I guess my question is for those of you who have significant others who are the same way - how do you deal with this type of situation?

[littlestar]

I used to have a friend who would flirt so 'innocently and naturally' that she didnt even realize she was doing it, i would pull her up on it and she would be like "was i flirting? really"

[Creative]

Yeah, one of my friend does the same thing even when he already has a girlfriend. With them, i tend to see some history of opposite sex success when they were young. A type of... no inhibition, confidence, fun involved. Going out with him he just constantly and deliberately eyeing the good looking girls in a very obvious manner that tells the other girl, "hey I notice you". I know exactly what you mean when you say the girls are getting the wrong impression.

 

Interesting about your case though since he still flirts in your presense.

[Darkness_Falls]

How does he flirt with them? I think there is a line between innocent and non-innocent flirtation.

[_Asti_]

At first it bothered me. But after years together, I don't give a crap.

 

I worried about what other's think, but really..do I care about other random people's opinion? No. Anyone who knows our relationship wouldn't even question what he's doing. And to me, that's what matters the most.

 

If his flirtacious personality makes a girl think the wrong idea and think he's interested, he has no problem saying he's taken. And that's what I've learned. It's who he is, has been for years, but his behavior doesn't exactly disrespect our relationship. He doesn't go out of his way with girls, he doesn't give them the time of day, his eye never wanders, and when we're out together I'm the apple of his eye. When we're in a big social setting, that's when I see this side coming out, but to me its harmless and unintentional..it's how he interacts.

 

And for me, the bottom line..he's never been short of amazing with me. He never forgets what he has, the way he treats me, and the way he values us. If his personality is a little non innocent flirtyness, so be it. If random people think things, they can go right ahead. They don't know anything about us, so I don't let it bother me.

[ghost69]

the only thing you need to worry about is if HE will take it too far, not the girls he talks to. you know this guy's personality and how he is. if you make an issue out of this too much you will lose him anyways.

[Creative]

if you make an issue out of this too much you will lose him anyways.

 

no she wouldn't. When it's a problem, it's a problem no matter how much you want to scare her.

[ghost69]

no she wouldn't. When it's a problem, it's a problem no matter how much you want to scare her.

 

huh? girls that get really insecure and bully a guy about their personality will get ditched eventually. especially if she says she doesn't trust him because of this personality trait.

[Creative]

huh? girls that get really insecure and bully a guy about their personality will get ditched eventually. especially if she says she doesn't trust him because of this personality trait.

 

She's not insecure, it's just a part of being human.

[ghost69]

She's not insecure, it's just a part of being human.

 

a lot of humans are insecure. think what you want.

 

OP, keep haggling your bf about his personality and see what happens. according to creative you are okay in doing it. good luck.

 

sounds to me like he is an outgoing guy like myself. people like him and his presense. can't help that.

[Creative]

a lot of humans are insecure. think what you want.

 

OP, keep haggling your bf about his personality and see what happens. according to creative you are okay in doing it. good luck.

 

sounds to me like he is an outgoing guy like myself. people like him and his presense. can't help that.

 

There are ways to go about everything, and nagging is certainly not one of the way. But the feeling is there, and you're not in the position to humiliate it.

[ghost69]

There are ways to go about everything, and nagging is certainly not one of the way. But the feeling is there, and you're not in the position to humiliate it.

 

okay, you are taking this way too far thinking i'm being humiliating. i'm out.

[Ac143]

a lot of humans are insecure. think what you want.

 

OP, keep haggling your bf about his personality and see what happens. according to creative you are okay in doing it. good luck.

 

sounds to me like he is an outgoing guy like myself. people like him and his presense. can't help that.

 

My SO flirts, I know he does. I find it funny actually, geez I flirt but I would never cross that line. It's different when someone flirts and it's just part of their personality, but this guy seems alittle "different" if its the same BF she has mentioned in the past, that they broke up - he slept with a coworker - got back together and he was texting back and forth with another female coworker THEN yes I would be worried and haggling him or better yet I just wouldnt be with this guy. He seems to be more interested in other women then focusing on his relationship.

[amtjrtcet]

I flirt without even realizing it. My girlfriends will point it out. I think its because I smile alot and make jokes all the time, and I never meet a stranger. Some people just do it naturally. If you trust him then don't worry bout it.

