SapphireNoir10 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Its always been strange to me how I go for guys I KNOW are unsuitable, but im always attracted to that 'bad boy' persona. I dont get it, the mystery adn the drama seems attractive. Until you get your heartbroken which happened to me. Now im with a nice guy and hes perfect, but sometimes I get annoyed at him being so nice and touchy feely and miss the excitement of the bad boy. But I'd never give him up for it. I just think I'm not used to it. I think loads of women go through the bad boy stage, where they go out with the unsuitable guy and then realise 'Hey nice, normal, balanced guys arent so bad' What do you guys think...any personal experiences? Also I know bad guy and good guy isnt quite as black and white as that lol. Link to comment
redhearts Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 What about in between? Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 Lets say good guys include in between as well. I mean like the typical bad boy persona. And the opposite lol. Link to comment
i_win Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I think the thing about the nice guys is that it isn't that they are nice...it's that some can be pushovers and aren't masculine in the way that they project their opinion or take charge of situations. I think also a bad guy keeps the good girl constantly on the chase and this can be exciting...because sometimes when relationships get too comfortable for some strange reason that excitement is lost and sometimes the attraction with it. I know lots of women that have left the bad boy though for the nice guy and I think they were looking for nice guys all along but kept having bad luck. THe kind of women that truly want the bad boy are really submitting their lives to a life of drama. Link to comment
darkpumpkin Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Bad boys ARE hot but when it comes to someone I have to be with on a daily basis a good guy is the way to go, though I agree that when with a "nice guy" I have missed the bad boy qualities. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 I think the thing about the nice guys is that it isn't that they are nice...it's that some can be pushovers and aren't masculine in the way that they project their opinion or take charge of situations. I think also a bad guy keeps the good girl constantly on the chase and this can be exciting...because sometimes when relationships get too comfortable for some strange reason that excitement is lost and sometimes the attraction with it. I know lots of women that have left the bad boy though for the nice guy and I think they were looking for nice guys all along but kept having bad luck. THe kind of women that truly want the bad boy are really submitting their lives to a life of drama. Exactly. I think its the addiction to the bad boy drama rather than the person themselves. Yeah my nice guy can be a bit of a pushover, but only with me lol and thats kinda sweet, but he'd never compromise his beliefs for me which is good. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 Bad boys ARE hot but when it comes to someone I have to be with on a daily basis a good guy is the way to go, though I agree that when with a "nice guy" I have missed the bad boy qualities. Yeah thats my problem, no more drama and the constant chase was kinda fun and quite hot. Until you get burned by them lol. Whats it they say...play with fire and you get burnt. so true when it comes to bad boys! I'm always attracted to the bad boy. Alex Karev from Grey's anatomy is the typical example! Link to comment
Ac143 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I think the thing about the nice guys is that it isn't that they are nice...it's that some can be pushovers and aren't masculine in the way that they project their opinion or take charge of situations. I think also a bad guy keeps the good girl constantly on the chase and this can be exciting...because sometimes when relationships get too comfortable for some strange reason that excitement is lost and sometimes the attraction with it. I know lots of women that have left the bad boy though for the nice guy and I think they were looking for nice guys all along but kept having bad luck. THe kind of women that truly want the bad boy are really submitting their lives to a life of drama. Im with Iwin on this one - bad boys are full of drama, I stopped chasing bad boys after being with 2 of them in the past, I think its a phase us women go thru. I have a good guy now but was a bad boy when he was younger, so I would go with the good guy any day! Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 yeah I SWEAR its a stage. Most people I know, friends and mums included lol have had at least one bad boy. However they generally dont make good long term bf's. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 did this yesterday ] I did see that. And It got me thinking about posting a poll, and also sharing my own experience and asking if anyone else had experienced the bad boy stage Link to comment
Syntax1985 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 theres 2 types of nice guy, theres the insecure "im going to be nice to everyone so they accept me" type , that get dumped all the time and cry like mad. then there's the genuinely normal nice guy, who has a mind of his own and isnt going to lay down in a puddle so a girl can walk over him, but hes a nice guy. then theres the a-hole. as said tho kinda did this yesterday so not gonna go into 2 much detail, but thats the way i see it all Link to comment
Ac143 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Yeah they dont make good long term BF's but SOME grow out of being the bad boy and end up being a good guy to the right girl. I seen a few of my guy friends that were bad boys end up being married and great husbands....I would have never thought. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I think good guys are confused with boring guys. I think if you can find a good guy who is still exciting and won't let you walk all over him, then you've hit the jackpot. My ex was a good guy, but definitely a pushover and kinda "girly" sometimes. That was not my type. I just want to find a guy's guy who isn't a jerk haha. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 I agree. the over sensetive, puppy dog guy, is NEVER a good boyfriend, The nice and genetlemanly but strong in important ways is a brilliant boyfriend Yet bad boy drama can be so addictive. Link to comment
Syntax1985 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I did see that. And It got me thinking about posting a poll, and also sharing my own experience and asking if anyone else had experienced the bad boy stage no thats kewl, sorry im not trashing your topic, you got a just reason for it, i just think theyres 2 types of nice guys Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 Yeah they dont make good long term BF's but SOME grow out of being the bad boy and end up being a good guy to the right girl. I seen a few of my guy friends that were bad boys end up being married and great husbands....I would have never thought. Yeah people can change. Sometimes if they meet the right person they drop the bad boy thing. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 I think good guys are confused with boring guys. I think if you can find a good guy who is still exciting and won't let you walk all over him, then you've hit the jackpot. My ex was a good guy, but definitely a pushover and kinda "girly" sometimes. That was not my type. I just want to find a guy's guy who isn't a jerk haha. I've got a guys guy nice guy. Sometimes its annoying lol!! He fixes cars which is hot and is very manly in that regard but hes a perfect gentleman. Even still I sometimes miss the bad boy thing and the having to fight for attention and the chase. It was like a challenge. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 no thats kewl, sorry im not trashing your topic, you got a just reason for it, i just think theyres 2 types of nice guys Oh I know I didnt think you were!! Was just saying yours inspired me Link to comment
MT1981 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Many women go for the bad boys just to have that feeling of suspense. Guess cos its the chasing that is fun. The fact that they can chase someone who will not ideally fit their 'ideal man profile'. Its more fun to chase bad boys, because everything is like a surprise. However, I know that women want someone who can care for them, be a family man, and get along with the folks. I guess its an age thing - as people grow older, they realise whats more ideal for them. I consider myself to be a 'nice guy' - been pushed around heaps by women etc. But am not finishing last (as per the saying) - got a woman whom I adore, and who adores me. We have had problems, but at the end of the day, she knows that I wont just up and leave her, that Id come back to sort it out with her. Same with her, I know she wont up and leave me, she would be there to work it out. Link to comment
sparkles4 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I don't see why bad boys can't be nice boys at the same time. I like a badass guy who can break the rules and enjoy a bit of excitement, but is still a decent person towards others. That's my kind of guy. I could never be with a really straight-laced dude, nor could I be with a guy who thinks he's "bad" simply because he knows how to be an as$hole. Link to comment
Syntax1985 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 to be honest i think bad guys are an act, i don't think someone can genuinely treat someone like that and feel no remorse, they know its them being an A hole lol. the thing is to you girls saying you liek it, doesnt it seem liek that 2 you? and if so doesnt that turn you off that someone isnt just being themselfs? i think the "they turned nice" posts proves that, thats just them getting comfortable and being themselves, not change. again my opinion ( sorry i keep getting beaten up when i dont state that lol ) Link to comment
Ac143 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I don't see why bad boys can't be nice boys at the same time. I like a badass guy who can break the rules and enjoy a bit of excitement, but is still a decent person towards others. That's my kind of guy. I could never be with a really straight-laced dude, nor could I be with a guy who thinks he's "bad" simply because he knows how to be an as$hole. Yes! That's when I knew I hit the jackpot cause my SO now is a bit of both but far from an a$$hole. Link to comment
Rose21 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I like the total good guy. I used to say that before, yet somehow I always was attracted to the troubled guy and ended up with the mislead ones and I wanted to "fix" them. My boyfriend now is the best of the good guys. No joke, he's a total saint! Even more pure then I am, and thats DAMN hard to do lol. Link to comment
Odysseus Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I think the thing about the nice guys is that it isn't that they are nice...it's that some can be pushovers and aren't masculine in the way that they project their opinion or take charge of situations. I think also a bad guy keeps the good girl constantly on the chase and this can be exciting...because sometimes when relationships get too comfortable for some strange reason that excitement is lost and sometimes the attraction with it. I know lots of women that have left the bad boy though for the nice guy and I think they were looking for nice guys all along but kept having bad luck. THe kind of women that truly want the bad boy are really submitting their lives to a life of drama. Hmmm. But that's precisely what some people (men and women) seem to thrive on in their relationships. Tension = excitement. Drama = passion. I love the quote that "nice guys aren't so bad". Ugh. Talk about a slap in the face to any man who treats her woman with dignity and respect IMHO. I guess we are not too bad? Not quite chopped liver, but... Link to comment
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