[ghost69]

My SO flirts, I know he does. I find it funny actually, geez I flirt but I would never cross that line. It's different when someone flirts and it's just part of their personality, but this guy seems alittle "different" if its the same BF she has mentioned in the past, that they broke up - he slept with a coworker - got back together and he was texting back and forth with another female coworker THEN yes I would be worried and haggling him or better yet I would just wouldnt be with this guy. He seems to be more interested in other women then focusing on his relationship.

 

thanks for agreeing. i didn't read the other threads, i was going based on what was given.

[Creative]

okay, you are taking this way too far thinking i'm being humiliating. i'm out.

 

Keep on dismissing other people's feeling, scare them, and see how far you get.

 

I flirt without even realizing it.

 

That's different from flirting and realizing it. How can someone laugh more than usual in the presense of opposite sex AND the girlfriend and not notice it?

[ghost69]

Keep on dismissing other people's feeling, scare them, and see how far you get.

 

 

 

That's different from flirting and realizing it. How can someone laugh more than usual in the presense of opposite sex AND the girlfriend and not notice it?

 

where am i dismissing other people's feelings?

 

and the laughing thing, it's a social thing. do you never act different among a crowd or other social settings or do you sit there all reserved not having a good time?

[Ac143]

Whats with all the bickering? lol Everyone has a different view on EVERY subject under the sun, to some flirting is OK to others its NOT. It can also depend on the situation/relationship/personalities etc etc..In this case, I believe the OP's BF is a flirt that "can cross that line" because of his past.

[Creative]

Whats with all the bickering? lol Everyone has a different view on EVERY subject under the sun, to some flirting is OK to others its NOT. It can also depend on the situation/relationship/personalities etc etc..In this case, I believe the OP's BF is a flirt that "can cross that line" because of his past.

 

I have a problem with this

if you make an issue out of this too much you will lose him anyways.

 

This is dismissing other people's feelings and scare them at the same time.

[Ac143]

I have a problem with this

 

 

This is dismissing other people's feelings and scare them at the same time.

 

UM ooook...well im not arguing with you, im sticking to my opinion and leaving it alone. I think we might have hit a "nerve" sorry...

[ghost69]

I have a problem with this

 

 

This is dismissing other people's feelings and scare them at the same time.

 

well, the OP has a problem with it, but she seems content knowing that it's his personality. i'm saying if it's that big of a deal, get a new bf, you will not change anything about the guy and if it keeps coming up as an issue, he will more than likely leave her. this is based on experience by me, friends, family, etc. MY experience. not trying to scare anybody. the OP asked for an opinion, i gave it.

[shemo]

My SO flirts, I know he does. I find it funny actually, geez I flirt but I would never cross that line. It's different when someone flirts and it's just part of their personality, but this guy seems alittle "different" if its the same BF she has mentioned in the past, that they broke up - he slept with a coworker - got back together and he was texting back and forth with another female coworker THEN yes I would be worried and haggling him or better yet I just wouldnt be with this guy. He seems to be more interested in other women then focusing on his relationship.

 

 

Yes it is him and that is why I am concerned. The only time he has crossed that line was when he slept with his coworker when we were broken up. But like most everyone said in that thread... we were broken up so I can't give him crap for it. I guess that's why I've been so insecure and concerned with his behavior lately. I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt about the texting with the other girl because there has been no texting between them ever since. Perhaps he was just bored that day. We did talk about his personality last night. He says he can't help but be who he is. I told him I can't change who he is, but I just want him to be more aware of his actions and not get caught up in things.

 

I know when I start my threads, he does sound like a scumbag who doesn't care about me. But I do know that he truly loves me and he is trying to make up for mistakes. I am just very insecure about the past and I know I can't control his actions. And his personality sometimes doesn't give me the peace of mind that I need. That's why I joined this forum, so I can share my thoughts without taking it out on him for no reason.

 

BTW, sorry for starting this debate. Thanks for listening.

[ghost69]

if this thread started out with it being this guy, my opinion would be different. to me now, he sounds worse than an untrustworthy guy. if this was some guy with a fresh slate who is just outgoing and talks to everyone, which i do in a relationship, he deserves that trust.